schedule
September 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Excellent! You really nailed it with this.
schedule
November 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Now this has some depth to it. This is the kind of passion I was talking about when I reviewed your other story. The grammar isn't perfect, but it is a step up. I do actually give a shit about the characters, and I don't find it as difficult to read.
The capitals through me off a bit, but that's a personal irritant of my own, and here, it really doesn't effect the story. Also, I know you don't like Ditta (although, I don't really understand why,) and I have a feeling that, if this story continues, you're going to make her into a horrible person. If that happens, I'll have a hard time reading it, but once again, personal taste comes into play.
Again, work on punctuation (it's better than it was.), but other than that, I'd like to see a second chapter.
- Nessa
P.S. If you're going to flame my review, don't waste space here. E-mail me, or im me. It's preclaruslacuna@gmail.com, mer_de_maynard@hotmail.com, or preclaruslacuna on AIM.
The capitals through me off a bit, but that's a personal irritant of my own, and here, it really doesn't effect the story. Also, I know you don't like Ditta (although, I don't really understand why,) and I have a feeling that, if this story continues, you're going to make her into a horrible person. If that happens, I'll have a hard time reading it, but once again, personal taste comes into play.
Again, work on punctuation (it's better than it was.), but other than that, I'd like to see a second chapter.
- Nessa
P.S. If you're going to flame my review, don't waste space here. E-mail me, or im me. It's preclaruslacuna@gmail.com, mer_de_maynard@hotmail.com, or preclaruslacuna on AIM.