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Reviews for Kindermädchen (Nanny)

By : Cyndiana
  • From ANON - Chocolate Flower on July 19, 2005
    I'll refrain from the snarkiness of Kildora.

    You say that your character is not a Mary Sue, but evidence in the story suggests otherwise. Granted, she is more well-written than most Sues, but still a Sue. She is "breathtaking", "fit and shapely", and her body "is without a blemish, and beautiful." You say your character has not been described as being perfect, although the story states it quite blatantly. Of course, she is also kind, warm, and the only person able to understand his daughter. The character has no identifiable faults. This makes her a Sue, and is quite bland as a result.

    As for the German being spoken, I can see a couple of spots where it might be necessary. However, most of the words seem to be common German words thrown in, and don't really help the story.

    And as a note: to assume someone must have self-esteem issues because he/she doesn't like the way a character is described is bad form.
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  • From Cyndiana on July 07, 2005
    Well, Kildora...

    I'm sorry you feel that way.

    Many people who don't even like het fics because of the rampant plagues of Mary Sues that frequent them enjoyed this fic BECAUSE the character wasn't a Mary Sue.

    You have every right to your opinion, thus why I've left your review here, and not deleted it.

    But, just because this is a het fic, doesn't make the female character a Mary Sue by default, and just because you have self-esteem issues, does not mean that this character has been described as having a "perfect body". I never described her that way. You merely added that to the context yourself.

    As far as going from German to English, it is not to make myself sound "smart", as you put it, but to establish that the characters are communicating in German. Instead of posting the entirety of the conversations in German, I give my readers credit for their intelligence, and start it in German, finish in English. It is a much more effective method of establishing the characters' spoken language than stating in the middle of the action, "OMG, they are now speaking in German, ok?!!!111!1".

    And, I assume you know Flake Lorenz personally, yes? I mean, for you to so boldly assume for me to write him the way I did, and thus it is not believeable, certainly you must know EXACTLY how he thinks, feels, and lives at all times, yes? How broadly you generalize to assume that because I wrote him as falling in love that is smacks of "Harlequin fodder", as you so eloquently put it. I've read quite a bit of Flake's writings, and have found him to be a romantic at heart, albeit a bit cynical about romance in general. So, I gathered from these writings to make a composite of him in the context of the story. What research did you do before you made your condemnation of my characterization of him? Very little, I'd assume.

    I am glad most people that read my fic are not so narrow-minded.

    -Cyndiana-
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  • From ANON - Kildora on June 29, 2005
    Dear God, I couldn't even finish this.

    You're as bad as an anime fangirl. Note: throwing around random German words to make yourself seem smart does not a story make. Pick a language and stick to it.

    Also, when choosing an existing character or person to write your story around, it might be prudent to actually write the character in a way that is somewhat believable. I find it hard to swallow when Flake smacks of Harlequin fodder.

    And Mary Sues are never, ever interesting. Especially when they fret over their "perfect" bodies. *Eyeroll*
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