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Mission: World Domination	By : Nevoreiel Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Franz Ferdinand Views: 1162 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Franz Ferdinand. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Mission: World Domination
- 1
Title: Mission: World Domination
Pairing: Various [*gasp*]
Rating: R
Summary: When ordinary wily ways don't work, improvise.
Disclaimer: Not real, never happened, no offence meant at all. The concept and the video for "This Fire" are property of FF and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Notes: This is as silly as I could manage. Might even say it's Alternate Universe Franz. Sad thing is, I think their plan really did work.

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The building sat inconspicuously in the business district of town. It held the look of a disused warehouse.

Three gentlemen approached the building from different directions, looking slick in black suits, hair perfectly coiffed. Their footsteps were sharp, moving with a single purpose. They were at ease, unguarded. After having discarded large, floppy hats and bulky sunglasses as awfully unstylish disguises, they ringed their eyes in heavy black instead. Each was left alone though there were a few curious stares.

At even intervals they approached the lone door and knocked three times. Eyes peered out and, after appraising each figure, the door was swung open then shut.

Once they were all assembled, they walked in silence till they reached the main room. They settled into their customary places at the bright orange table; it was a strange choice, but it had been Alex "evil but wonderful" Kapranos who had decided on the décor.

Alex leaned forward, splaying his hands on the table and clearing his throat. "Friends, it is time to implement our plan. I've no doubt that we'll succeed in our endeavor." Alex smiled; he did enjoy speaking with an air of importance.

The gentlemen all nodded and watched impatiently as Mr. Evil but Wonderful folded and stamped the cleverly disguised poetry that was typed in precise letters, their picture accompanying the words. They watched closely when Alex licked the envelope, tongue agile and glistening. Nick "Pretty Boy" McCarthy had a hard time swallowing, convinced of their imminent success.

The meeting broke up for the day, the letters sent. There was nothing to do but wait and see.

A buzz had spread over the continent of Eurasia. It was time to gather again. They gathered – triumphant.

"The music's a hit. A direct hit!" Spoke up Paul "Mr. Dirty" Thompson.

Bob "Angelic" Hardy nodded enthusiastically, "Yes! The girls have taken to it."

"And how they dance!" Alex exclaimed; he had that evil twinkle in his eye.

"Alex, you are a master hypnotist," Nick congratulated, and they all clapped politely.

"We shall be lauded across the globe and, wherever we go, people will throw white rose petals our way," Bob's eyes were glazed over as he fantasized.

"We shall be kings among our faithful!" Nick thundered.

Alex raised an eyebrow, amused. He received two echoing 'What?'s in response.

The map of the world hung in front of the table and they stared at it hungrily. The newspapers and telecasters had picked up on the story, proclaiming in bold letters "MASS HYPNOSIS PHENOMENA!" It was a welcome sight and they saved and recorded each clipping and broadcast.

Pushing forward the next part of the plan, a video shoot was arranged. Like prophetic angels, they sang and played and mesmerized with their charms. Bob posed, his artistic nature making others swoon; Alex practiced his disarming ways; Paul and Nick contemplated. They donned their conqueror capes and it made them feel all the more momentous. No one was safe from the spell of FF!

…Until the excitement wore off. The spell waned and the fire burned low. The headlines read "HYPNOSIS EPIDEMIC DECREASES" and the four gentlemen were not pleased.

"But it was foolproof!" wailed Alex. He paced and he snarled. Finally alighting on a brilliant idea, he banged his fist on the table, making the rest jump.

"We turn up the act," Alex said matter-of-factly. He was met with blank stares. Living up to his alias, Alex changed demeanors, eyes widening and smile turning feral. He reached for the stack of papers on the far side of the table and pulled them closer, fingers fluttering over the orange envelopes.

Nick was first to catch on and good thing, too, as he was the first victim. Alex pulled Nick in for a kiss. After a quick swipe through his mouth, Alex drew away in satisfaction. "Not bad."

Nick's brain sputtered uselessly as he sat motionless, numbly looking at Alex who was very self-satisfied. "Well, then. We're all clear? Let's get to it."

Papers fluttered off the table and tea spilled when Alex pushed Nick onto the table before a dismayed Paul and Bob. Alex stepped onto his chair and then settled himself between Nick's thighs, winking at the onlookers. Catching Alex's tempting orange tie, Nick tugged on it and toppled Alex to lie fully on top of him.

They looked ready to devour each other whole and Paul was a little dismayed, he was even more scandalized when he felt a hand creeping over his thigh. Bob was smiling beatifically at him, a new glint in his eye. Paul's mouth went dry and he did not even have a chance to protest before Bob assaulted him. They almost toppled out of their chairs.

The table whined as Alex and Nick shifted, arms flying to undo buttons, never once parting for air. Nick swiped his fingers through Alex's hair and the perfect hair-style stood up on end, giving Alex well-deserved horns. Alex was so engrossed in ripping at Nick's clothing that he did not notice. Feeling lightheaded, Nick bit Alex's lip, not too hard, just hard enough to get him to let up. Alex pulled away with a gasp, lips a dark pink, face flushed. He grinned wickedly and blew warm air behind Nick's ear, kissing the trembling neck.

While they ground against each other, Bob had gotten Paul to the floor. He worked furiously at Paul, wrist snapping at a breakneck pace. Paul forgot all decency, head lolling from side to side and eyes rolled back. After all, what did he care for decency, he was the "dirty" one. The tip of Bob's tongue poked out of one corner of his mouth as he worked, smile never falling. Mr. Kapranos was a genius on many levels.

Nick's black and orange belt was dropped to the floor, along with Alex's bright tie. Cloth was reluctant to part under their hands, but they were insistent. Their skin burned sweetly as they brushed against each other. Too impatient for anything more, they slid and ground together, the friction maddening.

"I burn for you," Alex managed to pant and they were both exquisitely, blissfully coming. Paul lay boneless as well, slumped under Bob as he now stroked himself, smile replaced by a pout, eyes closed in concentration. He gasped and came, making Paul, indeed, dirty.

Alex managed to slide off the table and onto his feet. He straightened up, recovering his belt, checking on his eyeliner, and fussing with his hair. "Ah, now that that's done, let's continue with the plan." He was watched closely as he wrote out more letters, stamping and licking each. His gaze said it all – he knew he was irresistible.

It was a tense time, waiting to see the results of the new batch of letters. When reported start rushing in, Alex danced around the table, amused faces following him. He raised an eyebrow and everyone turned away, flustered. Gleefully they watched as their influence spreads across the globe. The new plan was an astonishing success!

Overwhelmed, Bob kissed Alex in form of congratulation. Nick felt left out and pulled them apart, mashing his mouths to Alex's so hard that he felt Alex's teeth press into his lips. Unbalanced, the three crumpled to the floor, laughing in between random kisses. Paul watched in amusement, feeling elated, if a little strange. The three practically writhed on the floor, in various states of undress. Paul had a distinct urge to join them. Feeling that there was nothing to lose now, he fell upon them. Among the squalling and moaning, there was much congratulating and thanks thrown about. For once, they were fully drunk on their own ecstasy.

The large screen flashed "GLOBAL SEX MANIA FOLLOWS MASS HYPNOSIS PHENOMENA". No one paid any particular attention to that, they were too wrapped up in each other, rolling around with silly grins. And as boys and girls fainted the world-around, they swooned in their own little heaven, air heavy with the scent of sex.

End
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Mission: World Domination