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50 ways to love	By : nekochannya Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > GacktJOB Views: 919 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of GacktJOB. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: I dont own Masa, Gackt, Ren or Gackt job. This is not meant as infringement of copyright, just the ramblings of a yaoi drunk fangirl.

Chapter 1 - Anger

“How could you do this to me! I’m not gonna let you! I’m through with you, you hear? God Damn it! I hate you!” the irate tenor spat loud enough to be heard clear to Fuji-san.

A collective sigh spread like a flood over three of the four men gathered near the private office where the ‘disagreement’ was currently in progress. Their dejected air and the shaking of their heads signaled their resignation to fate. Nobody dared to make a comment least they become involved, given the fact that one of the concerned parties, ie. Fujimura-san, was with them. Making an effort to ignore the racket going on inside the room, the men practiced mindlessly, waiting for the appropriate signal to begin playing together. By all accounts, it was going to be another one of those days.

“Seems like he didn’t approve of Gackt-san’s brilliant idea.” The man near the drum case, Totchi, drawled aridly. Somebody snickered.

“Keh, that’s gotta be the understatement of the century. There is gonna be hell to pay when he comes out. You know how he gets when he’s on a witch hunt.” A tall, blondish man, You-san, mumbled as he prepared for the coming onslaught, cradling his bow and violin tenderly.

“Come on guys, its only normal. Cha-chan knows it is so.” The smallest of the group, Ren, replied consolingly; his posture conciliatory towards the blond, thin man practicing his fingerings on the side.

“You know Masa always overreacts when things don’t go his way. He is all cute and nice… until he gets mad. Then his temper rivals yours, koneko.” The drummer replied from his corner.

The redhead's next comment was lost as a loud crashing sound came from the room. Wary eyes turned towards the door expectantly, waiting for the loser of this 'death match' to come out. The victor would stay inside to savor the spoils, while the loser left in a huff. That was always the pattern. A pattern that was becoming increasingly familiar nowadays.

Kicking the door open, a thin, dark-haired man burst out red-faced and cursing with gusto, fully intending to leave for places unknown. 'Ah, so the victor is Gackt-san... once again.' was the idea that ran through their minds.

“And just where do you think you are going?” Chachamaru, the newly appointed bandleader drawled distractedly, plucking at his guitar’s strings easily.

Stiffening, Masa turned and glared knives in his direction.

“I’m leaving!” he answered stiffly, realizing just who was questioning him.

“Oh, really? Permanently, one can only hope?” Chacha queried with a discreet arch of his brow, not bothering to look up.

“Cha-chan” Ren warned, trying to disrupt the storm brewing between his band mates before it was too late.

“Stay out of it, koneko! It’s high time somebody informs Miss High and Mighty, she is not above practicing even if she just had a lover’s quarrel! We are too close to concert day to allow him to behave no better than a 5yr old!” Setting his guitar aside tenderly, he stood firmly before a visibly shaking Masa who tightening his fists stepped forward, growling belligerently.

“Out of my way, Fujimura-san! I am not standing around to hear your crap anymore!” he ground out, angry beyond words.

“Impressive words… usako-chan! Sure you can leave...” He answered with dulcet tones, before sobering up. “Right after I get an honest practice session from your hands not your ass.” He turned, intending to find his place once again. “He may be satisfied with your performance in bed but I‘m not with the one you do out of it… Brat!” he spat cruelly and turned away, dismissing him with ease, fully expecting him to comply.

A lone gasp pierced the air; time seemed to stand still in its wake as Masa threw himself at his nemesis, his catlike grace making it painfully beautiful to watch.

“Take it back!” he screamed as his fist connected with a compact body.

The surprisingly sturdy body blocked that first hit, but took the ones that followed in quick succession much to Masa’s satisfaction.

“I hate you!” he screamed as he poured his anger, hurt and pain into every punch. Hurt caused by the fact that He had deceived him with countless promises of never-ending love; anger at himself for having stupidly believed in his words and at Chacha for having shamelessly taken his place as first guitar just now; shame because he made a promise not to embarrass himself for love again.

His mind was in a muddle as arms pulled him aside while he kept flailing his arms half-heartedly. A grunt of pain, a muffled curse and then the feel of his back making abrupt contact with the wall brought him to his senses.

“Calm down, damn it!” Opening his eyes, he glared in confusion at a pissed Totchi.

“Stop it you fool, stay put! Why did you do that? Idiot! Let me see your mouth. Keep still koneko!” Masa’s eyes grew impossibly wide as his head snapped in the direction of the worried voices.

He could see Chachamaru hovering worriedly over a smaller figure. “Ren?” he whispered and separated from the wall to see the extent of the damage.

“Don’t make it worse.” Totchi warned somewhere to his left.

“Why? What happened to him? Why is he on the floor?” Masa asked with a troubled expression on his face, already fearing he knew the answer.

“You happened to him. He decided to step in the way of your fist and Fujimura-san’s back when you went nuts and tried to jump on him. His instrument was in his arms and you know how protective he is of it… so he couldn’t hit you back. More like wouldn’t.” Totchi shrugged with disinterest, used to Masa’s temper tantrums by now.

Livid, Chacha inspected the cut lip and the quickly swelling eye on the kittenish face before turning in on Masa. “See what you did? See? Soon he won't be able to see out of that eye, damn it! It’s two weeks before opening concert and your selfishness is-” A hand shot out to calm down the angry tirade clamoring to burst from his throat. Looking into his injured friend’s eyes, Chacha rebelled at what he saw there.

“Ren! Please! He must…” Shaking his head, the smallest member of Gackt job stood and straightened, automatically fixing the strap of his bass.

“Don’t worry. I’m fine, both of you. Please, let’s practice, ok?” he smiled tightly before flinching as his mouth protested the sudden stretching of his cut lip. He looked ready to faint but was too stubborn to let himself go as he waved You back with the first aid kit.

“Ren… I…” Masa tried, feeling if possible, even worse than he already did. He had hurt one of his closest friends. He gestured vaguely, trying to reach Ren but he wouldn’t make eye contact.

Turning away even though he knew Masa wanted to apologize, Ren fiddled with his amp, setting everything up so they could start practicing. ‘It’s not his fault. He was hurt and angry… He didn’t mean to… but…’ he tried to reason with his gut instinct to no avail. He had never thought his bunny Masa would one day turn on him. Out of everything that happened that hurt the worst. ‘Forget the cuts and bruises… he actually turned against us. Against me… Masa…’ Pawing at the moisture gathering in his eyes, he blinked quickly and turned towards Chachamaru.

“Give us the cue, Fujimura-san. Its time to start practicing, ne?” he commented soberly, transforming from the usually playful koneko to the serious musician they knew he was.

Masa’s heart lurched as he realized how close he was to losing everything he held dear: His music, the band, his lover, his self respect, his friend. Oddly, out of the things that mattered the most to him it was the thought of losing Ren, the one that ultimately shook his perception back into place. His heart contracted painfully remembering Ren had also lost his place as bandleader when Chachamaru entered the picture. Gackt’s eternal quest for perfection spared no one, not even Ren who was both his childhood friend and an accomplished musician. Contrasting sharply with Masa’s own reaction, Ren had stepped down gracefully as soon as the issue was brought to his attention, wanting only to deliver the very best to their fans. In that sense, Ren and Gackt were incredibly alike. ‘Both are terrible perfectionists’ he thought with a small smile.

“Minna… I am sorry, please forgive my selfishness. I… forgot my place in this band. Let’s practice hard today.” He said softly with an extra deep bow before making his way to his guitar with a subdued expression on his face. Nodding stiffly in acceptance they fell back on track and started practicing without their vocalist. He wasn’t needed today.

His mind ran in circles as his fingers played by rote. He would talk to Ren. He would apologize until Ren forgave him. He would accept Chachamaru-san as both bandleader and lead guitar like Ren had done before him. He would survive and live to tell about it. Ren would surely show him the way.

Four hours later, Chachamaru finally decided to take pity on them. Ren seemed ready to keel over as Masa left his instrument in its case and made his way towards him. Ignoring the looks he was receiving from the rest of his band mates, he approached the kitten cautiously, unsure of his reception.

“Koneko-chan… Ren… I…do you need me to drop you off somewhere? I mean… Can I help? I am sorry… ano…. I” he started unable to complete his thoughts as the unresponsive man before him continued stowing away his beloved bass, his movements sharp and stiff. His band mates seemed reluctant to leave, wary of his actions now that he had finally dared to hit their favorite. Masa’s stomach churned with aprehension. The dead expression he was seeing in Ren’s face hurt him worse than Gackt’s betrayal. Still he wouldn’t let go.

“Oi… you treat that bass like it was your lover! Don't ignore me!” he chided softly unwilling to let their friendship turn stale thanks to his temper. Ren stiffened and turned his eyes full of hurt and tinged with wariness. “Yeah… my lover.” He said with a fake smile and turned away quickly.

Daring to touch his shoulder, he felt him flinch away from his touch. “Ren-chan… please… forgive me, ne? I don’t know what to say to make you understand. I am sorry… I just lost it… I never meant to hurt you at all… I would never… I was just so angry…Gackt… he… God, Ren…Gackt…he… please… I am sorry...” He whispered, the cottony fabric muffling his words as he leaned against Ren’s hard shoulder.

Looking back, he signaled the others not to worry about him. Chacha looked ready to kill at any time, but a well aimed glance in You’s direction avoided that. Turning his attention once more towards Masa, he hugged him tightly.
“I understand. I am sorry too.” He said softly, waiting patiently for the others to leave. Ren’s words poured inside his soul like a cleansing balm, taking away the sting of Gackt’s words.

“Ren… please… I don’t want to lose you… please…” Masa hugged his toned belly tightly and sobbed softly, burying his face on the hard planes of Ren’s chest. Once there, he poured all his hurt into his koneko’s waiting ears, telling him of his hurt pride and betrayed heart.

Later, Masa promised himself, later he would take Ren home to put ice over his wounds, fussing to his little heart’s content over the wounds he had inflicted, wounds he wouldn’t forget nor forgive in a very long time. Later, much later, he would hold him in his sleep to make sure he was fine. But right now, he needed the attention that only his koneko could give. He stiffened. 'Since when is he my anything?' he wondered but chose to push the thought recklessly aside in favor of other more pressing matters. Namely, his koneko looked ready to keel over.

“Nyan… let me sit down… ne? We will talk… Don’t worry.” Ren whispered softly, a trembling hand slowly caressing the black silk that crowned the head of his favorite friend. Masa frowned and bit his lip, making the butterflies inside Ren's belly flutter wildly. Masa, it was always Masa... The one he couldn’t stay away from no matter what. He was shameless in his affection... in his love and caring... if Masa was at the giving end... he would gladly sit at the other side to receive whatever it was he was to receive... Happiness, anger, pain... it didn’t matter... Anything, he would do anything for his beautiful and sexy usako-chan… the secret object of his affection.
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50 ways to love