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Reviews for Because of My Pet

By : pia
  • From ANON - Marie on January 23, 2006
    Awwwww! That was SOOOOO cute! Chapter two! Chapter two! One thing though, I think it could have been better written. I mean grammatically. Is English your first language? If not I would suggest a beta reader, but the plot was realllllly good. It is so cute. I hope you update soon.
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  • From ANON - Watch Me on January 20, 2006
    Okay. First of all, you were jumping between tenses. Your grammar was horrible. These technical aspects might seem trivial, but they really aren't. You can have a wonderful plot, but no one is going to read a story where the author commits grammatical genoicide. Put just a little more effort into that next time.

    Also, please pick one language. It does not make sense that Die would say, "Shimatte!" one moment and "You stupid kitten!" the next. Most people do not speak in two languages. If you're going to use the Japanese, then use the Japanese. All the time. If not, write in English!

    The plot was a little weak, but it wasn't horrible for a first fiction. Try again, and hit on the above points. I think it will help you improve.

    ♥
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