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for A diamond in the sea of lust

by angelorton

person Mercika
schedule July 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I'm going to be honest ... it sounds interesting, but my mind is distracted by the bad grammar/writing. Capitals are GOOD. Bad grammar is BAD. Theres a quick lesson for you. I don't mean to sound harsh ... but maybe a BETAer might help?
Sorry if I sounded mean.
~ Mercika
person M
schedule July 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Capitalize properly. Try to prevent it from reading like a bad - if slightly hot - porn flic, unless that's what you're going for. Diamonds, these words...
person mrs cena
schedule July 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i cant wait till tha next ch
person Fidelitas
schedule July 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
interesting story...I can't wait for readin more about it!
She accepted the offer...I think she doesn't know yet what she is getting herself into ;)

Update soon,please :)
Randy & Dave and a woman together....WOW!
person caitie
schedule June 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
love it can't wait to read more

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