Reviews for Billion Dollar HaremBy : Mal |
I've never been good at reviewing things but I felt like saying that I love the story and that you have done a great job, Mal.
I'm terribly sorry you feel that way, JollyRanchers, but not every male in the world is so insecure about such things. I happen to feel that Alex is perfectly capable of satifying his women even after they've had the pleasure of other men. I appreciate your feedback even though it seems that your only intention is to upset me with your comments. I'm sure that your own fanfiction endevours are all perfectly polished masterpieces with hundreds of thousands of views and dozens of online commentors telling you how much they've enjoyed them. Please provdie a link to these works as I feel there will be a hole in my heart until I can lay my eyes upon them.
Thanks again,
-Mal
Congratulations for ruining the story. Was going so well until you had his guards gang bang Taylor Swift with their foot long cocks. You really cucked your own main character. What a fucking loser. You had one of his harem members get fucked by guys with bigger dicks than him. Such dissapointment. At this point, his guards can please 'his' woman better than he can. Just delete this shit story...
hello, I was looking forward to the new chapters on CSL and then I find three unread here. you make me struggle to keep up with you XD. However, chapters full of events, in addition to the fact that I love the turn Bella / Dove, but still does not make me go to such a great breakthrough the childish turn of Chloe, even if having her side by side with Thorne struck me. The Margot / Felicity report is very nice. I'm looking forward to reading about the next chapter and the delivery of the ring.
I really like your story; the writing, the chapter length, the behaviors of most of the characters. I think when you have a ton of girls, like in this story, it's easy to make them interchangeable and make them all the same, and you've done an incredible job of keeping them unique, especially with Ariana. She is my favorite, and I do wish she was around a bit more, but keep on doing what you're doing, it's great!
Man, can't wait for part 2.
Man, i really thought Dove was gonna become fanatical to the point she would think that Alex could do no wrong. But, at least Taylor is becoming someone I like, someone who could be really loyal to Alex. Anyway, another great chapter, i like how he's turning them to his side one-by-one. Can't wait for the next chapter and the new girls.
Now, Dove is turning into a fanatical, loyal, devoted member. She is what Emma Watson should have been. Make sure Dove isn't shared with the other the girls and only belongs to him. And she should be the most loyal of all the others.
Honestly, this erotic fiction is the greatest piece of erotic writing I've ever seen... So intracite and detailed... The introduction of Ari especially as a cat!!... Was incredible..I just wish she was Ales's private pet and only he could touch her. There is so much creative control and space with this story, new girls could come in etc. I am highly anticipating the next chapter!... I don't know if it would be available but the inclusion of celebrities such as Nena Dobrev (Vampire Diaries), Scarlet Johannson (Actress), would be phenomenal. Love your writing, there's nothing else I can find like it so keep up the incredible work man!... Can't wait for chapter 37
I would never have the balls to write something like this.
So ya gotta give the writer A for the balls. xD
A well written and thoughtful story. It's more than just the ordinary. The story has a nice base and evolves through the pages. Not completely hardcore (luckily) and something for everyone's taste.
Keep it up!
I read this entire story in 1 day, that's how good it is, I honestly don't know why u aren't drowning in reviews. Keep up the fantastic work.
If you do bring in extra celebs into the harem, perhaps you could have Alex do it as a 'reward' for one of the girls, asking which girl they've either had a crush on, or would simply like to fuck, as it were. Or it could be the ultimate punishment for their misbeahvior, bringing in one or more girls and being forced into participating in breaking them into the harem. Potential girls that I'd like to see in the harem would be Sophie Turner, Maisie Williams, Alexandra Daddario, Dakota Blue Richards, Anna Popplewell, Ashley Greene, Dakota Fanning and Elizabeth Olsen. So far, loving the story, enjoying the 'soft and hard' approach that each girl thus far has had to endure during their particular acceptance of this new life of theirs. Hope you've got plenty of fun chapters coming up and enjoy your christmas and new year.
I see a great story, but no reviews for it.So I'm going to leave one.
Generally I like reading stories like this, where girls are in captivity and forced to obey a kind of "master", who is kind but strict at the same time.The main issue with these stories is the "breaking them in" part.In most stories it happens too fast - a couple of orgasms and that's it, they're turned. I hope you don't do that.Now, is that nessesarily bad?No.It can be overlooked if your "smut/fucking" and "character development" parts are good and written in a hot, sexy way.Which they are.
Although I personally think your smut can use a bit more depravity, if you will.More nasty words for general, overused "cock", "pussy" etc. Make sex more verbal, don't only stimulate the reader through visuals. Try to look at works of other author and copy stuff from them(no shame in it, just don't copy entire paragraphs).Also, introducing new celebrities might be a good idea once most current ones are broken in.I have some preferences, but I'll hold on to them for now.Let me know if you're willing to put some new ones in by request.
But all that said, I like your story,hence the review.I want it continue, and felt like "zero" beside "reviews" can't really encourage to write more. So thank you and good luck.
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo