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Mike's Confessions	By : TokioAngel Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Linkin Park Views: 2008 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Linkin Park. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Mike's Confessions
- 1
Mike’s Confessions

“Sigh. Don’t even know were to begin. It just sort of happened, took me by surprise. For a while I was messed up in the head, such confusion! Never thought I could be this fucked up because of another dude. Why would I have been, you know? It’s not like I planned for all of this to happen, shit no that was the farthest thing on my mind. Yet when it did happen, I surrendered myself completely to feeling and reason didn’t count for anything.

Would I have been told that I would be having a relationship (of the romantic kind) with Chester a year ago I would have laughed it off and thought the person who told me to be out of his/her mind.

I mean…its bad enough that I’m having a relationship with another man, but other than that were also close friends and fellow band members. Ok, ok I admit it; I’ve always thought Chester to be good looking, most people know that already, but I never knew how much I had repressed. How much I wanted him- in a sexual way. Never knew, and probably never would have if it hadn’t been for that night we’d shared that kiss. That started everything. Man, that was an intensifying kiss; I’ve never kissed ANYONE the way I kissed Chester on that hot summer night. Since then I’ve thought of Chaz to be one of the most highly sensual creatures on earth. Thoughts of him always on my mind, I live him, breathe him, like I live and breathe music- and he’s just like music. Addictive.

The man drives me crazy; he’s made me do some weird shit since we started with our little sexual escapades. He drives me crazy, and at times I’m scared of him- at the same time that I feel so comfortable in his rather demanding presence. Can’t help the way I feel, and I can’t help the way I am when around him.
But no, no I can’t keep doing this to Anna, this is wrong, even though it feels so right. But there’s always that voice that reminds me of his, that is telling me its okay. It’s okay to give in, just one more time ‘cause after all ‘what your girlfriend doesn’t know won’t hurt her’. Constant battle within myself and its begun to affect my song writing.
Thoughts of how good it feels brings out the beautiful melodies, the guilt that grows inside my heart is reflected in my lyrics. I’m not really sure how Chaz feels about the whole guilt thing; he seems to have no remorse whatsoever.

Yet one time when I accidentally mentioned his wife he sort of just kept staring at the ground keeping his dark eyes focused on a spot, then looked really sad and hurt like a child would look at a parent who just struck it. I apologized immediately but he just mumbled something about it being ok and then I couldn’t figure the rest out.

After that he’s seemed to accept the fact that our relationship is going to happen even though he still loves his wife and even though he knows it’s something that’s beyond any other love we’ve had before.

But no one can know, not even our best friends in the band know about us being together. Hell, I don’t even think they’d suspect it in a million years, because we’re just like we always are around the guys. Well, that hurts if not everything else, not to be able to tell your friends who you tell pretty much everything to. Joe, Phoenix, Brad, Rob, - they’re oblivious to this strange yet awesome “thing”.

Oh, no I hope I don’t come across as a desperate, tormented love-sick fool. But I have to let out what’s been on my mind and weighing on my heart somewhere, here I can say what I feel and what’s been done, word by word. So here I’m gonna spill…almost every word of it.
It started with the kiss:

About a year ago all of us in the band were at a friend’s party, with most of the guys we grew up with and lived near to us, some people from incubus and hoobastank and so on…
I was talking to this friend I hadn’t met in two years or so and was interrupted when Joe asked me if anyone’s seen Chester. Someone hollering from the kitchen-area, answered that he was sitting on the porch moping or something. So I went outside to see if the guy was alright. His bright eyes looking up at me in wonder when I sat down beside him. “Something wrong?” I asked him casually. “Naw, man” he said and shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just taking a breather”
“Oh, alright, someone said you might be upset or something”
“Nope, just tired” he said. But I knew he was holding something in- the way only very close friends can know and it was racing in his mind right this moment. Wished I could read minds for a sec then I double checked that everything was alright. “You sure?”
“It’s nothing…” he said looking less convinced than last time. I raised an eyebrow in suspicion and continued questioning him until he gave in, and that started the deepest conversation I’ve ever had. I learned a whole new side to Chester that I’d never seen before. That side was so…appealing to me somehow and I listened as he talked it all out, something he wasn’t so used to doing. Singing it out, yes, writing and screaming and even crying it out, but never just talking calmly and poignantly as if his life depended on the words. Maybe it did.

All the while I got mentally closer to him the air was hot- one of the warmest summers in Californian history and the night did its seductive tricks. His naked arms covered only by tattoos were all glossy from sweat. Noticed his black tank top suited him very well. Suddenly he grabbed my shoulder and turned to face me, which he really hadn’t done before. His deep dark brown eyes full of pain looked straight into mine. It was like he’d caught me off guard and could now peer into my soul. It sent shivers down my spine- of the good kind and the touch of his hand which was a natural act for what he was going to say was having another not-so-typical effect on my body.

“Thanks Mike for listening, and trying to help me out.” I nodded and bit my lower lip trying not to let any of my thoughts escape out my mouth. Chester’s eyes were drawn to my thick lips which were reddened now because of the biting. Eyes dragged themselves up to my eyes again. The air was thickening with tension and I could feel myself getting uncontrollably harder. Just sort of sat there-him and I staring at each other. “You’re a really good friend just so you know. The best actually.” He’d said hoping for me to stop the staring contest and for himself to stop being so obvious about the new way he saw me. And was still seeing. Inevitably our faces drew closer and closer breathing heavier, joining our perfectly moistened lips created by the heat. Kissed tenderly at first, just the lips touching, I could feel everything about those kisses, the surprising softness of Chester’s lips the quivering they did as he kissed me with emotion, I could feel that kiss with every fibre of my being. Then came the entangling tongues – I realized Chaz was kind of good at this. He could definitely write a book about it, hell he should give classes to everyone in the world!
The kissing intensified and we forgot all time and place as the hunger just grew; I had my hands on his face and hair by now. And he had his on my back and round my waist. But before anything could evolve from there someone broke something in the kitchen, and people started clapping their hands and yelling. Chaz and I broke all contact and sat the way we had when I‘d just come down to talk to him.

Rob peaked out to call for me, but Chester was the one who went inside and I was stuck to that small stair pondering ´What the hell just happened?` After that everything changed, but both of us tried to act as if it never happened. But the look he’d given me after we broke the kiss: priceless. So vulnerable, so strong so knowing he wanted to do just what we did. I knew by that look that I wasn’t the only one who actually felt something (not sprung from the loins). We never even talked about the kiss because there simply was no need for words. We both understood what we’d done and how it came to be- and we both knew it was wrong because it could be considered cheating by his wife and my girlfriend.

The other guys in the band didn’t even seem to notice we were all dodgy and on non-speaking terms. Maybe they figured it was just a little fight we’d had that we were all quiet and avoiding eye-contact, and figured we’d resolve it quickly, which we did. Just a week after the ´incident` he started joking around with me, and I was so relieved that we could at that point move past it without any heavy talk-out sessions. So for two weeks or so everything was as usual as it had been before the kiss-thing happened. Then, we went on tour.

So we got to the city were the band and I were supposed to do this little mini-concert and a meet-and-greet with the local fans. Everybody was getting prepped for the concert and Chaz was getting all worked up- adrenaline pumping I could see it by the way he gestured wildly and kept running around like a madman. That show was one of the best we ever did and it was also when I realized how fucking erotic Chester could be. Walking around on the stage as if he owned it, all wet positively gleaming with hot-looking sweat. Caught myself looking at the droplets running down from the side of his face, to the neck and down onto his seductive tattoos. Oh and when he decided it was too hot he took off his usual tank top and bared a slim but toned six-pack. That got me really hot, almost got a boner. And one of those I did not need now with the on-going concert and everything. Our voices melted together as we sang and I thought ´damn we sound good`. My dark fast paced voice to his long-toned and husky, rock-star one. Holy crap that was also very very hot.
No, this wouldn’t do I thought. So I concentrated on the concert.

After the show everybody were beat, everybody except me and Chester went to the small town’s McDonald’s to get some food.
Chester got himself all cleaned up and fresh, I was watching a crap series on TV and Chester sat down beside me to join in on the sudden boredom. “Watcha watching?” he asked brown eyes gleaming at me.
“Only crap on TV. You’d think with like, over a hundred channels there’d be something on?” I said tone tired and pessimistic.

“Then change from this you know I can’t watch reality-shit” my blonde, spiky-haired friend ordered me.
I refused to give up the remote control, pulling it to my side as he leaned in to reach for it, making his whole left side connect with my right side and his face closer to mine now than was proper for two platonic band-mates. He looked up at me slowly realizing our lips were just in a breaths distance, a slow soft breath. He sat back up at a safe distance from my voluptuous lips. Quiet and I could bet the only sound that was heard was my face turning crimson red as it surely must have. Didn’t know what to say or do either one of us. “So you’re gonna change that channel or what?” he finally asked with marked irritation- which was actually just insecurity and weirding out over the situation.

Neither him, nor I was ready to admit anything with words. Then the television went off and all lights out.
“What the…?” I heard myself say.
“Power’s gone, it happened yesterday too when you guys were out at the diner.” Chester sounded calm.
“Yeah?” I asked nervously. Really wasn’t ready for going to the bathroom in the dark and such other features, but this darkness proved to be useful after all. “It’ll be back in a few minutes” he reassured me.
“Oh, good” I said while breathing out.
“What, the thought of sitting in the dark with me THAT horrifying to you?” he said and at the moment I was so occupied trying to make out the contours of his frame that I didn’t notice he was joking.
“No, man it’s not, I didn’t mean…”
“Relax bro” he chuckled and I could feel him lift his weight over closer to me. “I was fucking with you…” He must have been very close because I could feel his minty-fresh breath as he said it. I slowly turned my head, careful so that I didn’t hit the guy with my face or something; everything was so black. All I could see now were the contours of his head, his neck and shoulders.

As we sat there for a while my eyes were getting used to the dark and I could, after a while see his face – and noticing he was staring at me, moving his gaze from my asian eyes to my mouth which he obviously thought fascinating, staring so intensely and with something hidden in the gaze. “Hey” I said to him in a low whisper my dark voice sounding deeper “I can see your face” and before I knew it my hand was up to touch his smooth newly-shaven cheek with the back of my hand. When I realized what I did I pulled away my hand and started to apologize when he held his fingers over my mouth. Silencing me and at the same time feeling the softness and fullness of them and how they opened when I drew for breath. I could almost see him smile and then he replaced his fingers with his mouth. I was a bit surprised, but oh how I wanted it- and he could tell. That was the worst part, he could tell that I wanted it and I let him see it – the need for him, the lust. But I didn’t care, not really because after all, he wanted it too.
There was no rhyme or reason; there were only hard-ons that needed to be taken care of.

His tongue played a violent and fast paced game in my mouth, and I played it back. He touched me and ripped my clothes off, and I did the same to him and we pressed together as if we couldn’t be close enough. I kissed his jawbone and then chest and the alluring nipples. He ran his long fingers through my short and spiky hair and held his breath when I tickled his lower abdomen with my tongue, that was his erogenous zone – could tell. His chest heaved with bigger motion up and down when I kissed my way up to his navel and stuck my tongue in it- adoring his body with my mouth. He stopped me before I unzipped his pants and looked down on me with his eyes all watery and red- on the verge of crying and he pulled me up to him. Chester wanted for us to be face to face. He wanted to look into my eyes as I stroked his long hard and thick cock and I did just that. Dark eyes of ours interlocked in a hot sensual passion as we jerked each other off and kissed heatedly in between breaths. The stare only intensified the pleasure because the sight of how we affected one another was simply too hot to handle.

It all got wilder from that night on, our secret meetings every here and there. When going over seas to the different countries of Europe and Asia we got much more comfortable lodgings than that stinking bus we used to tour with in the states. Hotel proved to definitely be on our plus side, and regular “meetings” made me get to know the real Chester, as I’d never seen him before. His kinky games had started to take form now and I also learned how sick and twisted and…sexy that could be.

Like this one time he brought this long beautiful looking knife when we were in Beijing. He’d gotten it in an antique store with lots of other gorgeous stuff. He put the knife on the table of his hotel room after washing it. Its silvery gleam caught my eye and I walked to pick it up. The thing was long and beautiful with a wooden handle and carvings on it and on the blade were Chinese signs, I could tell why it had drawn his attention. It was stunning. I held it up in the light to get a good look at it. All this time he’d been watching me. “You like it?” he asked me tone dark and eyes in wonder. “It’s beautiful Chaz” I said and he drew closer to me, faces only and inch apart.

“I thought you might like it” he smiled seductively and entwined his fingers with mine then pulled towards the bed. I was still holding the knife, but Chaz was the one in control. “Mike…” he said, pushing me onto the bed making me sit down on it. “Oh, Mike…” he said as if in a school play, playing Juliet, but then the voice darkened and he straddled me, in my sitting position and started grinding slowly, knowing our private parts were brushing against each other only separated by the fabric of clothes. “Do you want this?” he said, I got all hot and incredibly aroused. Chester took the silvery knife from my hand and held it towards the side of my face. Letting the blade caress my cheek and move towards my throat. “Yes” I gave out almost weakly. He now held it towards my chest, my black t-shirt separating my skin from the cold blade of the knife.

Very gently he pulled at my lower lip with his teeth biting but making sure I wasn’t hurt by it. At the same time he ripped my shirt open with the sharp knife.
Still the grinding- and it was working, had myself a steady wood by then. Looking down at me he commanded me to do the same to him, and I didn’t really care for the clothes was only excited by what was about to happen. Shit, this was one of the hottest things I’ve ever done. Took a bite of that pouty lip of his keeping my eyes open to watch him above me, then kissed those pink little nipples again and saw in the corner of me eye his narrow hips moving as a woman would on a man. God, how I loved to hold him, caress his back, his waist grab his little ass in my palms. Chester threw me down flat on my back without warning and licked and kissed his way up to my mouth from my navel, still knife in hand- smoothing the blades sharp part over my skin.

I felt a quick pain then discovered he’d purposefully cut through my skin making me bleed. Smiling devilishly he lapped at the blood. The sight of it frightened me a bit but was also strangely exciting. The blood on his tongue was partially given back to me as he kissed me – almost violating my mouth with the rough tonguing. Still straddling me he undid my pants and pushed them away along with the underwear, I think I swooned when he threw me down, my back landed on the soft bed and sucked so hard on my cock. Now this was bliss and I wouldn’t have had it any other way, wouldn’t have traded it for nothin’. His face was serious and it seemed he was devoting every last bit of him on making me feel the pleasure. Successfully I might add.

Chaz looked up at me naughtily and I arched my back when he only licked quickly and teasingly at the tip of my swollen flesh. This was excruciating. I wanted him, I wanted him so bad. “Oh Chaz” I gave out with torment in the tone.
“Yes Mike? What is it?” he raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side leaving my achingly engorged cock for a moment. “Please” I heard myself say my voice intoxicated by desire. “Please what Mike?”
He wanted for me to say it; and I was not above begging at this point.

“Please Chaz, take me, just fuck me:” I said in a low dark whisper. “Ah Mike” he said with that husky voice, looking pretty pleased with himself right about now “you know exactly what to say to turn a man on. And since you begged for me so nicely, I’ll let you get exactly what you asked for.”

As he finished that sentence he took off his pants and boxers and smoothed over my skin with his hands, from my inner thighs to my chest and curled up behind me, treading gently with those long fingers over my back planting small kisses on my neck every now and then.
I lay on my side and he lay behind me, sort of in a spoon and stroked my cock lightly with his warm hand.

He took the knife that he had held in his other hand and cut himself on his arm making the crimson blood spill into his mouth. He dripped some onto my shoulder and I turned my head to watch him take in that taste into his willing mouth. Chester definitely had his own ideas about what’s hot, but whatever turns him on I’m okay with as long as I get to be in the receiving end of his aroused state.

He lowered his gaze and urged me to taste it. I shook my head in negation. “Try it Mike you might actually like it” when I still didn’t want to he suggested something different. Lifting himself to better meet my lips he dotted on a drop of the red blood on his lips as he kissed me. I felt the tangy taste in my mouth as his lips and tongue smoothed over mine.

Then he put some on his fingers and while kissing my cheek and throat and earlobe he covered my thick sensual lips in a sanguine coating. Then stuck those fingers in my mouth which I glad fully sucked and swirled my tongue around them for good measure. Then he claimed my lips again and all I could do was moan because, damn that man can kiss, is all I’m saying. Up until then I hadn’t laid a hand on him…much, he’d been all over me and I’d kept it mostly to kissing and tonguing but when I moved my hands over to feel his thigh, lifting it up as to bring him closer to me it seemed he went crazy.

Without warning he held on tight to me, I felt his erection as he did so and started to push his pulsing flesh inside me. I cried out, surprising myself completely and asked for him to take it easy. He did, he was nice and careful and made sure I wasn’t hurt by his impressive length, talking dirty to my ear, kissing my back, biting me gently making bittersweet pleasure exude from the biting areas.

I’d swear Chester was a vampire by then, but vampire or no I didn’t care as long as he kept on fucking me. After a little while he thrust harder and harder and the effects of it affected us both, making sensation even more intense with every thrust.
“Chester...” I breathed almost panting by now “Chester, harder” I whimpered and he obeyed. His hand started to move over my cock again and the deal was double the sweet. ‘How did I ever survive without this?’ I thought as Chester drew closer and closer to climax, and he was working harder on my dick.

“You like that?” he asked breathlessly when hearing me groan in sheer pleasure. “Ah, yeah, you know how I like it” the deep of my voice exciting him further. He thrust a few more times before he came inside me shaking as he did but didn’t stop with the hand-job until I came shortly after. Exploding in big convulsions through my body this was definitely an orgasm to remember. I had never gotten off on anyone as on him and the results of it was mind-blowing.

I turned around to face him his eyes; the dark pools of sadness were gone – replaced by bliss and sweetness. I kissed him as he reached out to touch my face only wanting to feel the smooth of my skin. I wrapped my arms around my lover and he did the same, could feel his smile now and the only thing that was heard were our breaths.

That was one of the hottest nights of my life. I swear that I had never felt anything remotely this good, ever. Well I was convinced then that since it felt so good it must be wrong; and I was very aware that it was wrong I mean we were both unfaithful to our women and not a day or hour or minute went by without me mentally beating myself up for doing this. It was incredibly stupid and unfair of us to do it over and over and over again. And each time we did it we were closer, and the closer we were the more we wanted it. It was a vicious circle and still is. The fact that this could last forever has crossed my mind, ‘cause Chester and I aren’t just friends who are having sex, we make love. We’re best friends in love and it’s the best feeling in the world.

That’s why this is so conflicting, because if it was just sex then I’d quit before I even started. Like I said it’s not right to deceive our loved ones like that, but somehow Chester seems to stir up all these feelings. All feelings are taking over and clouding my reason, I don’t want to feel that much you know? Guilt I could do without and the need for touching him, being around him. But now I’m trailing off.

So at first it was just carnal, but with suppressed and underlying emotions but lately it’s been more intense than that. And this is the reason why I wanted to confess it all. Here goes;

Last day of touring in Europe, we’d done all of our concerts, radio, publicity, photo shoots and interviews so tired as we were we just went by a local Burger King to get something to eat. The guys joking tiredly, and sitting in those booths, I was sitting across from Chester, of course. Everybody are talking about what to do next going to the movies, taking a look around, Chester saying he’s too tired to do anything at all, giving me a small hint that he’s going to be at the hotel room all night. I noticed him looking at me in a daring way undressing me with his eyes in front of everybody. And slid his foot up the inside of my thigh, I sat up straight in my chair, paralysed by the motion but he wasn’t discouraged. The foot was making its way to my crotch. He purposefully licked his lips slowly and teasingly casting me a small wink and a gorgeous smile that said ‘I want you right here right now’.

I almost freaked out, giving him a cold stern eye, knowing he’d stop it if I wasn’t up for it. The other guys didn’t really take any notice, but I was still worried. I was slightly shocked by his behaviour and as we walked toward the hotel I motioned for him to slow down so I could talk to him, (us walking behind the others now).

“What are you trying to pull, man?” I asked lowly, he just smiled deviously. “Are you trying to tell the whole world? Do you want them to know?” He smirked as if he couldn’t believe what I just said.
“Why, don’t you? Don’t tell me you don’t want them to know, because that would be a blatant lie- and you know it.” He said.
I stared down at the ground as we walked. Finally met his eyes, they were non-judging and completely honest. “Sure I do, but this is serious, what if the press finds out? What if everybody knows?” I said.
He laughed, but it wasn’t from anything funny.

“Then maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad to have to lie to everyone about it. Especially to Sam, ‘cause it huts as hell to lie to her. She deserves better than this, better than me.” He was looking down at the ground as I had done before.
“All I’m saying is we might hurt some people in our lives, and it might be a little too much for others to handle.” He raised an eyebrow and his eyes darkened. “Sounds like the one who’s having a problem with ‘us’ Mike, is you. If you don’t want to do this anymore just fucking tell it to my face- I can handle it.” His voice sounded a bit angry. He walked faster, catching up with the others.

I felt bad for sounding as if I didn’t want everyone to know about us, and for sounding like I was ashamed of our relationship, which I absolutely wasn’t. Just wasn’t ready for telling the world that’s all. Besides, it was kind of nice to have a secret such as Chester all to myself. Decided to make it up to him by sexy surprise, and an explanation.

After a while in my hotel-room prepping my surprise I knocked on Chester’s door. “Whoever the fuck it is, go away” I heard a voice call from inside. “It’s me” I said, not sure if he’d heard me. It turned quiet and then the door was opened. “Hey” I said, my voice a bit scattered.
And when I looked up at his dark-clad frame, seeing those deepened luscious brown eyes and pouty lower lip together with the expression of his sad, handsome face I just melted and realized I wasn’t speaking.
Seemed to be okay for him though as he stared back looking as if he’d seen me for the first time. I thought it be a funny coincidence that we both wore all black clothing. “Don’t give me those puppy-dog eyes” he said without conviction “they don’t work on me.”

All I could say was “I’m Sorry” then I drew closer to him, still standing by the doorway. Chester had been affected just by my small “sorry”. And I loved that little fact. “Come with me” I offered, he willingly followed me to my room. I closed the door after him, locking it. I turned to face him; he was heart-breakingly gorgeous in all his sadness and insecurity. But I wanted to see happy, confident Chester once more. My eyes filled up with tears, but I blinked them away quickly. My lover approached me as soon as he saw me like this. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asked all worried and came closer to me, letting his guard down. “I was just so surprised by the fact that you thought I didn’t care, it totally threw me off.” I said slowly.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel that way, but from what you said earlier it sounded to me like you didn’t want to be with me anymore, and that hurt. Alot.” His usual manner of speaking made me feel a little at ease, as it always does.

“I didn’t mean that at all, I want to keep what we have more than ever, I never meant for it to sound the way it did, I thought you knew how much I care about you.” My blonde angel was noticeably more at ease, but still a bit sad. I cupped the side of his face with my left hand.
“I would never do anything to hurt you, purposefully, and I AM proud of this.” I said and took his right hand, fingers entangled.
“Of being with you” My lover seemed to soften a bit but didn’t say anything. Caught his lips with my own, only tasting then softly. Warm mouth, lip-ring always an exciting element. He broke the kiss.

“You know you can’t do this to me, can’t confuse me letting me think we’re through and then just kiss it all away…and you can’t…”
I stopped his speaking with another kiss, proving to him I could kiss it all away. He made these cute little ‘mm’ noises at the back of his throat, those noises drove me wild. My tongue dove in to play within his velvety smooth interior, passionate became violent and our slim hot bodies pressed together. It occurred to me that I couldn’t even imagine to be away from his mouth, from his touch his blindingly seductive manner. And that’s the way he was naturally.

Chester kissed my cheek, my throat and sucked my earlobe, knowing it would send tickling shivers down my spine. I grabbed a hold of his ass and he laughed heartily when I did it. Lifting up his black t-shirt I reached to feel his warm skin, needing to feel him more and more. Traced my fingers over the smooth surfaced and realized I probably touched his ‘Linkin Park’ tattoo on his lower back. I smiled when thinking of it. Chazy seemed to slow down and just gave me light pecks all over my face. “Mike” he whispered barely audible.
“Yes Chester” I replied, holding him close to me then looking at him sweetly. “I love you” He opened his eyes, finding me already looking at him. Deep dark eyes so beautiful. “I love you Mike” he said once more in case I hadn’t heard him. My heart was filled to the brim with absolute bliss; I couldn’t imagine anything I wanted to hear more than the words he just uttered. “I love you too Chester” I said poignantly smiling blissfully as I did so to make him feel sure about my honesty in it. After all I couldn’t say something like that without meaning it, and he knew it.

I smiled seductively at him, and lowered my gaze provocatively, took his hand in mine and headed towards the bathroom.
“I’ve been naughty Chazy, didn’t just bring you here to clear things out.” He frowned with this amusing wonder planted on his facial expression. I opened the door to the well-scented room, steam coming out temporarily blinding us. Chester raised an eyebrow when he realized what I had in mind. The room was all steamy and hot and the bath-tub was filled with warm water and small rose petals. Blue petals were strewn across the floor (knowing blue roses were his favourites).
I had lit what must have been a hundred candles, surrounding the tub. The fire always did something to Chester, maybe the same way he got off on the blood, I hoped. But it had an even better effect; it made him more sensual and loving. He looked around him as if in a trance almost gaping and I just kept staring at him, content just looking at my lover and friend. He turned to me and smiled that surprised yet wicked smile that I had become so accustomed to.

“So Shinoda, you’re trying to seduce me, hu?” Now it was my turn to look surprised. “Trying? I’m not trying anything. I AM seducing you”
I closed in on him, licking his lips. “Is it working?” I asked.
“Hell yeah…you suave motherfucker” he said that husky voice coming out, turning me on. Chaz removed my black sweater finding bare slightly tanned supple skin, seeming to treasure it like gold. He touched all over my chest and stomach, kissing my throat and collarbone tenderly, while he did that I undressed him slowly starting with the black t-shirt and moving on to unzip the pants.

When both were undressed we entered the very pleasingly hot tub, letting some of the water spill down on the floor as we got in. I got in first letting Chester rest on top of me leaning with his whole back of his body to my front. I relished at the sensation of his weight on me. Buried my nose in his blonde spiky hair, smelling of alluring shampoo, very manly smell, very enticing. I tilted his head to the side just a little so that we were almost cheek to cheek, and then wrapped my arms around him tightly.

“This is nice” I said my voice a bit coarse. “Mmm-hmm” I only got for an answer, but knowing he savoured this moment like I did just then. “Do you worry A LOT about what the other guys would say if they found out about us?” he said quite suddenly but speaking very calmly, placing his hands on my thighs. “Yes, I think about it pretty often, but it’s not like I’d be embarrassed if they did find out. Hell, I might even tell them one day, do you want them to know?”
Chester caressed the areas of me that were available to him in this position. “No and yes, I don’t know. How do you think they’d react? If it was two of them and we’d be the ones finding out, I don’t honestly know how I’d react.” He turned quiet, but kept on sliding those hands up and down my thighs. “Who knows, maybe they’d be cool about it, once they got used to the thought. Maybe they’d totally understand, because they are our friends after all.” I kissed him sensually on the cheek, and then his earlobe, enwrapping it in my tongue. “Maybe” he said solemnly.

The way he had touched me and the sight of his naked body so close to mine, and the feel of it had turned me on immensely and I was feeling quite the boner, and was pretty sure he felt it too digging into his backside. Chester turned around and now we were pretty much stomach to stomach, his dark chocolaty eyes peering up at me- all big and childlike. “I don’t know what I’d do without you” I said to him and noticing he was honestly touched. “I don’t ever wanna lose you Mike, not ever” he said and kissed me, intensifying the groping, feeling those lovely hands (so like mine actually) wrap themselves around my hard shaft, moving me slowly and instantly bliss and desire set in with not only me but Chester as well.

He watched me contentedly as every little thing he did with me made me look at him in a different way. But all the while I was looking at him, and he was looking at me, and I knew he did this because he loved me, he never had to say it, but I was so glad that he did. After a while I turned him around and kissed his back lovingly. I kissed the tattoo on his back with the outstretched arms, loving every bit of it, and traced the lines of it with my tongue. “Make love to me Mike…” Chester said and I lifted him up and closer to me, and then with no further notice pushed my throbbing cock inside of his warm body. He gasped; I could scarcely believe how good this felt. I moaned loudly encouraging Chaz to do so to and worked my hand over his solid length. I moved my delicate “piano-fingers” over it at the same pace that I thrust, making him feel when I felt. I gripped it harder, now that the pre-come had lubricated him enough. The piece of flesh felt steady and hard in my hand, I was pretty pleased when I heard him groan and curse under his breath using my last name and blasphemy involved in it. (Yeah, I was doing something right)

The thrusting and jerking got harder and faster and felt higher until suddenly there was no motion. It was as if being in a state of bliss unlike anything before. Earth shattering sex had become intimate love making, I could feel him and he could feel me – we felt with every fibre of our beings. It was what I would imagine love making in heaven would feel like. But all good things must come to an end.

It was all over in what could have been a second but felt like an hour, we were both thrown back to reality- which in my opinion was almost as good. We had come at the same time my hand releasing Chester from his state and I saw the droplets of semen shoot out from inside him and land in the hot water at the same time that I came inside of him. Both of us were panting heavily and Chester turned to face me again and kissed me fervently, covering my face with little hot kisses throwing in a causal lick on the lips. Then he rested against me.

God, I almost thought I was going to cry when he held on to me like that. We stayed there for as long as we could just holding each other; happy just to be in each other’s arms. “Chester?” I asked, not sure if he had fallen asleep or not. “Yes Mike?”
“Don’t ever leave me, you know I love you, you know I can’t breathe without you?” the words had flown out of my mouth sooner than I could think them over. He looked up at me, smiling, those dark infinite pools of eyes replied in all honesty as he spoke.
“I know, Mike. I know, and I won’t ever leave you.”

So there you go the whole tale. Sigh. I don’t know how long this will last and I don’t know if we’ll ever tell anyone we know about it.
All I know is that we’re both so happy right now and have been for nearly a year and the love we share doesn’t fade it only gets stronger.
So who knows what will happen? Maybe it doesn’t matter what’s going to happen (or not happen) because all we got is this moment.
And right now there is no rhyme or reason, only love.”

The End.
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Mike's Confessions