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Giving up	By : fonulyn Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 875 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Giving up
- 1
Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the persons mentioned in this nor have any connections with them. I do NOT get any money from this, and it's written solely on entertainment purposes meaning no harm.

This is an old story, my first fic ever. A friend of mine asked me to write something about her these guys and I ended up killing her favourite. Like I said, it's old, but I wanted to share it anyway.

The // separates flashbacks and it's Kaoru’s point of view.
Please comment.

- Giving Up -

”I can’t stop the light from flaming the curtains white.”

***

The morning was cold. But I didn’t mind. It had been cold inside my heart for a long time now. A little over a year, to be exact. I still could remember the day of the accident like it was yesterday. It all started when we had a fight, me and Kyo. We almost never fought, but then I hadn’t been able to sleep properly for a long time, and I guess that I was just too tired. And it was a stupid fight, over some meaningless interview. Nevertheless, he was so angry that he didn’t come home that night. Neither the night after that. When I questioned him about that, he refused to tell me where he spent his nights. He even refused to talk to me. I was beginning to worry. I knew that I was the one who eventually had to give in. And so I decided to apologize. Finally.

Six days after our fight I came late to practice.

***

// ”Heyah!” I greeted at the same time as I walked in the room. I saw no sign of Toshiya or Shinya. Die was softly strumming his guitar and Kyo pouted in the corner, just like he had been doing for almost a week now. I ignored Kyo at that moment and walked right up to Die. ”Where’re the rest?” I asked, although I already knew the answer. Die grinned. ”Dunno. But I bet Toshiya is molesting our poor drummer.” I couldn’t help laughing. It was so usual. But then I remembered what I had to do. ”Eh, Die?” He gazed at me with an inquiring expression. ”Could you go get those two? We need to practice, after all.” He rose. ”Okay.” I smiled, eager to get him out of the room. ”Thanks. Take your time.”

As soon as the red-headed guitarist had left the room, I walked towards the little angry man sitting on the floor. ”Kyo…” I said softly and sat beside him. He refused to look at me. Gently, I took his chin on my palm and forced him to watch me in the eye. ”I’m sorry.” As soon as the words left my lips I bent down and kissed him softly. I closed my eyes when I felt him responding to the gesture. His arms wrapped around my neck as he leaned towards me. After we broke the kiss, he put his forehead against my chest and whispered ”I’m sorry, too.” Afterwards I thought that the moment was just like in some kind of crappy zero-budget romance comedy. But I didn’t care. Sappy or not, all that meant was that everything was all right again.

The rehearsal was over before I even realized. That shows how happy I was at the moment. I followed Kyo as he walked towards my car. Soon we’d be home, the two of us, nice and comfy. I guess we both were still a little giddy, because neither of us noticed the red car coming from behind the corner. I saw it first, and I realized that Kyo stood right in its way. I tried to grab his hand and pull him to the road-side. But then my worst nightmare took place in front of my eyes. The car hit Kyo, and his small body flew through the air. It was bizarre. He looked like he was a doll, that was thrown aside by a small girl who didn’t want to play with him anymore. He landed on his neck and stayed still. In a second I was beside him, and I saw a ribbon of blood on his face. //

***

I opened the hospital’s door and stepped inside. I nodded for the nurse, who sat in front of a huge table loaded with papers. She smiled and continued concentrating in her work. I was a regular guest nowadays. Sometimes I even spent the night beside Kyo’s bed, watching him sleep. Hoping, that he’d wake up and tell me not to worry. But my hopes were in vain. He hadn’t opened his eyes, not once. And everyone was getting desperate. No one believed anymore that he could wake up. You could say that hope was gone.

***

// ”Kaoru?” I heard his voice in the darkness. ”Hmm?” I stroke his hair gently. His fingers drew figures along my chest. ”You know, we could just stay here for the rest of our lives.” I smiled. ”Silly. You know we’ll have to get up eventually.” He sighed and managed to sound very disappointed. Still, I wouldn’t have minded if I had to spend the rest of my life there. Just being with him. //

***

Just two days before, the doctor had come to talk with me. Apparently there had been too much pressure in Kyo’s brain for some reason. I didn’t really listen to the long medical explanation he gave. I just tried to fight back tears as the doctor told me that I would have to let go. Kyo wasn’t really living anymore. Medically, he was brain-dead. So, as I had the authorization from his family to decide of his treatment, it was up to me what to do next. As much as I hated it, I knew what was the only thing I could do.

I sat beside him, watching him intensely. There were no signs of life in him, except for the slight movement of his chest when the machine pumped air to his lungs. I felt a hot tear rolling down my cheek as I leaned down and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. I sighed quietly and turned the respirator off.

***

// ”Why are you looking at me like that, Kao?” he asked and gave me one of his rare smiles. I smiled and shook my head. ”Nothing, really. I just tried to memorize this moment.” He closed his eyes and walked towards the lake. Sun shimmered in his hair. The slow breeze caressed my skin. Peace of the moment was perfect. This is how it should be for the rest of our lives. //

***

It was dark, even the moon was behind heavy clouds.

I watched him tremble when the air escaped his lungs. His chest rose as he breathed one last time.

He was gone.
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Giving up