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Midnight Butterfly	By : Skwishee Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 6674 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
Edited by Tech Department February 12, 2007 for database corruption related errors.

Disclaimer: Dir en grey are god, but I have no affiliation with them and this IS FICTION. Don't sue me.

Note: This is my first Dir en grey fiction. Be nice, but give me REAL criticism none the less. I'll update as often as I can. There WILL be lemons in later chapters though I promise you, this is not PWP though so....be patient all you horny bastards. Incidentally, this is set during the Macabre era, right before the Final. I know they were on tour then but this is artistic license right? And besides Kyo was sick so...I have SOME excuses!! The tour final will be described later with my interpretations of course. Enjoy...I hope.

Kyo attempted to open his eyes slightly. One stubbornly stayed closed while the other fluttered unconsciously open and shut. He was so tired. The band had been recording a new album between Tour dates and he had barely seen a bed for over a week, he wondered to himself if he still remembered how they looked. Yes, he remembered now. They were warm, comfortable with soft sheets and pillows you could shove your face into and..."

His one open eye drifted slowly closed again at remembering 'Pillows. So fluffy and inviting.' Without warning his head fell sideways, landing on the glass of the car window with a low thump. This didn’t stir him in the least though, the cold temperature of the glass felt soothing against his sleep-deprived head and he sighed welcoming the sandman’s overdue visit. He sometimes wondered how the others functioned at all under this stress. He had screamed out lyrics for so long that his voice was getting slightly hoarse and in desperate need of a vacation. Toshiya wasn’t handling it much better, dark circles had started forming under his eyes and he took to wearing a pair of sunglasses as an extra appendage to save the others the ‘horror of looking at him without concealer. None of them could even hold their heavy instruments up properly anymore, much less push their brains into remembering the cords they were supposed to be hitting, and poor Shinya began to hate his drums with a passion. So every now and then someone messed up and they had to do a song ALL over. Of course the lives were much easier than being in the studio. There was the cheering audience to keep your attention and the music’s so loud you can feel it. Performing for fans was so enjoyable that by the time they hit the stage they were wide awake and practically exploding from newfound energy, which they exhausted by the end of the live. But it was all worth it.

All that led up to this night. Their first night off. Apparently the management took pity on them and sent them home for a much needed rest. They had first considered staying in a hotel, but Tokyo wasn’t too far away, only a few hours, and the thought of being back in their house again made them feel all warm and toasty inside. So they piled into the van and prepared for the drive home. They’d been on the road for a little over an hour, Kaoru at the wheel being kept awake by a caffeine induced rant from Die. Bottles of energy drinks and the discarded packages of various kinds of sugar-filled products littered the floor in the front seat. Some Twinkie wrappers crinkling and sliding into the back as they turned corners. Die was just about as wide-eyed as a person could get and practically foaming Twinkie cream from his mouth. There was enough sugar in his system to start a candy factory. But it was keeping both him and Kaoru awake. Kaoru because he had to listen to Die rant and ramble on about nothing, but found it so annoying that he couldn’t fall asleep. Which was a good thing. Unfortunately this massive sugar high had Die so out of it that he insisted on listening to Morning Musume. Kaoru just thanked his lucky stars they were almost home.

Toshiya awoke to an annoying crinkling sound. It’s not like he didn’t know what it was, he could smell the trace of sugar wafting through the van, he just wished Die wouldn’t throw wrappers around the car and tried to ignore the sound, after all he was tired and it wasn’t a big deal since he was usually such a heavy sleeper. He sighed and shifted his weight slightly to get comfortable and then.. * crinkle * Toshiya had enough. His eyes snapped open and he lunged at the floor board, desperately searching for the offending packaging. He heard it again and it was driving him mad. Finding the synthetic paper devil hiding under his seat he seized it in his hands, smiling at his victory. Die stopped in the middle of a joke and turned his head slowly, feeling uneasy. His eyes met with a horribly disheveled Toshiya, sunglasses half hanging off his head and hair coming loose from the ponytail it was secured in and his eyes went wider than they were, which is damn near impossible.
“T-Toshiya??" Die asked startled.

Toshiya merely glared daggers at the red-head and held up a piece of clear plastic wrapping. Die’s eyes moved down to the object and he made his confusion with the situation quite apparent. Toshiya smacked Die hard on the head and threw the plastic in his face.

“The next time you get the urge to inhale cheap pastries in my presence the least you could do is eat the god damned wrapper as well!!!!!" Toshiya stated flatly.

Die nodded slowly, aware that any words to come out of his mouth would get him into even more trouble with the bassist. But still, he knew Toshiya was just tired. He was normally friendly so he just picked up the wrappers from the floor and placed them into the glove box considerately. Toshiya gave a slight smile and slunk back into his seat, looking over at his other two backseat companions. Shinya was staring blankly out a window absorbed in the soft music that radiated from his headphones. It was barely audible but Toshiya figured he was just trying to tune out Die’s incessant chatter. Kyo was curled up near the opposite window, cheek pressed up against the glass and his mouth hanging open. It was an adorable sight, but the bassist had no strength left to put into glomping the smaller man so he settled for muttering a very low “kawaii" before leaning back to his former position between his two band mates.

* * * *

A half an hour later the van pulled slowly into the driveway of their house. Die’s sugar rush was winding down drastically and he had already begun slumping into a sleep-like daze. Kaoru sighed and turned the ignition off, smiling at the adorable sight of his drained companions in the back. He shook Die to snap him out of his current zombie-like state and pointed to the people behind him. Die nodded and yawned pushing open his door and stepping out into the cold air. Kaoru went around to open the van’s sliding door, pushing it to the side, unaware of the sleeping Kyo leaning all his weight against it. As soon as the door was clear out tumbled a sleepy blonde vocalist. Kyo never really woke up, just kind of hung out the side of the van, and held in place by a coat sleeve that had gotten caught in the side door when Kaoru opened it. His hair was sticking up on one side, flat on the other and half of his body dangled out of the side, his hand almost hitting the snow of the ground. Kaoru laughed to himself and untangled the small man before grabbing hold of him and gently pulling the latent vocalist out of the car.

Toshiya giggled as Kaoru tried to steady himself while still carrying Kyo AND trying to walk up the icy path to the door. Toshiya wondered what Kyo would do if he had no one around to look after him. Luckily though that wasn’t the case. Toshiya stepped out of the van and stretched, breathing in a nice amount of cool winter air. Shinya followed quietly rounding to the back where he helped Die and Toshiya unload all their assortments of bags and travel cases. Toshiya shut the door to the rear and locked up the car, turning and heading up the walkway, smiling to himself. They were finally home.
He silently trudged up to the door and entered. Die met him at the door smiling and took the two suitcases from his hands and brought them to stay in the other room. Toshiya shut and locked the door quietly and removed his coat and scarf, it was freezing outside and it was nice and warm in the house. Toshiya missed the house so much. Walking over to the couch he eased into a sitting position and rubbed the sides with his hands singing his praises to the comfortable piece of furniture, telling it how much he missed it. Shinya was busy getting himself a drink in the kitchen. Still shrouded under his headphones and oblivious to the world. Maybe that was because he was so tired that he felt he could snap at anybody and he knew who’d get the worst of it. For some reason when he was angry his target always seemed to be poor Die. He never really meant it to be that way it just was because Die was the one who would always ask him if he was ok or if he needed anything and when he was in bad spirits Die’s doting personality always seemed to wear thin on his nerves. It’s not that he didn’t like him or didn’t appreciate his concern, God no, He loved him and never took him for granted but sometimes Die treated him as a helpless girl, which he did not like one bit. But rather than say anything to Die that might jeopardize their relationship he just adopted silence as a cover and slunk into the background.

* * * * *

Kaoru gently placed his sleeping friend on his bed, careful not to wake him. Not like anything would short of a natural disaster, but nevertheless he didn’t want to risk breaking his peaceful slumber. He deserved it. They had all been working so hard and Kaoru knew that he should’ve asked for a break for them before it got this bad. They had gotten more than enough work done on the album and were weeks ahead of schedule but the responsible workaholic in him just wanted to keep pushing for an early release date. But he knew that while he could push himself all he wanted it was wrong of him to push the others. Still, they listened to him and did as he said and for that he felt a twinge of guilt sink into his heart. He glanced down at Kyo, his hair had fallen in his face, he looked so angelic. Lord knows he was a demon when he awoke but now... /'beautiful/' Kaoru quickly discarded the thought and removed Kyo’s jacket, laying it to rest across the back of a chair and pulled off his shoes, setting them on the floor with care. He thought for a moment if he should make him more comfortable by getting him down to a t-shirt and boxers but figured Kyo fell asleep in all sorts of odd ways so being clothed wouldn’t bother him in the least. He smiled again down at him, ruffling his blonde hair before saying a goodnight and pulling the covers over him. Then without another word he walked silently back to the living room closing Kyo’s bedroom door as he went.

Kaoru sauntered into the living room, tired and feeling a bit guilty. Toshiya was lounging comfortably on the couch, stretched out in all directions, smiling contentedly and seeing that lifted Kaoru’s spirits a little. Toshiya opened his eyes when he felt another weight on the couch. He smiled.

“It’s good to be home, ne, Kaoru?" Toshiya looked remarkably happier than he had ten minutes ago. Kaoru laughed and nodded.

“Hai. But..." He started

Toshiya’s smile dropped, looking quizzically at the guitarist. “But what?"

“We would’ve been home a lot earlier if I didn’t keep us all at the studio. I’m sorry I pushed you guys so hard." Guilty, yes, but genuinely sorry for it.

Toshiya just smiled again, forgetting the past week entirely. “It’s not a big deal. We’re home now... and we have the album almost completed. We got a lot done thanks to you."

“Totchi’s right," Die’s voice came from the hallway. He had already changed into his night clothes, a floppy shirt and shorts, and was drinking a cup of hot chocolate to calm himself. “We’re okay. No harm done and we got a ton finished. I’m just afraid that Kyo got the worst of it," he said, playing thoughtfully with a floating mini-marshmallow.

Kaoru looked up, his eyes alone questioning Die while he watched him play with his chocolate drink. "How so?"

Die took a sip. “Well, our instruments can’t get worn out you know, any time we want they’ll be there to play, ready and waiting. But Kyo... Kyo is his own instrument and none of us really paid any attention to that you know. We just asked that he sing and scream over and over again, his voice really sounded bad during Hydra, not really bad as in it sucked but Painful type bad. He needs a severe rest from all of this." He went back to his hot chocolate.

Toshiya nodded profusely. "I agree, we can all go back to the studio in a day or two and record our parts but I think we should leave Kyo alone for awhile, we have Lives coming up and he really doesn’t need all that stress on him."

Kaoru nodded as well, it made sense and they were right... it hurt him to say this but never, not even once did he really take Kyo into consideration. 'Have I been that blind? Maybe their right, a break would do him good... hell, it would do us all good.' Kaoru stood. “I agree, but I think all of us need to take a break. I propose two weeks. Our next live is three weeks from now, we should all be well rested by then and it’ll give me some time to compose more songs for the album, we still don’t have enough. So get some rest. I’m going to bed. Oyasumi."

The others nodded seriously, though secretly exceedingly happy at this declaration. Kaoru disappeared down the hallway, waving a tired goodnight to the other members. Die drank down the last of his drink and bid goodnight to Toshiya and pushed Shinya along down the hall as he went, soon they too disappeared into their room and Toshiya was left on the couch.

Toshiya sighed, yes it was definitely good to be home. And he was grateful that Kaoru agreed to drive the longs hours home instead of staying in a hotel. It wasn’t like staying in hotels was a bad thing, they were always nice and clean with all the stuff you needed and your friends were only a room away, same as home, but still... the whole atmosphere was different. Home was just... comfortable and...

His thoughts were cut off as he felt himself drifting off to sleep, hugging the side of the couch with warm satisfaction. He was too tired to fight and the big couch was just so cozy that he could do little to stop himself. He smiled slightly and quickly fell asleep with one last happy sigh.

* * * *

It was nearing 2:30 and Kaoru, tired though he was, just couldn’t fall asleep properly. The room, the bed... everything just
felt... naked to him. Like it was missing something but he never put any thought to it. Well, not until he rolled over and hit... nothing. He looked slightly puzzled with his eyes still closed, his hand pawing at the bed searching for his friend and companion. When he realized the sheets were still cool under his hand his eyes slowly eased open and he turned on a light, rubbing his eyes. He glanced at the clock, and then back at the bed, then at the clock, and the bed. This went on for a few moments before he tiredly pushed himself up and walked out of his bedroom. He wobbled into the living room, eyes almost closed and he wasn’t having much luck at walking straight. He hit almost every wall and corner in the hallway. When he entered the living room he opened his eyes fully and was relieved to find the bassist curled up sweetly on the leather couch. 'Oh, that has to be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!!!' he thought to himself. 'I hate to move him, but...' He leisurely approached the man and attempted to free his grip on the couch. Toshiya stirred a bit, rolling over to the side with a groan making it even more difficult for Kaoru to retrieve him. Kaoru stood up straight and sighed, staring down at the man. His eyes wandered over the couch and Toshiya, assessing the best way to get him from one room to the other without waking Toshiya or hurting himself in the process. Finally he got a hold of Toshiya’s upper body, pulling him up slightly, freeing his legs before slipping an arm underneath his legs better leverage. Finally, with a bit of struggling due to his exhaustion, he hoisted the bassist up and attempted to walk down the hallway and to the other room. The hallway was looking a bit longer than he had remembered it to be and Toshiya was leaning heavily on his sore muscles. He shifted his weight to get a better grip on Toshiya and proceeded as best he could down the endless hallway. When he was halfway there Toshiya moved himself yet again and threw his arms around Kaoru’s neck making Kaoru falter in his steps and fall backwards to hit the wall, his shoulder hitting the thermostat control. He winced a little at the collision but pushed himself back up and towards the bedroom. Finally he made it inside the room and made an effort to place Toshiya on the bed. However, this proved to be harder than previously imagined. Toshiya was holding on for dear life and Kaoru didn’t want to wake him. So he resigned himself to the idea that Toshiya was not going to let him go free so he merely maneuvered himself onto the bed, attached bassist and all and smiled at his victory. He had managed to get Toshiya from one room to the other without waking him or killing himself, suffering only a minor bruise on his shoulder, but it was a victory nonetheless. He was so proud. His head found the pillow once again and he figured he’d better claim it before Toshiya found it and proclaimed it softer than Kaoru and stole it. He was bad enough at stealing covers, but he was a pillow thief as well and Kaoru was just happy he had one for once. He smiled and closed his eyes, whispering an “Oyasumi" before finding his peace with the sandman as well.

* * * * * * * * *

Light filled the room. Which wasn’t unusual, it had become morning somewhere along the preceding hours. No, that wasn’t unusual, what was unusual however was that someone was awake. Still, that may not sound like much, but that person was Kyo. The Glowing LED’s of his alarm clock faintly reading out the numbers 9:03, ‘faintly' because the light from the window overpowered that of the clocks false light making the numbers fade. He had been awake for awhile now, staring blankly at the mirror opposite his bed. Pictures were stuck to it, held by tape, some slid in the bends between the glass and the black iron frame to hold them gently in place without damaging the photo. They were all of various things. Some of his sister, his parents, his childhood. But they didn’t matter much at the moment. His eyes were on the ones that took up the most space on the mirror, several larger photos of Dir en grey, some professionally done, others taken with a Polaroid at numerous pl the they had been, and some regular of them that crew members had taken during their tours. He smiled in their general direction, not caring if the pictures could see him smile or not. It didn’t matter. He ran his eyes over a few, one of the band at an after live party, they had a pie contest that night and Die had won. It made him laugh remembering that night. The picture had been taken before Die had a chance to wipe off the mounds of whip cream stuck to his face and he was making a goofy smile. Kyo snickered quietly to himself and let his eyes trail down the line of photographs. There were a few of the band in full makeup but his favorite was one of the ones they took on a day off during their last week off, which was a couple months ago now. They had all huddled on a tiny couch together, there was no room but no one cared. It was a fun photo-op. Toshiya and Shinya were staring blankly at Die who was perched on the top of the couch back with chopsticks stuck up his nose, they were all smiling. While Kaoru was shooting a peace sign and Kyo laid stretched out across all of their legs snoring comfortably away, Kaoru helping to hold him on the couch. It was Kyo’s favorite picture. He wasn’t really asleep, it was just for the shot, but he still noted how relaxed he looked with his friends. Even Shinya was smiling wide at the situation and that was a rare, but beautiful thing.

His eyes fell to one of Shinya and Die together. Die possessively hugging Shinya, who looked rather annoyed and embarrassed at the same time. Kyo thought for a moment, just how natural they looked together. The picture had been taken a few days after Die told Shinya how he felt. Kyo remembered that night well because Shinya had come crying to him.

Shinya had taken the confession roughly and it was a shock to the others as well, being that not a one of them ever suspected of Die as being anything but straight as a board. Then again, it was only assumed. No one ever bothered to ask him if he was or wasn’t. Shinya had cried for hours, completely mortified at the profession and came to Kyo for solace. Which he gave but he knew Shinya did love Die back and he had asked why Shinya was so scared and Shinya didn’t know. Eventually it had all worked out and Shinya calmed down and told Die how he felt and they had been together ever since. They certainly had a weird relationship, loving yes, but weird.

And then Toshiya and Kaoru. That had not been even close to a shock. Toshiya had found Kaoru attractive since day one and made no effort of hiding it. However it had taken Kaoru a considerable deal longer to realize his attraction to Toshiya. Thankfully when he did nothing was complicated and everything just sort of fell into place. But Kyo... Kyo was another story. It wasn’t like he never dated, he had been involved with numerous women and even some fan girls in the past but nothing serious, he just never really cared. He supposed it was all just something purely physical. For the most part he never even thought about it, the absence of a lover never had any affect on him. He had his friends for companionship and it was all he needed. But then... he’d crawl into his bed at night feeling cold and completely alone, knowing that his friends were just a rooms length away, but...

He could hear them talk at night. Die murmuring soft ‘aishiteru’s' as Shinya fell asleep, probably wrapped in his arms. Warm and happy.

Kyo turned to face away from the mirror and shoved his face back into a pillow. Drowning out his pitiful-ness. He hated when he got lonely and besides, he didn’t understand why he did anyway.

'Like it matters. I have all the company I’d ever need so I can’t say I’m really lonely. And it’s not like I do anything but sleep at night so why do I need something here with me anyway. It’s fucking stupid.'

Kyo tried to fall asleep, listening to himself rationalize in his head, but it only confused him. So he thought it best to put the thought out of his mind. Dark brown eyes wandered to the gleaming display of his clock.

'Nine fucking thirty???!!' He rubbed his eyes and did a double take. Again the numbers 9:30 glowed in a mellow red light before flashing 9:31.

'hmmm, I’ve always heard there were two nine o’clocks, but, I never thought I’d see it!! Amazing.' He snorted and rolled over, pulling the soft velour covers over his head.

'Well, that’s good. Now that I know it’s possible I won’t have to get up for it again.' He mused to himself before closing his eyes and wandering back into his frequently visited dream world. Nine thirty? Never again.

* * * * * * *

It was nearing noon, and Toshiya opened his eyes. He hadn’t slept this late in a long while and he was enjoying the feeling. Not even a stitch of guilt entering his well rested head. Nope, none. The band deserved every precious hour of uninterrupted sleep that they got and he was happy. It’s not like Kaoru had been a slave-driver or anything, far from it. Everyone understood the need to get things done and were only too happy to oblige him, but he really worked too hard. Way too hard in Toshiya’s opinion. But the O-esteemed leader person would never listen to them on the matter. Toshiya loved his job so it never really was a burden. Well, until his arms got so sore that he could barely lift his pretty “Eve" anymore and then he just had to say something. Anyway, that was all behind him now. They had somehow managed to get a TON of work done and Kaoru had given them a generous break and for that he was incredibly indebted. Toshiya paused, '...Speaking of Kaoru...' He had only just realized that he was laying draped over something... someone. He moved his head to look up at the person he had claimed in his sleep. Kaoru was still sleeping quietly, mouth slightly parted and small breaths escaping his lips. Toshiya smiled. 'He must’ve carried me. How kawaii!!! I should thank him.' Toshiya leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on Kaoru’s forehead, brushing away strands of purple hair from his serene face. Kaoru, feeling the contact, opened his eyes and smiled at his koi.

“What time is it?" yawned Kaoru, still taking his own sweet time waking up.

“Noon O three." smiled Toshiya. Kaoru smiled back, laughing at Toshiya’s made up number arrangement and sat up slightly. Toshiya made a face and protested in a long whine.

“Mou... don’t move!! I’m comfortable." The response to that was merely a chuckle and a roll of the eyes.

“And what would you do if I wasn’t here for you to be comfortable on? I’m not a bed you know."

Toshiya looked confused.

“Of course you are, don’t be ridiculous. And I’m sure I could find someone else, lots of people, who would jump at the chance to be my bed. Or wouldn’t mind very much at least, or complain nearly as much as you." Toshiya said with a wink.

Kaoru widened his eyes in mock distress.

“Like who? Screaming fan girls? They’d tear you to pieces even before you fell asleep."

Toshiya sat up in bed but thought a moment.

“Kyo-kun wouldn’t mind. He sleeps through anything and he looks so squishy too. Like a little teddy bear."

Kaoru started to laugh.

“I wouldn’t say that to his face, Totchi. That would be one psychotic teddy bear you’d have trying to beat you into a bloody pulp."

A deranged smile played across Toshiya’s lips as he imagined a little teddy bear with piercings and tattoos ripping things to shreds upon hearing the word ‘cute' Toshiya couldn’t help it.

“Kawaii" he squeaked out.

Kaoru rolled his eyes and collapsed backwards, giving up. No one could ever convince Toshiya to stop calling Kyo cute. It was for his own health really. And, even though Kyo was in fact extremely adorable, the rest of the band never dared to utter that word in his presence. Especially since March of 2000, there had been an ‘incident' in which Kyo was called ‘cute' by a crew member, who ended up with two black eyes and a nose that wouldn’t quite stay pointing towards the front of his face anymore. Needless to say the word was never uttered again in his presence. Sure, they all joked behind his back but never within Kyo’s hearing range.

Kaoru laughed to himself and climbed out from under the clingy bassist who made an audible sign of protest and hurled a pillow at his head.

“What!!??" Kaoru yelled, ducking just in the knick of time, avoiding the large plush object speeding towards his skull at an ungodly velocity. Toshiya would of made a great pitcher!!!

“I’m COLD!" Toshiya pouted and wrapped his arms around himself, trying to show Kaoru how much he suffered. “If you leave, I’ll get frostbitten! I’ll turn all icy blue and you’ll come back and find me frozen to death in your bed and it’ll be all your fault. Then I’ll haunt you and I will never let you have peace again!!"

Kaoru stood absolutely stunned. Toshiya had been hanging around Kyo too much, He was becoming eerily good at making up stories on the spot and what’s worse, if the story hadn’t been a physical impossibility being that the room was warm and toasty... almost hot, Kaoru would have believed him.

“Ne, Toshiya. You know blue has always been your color." Kaoru winked and laughed to himself, congratulating himself on the snappy comeback and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. He heard a loud thump on the back of the door. An object was hurled and he didn’t want to open the door to find out what. He laughed again and shook his head before moving to the living room. He yawned and stretched noticing that Die and Shinya were also awake. Die watching cartoons on the television, while inhaling a bowl of cereal. He glanced at the box near Die. Scratch that, a bowl of highly sugared cereal PLUS marshmallow shapes and he really didn’t even want to ask Die how many bowls he already gulped down, but by the look of the scene it had been a great deal more than one. He wondered how Die wasn’t six hundred pounds by now and needing a crane to lift his ass off the ground.

Shinya, on the other hand, was neatly seated at the kitchen table drinking a glass of orange juice and reading a magazine. It looked to be a new music magazine, most likely containing the latest standings of the Oricon charts. Kaoru thought it wise not to bother Shinya while he was engulfed in his latest statistics and musical findings so he headed over to the couch.

Die didn’t even look up when Kaoru sat down next to him, watching him vacuum in every sugary bit of his cereal. He wondered if it ever had a chance to get even halfway soggy before being consumed greedily by his hungry friend. Die sipped back the last of the cereal and ravenously drank down the last of the artificially sweetened milk before slamming the bowl down on the coffee table and proclaiming himself full. Die noticed he was being watched and turned to face the purple-haired mad man who was just leering at him in disgust and/or amazement. Die smiled and offered the box to his band leader making a genki puppy face.

“Want some?" Die offered sweetly. Shaking the almost empty box in front of Kaoru’s face.

Kaoru’s eyes were wide and he looked positively stunned.

“Iie. I’d be surprised to find any left after the human Hoover got a hold of it. You eat it like it’s going to jump out of the bowl and run away."

Die merely laughed and set the box down. “Can’t help it. A guy needs to eat. By the way..." Die looked around as if searching for something. Kaoru tensed under the scrutiny of Die’s eyes.

“Where’s that little blue kitten that’s usually following you?" he asked grinning as wide as one can.

Kaoru blushed a bit. 'Kitten??!! As if, he’s a hungry lion ready to pounce on you at any given moment. Not that it’s a bad thing...'

“Kitten??" he asked shyly.

Die nodded. “Well he DOES purr, I’ve heard him. He’s got a little motor in that body somewhere." Kaoru giggled again.

“Freezing to death" he answered at long last.

Kaoru’s face was now stoic, unresponsive. Die didn’t know what to make of it. His statement had been so matter of fact.

“Freezing to death?" Die repeated.

Kaoru looked up again, slight smirk this time.

“Or so he tells me."

Die smiled perversely.

“And did he say this in-between purrs?" he chortled like a kid.

Suddenly, Die’s face met with something soft, well, as soft as something can be traveling at top speeds.

“I do not PURR!" came a stern voice from the hallway. Toshiya was standing in the hall looking well rested and ready to pounce. “And how would YOU know anyway?" he added, tossing back his hair and wiggling his hips as he walked up to Die. Toshiya held his hand up to Die’s face carefully holding his chin up to look at him. “Not that you ever will you know." He smiled and kissed Die on the forehead before smiling and heading toward the kitchen for some breakfast.

Die sat in total amazement. Toshiya did things like that all the time but he was just so kawaii, it was hard to keep a straight face... or not enjoy it secretly. And Shinya never minded the flirting. He knew where his friends stood and never worried, so no harm ever came from it. Toshiya was about to rummage through the cabinets for anything remotely edible when he noticed that someone had already cooked a healthy breakfast, eggs and sausage. He wandered dreamily over to the pans resting on the stove and leaned into their warmness. “Ne, Shinya-kun? Did you make breakfast." Shinya only nodded and waved his hand for Toshiya to eat his fill and Toshiya dove at it like a scavenging bird. Having apprehended a piece of sausage and a plate full of scrambled eggs he realized something.

“Ne, where’s Kyo-kun?" Not that he had to wonder much. He knew he was still curled in his bed, but he had expected the little akuma to have detected the faint smell of food and sleepwalked his way into the kitchen. But... no Kyo. He pouted.

“Sleeping I’d imagine." Kaoru replied. “I suppose it is time for him to be up. I’ll get him" He said, pushing himself off the couch and wandering down the hall to Kyo’s bedroom. He knocked a few times on the door for discretion and then opened it quietly. There lay a little blonde fuzz ball in all his glory. Limbs spread amply across the bed in all directions. His hair was sticking straight up, defying all laws of gravity. ' Kawaii, ne?' But the words were never spoken. No, Kaoru would never. He leaned over Kyo, shaking him. It wasn’t working. He sat down on the bed after a few more tries and sighed, blowing the hair out of his eyes. Kyo really was beautiful when he slept, undeniably so. But he was Kyo. So somehow that never meant much to him.

“Beautiful" Kaoru had not even realized he spoke the word aloud. He was just staring down admiring his cute friend. Studying his details so he wouldn’t forget them. Kaoru smiled and brushed Kyo’s hair down, fixing it a little.

Kyo was awake. He had been for several minutes now, since Kaoru shook him. And he was confused, as he often was when he was just waking up, but more so because of this strange word he heard his friend say.

'Beautiful?' Kyo blinked a few times, as if trying to remember the definition of this new word. 'Me? No, he was talking about something else I’m sure.' But still, for some reason that word had made a small impression in Kyo’s mind. Kaoru shook the small man again and this time Kyo acknowledged his presence and stirred from his daydream.

“It’s about time you joined the living. Shinya made breakfast." Kaoru declared in a muted voice.

'Shinya? Breakfast?' Words still weren’t registering properly in his mind, all but one. And his thinking was muddled. He had dreamed... he had dreamt he was lying in someone’s arms. Though he did not know whose, nor had he cared. They were just there, and he was appreciative. They helped him to sleep, it didn’t mean much to him beyond that. He was warm and he slept and he was happy for that.

“Kaoru... Ohayo," said Kyo, slowly slinking out from the covers, back into the cooler air. He shivered a bit and hugged himself. “Samui" he mumbled quietly.

Honestly it wasn’t cold at all, but it was always that way when you first wake up. Kaoru noted that Kyo too comned ned about the coldness when there was no cold. But the thought was quickly forgotten as he decided he should tell Kyo of their new vacation.
“Kaoru-kun? When are we going back?" Kyo asked, looking a little bit like he knew he wouldn’t like the answer.

Kaoru smiled kindly. “Not for awhile Kyo. I think we all need a vacation." Kyo nodded hopefully. “So, how’s two weeks sound to you?" Kyo face brightened up and he smiled. “Heh, it sounds fucking awesome." He paused realizing it could be just a joke.

“Do you really mean it? Two weeks home?" It might not sound like much for some people, two boring weeks at home but it was all Kyo wanted. He love performing more than he loved breathing, but he needed the relaxation just for awhile and then he would go back to doing what he loved, no questions asked and no problems. Still, he hated taking breaks. Breaks meant disappointed fans, but they had no lives coming for three weeks and he wanted it so bad. His fans would understand. They always did, in fact they usually received numerous fan mails asking them to please take a break and rest.

Kaoru nodded happily. “Two weeks. Is that ok?" Kyo leapt at the older man hugging him tightly, Kaoru instinctively hugged him back. “It’s a god damned dream Kaoru!! Arigatou!"

Kaoru chuckled. “Don’t thank me, thank Totchi and Die. They were worried about you."

About him? Well, why wouldn’t they be, after all, they were all best friends. Kyo nodded sheepishly and smiled, but somehow felt disappointed that it wasn’t Kaoru who had initially thought of it. Was he not worried? No Kaoru was never worried.

Kyo released his friend and followed him into the living room, smelling breakfast as soon as hit the carpet of the well decorated space. Kyo blindly followed the scent into the Kitchen in sluggish motions. He eventually hit something. It was tall and warm and comfortable and it made him want to sleep again. His eyes drifted closed again as he stood there, leaning against this object.

Toshiya felt something bump into him and snapped his head to glance over his shoulders and down. There was Kyo-kun, face shoved in between Toshiya’s shoulder blades making soft snoring sounds. Toshiya bit his lip, it was so exceptionally adorable that he had to keep from squealing out in a celebration of cuteness. Toshiya froze completely still, trying his best not to make any sudden moves. Kaoru and Die peeked over the archways in the wall adorning the kitchen, smiling at this little scene and sniggering as Toshiya tried his best impression of a statue. Toshiya held a finger to his lips, signally to the others to be quiet but then. Kyo made a noise. This cute little noise. It was almost a mewl actually and if anyone was a kitten it would’ve been him at the moment. Silence followed and they all stood, wondering if they really heard this cute little sound from Kyo’s gruff voice. And then it happened again. Kyo let out a soft but audible mewl and Toshiya snapped. He spun around at record speeds and grabbed the small man hugging him in a death grip. Kyo’s eyes practically popped out of his head as he was squeezed by the lanky man, Toshiya forcing every bit of air out of Kyo’s body and if Kyo didn’t know better he’d swear this was all an attempt on his life.

“Oi! Totchi... give ME back!!" Kyo choked out his words, but just barely. The bassist may have been skinny but damn was he strong!

Toshiya, realizing his will power had taken a drastic fall at that sound, reluctantly released the petite blonde. Kyo too was only a bit hesitant at being let go. And if it wasn’t for his insatiable need to breathe he would’ve comfortably resigned himself to being Toshiya’s teddy bear of the moment. He was still tired and cold. But the ‘scary' little man inside him had a reputation to maintain and he had to demand to be let go. He knew it was useless to keep being standoffish around his band mates, they knew how sweet he was but still he attempted to maintain a somewhat powerful name for himself, a defense mechanism if nothing else. Everyone else had some character trait to hide behind when they felt uneasy and he was no different. Shinya had his silence and mystery, Toshiya had his sensuality, Die his jokes, and Kaoru his stoic responsibilities. He’d bury himself in work. Kyo had cusswords. Kyo had lies. He was the best damned liar on earth, though if he wasn’t even trying to be serious his lies were easily detected, but when he was serious, he could fool even his closest friends. Well, all but Kaoru. Somehow he knew, he always knew if Kyo wasn’t telling the truth and he always felt hurt for it. Hurt that Kyo felt he had to lie to him. Still, it was just a means of protection for Kyo’s emotions and Kaoru respected his need for privacy well enough. And it was no easy feat keeping privacy in a house full of close friends, so he had to congratulate Kyo on getting this far without being read. And just when Kyo was calming down slightly...

“Ne, Kyo-chan," the blue haired man started. Kyo’s eyes went wide.

“N- Nani? What was that?! I did NOT hear that." His eyes were furious but he was keeping his temper remarkably well.

'I can’t get too mad, he does it to everyone, not just me. Like a tall skinny cute magnet.' Kyo calmed down and laughed when Toshiya’s expression became worried and a bit scared. Toshiya made an attempt to apologize but Kyo shrugged it off, now distracted by the smell of food wafting through the air. His attention span was almost non-existent some times.

* * * * * * *

8:13 pm

The day had gone by slower than they would have thought. Everyone was so used to having something to do that sitting at home was just almost unbearable. Not that they wanted to go back to work straight away, but a bit of fun was required. And they had all spent about an hour trying to decide what it is they could all do to keep from dying of extreme boredom.
"Why don't we go out for a drink tonight?" Kaoru suggested thoughtfully. "Maybe hit some clubs..."

The others turned to look at Kaoru. Die grinning widely at the mention of clubbing and alcohol.

“Actually, that's not a bad idea. I'm game!" voiced Toshiya from his place on the couch.

"Hai, me too," said Die, eagerly agreeing to anything involving booze. “An excuse for you to dress up, ne Totchi?" Toshiya giggled and nodded, affirming Die's statement before turning to Shinya.

“You coming Shin-chan?"

Shinya glanced up from his book he had been reading most of the day and his eyes were getting very tired. But it wasn't like there was much else to do. He didn't watch much television and Die had been busy playing videogames with Kyo all day. And besides it's not like Die would've been great company if he tore him away from his precious Tekken competition so he had resigned himself to reading a book. Trying to regain all those brain cells lost during the past week. And now they wanted to drag him out so he could lose more. Well, what could it hurt. He shrugged and nodded.

"Why not," he replied. "Could be fun..." 'At least there’ll be alcohol.'

Toshiya clapped his hands in victory before slinking off the couch and to the oversized recliner in which lay a very plush looking vocalist, who was occupied, currently counting the little dots on the ceiling. 'Why do ceilings have dots anyway? It's not like they're useful.' Kyo mused to himself.

"Kyooooooo"

The vocalist blinked and looked at the bassist who was about 2 inches from him and hanging over the sides of the chair's armrest.

"Nani?" he stated, blinking once or twice, at a pace that was unusually slow for any human, but not for Kyo. He had been dubbed, long ago, the 'slowest blinker in the world' and they had proof!! He had made it clear for the first time during the filming of ‘I'll' and they had all watched him closely after that and he did indeed blink at an unbelievably slow rate. It was only further proven while filming '04' but that was after they had given him the title.

"Will you come with us?" Toshiya prodded, giving the vocalist puppy eyes.

How could he resist that face?? Kyo had no idea 'where' Toshiya was asking him to go, but the others were going and anything was better than counting useless ceiling dots.

“Eto..." it didn't take long for him to decide.

"Ii wa!" the short man nodded affirmatively.

Kaoru smiled and clapped.

"Sugoi! We'll make a night of it then, We'll leave in an hour, be ready by then."

Everyone nodded. "PLEASE!" he added turning in Toshiya's general direction. Toshiya put his hand up to his head shyly and nodded, blushing a bit. He really didn't take THAT long, but compared to the others he took forever. Shinya was the only other one who usually got remotely dressed up, but figured after having mounds of makeup on his face the last few months wouldn’t feel much like dressing up tonight. However, it wasn't in Toshiya not to go all out and make himself enjoyable to look at so he quickly scampered off to the bathroom to clean himself while everyone scattered toward their respective rooms to find something appropriate to wear.

* * * * * * * * * *

Kyo wandered down the hallway, heading for the bathroom. Well, one of them at least. They had two, but Die and Kaoru were both in there making themselves presentable and there was no more room!! Kaoru drying his hair and Die brushing his teeth. Which reminded Kyo that he should do the same, his mouth was beginning to taste kind of weird anyway, he had ate a ton of weird things today and he imagined them all mixing together would not make his breath smell great in the least. He unconsciously stuck his tongue out at the thought and sauntered toward his destination.

The bathroom door was closed and he heard the water running. Someone was probably taking a shower, but it wasn’t like that would bother him. It never had before. They all went to public bathhouses many times and no one felt uncomfortable around each other. So he politely knocked at the door. A muffled voice greeted him.

“Hmmm, what is it?"

It was Toshiya. He had probably been in there far too long anyway, he’d stay in the shower till he was a walking prune. Kyo laughed at the thought of a wrinkled Totchi and responded.

“Totchi, it’s me. Can I come in I’ve got to brush my teeth and your boyfriend has taken over the other bathroom." Kyo heard a soft laugh on the other side of the door.

“Yeah, come on in." Kyo turned the knob and pushed the door open. Of course! It was foggy as all hell!!! Totchi always depleted all the hot water in the house. He practically scalded himself in the shower and he always came out bright red. Not to mention that his usual showers were over a half hour long. Well, Kyo decided it was a good thing that he wasn’t fixing his hair tonight or else the heat would’ve made his hair fall flat. Which wasn’t a big deal cause he had decided not to bother with it earlier. He had dressed up enough for awhile. But he still needed to see in the mirror!! He had to clean and sterilize his various piercings and it was hard to see where they went with no mirror. He could barely see the sink. He turned the water on and picked up his toothbrush, coating it with some mint flavored toothpaste and proceeded to go about his business.

Toshiya started singing. Kyo really didn’t mind, after all Totchi had a fairly good voice, but he would’ve preferred something else besides Gackt’s ‘Vanilla' Kyo rolled his eyes and turned back to the sink, spitting out before shoving the toothbrush back into his mouth for a second once over.

He heard the water stop as well as Toshiya’s singing. The mirror was slowly getting clearer as well, the steam fading very slowly. It was almost sauna like in the room. Toshiya stepped out flicking his rolled up towel at the little man. Kyo almost hit the mirror, it would of hurt!! Toshiya giggled.

Kyo spun around to yell at the bassist, who he figured was covered with another towel, but his eyes met with one naked bishounen. Not that it would have even phased him usually but for some reason, he damn near choked on his toothbrush.

Toshiya giggled again when he saw Kyo gag on his toothbrush. “Daijoubu Kyo-kun?" Toshiya was getting a little worried when Kyo merely started coughing and turned to hack up toothpaste in the sink. Kyo nodded profusely, not wanting to Toshiya to see the blush on his face. “Daijoubu!!!" he choked out between coughs. Why was he even acting this way?? He’d seen Totchi naked a hundred times, they did costume changes and everything in each other’s presence. Hell, Totchi had seen HIM naked and he didn’t care. Kyo turned on the sink and stuck his head near it, drinking a bit of water from the tap to help his coughing.

'Oh, this is great.' Kyo thought to himself. 'You just get back and already you tried to kill yourself with a fucking toothbrush!! And to top that off you pick the night you have to hang around with everyone to go completely insane. Great move Kyo.'

Toshiya was standing stunned. Kyo certainly wasn’t acting like himself lately. The past week he’d been reserved and rather depressive looking. He even thought he had heard him crying the other night in the hotel room they shared. In all fairness to Kyo, it had been dark and they did have a box fan going, but he could’ve sworn that Kyo cried himself to sleep. He had been more than a bit worried as the days progressed, but tonight. Tonight Kyo had been acting particularly weird. To start with, this morning Kyo had woken up early, which had never ever happened before . Toshiya always thought Hell would freeze over before Kyo saw anything before the afternoon hours. Toshiya knew because he had got up around nine for a bathroom break and hear him mumbling in his room, but disregarded it and went back to bed. Then he had seemed reluctant for Toshiya to let him go earlier when Totchi’s glomping instincts took over his brain, and even though he yelled to be let go, Kyo still clung on. That was certainly weird, to say the least. Kyo had also spaced out most of the day, refusing to help play “Find the puppy" when they tried to give Miyu-chan his monthly heartworm medication. Miyu always hid, hating the medicine, and it was always Kyo that found him. Kyo was the best damned “puppy hunter" in the world, he was small enough to fit in Miyu’s favorite hiding places and he never missed it. Usually requesting for Shinya to hold off giving Miyu his meds till after Kyo came home. But today he outright refused. It almost broke Toshiya’s heart. And it had been Die who fed his two pet Kangaroo rats, Puchi and Buchi, earlier. Kyo had forgotten... and it wasn’t the first time. He was genuinely happy when Kyo had agreed to come out with them tonight, but now this. He was acting so weird.

“Are you sure you’re okay?" Toshiya prodded once more. Concern spread across his face.

Kyo nodded. “I’m fine Totchi. Why?" Kyo was now cleaning his piercings, making sure they didn’t get infected as was instructed to him when he had gotten them done during the tour.

Toshiya draped himself over Kyo’s shoulders, making Kyo blush again. “It’s just that you’ve been so out of it lately. I’m worried."

Kyo forced a smile as best he could. “Really, I’m ok. But thanks for being worried." 'Now get your pretty ass back in some clothes!!!!!!!!!!!!!' “I promise I’ll tell you if something’s wrong. You’ll be the first." He lied through his teeth!! And this time he actually felt bad for it.

Toshiya nodded slightly. "Alright. Now finish cleaning those awful face staples and get ready. I promise you we’re all going to have fun tonight. It’s been nothing but work for months, this’ll be great!!" Toshiya swatted Kyo on the behind and streaked out the door and into his room as fast as he could, still dripping wet and naked as a jay bird. 'Does he even know what a towel is!!??'

Kyo looked up to the mirror, adjusting the last piercing in place. This would be one interesting night.

* * * * * * * * * *

11:37 pm

Sounds filled the room. Coming from everywhere, every direction. Music, talking, the clinking of glasses, the thump of feet on the dance floor. So loud. He should’ve been used to it by now. Sound. It was something that he couldn’t ever live without, something that meant the world to him, but the lives, the lives were different from this. The audience was quiet. No intermingling sounds, no confusion. He did not like this place at all, it was noisy and reeked of alcohol, not to mention dugs that were probably illegal, scratch that, definitely illegal. He stuck his hand in his pocket, feeling for the cold metal of his lighter. Not there. Other pocket... Yes! He lifted it out of his pocket and lit a cigarette. Shinya made a face. ' I’m sorry Shinya!! I know how you feel, just one. Please don’t look at me like that.' He looked down, avoiding the drummers half worried/ half pissed look he was throwing out and stared down at his lighter. It was black and was marked with the X Japan logo. Yeah he was an X fan, so what. He had gotten it awhile back, it was a present... from Kaoru. It was simple really but he loved it, was never without it. And it wasn’t for the fact that he needed it for lighting up, somehow he felt he just needed it. If he didn’t use it at all for the rest of his life it just had to be in his pocket. And it always was, what hell he’d go through if he ever lost it. He smiled to himself and dropped it back into the safe recesses of his deep coat pocket and patted it reassuringly. He wasn’t feeling any better though. The music was too loud and obnoxious. His ears were hurting, just a little, like a minor headache. He knew he shouldn't of agreed to this so soon after his operation. But They wouldn’t be here much longer. They’d move on to another place for food and drink... right? He was hungry as well. None of them ate before leaving the house and upon remembering this he mentally cursed, knowing that not eating before drinking made the alcohol more potent and almost deadening.

He didn’t have to worry, he wasn’t drinking. He hated alcohol! The last time it had collided with his system he ended up sick for a week, he just skipped right past the whole drunk stage and went straight to the ‘hugging-the-toilet-for-moral-support' stage, which he remembered in all it’s sickeningly gruesome detail. His friends had been drinking for the past few hours, taking breaks for dancing and Shinya hit the bathroom every five minutes. 'So that’s where it all goes with him. He just lets it all out and comes back to fill up again.' He laughed to himself. Shinya was a stoic bottomless pit, that was certain. Toshiya... Toshiya was already wasted. It only took about 4 to get him drunk but he had 2 beers, 2 strawberry margaritas and 2 jell-o shots that Kaoru brought and he stole. He wasn’t fit to talk to at this point, and would be hell to deal with in the morning. Kaoru was sitting back comfortably, Toshiya in his lap. And if Kaoru hadn’t been semi-trashed as well he would’ve stopped playing with the bassist and would’ve been worrying about what he would have to deal with in the morning. He really wished Kaoru would ration out Toshiya’s drinks a bit more. It wasn’t like Toshiya didn’t know what he was doing when he was drunk. He did, don’t let him fool you. It was just that he really didn’t care.

And Die. Die was holding up almost as well as Shinya. While Die drank quite a lot, he had the second best alcohol tolerance in the band and was remotely sober. Enough to think rationally at least. He wanted to just walk away. From this horrible sound, these smells, but his friends. He couldn’t leave them so he’d wait.

“Ne, Kyo-kun, why so quiet?" Shinya asked after he had come back to his seat after yet another bathroom break. Terachi Shinya, the fastest pisser in the East.

“hmmm?" Kyo could barely hear over the noise, but understood the question. “I’m fine, just not into this whole atmosphere tonight. Sorry guys. I should’ve stayed home." He bowed his head again, not wanting to look anyone in the eye.

“Ah! You’re fine! Why don’t you dance? That aught to get you more active" Die offered enthusiastically.

Before Kyo objected to the idea he was grabbed and drug out to the dance floor by one very wobbly bassist.

“Totchi! Yamete! I don’t dance!" Kyo protested

“You do too!! On stage all the time! I watch you. You know those cute little..." his voice trailed off as he imitated Kyo’s moves on stage. Beat for beat. Kyo rolled his eyes.

“That’s different!"

“No it’s not!! Quit being a baby, I’ll show you." Toshiya grabbed the small man by the waist and began to move his hips for him. Kyo sighed and swayed along, feeling utterly stupid. He wondered briefly if he could just find a fork and stab the bassist for making him do this. Would anybody notice? Of course. Toshiya would make quite a show and Kyo would inevitably get in trouble. He just gave in and let Totchi move him any way he wanted. His eyes wandered over to their table. Good, none of the others were watching this pathetic display unfold. He would never live it down. Toshiya pulled him in closer for a warm embrace, still swaying to the beat, oblivious to the world. Kyo didn’t mind. At least he felt somewhat safer from the detestable stares of the people surrounding him on the floor. At least Totchi blocked him from that. It was good Toshiya was so tall, everyone would be staring at him. Not leering at the little thing in his arms. Good, he was tall... and beautiful. Kyo wasn't ashamed to say that, he didn’t think anyone in their right mind would. And why not? Toshiya was beautiful! So was Shinya! Hell, all of his band was nice to look at. Being a guy didn’t mean he couldn’t acknowledge all beauty, did it? And if there was one thing Kyo valued amongst everything else it was beauty. And his band was loaded with it. Not so much on the outside as on the inside. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them. That sentence made him shudder when Toshiya’s hand began caressing his back in leisurely motions. Kyo looked up slightly. Toshiya had his eyes closed, swaying and humming to the music. Kyo accepted the fact that Toshiya was in huggy-glomping mode and leaned his head on his shoulder.

“Kyo?" Toshiya’s voice was barely audible.

Kyo looked up seeing Toshiya staring off into space, still wandering aimlessly to the composition blaring over the speakers. He was off beat by about 3 seconds.

“Nani?"

Toshiya never looked at him. “Why did you cry?"

Kyo threw his head up, nearly hitting the bassist square in the jaw. He was glad he didn’t. “Toshiya what are you talking about?"

'When did I cry?'

“The hotel." He managed. “You cried in the hotel."

“Totchi, I never" Toshiya stopped him. 'No. I never...'

“I pretended I didn’t hear you. I even had myself convinced, but I remember now. You cried yourself to sleep."

Kyo didn’t respond.

“I stayed up with you." Drinking always made Toshiya remember. He got so wrapped up with work that he sometimes forgot things ever happened. Small things. Some not so small.

No response.

Constantly moving. Moving... without motion.

End chapter one
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Midnight Butterfly