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Condemned	By : michellemasterson Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Depeche Mode Views: 1643 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Depeche Mode. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Condemned
- 1
Condemned

Rated R

A work of fiction by Michelle

No harm was meant by this piece of fiction it’s done in good spirit and for enjoyment only. I do not know the members of Depeche Mode, nor am I associated with them in any way. This is pure fantasy.

Prologue

Alan sat in the control room watching the rest of his band in the studio. One in particular kept his attention. Martin. Martin and the way he moved, the way he laughed, the way looked into Dave’s eyes as they sang together. He curled his lip in disgust. For ten years, he had waited and hoped for some type recognition from him. For ten years, he hoped that Martin would look at him in the way he looked at the other man. He was tired of waiting.
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He saw his first glimmer of hope when Dave got into the drug scene. He saw the confusion in Martins eyes when Dave would rebuff him for the party that would inevitably be waiting for him. He heard the screaming that would follow when Dave returned to Martin, wasted and defiant. He felt the chill when they would try to work together after the fights. He saw the pain in Martins eyes when he would watch Dave walk away. Finally, he was beginning to see the inevitable signs of disgust in Martin’s eyes.

Alan walked through the stadium waiting for rehearsal to begin. Martin and Andy were on stage setting up the instruments. He watched them as they laughed and teased each other. They had an easy relationship and had been friends for a very long time. Alan watched them for another moment and joined them onstage. Martin looked up when he heard him approach. He smiled brightly at him and Alan felt the familiar flutter just below his ribs. “Are we almost ready to begin?” He asked walking over to his keyboards. Andy snorted and said, “Yeah just waiting on our illustrious star again.” Martin shot him a look of annoyance. Alan rolled his eyes as he took off his jacket. “Where is he? Did he have a date with the needle again?” He saw the brief flash of pain in Martins eyes and instantly regretted his remark. Martin cleared his throat and said, “Well we could rehearse some of the instrumental pieces. We can do the vocals when Dave gets here.” Alan raised an eyebrow and looked over at Andy. Andy shook his head slightly, silently asking Alan not to push it. Alan shrugged and turned the synthesizers on. He was never one for subtleties though. “Have you talked to him Mart? Is he sober enough to rehearse, because if he’s not…” Alan started.

“Yes I am sober enough Alan, thanks for your concern,” Dave said as he walked onto the stage. Alan turned around and grinned at him. “Good to see Dave, because we were going to start without you. You know Mart has a damn good voice. We can always have him sing if you’re not feeling up to it.” Dave glared at him angrily, “Fuck you Alan,” He said as he walked toward him clenching his fist. Andy came over and stood between them, “Come on you guys, can’t we just get started?” Dave backed off and threw his jacket in a corner still glaring at Alan. Alan shrugged and started to play.

They rehearsed for several hours when Andy finally called for a break. “Ok its sounding really good, why don’t we break for the night? We can rehearse a little more tomorrow before the show.” There was a collective sigh of relief and Andy laughed. He was the unofficial head of the band, and he worked everyone hard. Always wanting to do just a little more. Dave sat on the edge of the stage, exhausted. Alan watched Martin put his guitar away and then walk toward Dave. He decided to join them and reached a hand out to Dave. “Dave, I wanted to apologize for my remark earlier. It was uncalled for.” Dave looked up and took the offered hand. “Forget about it Alan, I’m sorry I was late.” Martin watched the two of them and smiled. Alan looked at him out of the corner of his eye, and he knew he had scored points for graciousness in Martins eyes. “I’m going to go get a drink; do you two want to join me?” He asked them. Dave looked at Martin and said, “You go ahead Mart, I have some things I need to do.” Martin looked at Dave suspiciously. “Don’t fret your pretty head Mart, I’ll be back soon. I promise.” Dave said sighing dramatically as he stood up. Martin watched him walk away in disgust. “I swear, one day he’s not going to find me waiting for him. One day he’ll come to the room and find me wrapped around someone else.” Alan smirked and took Martins elbow. “Forget about it. Let’s go have a little fun.” Martin threw his arm around Alan’s shoulder and said, “I’m all for that. I could use a good stiff drink.” Alan felt the weight of Martins arm around him, and fought back a shiver.

They arrived at a local nightclub and looked for an empty table. The music was thumping, and the smoke was thick. Martin grinned and grabbed Alan’s hand. “Come on, there’s a table over there in the corner. Alan signaled for a server and sat down across from Martin. His eyes drinking in lushness of the other man’s mouth as he watched Martin singing to the music that played. Their drinks arrived and Martin smiled up at the server in thanks. Alan felt a white-hot stab of jealousy and quickly slammed his drink. Martin looked at him and laughed, “I think my friend here needs another, in fact, just bring us the bottle.” Alan quirked his eyebrow and asked, “Plan on getting plastered tonight Mart?” Martin grinned and said, “why the fuck not? Maybe I’ll even get laid. Fuck Dave and his habit. I can have some fun too.” Alan lifted his glass in salute and drank it down.

They finished off their current bottle of vodka and signaled for another. Alan stood up and staggered a little. “I have to piss, I’ll be right back. I want to dance when I get back, so finish up your drink.” Martin laughed and tilted his head back exposing the tender flesh of his throat. Alan’s mouth went dry and he licked his lips. Martin looked up at him “I thought you had to piss?” Alan shook himself and laughed, “Oh yeah, ok be right back.” Martin watched him walk away admiring the way his pants clung to his long legs. He shook his head a little, and wondered why he never noticed how attractive he was. The server came over with the second bottle of vodka and noticed he was alone. She quickly undid another button on her blouse, and hiked her skirt up another inch. “Hi sweetie, where’s your friend?” She asked as she sat down next to him. Martin smiled at her, taking in the cleavage she exposed for him. “He’ll be back in a bit. What’s your name?” He asked leaning forward on one elbow. She poured him a drink from the bottle,” Grace, what’s yours?” She said as her eyes moved down his body.

Alan wound his way through the crowd, heading back to their table. He saw the server sitting with Martin, and he gritted his teeth in annoyance. He watched Martin smile at her as he came into hearing distance. “That’s a very pretty name Grace, I’m Martin.” He heard Martin say. He walked up behind him and put his hand on Martins shoulder. “And I’m Alan, and if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to dance a little.” She blushed in embarrassment. “Oh sure I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were here together.” Martin looked up at Alan and saw the cold look he was giving the waitress. He raised his eyebrow and wondered what had gotten into him. She fled from the table and Alan pulled Martin to his feet. “What the hell was that about Alan?” He asked searching his eyes. Alan got his annoyance under control and tried to laugh it off. “Nothing Mart, just wanted to dance.” Martin looked at him closely then shrugged, “so let’s dance then. But if I don’t find someone to sleep with you’ll have to oblige me.” He said laughing. Alan grinned and pulled Martin out on to the dance floor. “I bet Dave would love to come home and see that.”

They danced for a while and then went back to the table. Alan poured himself another drink and refilled Martins glass. Martin wiped the sweat off his forehead, and took a deep breath. “Damn, I haven’t danced that much in a long time.” He said as he picked up his drink. Alan grinned and said, “You must be getting old, Mart.” Martin laughed and said, “Piss off, you’re older than me!” They heard the familiar strains of one of their songs starting up and they laughed. Martin stood up and pulled Alan to his feet, “Let’s see how well you can keep up with me. I’m somewhat familiar with this song.” Alan laughed with him as they danced to ‘Stripped’. The song ended and segued into a slower song. Alan stepped back and turned to go back to the table. Martin grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “Where are you going? I thought you wanted to dance.” He asked looking up at him. Alan swallowed hard, not sure if he could dance closely with Martin, without embarrassing himself. He decided to take the chance and hold Martin while he could.

Taking a deep breath and put his arms around him. They moved together on the floor, and for Alan, everyone else disappeared. His hands slid over Martin’s back as he pressed him a little closer. Martin wrapped his arms around Alan’s neck and took a deep breath. The smell of leather, soap, and Alan’s own unique male scent was making his head spin. He closed his eyes as he moved against him. Alan’s eyes snapped open when he felt Martin’s body sensually moving. He pulled back a little to look at him. Martin’s eyes were blazing with lust as he looked deeply into Alan’s eyes. His breath caught in his throat when he felt Martins hips grind against him erotically. Martin pressed against him and held his hips, swaying to the music. The song ended too soon for Alan, as Martin smiled mischievously and pulled away. He followed him back to the table, feeling a little stunned not sure if he believed what had just happened.

They sat back down and Martin squeezed his hand briefly. “Thanks Alan.” Alan looked at him in confusion. “For what?” Martin smiled and drained his glass. “For the dance, for the night out, for being a wonderful friend. For everything.” Alan refilled the glasses and tried to laugh off Martins comments, hoping he didn’t notice how much is comments actually meant to him.

An hour later, they were both royally drunk. They staggered to their feet and tried to hail a cab back to the hotel. Martin threw an arm around Alan as he tried to walk in a straight line. Alan watched him and began to laugh. He sniggered a little and said, “Stop laughing at me, I can’t feel my feet. Oh my god Alan, what if they are gone? How am I going to play tomorrow without feet?” Alan sat down on the ground and said, “Look Mart I found them! They were right here in your shoes the whole time.” Martin fell down next to him and clutched his arm as he tried to breathe through the laughter. A cab finally pulled up and Alan lurched to his feet. “Come on Mart, the cab is here. We can go home now.” Alan laughed as he watched Martin try to stand up. Finally feeling sorry for him, he yanked on his arm. Martin lost his balance and he slammed into Alan. “Oof that’s going to hurt tomorrow.” He said as he pulled the cab door open. They fell into the vehicle and Alan put his head back and closed his eyes. Martin told the driver where they needed to go and leaned up against Alan. His fingertips lightly brushed Alan’s thigh, and Alan’s eyes snapped open. He watched as Martin drew delicate shapes just above his knee. “Uh, Mart? I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Martin looked up at him and smiled evilly. “Oh I think it’s a very good idea, Al” Alan looked into his hazel eyes and caught his breath when he felt Martins fingers sliding along the inside of his thigh. He felt himself twitching in response to the light touch and he grabbed Martins hand. Martin was about to protest when they stopped in front of the hotel. He sighed dramatically and got out of the cab.

They wrapped their arms around each other trying to stay upright, as they staggered into the hotel. There were very few people in the lobby at that time of night, but Martin felt their eyes on him. “Everyone is staring at us Al.” He whispered loudly. Alan laughed and turned to look. “Don’t worry about it Mart, we get stared at all the time, remember?” Martin managed to push the elevator up button and said, “Oh yeah, I thought it was because we were a little drunk.” That made Alan laugh as he fell into the elevator. Martin followed him and nudged him against the back wall. He reached out a hand and slid it down Alan’s arm. “Do you want to have a drink with me in my room?” He asked with a slight nervousness to his voice. Alan reached out and put his hand over Martins cheek. “There is nothing in the world I would like more Mart, trust me. What about Dave though?” Martin cringed, he had forgotten about Dave. Alan saw the disappointment in his eyes and he felt a little hope in his heart. The door opened and they stepped out into the hall. Alan turned to go to his room, but Martin caught his arm. He pulled Alan against him and kissed him. The kiss was full of promise and sensuality, and it took Alan’s breath away. Martin pulled back and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow Alan. Maybe we can go somewhere after the show.” Alan touched his lips, still feeling the tingle of Martin on them. He swallowed hard and nodded.

Martin walked into his room and saw it was empty. Dave had not returned yet. For once Martin was relieved. He took a shower and got into bed. His thoughts returning to Alan again and again. He heard the key in the door and feigned sleep, not wanting to deal with Dave just yet. Dave stumbled in and turned on the light. “Hey are you still awake Mart?” He asked his voice slurred. Martin didn’t answer so Dave turned the light off and got into the bed next to him, falling asleep almost instantly. Martin could smell some woman’s cheap perfume on him, and it disgusted him. He pulled away when Dave threw his arm over him in his sleep. He finally fell asleep; the image of Alan’s flushed face as they danced, in his eyes.

Alan was having an equally restless night in his room. His mind returning to the kiss Martin had given him over and over again. Just beneath that memory though, was the simmering jealousy he felt when he thought about Dave. Just knowing he was probably in bed with Martin right now was driving him insane. He thought of several ways he could break the two of them up, each time discarding the idea. He knew Martin had to make that move, he was hopeful though that it was going to happen soon. He would just have to help Martin make that decision. He smiled to himself, finally feeling he had some control and fell asleep.

The next morning Martin got out of bed early and dressed quietly. He knew if Dave woke up he would be reaching for him, and for once Martin wanted to avoid that. He slipped out of the room and headed for the lobby. He knew Alan usually came down here early to read the paper, and he felt an overwhelming need to see him.

. He walked out of the elevator and looked around. He saw Alan, sitting on a chair with his back to him. He felt suddenly shy as he sat next to him. “Hi Alan, Did you sleep well?” He asked and shyly looked at the floor. Alan looked over at him and felt his heart skip. He cleared his throat and said, “Actually no, I slept terribly. I couldn’t get a certain blonde out of my mind all night.” Martin blushed and tried not to smile too widely. Alan watched him blushing and he laughed a little. “Want to get some breakfast, Mart?” Martin looked at him, ‘Yeah I’d like that.” They stood up to walk to the restaurant and Martin could not believe something as small as breakfast would make him happy. Alan kept glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, as if afraid he would disappear, or worse he would wake up. They sat down, ordered their breakfast, and tried to get over their nervousness. Alan laughed a little and said, “This is ridiculous Mart, we’ve worked together for ten years, and here we sit, struggling to find something to talk about.” Martin laughed when he realized he was right. They relaxed a little after that and talked easily.

They sat and drank their coffee slowly, neither wanting to leave the others company. Martin looked up and frowned slightly. “What’s wrong Mart?” he asked as he turned to look in the direction his friend was looking in. He saw Dave sauntering in and he shared Martins disappointment. Dave smiled when he spotted them. He walked over and leaned down kissing Martin just below the ear. “I missed you this morning Mart.” He whispered. Martin pulled away slightly and locked his eyes on Alan. Dave didn’t notice anything amiss as he sat down and draped his arm over Martins shoulder. “So, did you two have a good time last night?” He asked uninterested as he looked over the menu. Martin smiled and kept his eyes on Alan, “Yeah we had a great time. It seems we have more in common than we thought.” Dave looked up and said, “Hey that’s great, maybe you guys should hang out more often.” Alan smiled at Martin and said, “Yeah I think I would like that a lot.” Martin grinned and looked down at his coffee.

Andy walked in to the restaurant and joined them at their table. Alan moved over next to Martin to make room for him. “Morning everyone.” Andy said yawning. “Morning Andy, did you sleep well?” Martin asked as he tried to move a little closer to Alan. Dave sat up and reached for the paper. Martin reached for Alan’s hand under the table entwining their fingers. Alan smiled and looked over at him. Andy watched the exchange interestedly. Martin had been his best friend since childhood; he knew when something was going on. Martin looked over at him, shaking his head slightly. Andy raised an eyebrow, and discreetly looked away.

Dave and Andy ordered their breakfast, and Alan stood up. “I’m going to go work on some mixes for tonight. I’ll see you guys later.” Martin looked up at him, “Do you mind if I join you? I had a song idea this morning I’d like to work on.” Alan shrugged and tried to look nonchalant. “Sure Mart, let’s go.” Dave grabbed Martins hand before he left and kissed his palm, “I’ll be over there a little later to rehearse, don’t work too hard.” Martin pulled his hand away and smiled, “Don’t worry, I won’t. I’ll see you later Andy.” Dave tilted his face up and pursed his lips. Martin looked over at Alan quickly and saw him looking away. He bent over and kissed Dave quickly. “Love you Mart” Dave said offhandedly. “Love you too, Dave.” He whispered and walked away. Andy watched them a little more and was a little curious to see what was going on.

They walked outside and hailed a cab. Alan looked behind him quickly to make sure they were alone, and put his hand on the back of Martins neck. He felt him lean into the touch and it made him smile. A cab pulled to the curb and they got inside. Alan nudged Martin to the far side of the cab and slid his hands around his waist. He could not restrain himself any longer, capturing Martins lips in a searing kiss. Martin put his hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Alan felt Martins arousal as his hand stroked the inside of his thigh. It drove him insane, he poured all of his pent up passion into that one kiss. Martin groaned and put his hands inside of Alan’s shirt, stroking his skin and stoking the fire that burned within him. They pulled apart regretfully when they felt the cab stop. Alan raised a hand and touched Martins swollen lips gently. “I guess we have to get to work now.” He said shakily. Martin grinned and kissed him quickly. “I don’t even know if I can stand after that.” Alan pulled him out of the cab, and put his arm around him. “Just remember that the next time Dave kisses you.” Martin stopped and looked up at Alan, “Dave who?”

Several members of the crew greeted them as they walked onto the stage. Martin walked over and picked up his guitar, and a stool. He sat down next to Alan’s keyboards and waited while Alan turned his synthesizer on. He picked out a few notes as he watched him. Alan could feel his gaze on him and he tried hard not to smile like an idiot. “So, do you have an actual song you’re working on? Or was that just an excuse?” He asked as he sat down. Martin laughed, “Ok you caught me. It was just an excuse to be with you.” Alan smiled and reached over squeezing his knee briefly. “That’s Ok; I already had a plan for getting you down here with me too.” Martin grinned and started playing ‘one Caress’, Alan picked up the song and played along. They practiced for a while adding new sounds, and laughing as they sang off key. Martin put his guitar down and stood up to stretch. Alan watched and reached over taking his hand. “Come sit next to me Mart.” Martin sat down next to him and picked at a few of the keys.

Alan reached his hand out and turned Martins face to him. He slid his tongue around the curve of his ear, under his chin, and along his bottom lip, enjoying the salty-sweet taste of him. Martin felt simmering desire relight within him as Alan’s hands ran over his arms. H His breath came out in a rush when he felt lips and teeth grazing over his throat. He wound his hands in Alan’s shirt and kissed him hard, their tongues twining together as they fought for dominance. Alan felt aching need consume him as he tried to catch his breath.

Martin pulled back slightly, nibbled gently on his ear, and whispered, “Let’s go somewhere a little more private.” Alan was up in a flash, grabbing Martins hand and pulling him backstage. They found an empty room and Martin pulled him inside, slamming the door behind him. He slammed Alan up against the door, his desire out of control as he pressed him against the door. Alan’s breath came out in a moan as he grabbed Martins hips, grinding against him. Martin needed to feel skin, the intense need briefly surprising him. He had never wanted anything so much as he wanted this right now. He pulled Alan’s shirt open and ran his hands along his chest before his mouth took over. Alan’s hands shook and he pulled Martins face up, kissing him relentlessly. Martin rubbed against him wantonly eliciting a groan from deep within Alan. He pushed the shirt off his shoulders, trailing hot tongue and shivers wherever his mouth could find skin. Alan’s legs shook as he arched into the touch, he felt Martins fingertips slide into the waistband of his jeans. Martin looked up at him, hazel eyes burning with desire, and begging for permission to continue. Alan found himself having trouble breathing, for ten years he waited for Martin, now he had him. His heart pounded in his ears as he looked into those beautiful eyes and saw the desire that was finally meant for him.

Dave and Andy arrived at the venue and walked through the stadium looking for the other half of their band. They walked onto the stage and heard the hum of the keyboard that was still on. Dave reached over and turned it off. “Well they can’t be too far. Alan never leaves his precious keyboard on. They must’ve left in a hurry.” Dave mused. “Let’s go look backstage, maybe they went to wardrobe.” Andy said as he looked around.

Alan reached down and stroked Martin through his jeans. Martin gasped when he felt Alan’s firm hand on him. He buried his face in his neck, sucking in breaths as he trembled from the touch. “Do you like that Mart? It can get a whole lot better you know.” Alan breathed in his ear. Martin shook with want as he grabbed Alan’s hand, forcing him to touch him more. “My, my getting a little anxious Mart?” he asked teasing him. Martin looked into his eyes as his hands fumbled with the zipper on Alan’s pants. “You have no idea.” He whispered.

Andy and Dave walked backstage calling out to their friends.

Martin slid to his knees, his hands traveling down the length of Alan’s legs as he gently tugged the pants to his knees. Alan looked down and wound his hands into Martins hair. He gritted his teeth in anticipation, his eyes dilated and his breath coming out in short gasps.

Martins head snapped up in alarm when he heard Dave’s voice calling out to him. He stood up slowly and backed away. “Oh fuck no!” Alan groaned painfully. “I’m so sorry Alan. I can’t let him find out about us like this. I just can’t. I owe him that much.” Alan pulled his pants back up angrily. “You better talk to him, and soon.” He said running a hand through his hair. Martin reached out and touched his face, “I will I promise. Tonight after the show, I’ll tell him it’s over.” Alan backed away from him, “please, don’t touch me right now. I don’t think I can handle it.” He pulled open the door in his frustration, pushing past Dave and Andy. Martin watched him leave and felt the pain in his heart claw at him.

Dave walked in and saw the flushed face of his lover. “What’s the matter Mart?” he asked concerned. “Where’s Alan going? We need to rehearse.” Martin tried to get his emotions under control as he bit his lip. Dave pulled him into a hug and stroked his back. “What’s going on Mart, why are you so upset?” Martin buried his face in Dave’s shoulder and tried to catch his breath. “It’s nothing, just an argument.” He lied. He felt Dave tense against him and he pulled back to look at him. He saw the anger in his eyes, “I’ll fucking kill him. How dare he do this on a show night.” Dave said clenching his fist. “No please Dave, it’s ok. I handled it. I’m alright now.” Dave searched his eyes, taking his face in his hands. “I hate seeing you upset like this.” He kissed him gently and rested his cheek against his head. “I love you so much Mart, I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting. Waking up alone this morning, made me realize just how much I take you for granted sometimes. Thank you for standing by me. I would surely go off the deep end if it wasn’t for you.” Martin felt guilt and shame burning within him.

Alan slammed the men’s room door open and stalked inside. He picked up the trashcan and threw it against the wall in his frustration. He went into a stall to try to take care of the painful erection he still had. Muttering dark curses and angry words aimed at Dave as he felt his release spill over his hands. He sighed in relief and cleaned himself up.

Andy followed Alan into the men’s room. He leaned against the sink and crossed his arms over his chest, as he listened to him cursing. Alan walked out of the stall and stopped short when saw Andy. He felt himself blush as he pushed past him to wash his hands. “Want to tell me what’s going on, Al?” Andy asked evenly. Alan looked over at him, “Nothing is going on Andy.” Andy looked him in the eyes. “Don’t be fucking with the group dynamics now Alan. This hellish tour is almost done, wait until it’s over.” Alan fell his anger creep back in. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said through clenched teeth. “Martin. That’s what I mean. He and Dave have been together for ten years Alan, I know they are going through some rough times right now, don’t take advantage of it. I have nothing against the two of you hooking up; whatever makes Mart happy is fine with me. But not while we’re on tour! We need Dave and his voice; we need Mart with his full attention on his performance. Don’t fuck with it now.” Andy said feeling his own anger creep in. Alan turned away, “And what about me? You expect me to just step back after ten years of waiting for him? I finally manage to get a little happiness and I should just walk away? Do you even know what you’re asking?” Andy looked at him anxiously. “I’m not asking you to walk away Alan, just to hold off for a bit more, if Mart is ready to leave Dave, I’ll be the first to congratulate you. Please just think about what I said, think about how hard the rest of the tour would be if they broke up now.” Alan looked down at the floor and nodded briefly. Andy smiled in relief and squeezed his shoulder. “Thank you” He said and turned to leave. Alan sneered as he watched him leave and whispered, “Yeah right, there is no fucking way I’m backing off now.”

Dave wrapped his arms around Martins waist and captured his lips in a possessive kiss. Martin felt his guilt mounting, his body reacting in a way to Dave that still left him breathless. Dave deepened the kiss, taking full possession of him. It sent a thrill of desire through him as he felt Martin giving himself to him. The possession of this beautiful man always made him weak, even after ten years. No thoughts of anyone or anything entered into Martins head as he responded to Dave and to his love.

Dave pulled back and stepped away from him, and took his hand in his. “Come on, we better get out on stage before Andy comes looking for us.” He said as he led Martin out of the room. Martin walked next to him, and slid his arm around his waist. Dave put his arm around him and pulled him closer as they walked. “So what is it you and Alan were
arguing about?” Dave asked looking out over the stage. Martin’s breath caught in his throat. He had forgotten all about Alan and their encounter. Dave had successfully pushed any errant thought of anyone else out of his head completely. Dave waited for his answer, looking down at him curiously. Martin tried to shrug it off, “its not important Dave, forget about it.” He said looking up at him. “Ok, I’ll drop it for now Mart, but I think the two of you should talk it out before the show. I don’t want to see you stressed anymore than necessary.” Dave said as he picked up the microphone. Martin picked up his guitar and sat down on the edge of the stage picking out notes to check the sound. Dave sat next to him and waited for him to finish.

Alan watched them, unseen from the back of the stage. He felt his jealousy reawaken at their closeness. He thought it was time to remind Martin about his other options. He walked over to his keyboards and flicked it on. Dave heard the hum of the keyboards and looked over. He saw Alan and then jumped to his feet. Martin watched him nervously as he made his way over to him. “I think you and Mart need to work out your differences before the show tonight.” Dave said crossing his arms over his chest. Alan looked at him coldly. “And what differences would those be Dave?” Dave jerked his head in Martins direction, “Mart told me you guys were arguing about something, what did you say to upset him like that?” Martin walked over to join them. Alan watched him, his eyebrow raised. “It was not a big deal Dave, we worked it out. Mart can be pretty passionate about some things.” Martin blushed at the innuendo smiling at Alan. “Good, glad to hear it Alan. Now why don’t you two kiss and make up so we can get on with the rehearsal.” Dave said offhandedly. Alan stood up and grinned mischievously. He quickly grabbed the front of Martins shirt and pulled him close, kissing him hard. Martin put his hands on his chest to try and stop him, and found his hands clutching at him instead.

“Whoa, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Dave said pushing Alan away from Martin. Alan grinned and wiped his mouth off. “Just doing as you asked Dave.” He said sarcastically. Martin stepped back a little, trying to still his shaking hands. Dave grabbed Alan by the shirt and shook him a little, “Don’t you ever put your hands on him again, do you hear me. Ever, I will fucking kill you!” Alan pushed his hands away, his anger flaring. “Always playing the bad ass aren’t you Dave? Well you don’t scare me.” Alan said stepping closer to Dave. Martin grabbed Dave’s arm when he saw him clenching his fist. “Come on you guys, stop it. We need to rehearse; we don’t need you two killing each other.” Dave shook him off his eyes glittering angrily. “No one touches you like that, Mart. You’re mine, and the sooner he learns that the better.” Martin felt a combination of thrilling desire at his possessiveness, and annoyance at his tone. Alan watched the exchange, and saw the desire flare in Martins eyes. He felt a million things breaking inside him, his dreams, his deepest desires, and mostly his heart.

Dave turned and stalked off the stage, trying to get his anger under control. Martin stood for a moment longer, searching Alan’s eyes and seeing the pain there. He realized at that moment just how much Alan cared. He reached out tentatively and took his hand. “I’m sorry Alan. I never meant to hurt you.” Alan pulled away and took a deep breath. “I just want to know Mart, am I wasting my time? Or is there any possibility for us?” He asked him. Martin thought about it. He thought about his past with Dave, and the love they had shared. He also thought about all of the times he would wake up alone and cold. He decided he had had enough. It was time for him to move on. He smiled brilliantly, “That depends, could you maybe try and be a little more discreet when Dave’s around? At least until after the tour is over?” Alan laughed and leaned forward to kiss him quickly. “I can try, but after this tour you’ll be mine, and mine alone.” Martin grinned in relief, “I think I would enjoy that.”

Dave pushed past Andy and walked outside to get some air. Andy saw his infuriated look and turned to follow him. “Dave, what’s going on?” He asked as he caught up to him. Dave stopped and ran his hand through his hair. “Nothing Fletch, just a little pissed at Alan right now.” Andy looked at him in sympathy. He knew the two of them never did get along very well, and he wondered what set Dave off this time. “Just give me a few minutes, we can start rehearsal then.” He said leaning up against a wall and lighting up a cigarette. Andy turned and went back inside. He walked onto the stage, saw Martin and Alan together and thought he knew what must have set Dave off. He was annoyed that Alan didn’t back off as he had promised. He shrugged to himself, tired of playing referee, deciding to let them work it out for themselves.

After the show that night Dave fell onto the sofa exhausted. Alan walked past him and tossed him a towel. “Excellent performance tonight Dave, one of your best.” Dave looked up at him and saw his sincerity. “Thanks, Alan. I’m sorry about earlier, I just see red whenever someone touches Mart. I can’t seem to help it.” Alan sat next to him and turned to look at him. “I’m sorry too, for some reason you bring out the asshole in me. If Martin were mine, I would react the same way.” Dave laughed and sat back. Martin walked by and Dave reached out grabbing his hand. “Come sit with us Mart.” Martin looked at the two of them, Dave with his head back still breathing a little hard from performance. Alan sitting next to him, with his arm flung over the back of the sofa, a sexy grin on his face, as he looked Martin over. Martin returned the grin, and slid between them. Dave took his hand and sighed tiredly closing his eyes. Alan took the brief opportunity to press his thigh against Martins.

“So, what are your plans tonight Dave?” Alan asked him nudging Martin just a bit. Dave sat up and looked around. “Actually there is somewhere I need to go, you don’t mind do you Mart?” He asked looking over at him. Martin scowled a little and said, “How long are you going to be gone?” Dave sighed and said, “Not long, you don’t have to wait up though.” Alan watched smirking slightly. Martin stood up and looked down at him, “Enjoy yourself Dave, but don’t expect me to wait for you.” Martin said and walked away. Dave threw the towel in frustration, “Damn him! Why does he always have to be like that?” He said looking at Alan. Alan shrugged and said, “He seems a little upset, maybe you should go after him Dave.” Dave sat rubbing his arm; he needed a fix badly. “No, he’ll be fine, and I’m not worried about it. Let him cool off tonight, by tomorrow he’ll have gotten over it.” Dave said as he gestured to someone. “See you later Alan, my appointment just showed up.” He said laughing as he took the arm of someone else. Alan smiled to himself and stood up to go find Martin.

Martin watched Dave walk off with someone else, and he knew it his heart he had made the right decision. He saw Alan stand up and look around. He grinned and walked up behind him, sliding his arms around his waist. Alan jumped a little and turned around. “That was bloody brilliant, Alan” Martin said laughing. Alan grinned down at him, “Thank you, I can be a right bastard when I want to be. Now let’s get out of here, there is some unfinished business we need to take care.” Alan said pulling Martin to the exit. Martin gripped his hand tightly stopping him. “The hotel is too far away, let’s go to the dressing room.” He said pulling him in the opposite direction.

Alan nudged the door open with his shoulder, not wanting to lose any contact with Martin. He pulled him inside and looked around to make sure they were alone. Martin slid his hands up Alan’s chest and moved in close to him, nudging him against the wall. Alan caught his breath as he felt the heat of Martins body against him. Martin leaned in tasting the rough skin of Alan’s throat as his fingers unbuttoned his shirt. Alan felt his hands shaking as he ran them over Martins back. “Mart wait…I want to tell you something.” He said his voice trembling with barely contained lust. Martin pushed the shirt off his shoulders and bit his shoulder gently. “Hmmm what’s that Alan?” He asked as his tongue found a sensitive spot just under the collarbone. Alan gasped when he felt Martins hips grinding into his. “Mart please let me say this.” Martin smiled against his chest and swirled his tongue over one perfectly hardened nipple. “So talk, I’m listening.” He whispered blowing gently against the peak. “I uh I oh my, that feels good.” Alan stammered. Martin laughed gently, “well thank you for your approval, now tell me how this feels.” He said and ran his tongue up the center of his chest and under his chin. Alan was having a hard time concentrating on what he wanted to say as his breath hitched in his chest. Martin looked into his eyes, and licked the tip of his nose. Alan gasped, he had never thought that would be erotic, but everything Martin was doing was making his eyes roll into the back of his head. “You wanted to tell me something, Al?” He whispered over his cheek, while his hands felt for the zipper of Alan’s pants. “It can wait.” Alan sighed as he slid Martins shirt off.

Dave was on his way out of the door when he realized he had left his jacket in the dressing room. “Hold on you guys, I need to get my jacket. I’ll be right out.” He called to his friends. He jogged back to the dressing room and opened the door. He looked in and saw Alan leaning against the wall, obviously engaged in something he would rather not see. “Oh geez, sorry Alan. I didn’t think anyone was in here.” He said averting his eyes. It took a second for him to realize who Alan’s partner was. He stood and looked again in shock. “I- oh, Martin?” He stammered. Martin took a deep breath and felt the tears prickling the backs of his eyes. Alan pulled his shirt back on and tried to stand up a little straighter. He turned around to face Dave. Dave felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach as he gasped. “Martin? What in the hell is going on? Why? How could you do this to me? After everything we’ve been through.” Dave said trying hard not to lose control of everything he held dear. Martin pulled his shirt on and walked over to Dave. He reached out his hand and Dave backed away. “Why Mart? That’s all I want to know.” He said swiping angrily at his eyes. Martin choked back a sob and whispered, “You are never there for me anymore Dave. I fall asleep alone, and half the time I wake up alone. You spend more time with your drugs than anyone else anymore, including me. I’m sorry, I never wanted to hurt you, but you just pushed me further and further away.” Dave felt his knees give out as he sank to the floor. Martin kneeled on the floor in front of him, and took his chin in his hand forcing him to look at him. “I have loved you for so long, and so much Dave, but I can’t stand the loneliness any longer. I’m sorry.” Dave reached out and touched his face gently, “No I’m the one who is sorry Mart.” He said as he stood up and walked out the door.

Martin stood there looking at the empty doorway for a long time, trying hard not to cry for him. Alan walked up behind and put a hand on his shoulder turning him to face him. “I’m sorry Mart; I know that must have been hard. Why don’t we go back to the hotel?” Martin reached his arms around Alan’s neck and clung to him for a moment, sniffing loudly. Alan held him tightly and let him cry. That night they lay together and held each other, neither wanting anything more than the comfort of a friend.

End
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