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Reviews for Sinners

By : MystikIvanow
  • From RogueMudblood on December 15, 2011
    I'm curious as to your choice to have Ace refer to their actions in such a derogatory way. Did he in some way give the impression that he harbors ill sentiment towards the homosexual community? Because in your story he comes across that way with the constant description of himself as a "fag", and their relationship as a "sin".

    Other than that, which was a sticking point for me while reading, I would suggest that you obtain a beta in order to help you catch some of the issues you have with English grammar. I know that writing in a language other than your native one can be difficult (especially when it's such a language as English), and your mistakes are few, but they do detract from the story.

    You can find those advertising their services to beta here: http://www2.adultfanfiction.net/forum/index.php/forum/83-become-a-beta/

    I would strongly suggest that you find someone who can help you not only with grammar issues which might crop up, but also with cultural references and how a character using certain terms in dialogue can be off-putting to your readers.
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