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Beautiful	By : Ravenx Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > the GazettE Views: 2156 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of the GazettE. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Beautiful
- 1
Title: Beautiful
Chapters: oneshot
Author: Ravenx (me, duh!)
Rating: PG
Warnings: some angst mixed with some sap; Love between two men; don’t like->don’t read
Bands: The Gazette
My LiveJournal: http://realm-of-ravenx.livejournal.com/
Pairings: Reita x Ruki
Beta: None unless you count me and I suck at betaing
Disclaimer: I don’t own The Gazette or any of the individuals in the band. I’m making no money off this so please no suing.
Summary: He is so beautiful. No matter the situation, no matter the time, he is still beautiful.
Notes: This came from a really bad day I had today. Nothing seemed to go my way and eventually I just ended up writing this and curling up in the bed. But now I’m up and ready to post. Hope you enjoy, its my first Gazette fic.

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He is so beautiful. No matter the situation, no matter the time, he is still beautiful. Whether it is in front of a crowd of our fans, singing his heart out and rocking his hips back and forth, or if its like now. His head nestled on his pillow, his eyelashes lying against his smooth cheek, his blond hair tipped with red sticking all over the place. How can one individual be so beautiful?

I want nothing more then to get out of my bed and walk the two feet to his, crawl under the covers with him and hold him all night long and for every night after tonight. But I don’t dare.

I don’t want to risk our friendship, to possibly even ruin the band. Besides why set myself up for failure? There is no way someone like him would want to be with someone like me. I’m nothing compared to him. He could have anyone he wants, a lot who are much prettier then me. And if he did want to date someone in the band I’m sure he would choose the gorgeous Uruha.

But as handsome as Uruha is he still doesn’t compare to our lovely vocalist, nothing could compare to Ruki. Especially me. I’m just the dorky bassist of Gazette, no where near as beautiful as he is. Hell, I even hide most of my face behind a strip of fabric all the time, even now, in the privacy of our hotel room I’m still wearing it.

I watch as he moves slightly in his sleep, the covers drifting down to reveal the top of his oversized tee-shirt, one of his hands fisting in the pillow under his head as he moves onto his side facing me. The moonlight seeping through the window causing his skin to practically glow.

I shift in my position, leaning back against the headboard of my bed, my eyes remain trained on him. The short distance from our beds feel like miles, I wish he were in my bed, in my arms, his warm skin against mine. I dream about that all the time. About having him wrapped in my arms when I wake in the morning, about kissing him goodnight after a long session of love making. But those are only my dreams, things I know will never happen.

He must be having a dream, he is moaning, tossing slightly in his bed as he buries his head in his pillow. I wonder if I should wake him, it doesn’t look like a good dream. But before I can move an inch he is sitting up, gasping for breath, his eyes wide open.

“Ruki, are you alright?”

“Reita?” His head quickly turns to look at me, his eyes running all over my form before letting out a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m…I’m fine. Just a bad dream. Did I wake you?”

“No, I haven’t been to sleep yet.”

“Why not?” He moves to sit in a similar position to me on his bed, the covers lying around his waist. How I wish he wasn’t wearing that shirt.

“Just can’t seem to sleep.” I can never sleep right when we share a hotel room.

“Oh.” He looks around the room for a moment, his eyes just glazing over our opened luggage, our cloths thrown all over the sofa on the other side of the room before taking another deep breath and looking back at me. “Do you mind if…can I…” He trails off as he looks to the floor between our beds, his lower lip disappearing between his teeth.

“Can you what?” Just ask it and I will try my hardest to give it to you or make it happen. All you have to do is ask. I want to tell him that but I’m afraid of the rejection, the destruction that will happen between our friendship and the band.

“Do you mind if I come over there?” His voice is barely above a whisper, just barely reaching my ears but I still hear him and my heart almost stops.

Please tell me my mind isn’t playing tricks on me, please tell me I heard correctly. He wants to come over to my bed, he wants to be in my arms. I know that isn’t exactly what he said but I can imagine.

“It’s just…I had a really bad nightmare and I just…I want…I don’t feel like going back to bed alone. I was wondering if…maybe you would…if you could hold me a little.” His head is still bowed down but I can still see the blush covering his cheeks, he is so cute like this.

“Come on.” I smile over at him, lifting the blankets from my body and moving over to make room for him. I’m glad that the band of fabric is still over my nose and cheeks seeing that right now I’m blushing almost as much as he is, I forgot I usually only sleep in a pair of my boxers, no shirt.

His smile lights up the room as he hops out of his bed, the over sized shirt falling almost to his knees, covering his own boxers. His bare feet bring him closer to me until he is crawling into bed, he waits for me to slide down the bed slightly before snuggling up against my chest, his head resting on my shoulder, his lips brushing my collarbone.

With slightly shaking hands I pull the covers over our bodies, my arm staying around him just waiting for him to tell me to move it. But he doesn’t, he just moves closer to me if that is possible.

I never realized how good he smells, a mixture of oranges and cream. I’ll have to pay attention to what type of shampoo he uses from now on. His arms wrap around my waist causing me to bite back a gasp. I don’t need to freak him out now. I like having him here in my arms, it’s as good as I always thought it would be.

“Feeling better?”

“Yes. Thank you. I know this must seem weird.” His breath ghosts over my neck, I can almost feel his lips brushing against my skin as he speaks.

“No, its gre…fine. I don’t mind. It must have been a really bad dream.”

“Yeah, it was the worst. I don’t want to dream of that again.” His hold around my waist tightens, his head snuggling more into my neck.

“What was it about?” I gently start to rub his back under the covers, I really wish he wouldn’t sleep in a shirt; I would love to feel his bare skin.

“I told…someone that I loved them and then…then they told me they hated me. That they could never love me back and then they…they walked away. They didn’t talk to me again, they didn’t even want to look at me.” I feel moist tears running down my chest, his shoulders shake as he cries.

I don’t like this. I don’t like Ruki crying, it doesn’t suit him. I want him happy, smiling, laughing. Even though it was just a dream I want to know who this person is. I want to go to them and beat them up for treating my beautiful Ruki like this.

“Who was it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does. Whoever it was is stupid for turning you down, for denying your love.”

“Reita, it was just a dream.” He chuckles lightly through his tears.

“I don’t care. Dream them or real them they shouldn’t hurt you like that. They would have to be insane to not want to be with you.” Okay so maybe I sound like someone insane for wanting to hurt someone from a dream but I can’t help it, they hurt my love.

“Really? Do you think that if I tell them in real life that I love them they would love me back?” His shoulders have stopped moving, his arms loosening slightly from around my waist but not moving away.

“I don’t see how anyone wouldn’t love you back.” I boldly rest my cheek on the top of his wild hair, my hand moving to rest on his covered hip.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you would be an amazing partner. You are kind, smart, funny, and of course beautiful beyond words.” I can’t seem to get my mouth to stop moving or the words to stop coming out. He must think I’m an idiot.

“You really think I’m beautiful?”

“Yes. The most beautiful person I have ever seen and to top it off you have the brains and ability to back it up. You are a full package, Ruki. The person who you love is lucky. They would get to have you all the time, seeing the Ruki that is for the public and the Ruki that is for private.” I want to be that person so bad I feel my heart breaking at the thought that he is in love with someone. I don’t even know who it is but I already hate them.

“Do you want to know who it is I love?” His voice is a whisper but I still hear him, I can only nod against his head as my heart shatters into a million pieces. “They are amazing. They know just want to say or do to make me feel better, to bring a smile to my face. They can turn even the worst day into the best day of my life. Just looking at them makes me happy. Seeing them smile makes me smile. They are smart and funny too. And he is also very handsome even though I don’t think he thinks that.”

He? Did Ruki just mention that he loves a he? No. I heard wrong. He didn’t…did he? He loves another man? Now I know for sure that my heart in destroyed. If it were a girl I would know I never stood a chance but now knowing that he loves another man means that he could be with me but chooses not to, that I’m not good enough for him. My eyes mist over as I continue to listen to him speak of his new love.

“He is so fun to be around. He can be serious at times but a lot of the time he is just a big dork but a dork I can’t stop falling in love with. The only thing that I can’t stand is that I can’t always see him. I mean I’m around him a lot but I never really see him. He likes to hide his face from the world and I don’t understand why because as beautiful as he thinks I am, I think he is just as beautiful.”

By the end of his speech, Ruki has his head pulled back looking at me, his dark brown eyes looking into my matching ones. One of his hands reaches up to untie the band around my face, the article of cloth falling down between us freeing my nose and cheeks to the slightly cool room.

“What?” My mind is numb. What did he just say? Is he implying that…no…could he?

“I said I think you are beautiful, Reita. I wish you wouldn’t hide behind that thing when we are alone.”

“You were talking about me? But…really?”

“Yes.” Suddenly I feel warm, wet lips on mine; our first kiss is soft and sweet, just barely a brush of lips before he is pulling back and looking back into my eyes. “Is this okay? If its not then I’ll go back to my bed and we can just pretend this never happened.” I see the hope and love in his eyes and it makes me want to hold him tightly forever.

“I want this. I want this more then anything.” I lean down, taking his lips into a deeper kiss, my arms wrapping around his small frame as I pull him toward me even more then he already is.

Ruki’s arms wrap around my waist again, his head tilting just slightly allowing our kiss to deepen even more, his legs intertwine with my own under the covers. After a while I realize that unfortunately as humans we need air to breath so I have to pull back, gasping for breath we look at each other for a moment.

“I love you, Reita.”

“I love you too, Ruki.”

And with those small, simple words my heart is mended, I am whole again, maybe for the first time in my life.

We snuggle up under the covers in each other’s arms, letting sleep take a hold of us. I can’t believe that this is happening. I can’t believe he is in love with me like I am with him. Finally I can hold him all night long, waking up to see his face the first thing in the morning and knowing that he is mine and I am his. I can’t believe this beautiful person in my arms thinks that way about me too.

I know this relationship has just started, I know that in the morning his thoughts could have changed, I know that this may not last but I’m already thinking about our future together. I’m already imagining myself holding him for the rest of my life like this, kissing him at every possible moment. I can see us making love until we are old and grey haired, fair from our lives as musicians living together in a peaceful neighborhood. And no matter how old we get, how many gray hairs and wrinkles we may develop I know that in my eyes he will always have at least one word to describe him.

Beautiful.

THE END
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Beautiful