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for I'll Let You Lick the Lollipop

by Need2ScreamNow

person Jenn
schedule December 27, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Yup, this is awesome. But then again, anything you write is which I appreciate as a reader. :D Wouldn't mind a follow-up to this story, even if it doesn't involve Matt...
schedule October 29, 2010 at 12:00 AM
who was watching matt, though?
is there more to this, even if only a second part?!
schedule October 29, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Great work! Amazing detail, all focused on a Tootsie pop. Shall never look at those or *blow* pops in quite the same manner ever again. Thanks for sharing! PW
schedule October 29, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Oh nummy... I sorta wanna know who was watching... Maybe the ghost from your other piece? That would explain Matt not realizing he was there...
schedule October 25, 2010 at 12:00 AM
That's a pretty sweet little bit of voyeurism and a very descriptive expansion on the old "I wish I was that lollipop" line. Since it involved two men (one unnamed, and I don't know the band) there were a few awkward places where it took a few moments to figure out you were describing the mystery watcher instead of Matt... but to your defense you are trying to keep him a mystery without giving any hints. Here your options were limited to "On the couch" and "his watcher" and stuff like that. (I write lesbian two-, three- and moresomes, which can get tricky, but at least I can use more descriptors of physical differences or even personality traits.)

Even as a standalone piece it gets the mood and even the feeling of the lollipop itself just right. The "gravel road" line was a great simile for its fate.
person Maggot23
schedule October 25, 2010 at 12:00 AM
That was naughty, and not knowing who was watching Matt (could've been Johnny, Jimmy, Syn or Zacky. Who knows, and who cares?) made it even better. I won't look at lollipops the same way again.
Great work, as always :)

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