Better Days | By : Kashshaptu Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 1765 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
AN: Okies, so this is one of my fics that'll have multiple chapters. This starts out as a pg-13 fic. It's kinda angsty and stuff in the beginning but things will get better. I'm not sure if this fic will ever get a full-blown lemon, but some stuff probably will happen between them later on. I hope you'll enjoy it, ne? ^_^ This is my baby, not sure why, it's a rotten fic to write but I love it dearly ^^;;
Disclaimer: This fic is purely for entertainment purposes and I sadly do not own the characters displayed in this chapter nor in any chapter after this. In short: I don't own this.
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What’s the meaning of life? People often ask me. I’m not sure why they do. It must be because I work close with death. Still I wonder why they ask me. I’m not even smart. I would’ve been one of the doctors here if I was. I’m just a nurse. My name is Andou Daisuke. My job consists of nursing people who were in serious accidents back to good health. A rehabilitation centre, they call it. It sounds so negative. People often mistake it with the kind of centres for drug addicts. It’s not though. The patients here are here on their free will. They are free to go everywhere and we’ll help them to live with their sufferings as much as possible.
There are a lot of patients who’ll have to live with the permanent damage, a missing limb or eternal scars. I admire their strength. I’m not sure I’d be able to live like that, though lots of patients think the same just after their accidents.
The system here works as following: this is a really expensive and classy centre, which means there aren’t that many patients. This gives the opportunity for one nurse per patient. That nurse stays with the patient until they’re mentally and physically completely healed.
I don’t work here that long yet, but I think the system works really well. Patients often feel insecure. They’ve lost a leg, arm or their body is covered in large scars. They build a friendship with the one person that would never judge them. The person that has seen it all. Me.
Though there’s always one big negative side to it all. When the time comes for the patient to go home, it’s hard for both patient and nurse. When you’ve been in contact with a patient for almost a year, it’s hard to let go. You aren’t allowed to visit the patient after he or she has been discharged from here. It’s a fact, you get attached to each other and instantly losing that… is hard.
As of one week ago I don’t have a patient anymore. He died of a heart-attack. Life’s ironic. He survived one of those accidents you’d think nobody can come out of alive. But he did. Five months later, after excessive physiotherapy and training, he’s ready to leave the centre. He got a heart-attack the night before. We found him in his bed the morning he should’ve been released.
I was ordered to take a few days off. It’s normal. In those few days I started thinking about these things I’ve never even contemplated before. Like the meaning of life.
And right now, I’m at the centre again. I just finished my morning coffee. In a few minutes I will meet my new patient.
A twenty-two year old boy from Osaka. He lost his lower left leg in a car crash. It got stuck and when they finally got him out of the car, it had been too late. Surgeons had to remove part of his left leg.
I look forward to meeting him. Though maybe I should try not to get too attached this time…
***
“Good morning, Terachi-san! I am Andou Daisuke and for the time you’ll be staying here, I’m your personal nurse. You can call me Die if you want.” I said it in my happy-voice as I opened the curtains.
The person on the bed didn’t say anything. Was he still asleep? I walked closer. No. He was lying on his back, head rolled towards the window, staring into nothing. He probably didn’t even see the curtains open.
I studied his form. He was indeed missing his left lower leg.
He was lucky I immediately thought. It had been removed right below the knee. That means people probably wouldn’t even know he’d lost it later on. He could learn to walk naturally with the use of a prosthesis.
If he hadn’t have had his knee anymore, he’d have been off far worse. Even with all the state of the art prostheses, it would look a bit stiff and like he was limping.
“It’s incomplete,” A hoarse voice suddenly whispered.
At that point my heart broke. He sounded so incredibly lost and alone.
I sat down on the chair beside the bed and looked at him. I gasped. I could have sworn I’ve never seen such a beautiful guy in my life.
“I’m sorry if I’m crossing the line right now, but even incomplete you’re probably the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
He was quiet. I wasn’t even sure if he had heard me.
After a few minutes I sighed and stood up. I walked over to the door.
“We will bring your breakfast with you shortly, Terachi-san,” I said as I exited the room.
“It’s still incomplete though…”
***
I’m sorry Terachi-san, we did everything to save your leg, but for the safety of your life, we had to remove the lower part.
“I’d rather be dead…”
I awoke with a startle. That moment they told me about my leg, or the absence of it. I dream about it, a lot. I still think the same. I’d rather be dead. At the moment I just lay in my bed for days, recovering from the dreadful surgery. Scarred for life, literally.
And that’s not all. No, of course, how could I forget. Listen carefully, because this is funny. It is, trust me. My legs are also paralyzed. Not funny? Hear this: it’s my fault they are. “Emotional Trauma.” That’s what they said. Pretty pathetic, ne?
How can I have emotional trauma from an accident I didn’t even see? Yes, didn’t see it. I was asleep. My girlfriend and I were in the car, going home from the movies. I was asleep. She died.
It happened on a deserted road. She let the car swerve and crash against a tree. T hey even said I was the one calling an ambulance. Again, I don’t remember anything. This is just what the doctors told me.
I blame her. She is the one that mutilated me. Made me deformed. In a way the paralysis is her fault too. It’s her own fault she’s dead.
I loved her dearly, believe me, she was the love of my life. But I couldn’t cry when I heard about her death. I didn’t feel anything. Numb. The only emotion left inside of me was anger. Anger at her for ruining my life like this. Her funeral was yesterday. I didn’t go. I could have gone though. That nurse. The red-head. He tried to get me to attend it, but I did the same as I did these past few days. I plainly ignored him.
He is a nice guy, really.
He’s just annoying. So overly happy it makes me sick. Can’t people just leave me alone and let me wallow in my self-pity?
He apparently can’t. He comes in everyday, trying to cheer me up, giving me food, begging me to go outside….”’Cause of the beautiful gardens.”
Give me a break. I don’t need his pity.
Ah, speaking of the devil. There he is again. Andou Daisuke. I can call him Die. I never call him anything.
“Good morning, Terachi-san! I’ve got your breakfast. It’s a beautiful day today!”
He carefully sets the tray with breakfast on my lap and opens the curtains. He’s right. It’s a beautiful day.
He sits down next to the bed as I begin eating. I give him an annoyed look, but he always ignores them.
Secretly I kind of enjoy his presence. He makes me feel less of the broken defect princess that I am. ‘Cause it’s true. My parents could’ve let me be nursed at home. They’re rich. The best doctors in the world could’ve taken care of me. Instead, they sent me away to this place. It’s nice here. The gardens are indeed beautiful. I can see them from my window.
I silently eat the rest of my breakfast, though only touching the fruit and milk. Die just sits there, waiting for me to finish. And when I do, his eyes light up.
“I have a present for you…” He says.
I look at him, smiling on the inside, but it doesn’t show. This is probably the first time I’m staring right into his eyes. He has a piercing gaze. Like he can read my mind.
Can he?
“See, you don’t talk. Maybe you just don’t want to, or maybe it’s hard to. So I thought I’d buy you something. It’s not good to keep everything bottled up inside, ne?”
He reaches into the plastic bag he’s been carrying and takes out a happy coloured, wrapped present. He takes away the breakfast tray and lays the present down on my lap, since I still haven’t responded.
“Open it,” He says softly.
I do so. My hands reach out for the paper wrapped gift. I carefully undo the ribbon and the tape. When it’s opened I gasp. It’s a beautiful red leather-bound notebook.
I let my fingers run over its texture and smile slightly. I look at Die and nod a silent ‘ookini’.
He smiles at me. “Now you don’t have to talk to be able to let go.”
I nod and open the book as I let my fingers run through the empty pages.
“Oh, how stupid of me!” He suddenly says. He reaches into his breast pocket and gets out a silver pen. “You don’t have a pen. Here, use this one.”
He gives me his own pen. I hesitantly take it and nod again.
Die smiles again. “I’ll just leave you with your notebook. You can use that pen as long as you want. I’ll just get another one.” He is really kind. Why is he even doing this?
I look at the pen while Die was busy cleaning up my breakfast stuff. It’s a silver pen. I could see the word ‘Daisuke’ engraved on it with elegant letters. This is surely an expensive pen.
“Well, goodbye Terachi-san. I’ll bring your lunch in a few hours.”
“Shinya,” I say determinedly, surprising myself.
He turns around. “I’m sorry?” He looks a bit puzzled.
“Call me Shinya.”
TBC
AN: Well, that's the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed and that you'll leave lots and lots of comments XD The second chapter will be up in a few minutes XD Emma (edit: I fixed some text that was supposed to be in italics o.o)
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