Chaotic Tranquility | By : SereG Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 1201 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title: Chaotic Tranquility
Author: SereG
Disclaimer: Goddess, I wish they were, especially Gerard, but MCR is not mine. The narrator character is, though.
…do you believe in soul mates?…
A soul mate… every person has one. No matter what life they’re living, what time it is in, their soulmate will always have the same soul, even if everything else about he or she is completely different. When you find your soulmate, it’s as though you’ve found the meaning to life, as though everything all of a sudden makes sense to you.
In some lifetimes, you’re lucky enough to find your soulmate.
In some lifetimes, you’re not. You find yourself paired with someone who you love, who you would perhaps die for, but, deep down, it feels forced underneath it all… even if you don’t realize it.
When you first lay eyes on your soulmate, you know it. From the moment you see each other, there’s no fighting it, truly. It’s just… meant to be. Seeing him or her, you feel as though you want to know everything about them, but it’s also like you’ve known them forever, or, perhaps, knew them once, a long, long time ago… like you want to see as much of them as you can. Like you would give anything just to be with them.
Do you believe in soulmates? Truly, I do.
It all began about four months ago.
I’m an online writer. One of those people who spend most of their time staying in their house, in front of their computer, weaving fictional worlds, characters, and scenarios for the enjoyment of others.
I grew up differently from most other girls. Sure, I had crushes on boys once in a while, but I was never really serious about. I always liked music, not wanting to live without it, but I never obsessed over it, nor did I obsess over the groups and their good looks.
Basically, I was never one of those hormonal fangirls, one of those wretches who shriek in disgustingly high voices whenever they see the object of their desires. I may have found a guy attractive, and had a couple of posters in my room, but it never went beyond that. It was just eye-candy.
Like I said, I’m an online writer.
So that’s what I was doing ‘that first day’. I was typing on my computer, and I had my TV tuned to MTVH so that music was playing in the background. Typical for me, you know? When I’m in writing mode, it’s usually pretty hard to get my attention. You have to say my name several times to even get me to blink.
The music was playing. I was writing.
And then, a whispering voice was heard. It was weird… it cut through my writing mode right to my ears. I glanced at the TV, like hey, what’s that, then my eyes turned back to the computer screen. Next moment, though, they were back on the TV, completely locked there.
On the TV there was now a pair of eyes like dark honey seeming to be staring back at me, and it was like I couldn’t look away. As I watched the music video that was playing upon the television screen, the melodies and lyrics from the song wrapped around me.
And I was caught. That voice… so full of passion, of pain, of the thirst to make ‘them’ pay… Those eyes… I could see the dark, tortured soul behind them. The reason why is, it seemed… it seemed that those haunted eyes reflected my very own soul, not his. His soul was like mine.
That was the first time that I saw the music video, ‘Helena’. It wasn’t until the next time I saw the music video, later that day, that I was able to catch the name of the band which sang it. But that wasn’t enough.
The next day, I did a little research on the band. I had to know their names. Their real names. Especially… his. Gerard Arthur Way.
After that, they were everywhere I looked. I was watching Fuse, and I was able to see another one of their music videos. That night, I saw one of their concerts on the same channel.
And it still wasn’t enough, so I went and bought first one of their CDs, then the other.
I completely loved the music, every bit of it. The lyrics hooked me, it was so much as though I had written many of them, they reflected my own thoughts so much. I couldn’t stop listening to it, even when I tried. I couldn’t stop listening to… his voice. I was addicted.
My dreams were even haunted by him. I think you know what I mean. Everywhere I looked, I saw his face, and I felt a deep ache within me… like I was waiting, or something.
I was miserable, and I was overjoyed. It was like everything made sense, like I’d been about to give up, and from that moment he’d given me a reason to go on. But I was miserable, because I felt as though I loved him. I felt as though I loved him with all of my heart, all of my soul.
But I couldn’t, right? I mean, I didn’t really know him, I’d never even met him. It was like I’d just become one of those fangirls, yet I wasn’t.
I wanted to cry.
Do you ever stop to think, celebrities are people, too? Human, just like you and I. They dream, they love, they hate, they cry. So, of course, somewhere out there, they have soulmates, too.
Let’s say a singer’s soulmate saw him on TV. She would have the reaction that you have when you first see your soulmate, but what would hurt her is that she would have no way of knowing this. How was she to know she wasn’t just experiencing raving fangirl syndrome?
He haunted my thoughts constantly. I wondered what he dreamed of.
I had to go to a concert. I knew it. I had to see him in person. Maybe if I did, maybe it would satisfy this terrible ache within me, this terrible hunger.
Finally, I was able to, with my two best friends, Spike and Angel.
I was right up front when he was singing. The music was so loud, my ears were on the verge of bleeding, even with my earplugs in. But it didn’t matter. He was there, up on the stage, singing.
Sometime during his singing, his eyes fell on me once. He looked right at me. And maybe it was just my imagination, but his eyes seemed to widen slightly when he did. Then he tore his gaze away, never having stopped his performance, of course.
And maybe it was just my imagination, but after that, his gaze kept flickering back to me for brief moments during the performance.
They took a short break, and another band that was with them came up to perform.
I was watching this band with mild interest when someone tapped on my shoulder. Imagine my surprise when I turned around and it was a security guard.
What was going on?
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