Why Did I Wait So Long? | By : Sykem Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > An Cafe Views: 1387 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of An Cafe. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title: Why Did I Wait So Long?
Author: sykem
Theme: 20. Fear
Rating: PG – 13 *gasp* I made something higher then PG (Yes, I know I said R on the thing, but I may write a sequel to this one day)
Pairing: Teruki x Bou
Disclaimer: I do not own this lovely pair; I only own the words I write
Comments: I’m giving special thanks to Aya-chan and Rei-chan for this one, they helped inspire me and give me ideas to finish it XP
Also, this was originally written for the 50Stories community on LJ
~~~~
“No! No! Please don’t!” his small voice rang out through the quiet room.
“Please don’t leave me! I didn’t realize it! NO! TERUKI!” Bou shot up in bed panting.
He looked around quietly realizing that he was in his bed alone, much like the way he was every night. He didn’t like it that way. He wished to share his bed with another, but he knew that that other was an impossibility.
Bou was in love with Teruki, the drummer of AnCafe. He had dreams every night about him. They were pleasant to begin with, but over time they turned out to be somewhat nightmarish.
He frequently was having dreams that his dear friend had found another because he had waited to long to tell him how he felt. Yes, he was afraid to tell him how he felt, because he wasn’t even sure if Teruki liked guys to begin with. He knew their friendship was strong and he really did not want to ruin that.
Realizing there really wasn’t too much he could do about it at 3am he lay back down and stared blankly up at the ceiling. He needed to get some sleep or he wouldn’t be playing very well at practice in the morning.
Bou rolled onto his side and slowly closed his eyes. He hadn’t really felt tired, but it didn’t take long for him to fall back to sleep. That’s when the dream started up again.
~~~
Bou sat on a park bench staring at the little kids playing on the play set in front of him. It wasn’t too much later that Teruki came and sat next to him.
“What are you looking at Bou?” Teruki asked softly so he didn’t startle the blonde that probably didn’t realize that he had rejoined him.
Bou jumped slightly before realizing that it was only Teruki that was with him.
“I’m just watching the kids play and remembering how much fun it was to be that young and not have to worry about anything” Bou answered somewhat melancholy.
It seemed somewhat different for Bou. He was normally so happy and energetic, but he just seemed so out of it.
“Are you alright Bou?” was how Teruki chose to voice his concern.
Bou let out a sigh and looked towards his friend. His eyes seemed so empty and he looked like he was near tears.
“I just miss not having to worry about specific aspects of my life. I wish I didn’t have to worry about how you would react if I told you something about myself.”
Teruki was confused. What was Bou getting at?
“Bou, I don’t understand. You’re my best friend and nothing would change that. What would possibly change my opinion of you?” Teruki seemed to be asking a lot of questions.
Bou chewed his lip in thought before he seemed to come to a decision about something.
“I’m so sorry Teruki” Bou softly apologized before leaning in and gently pressing his lips to Teruki’s.
Teruki gasped and jumped back in surprise. He was not expecting that from Bou. Since when did Bou like him like that? Since when did Bou take his flirting to be something so serious?
Teruki stood quickly and turned away from Bou. He felt bad as soon as he heard the soft sobs come from behind him.
“Please don’t go Teruki, I didn’t mean to scare you away, I’m so sorry” Bou sobbed out unable to hold it in. It was hard being rejected, especially after taking such a huge risk with his best friend.
Teruki felt a sharp pull at his heart as the crying increased in volume and he couldn’t stand to listen to it. He did the only thing he could do, and walked away.
“No! No! Please don’t! Please don’t leave me!”
~~~
“No! No! Please don’t! Please don’t leave me!” Bou screamed out as his eyes popped open for the second time that night.
Bou was incapable of stopping the tears this time and rolled onto his side and let the tears continue to fall.
By the time his tears stopped, there was no point in going back to sleep. Bou crawled out of bed and made his way to the bathroom so he could take a shower. When he reached his small bathroom he slowly pealed his pajamas from his body dejectedly.
He set the taps carefully, checking the temperature before turning on the shower head and stepping beneath the spray. The warm spray did nothing to relax him however. He felt so bad. Why was he having these dreams?
After a short shower Bou turned off the water and stepped out into the steamy bathroom. His skin was slightly pink from the temperature of the water, but that was how he liked it. He pulled a towel from the small cabinet in the corner of his bathroom and dried himself off. He wrapped the towel around his waist a slowly trudged back to his bedroom to get dressed.
Half way there he stopped dead in his tracks and stared in disbelief into his living room. There sitting on his couch was non other then the cause of his current state of depression. Why was he there?
Teruki looked up from the floor and saw that Bou was standing there staring at him a bit less then decently dressed.
“Sorry Bou, I was on my way to practice and thought I would wait for you and you gave me a key a while back so I just let myself in” Teruki explained since Bou seemed to have forgotten about that little aspect of their friendship. The exchanging of the keys had been a fond memory and now he wished it had never happened. He didn’t want Teruki to see him like this.
Bou just nodded and continued on his way to his bedroom. Yes he knew he was being impolite for not saying anything to Teruki, but he didn’t think he could handle himself just at that moment.
He quickly picked something to wear, nothing to fancy. He picked out a simple pair of ripped jeans and an old t-shirt that had the some American bands logo on the front of it. He decided that he had enough time to calm down and grabbed his hairbrush before joining Teruki in his living room.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, but as you could tell, I wasn’t expecting anyone” Bou explained as his sat down on the couch next to his friend slowly running his brush through his hair.
“No need to worry, It’s perfectly understandable” Teruki laughed before taking the brush from Bou’s hands and directing him to sit on the floor between his legs.
Bou sat down as instructed without even thinking about it. It did hit him though when Teruki began to brush out Bou’s hair for him. How many times had they done things like this and Bou hadn’t even thought about it? Maybe they were a bit closer then he originally thought.
When Teruki was done brushing out Bou’s hair he set the brush down on the table in front of them wrapped his arms around Bou in a loose hug. Bou was somewhat uncomfortable about this. He never was up until now because he was afraid of how he felt for the other and he didn’t want to be afraid if he ever found out he felt more then friendship for him.
Bou gently removed Teruki’s arms from around him and stood up straightening out his clothes. Teruki looked at him confused.
“Why did you make me let go? You never minded before” Teruki mumbled.
“I’m sorry Teruki, but you wouldn’t understand.” Bou explained before picking his brush back up and returning it to his bedroom. He grabbed his coat on his way back out and headed straight for the door.
“We better get going Teruki, we don’t want to be late” Bou stated somewhat mechanically.
Teruki was lost and somewhat confused. He had never seen Bou so out of it before. He was also confused why his friend thought that they’d be late when it only took ten minutes to get to the studio and they till had an hour to get there. He didn’t argue with Bou though, because something was obviously bothering the small blonde and he didn’t want to upset him.
Teruki followed Bou out the door and waited while he locked it and then headed down the hallway. Bou hadn’t been saying much and Teruki wondered if there was something he had done wrong.
“Bou, would you wait a minute and please tell me what’s going on with you? You’ve not been acting yourself this morning and it’s really starting to worry me.” Teruki stopped and waited for his friend to reply.
He didn’t expect the soft sob that he heard coming from his friend. He didn’t expect the blonde man to turn and face him with tears freely falling from his eyes.
Teruki quickly pulled Bou into a tight embrace. What ever had happened must have been bad because he had never seen him cry like this before. Yes he had seen him cry before, but it was over trivial things. Something had to be seriously wrong.
Bou pushed Teruki back as hard as he could, startling the brunette.
“I told you, you wouldn’t understand even if I told you” Bou shouted before taking off down the hallway of the apartment complex to the stairwell.
“WAIT!” Teruki yelled before taking off after Bou.
Bou didn’t wait though. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn’t want to explain things to Teruki at all. He was so afraid of ruining such a close friendship. He knew something like this could ruin everything. He could ruin many years of hard earned trust.
Bou wasn’t paying attention to where he was going anymore so he didn’t see the wet spot on the landing in front of him. He didn’t see it until he had slipped in it and had crashed into the wall in front of him officially halting his escape. He fell backwards and his ankle twisted in such a way that an ankle really should not twist.
“AHH!” Was what Teruki heard from where he was a few flights up. He quickly sped up when he heard the shout of pain that could have come from non-other then the guitarist.
When he reached the landing that Bou was on he found the frail guitarist clutching his ankle softly cursing to himself. He slowly approached the other man, who was still in tears.
“Are you okay?” Teruki inquired bending down grabbing a hold of Bou’s ankle and slowly rubbing it.
Bou whimpered slightly at the pain but pushed Teruki away non-the less.
“Please just leave me alone. Your hurting me more then helping me” Bou chocked out.
Teruki was tired of this and decided that he didn’t want to listen to Bou anymore and hugged the other man tightly.
“I’ll never leave you alone Bou because I don’t want to. I’m so worried about you. Will you please just tell me what’s going on?” Teruki sobbed because he to was starting to get a bit worked up in the middle of all this bizarre chaos.
Bou sighed heavily realizing he was not going to be getting rid of the drummer anytime soon.
“Fine,” he hiccupped, “But please, perhaps practice should be canceled, this could take a while.” Bou coughed out slowly, calming down from his near hysteria.
Teruki nodded wiping away the moister from his face. He pulled out his cell phone and quickly informed the rest of the band that there wasn’t any practice and neglected to give them a reason why.
Teruki looked to Bou and slowly picked him up because Bou was obviously in no shape to walk all the way back up the stairs.
Bou was a bit uncomfortable being carried like this by his friend. Maybe there were more feelings there then he thought. Maybe things really would work out in the end.
Upon reaching Bou’s apartment door Teruki had to fumble around a bit in order to unlock the door. Once that was accomplished he carried the blonde over to the couch before gently laying him down on it.
He sat on the floor next to Bou gently moving the blonde’s bangs away from his eyes.
Bou let out a content sigh. He could get used to these kinds of loving gestures from Teruki. He wished that the other would return his feelings. If he did then life would be more then perfect.
“Now would you please explain to me about your strange behavior this morning?” Teruki asked gently not wanting to upset Bou again.
Bou bit his lip and looked up towards the ceiling.
“Do you like anyone Teruki?” Bou asked softly taking Teruki by complete surprise.
Teruki nodded. “Well, there is one person, but I don’t see why you’re asking me this.”
Another small tear made its way down Bou’s cheek. “That’s what I was afraid of.” Bou rolled on his side away from Teruki.
Teruki was so confused. Was Bou trying to tell him something? That was when it hit him. Bou liked him. Bou was afraid that he liked someone else. That wasn’t the truth though, he liked Bou, no, he loved Bou.
Teruki gently rolled Bou to face him again, wiping the fresh tears from the beautiful blondes angelic face. He smiled brightly and Bou looked so small and confused.
“Don’t you see it Bou? Don’t you see how much I care for you? Didn’t you ever notice how I seemed to give you so much more extra attention? I love you Bou, I always have and I always will there never has been anyone else and there never will be” Teruki confessed before gently encircling the other with his arms.
Bou sniffed and smiled before tightly returning the embrace.
“I was so afraid, afraid that you didn’t feel the same way. I was afraid that you would be disgusted by me. I was so afraid that by telling you how I felt that our friendship would be ruined and I didn’t want that because I was so much happier having you as my friend. I didn’t want to suddenly be without you.” Bou squeezed Teruki with all his might not wanting to let him go now that he had him.
Teruki chuckled. He pulled Bou up into a sitting position and allowing him to cling to him. He understood that he needed this. He looked to the others face and pushed his hair back out of the way.
“I love you Bou, and I don’t want you to forget it” Teruki proclaimed before leaning in and pushing his lips against Bou’s warm soft ones.
Bou sighed happily and gently pushed back against Teruki. Neither of them wanted to break the kiss. Both were content to just sit there with their lips pressed together.
When air became necessary Teruki pulled back taking in some air but quickly found Bou’s lips pressed to his again. The kisses soon became more heated and Teruki found himself wanting it to go deeper.
He gently pushed his tongue against Bou’s lips asking him for permission. Bou granted him access and Teruki slowly slid his tongue into Bou’s slightly parted mouth. There he was greeted with Bou’s own tongue and the intoxicating flavor that was Bou.
Teruki and Bou pulled apart, both panting.
“Whoa” was all Bou could manage before he giggled.
Teruki laughed also before he pulled Bou down once again for another passionate kiss.
~owari~
Okay, so seriously, how was it. I honestly can’t believe I made poor Bou cry so much, but I’m so proud of this fic and it’s my longest fic yet ^.^ It’s also not fluffy, well, it kind of is at the end, but yeah, not as fluffy as the rest!
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