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Three Way Ride	By : runningnakedinthepark Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Rammstein Views: 2394 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Rammstein. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Three Way Ride
- 2-part two
- 1
- 2
Three Way Ride

Their lips seemed a bit swollen, wet and slippery; sliding against each other. Their mouths – mobilized by this feeding frenzy, wanting to devour each other, chewing on the other's flesh. I feel like I’m expecting to see blood pouring down their chins. But no, no rivulets of blood streaming down the white skin, only their moans pour forth, shaking their embraced bodies.
I’m biting on my own lower lip then suck deep from my cig. I’m shaking too, my mind hazed by this pleasant stupor, but I remain sat on my couch and keep watching them with eager eyes.

First time when I saw them like that I just froze, my brain refusing to comprehend what my eyes were seeing. Back then, I found them by accident; they were hidden in a corner, before the concert.
I held my breath, standing there, motionless, having a sensation as if my heart stopped beating.
Holy fuck, Richard and Christoph were kissing!
Probably I was too shocked, that’s why I didn’t say anything. I just stepped back, making my retreat as discreet as possible, not taking my gaze away from them though.
It was like, stuck among my alarmed thoughts, this little devil was whispering to me “Look at them! Keep looking!” And was forcing me to do so.
And, hell, I kept watching! Shamelessly and stunned; I was hypnotised by the image of those two clinging bodies, so close, so heated, like they were trying to melt into each other.
I left, only when I realised they were about to finish kissing. I was shaking my head, like trying to unglue that image from my memory. But the human mind is a funny thing! That image kept haunting me for days. And nights, as well.
A part of me wanted to reveal it all to the others. It wasn’t fair, for Christ’s sake!
We’re all like a big family, sharing everything. And we’re everything but faggots!
Yes, we’ve flirted with that idea, like we did with everything that we thought might outrage those so-called decent people, but we sure haven’t…
Another part of me was telling me to just keep my mouth shut. And that’s what I did, thinking that I should sort it all in my mind first, before being able to let anyone else know about it. I didn’t even go to talk with Richard and Christoph, in private, about what I’ve seen. A part of me was too chicken for that.
On the other hand, I was thinking that actually it wasn’t my business at all. They were grown-ups; free to do whatever they wanted to.
Yet, another part of me felt so betrayed and so hurt. Yes, I’ve being goofing off too, allowing myself be kissed by another guy, hell, I’ve even pretended to ass rape another guy, and I did that in front of thousands of people, but I knew certainly what league I was playing for. And I thought I knew certainly what league Richard and Christoph were playing for too. The same league with me, with the rest of us.
Not anymore though.
For a while, from time to time, I was having the impulse to share with Flake this secret that was starting to seem more like a burden to me. Flake would know exactly what to do. But I felt like if I did I would have betrayed Christoph and Richard. They were my friends too, just as Flake. Also, I knew how ridiculous I would have appeared, coming to Flake with such a silly story. What if it was only my imagination, after all?
Sometimes I was looking at him, helpless, like expecting him to read my thoughts and start asking me about it.

Now, here I am, sitting on this couch and watching their naked bodies coiling like serpents around each other, on that bed, keeping on kissing and caressing, like they wouldn’t know I’m still here. Or, probably, they go on with it and are so heated exactly because they know they are being watched.

One day, while walking through the hallways of the venue we were due to hold our concert for the night, I’ve realised that I was wondering if I would find them again, hidden in some shadowed corner, making out. And I kept wandering through those halls until I had this revelation – I wanted to find them like that. I was craving to see them again, kissing or who knows what else.
Slowly, and to my surprise, I discovered that with each day passing, I was wishing for it. Even fantasising about it!

Now I don’t have to, anymore. My glance is stuck upon on them; their hands move along their chests, going down to fold their fingers over each other’s erection and start stroking. They are both reclining on the bed. Richard leans his head backwards, exposing his face and mouth more to his lover’s lips, to be kissed even deeper by a quietly moaning and aroused Christoph.
I swallow this knot in my throat and I keep smoking. My body is aching with desire, my pants feel too tight on me, but no, it’s not my time yet.

When, finally, it happened for me to stumble again into them, to see them kissing and cuddling, I felt my skin burning on me. I hid somewhere where I could look at them. But when I left, I was a sick man. Not sick of what they were doing; I thought I had no right to peek at them. I was disgusted by myself, for actually enjoying watching them, and for not having any remorse for doing it. And for keeping the secret. For gradually wishing for these kinds of incidents to occur more often.
All my relationships, steady ones or one-night stands, have been with women. Even in my most intimate moments when, for one reason or another, I was using my own hand to satisfy myself, under my closed eyelids, I was picturing having sex with women; a gorgeous full-breasted blonde sucking me, or something similar.
And, if it happened to find that some guys looked great, like Richard and Christoph, I haven’t been attracted to them. Not in THAT way.
So this fascination of mine for seeing them making out was scaring me. In the same time, though, it was so wonderfully pleasant.
So pleasant to know their secret and to keep it only for myself! To allow my mind to play with it, to let my brain daydream about it! To imagine them doing exactly what they are doing now: Richard lying across the bed, on his back, caressing Christoph’s hips with his thighs, asking for it with a choked guttural whisper. I keep my eyes on them while my hand searches by itself for the ashtray to put out the cig.

One time, while we were still on tour, it happened that my hotel room was next to Christoph’s. I was in my bed, with all the lights out, exhausted, yet unable to fall asleep. At one point my ears picked the sounds of someone sneaking into the room next to mine. I could have bet who that one was.
I wasn’t able to hear much of what happened there, but in my heated mind I could easily figure. After few hours, though, when I couldn’t stand anymore to be tortured, lashed and haunted by images of them doing what I thought they were doing, I decided – I couldn’t live any longer on wishing for “incidents” to happen; to find Richard and Christoph, by “mistake”, kissing and making out in some hidden corner.
I snuck out of my room and went to Christoph’s. It was dark and quiet in there – they were sleeping, bodies tangled in naked reckless abandonment. I kept watching them for a while, breathless, stunned by their beauty: they were sleeping on their sides, facing each other, not touching at all, but they seemed to be surrounded by this protective layer making them seem like one being with two hearts. Their skin was still glowing with sweat in the dim blue light coming through the windows. Two angels sleeping together. My angels.
I left as quietly as I could, dazzled, that weird exuberance and joy making my head like it was about to explode, and my heart was pounding with the sound of thousand drums. Something in me wasn’t the same anymore.
All I could remember while entering my room was how I was fighting with myself not to get near them and kiss their foreheads, like you do with your kids when you check at nights if they are sleeping.
Somehow I was a bit angry with myself too, for being such a pervert, for being so weak and give in to this impulse pushing me to sneak, at nights, into their rooms and watch them sleeping together.
My weakness continued back in my room. I was starting to touch myself, but under my closed eyelids the image of the full-breasted female with hot lips was long gone. Fantasies about Christoph and Richard’s heavy irregular breathing, their sweaty chests rubbing against one another, their wet slippery lips sliding against each other while locked in that kiss, their half-closed eyes, the shadows of their eyelashes on their white skin replaced it.
I haven’t got to see them actually doing it, the hard hot sex thing. Somehow I respected their privacy about that; I didn’t want to get to that, sensing that, in a way, I wasn’t ready for it yet.

Now, though, I can’t take my eyes away from Richard as he opens himself more and more to let Christoph penetrate him slowly.

I kept their secret for myself, guarding and treasuring it. I didn’t want the others to find out because I might have lost it. Richard and Christoph would have been more cautious and it would have become more difficult for me to get my little share of it.
I had the sensation that a part of their happiness was mine too, even if they weren’t aware about me knowing about them. My soul trembled with joy when I realised that I was the only one who knew exactly the meaning of their occasional grazes or the glances they threw to each other, in public.
In the same time, though, I was getting somehow sad and bitter. Only watching them sleeping started to be not enough anymore. Richard and Christoph didn’t know about me, I wasn’t a part of what they had. I was just a spectator watching from a distance. They were two; I was alone. They had each other, I had only fantasies and images scattered in my aroused mind.
I wanted more.

I wanted to be able to see it all, like now - Christoph thrusting harder and faster into Richard, while Richard releases his own cock and snatches up handfuls of sheets, pushing himself more into his lover, moaning, hissing, wanting that magic spot inside him to be hit again and again.

One morning, while having my coffee in the hotel’s restaurant, I spotted Christoph sitting at a table near mine. He looked so at peace with himself and everything in this world, so serene. I remembered the night before - I had gone into their room again and watched them for minutes while they were sleeping, and I had this strong urge to crawl between them, to abandon my own body near theirs, wrap myself too into that invisible warm layer that seemed to surround and protect them.
I shook my head to chase away that image, as if I just woke up. I froze. Christoph was smiling at me. I realised that I was smiling too, while remembering the night before. Since I was facing him, probably he thought I was smiling to him, so he smiled back.
“Mornin’!” I heard Richard’s voice somewhere near.
He was back, probably, from his morning run. With a lover like Christoph no wonder he wanted to keep fit!
I lowered my head, embarrassed, trying to wipe that smile off my face.

That morning, though, the same voice that is moaning now, as Richard is flooding his lover’s abdomen with his semen, that voice seemed a bit harsh, upset. I didn’t spend much musing about it, though; I was too busy anticipating the next time when I might have the chance to watch them again.

As my hand was slowly opening the door, my heart started to pump the blood faster into my veins, thousands of soldiers marching very loud. I stepped inside, my silhouette melting quietly in the darkness of their room. I was becoming a shadow as the door was closing behind me.
“Uhm, fuck off!”
I froze.
Was that cranky voice talking to me?
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Asked the same husky voice I recognised to be Richard’s.
“Maybe he wants to join us.” I heard the other voice, calmer, belonging to Christoph.
“He can fuck off!” snapped Richard.
“He’ll tell the others,” replied Christoph.
My thoughts were screaming at them that, no, I would never tell anyone, ever!
“Stop defending him!” grumbled Richard. “I saw you grinning at him like a teenager having a crush on the teacher!”
Now is time to run - this thought was yelling at me, but my feet were holding me there, glued on the floor.
“Richard, I don’t…” started Christoph, but I wasn’t there anymore to hear him finishing his sentence.

Now, Christoph’s hands are clinched on his lover’s hips; with his few final thrusts he arches his back to aim deeper into Richard. His head is leaned back, his lips parted, eyes closed and deep choked moans are coming from his throat

I was ill, for days, sick of myself, sick of them, sick about what I did, displeased by everything in this world. I hated them all equally. I hated myself even more!
You sleazy fuck – my thoughts were howling at me! What the hell was in that shitty brain of yours? What the fuck were you thinking, hoping, imagining?
One evening, I was at the sink, in my dressing room, washing off the make-up after the concert. Suddenly I felt this strong grip in my hair; an unexpected forceful hand was pushing my head in the sink, under the tap’s running water.
“Leave Christoph alone, you old dirty bag!”
It was Richard, really pissed off, judging by that low husky voice of his.
“Stay the fuck away from us! Away from him!”
The running water getting into my eyes was making me blink heavily. Richard’s hand jerked my head, threatening to smash my face against the white porcelain of the sink.
“Let me go, Richard,” I grumbled, my chest being invaded by the hot flame of a sudden burst of anger.
“Mind your own fucking business!” He growled, just as enraged. “I don’t give a fuck if you tell anyone about us. I won’t be blackmailed like that!”
“Let me go, Richard, or I’ll beat the shit out of you!” I spat through my gritted teeth. “No one’s blackmailing you!”
He remained still for few seconds while I was calculating how to escape this position he got me into, defenceless, unable to do much. Beyond the sound of the water I could grasp sounds on the other side of the door, announcing that someone was about to come in.
Richard’s fingers unclasped, one by one, freeing my hair. I straightened my back. I was towering over him, my muscular body dwarfing his despite his work out regime, but that blue fire in his eyes pierced right through into me, making my heart cringe.
“Whatever!” He whispered and stormed out of the room.
Jealous possessive freak! I wouldn’t have suspected that side of his. I thought back then that he probably really loves Christoph. That kind of love that takes your minds away, paralyses your brain, blinds you, and turns you into this fierce beast that takes as a threat anything that moves around.
Like it wasn’t enough for me, all the guilt, the remorse for what I’ve done, the self-hatred and resentment, the sleepless nights when I was torturing myself, fighting with myself for being so stupid, for getting along with and enjoying this sick stuff I’ve done.
Now I had Richard on my back too!

- to be continued -
- 1
- 2
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Three Way Ride