Fast and Beautiful | By : Turbomessiah Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Dope Stars Inc. Views: 1042 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dope Stars Inc. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Victor
It's just your normal everyday academic week in high school. Right, nothing like a bunch of snobbish and close minded muthafuckers (there's a difference?) picking and bugging at everything that they decided they didn't like about you the moment they saw you were dressed all in black. By now, he was used to it. After a while you get numb to those sorts of things. What did bug him was the fact that there were no other Gothic people in the entire school. Even though it was a new school year, he was almost positive that no one like him would come to this wretched hell they call high school.
He just loved the way no one held the door for him, ever. He got to the classroom before anyone student was there or the teacher for that matter. Which Victor was almost positive was either some chick with that cheap bottled blonde hair color with some skirt she found on sale at some store he would never step foot in. Or a well-groomed look-at-me-I'm-in-a-suit-and-tie kinda man that would make fun of him everyday and tell him to get a haircut. Well he was close; the woman didn't look that preppy.
"Well hello." She greeted.
"Hi."
"And your name is?"
"Victor."
"Well Victor. Is that were you want to sit for the year?"
"Sure."
"Okay then."
That was simple enough. Victor thought. She doesn't bother me I don't bother her unless she likes me of course. But then again, all teachers like their students. Not by choice obviously.

Grace
Great, just great. His parents were making him move again. Not just anywhere, they had to move so he could go to some religious school. Grace doesn't have a problem with religion; he just doesn't like it when people force you to believe in something that you know you never will. Sure, a bunch of Catholics are gonna love an Agnostic. Well at least Darin was joining him for the ride. Darin likes trying new things. Or so he was told.
Grace took the last drag of his cigarette before entering the building. He wasn't sure if Darin would be in any of his classes but he promised to meet him in the front of the building at the end of school. Looks like I have history first. Great, four more periods 'till lunch. 'Always look on the 'Brite' side of things' as Darin always says.
By the time he got there, the class was almost full. He sighed and took the seat in the front corner.
"Well hello there stranger."
"Darin?"
Indeed it was Darin, waving and smiling frantically at him. Darin shoved his schedule in Grace's face and asked, "Do you have any of these classes?"
Grace smiled, then nodded. "I have every class you have!"
"Fuck yeah!" Darin grabbed his schedule back. "This is gonna be one hell of a year huh?"
"You bet your sweet ass it is."
Victor
By now, everyone was in class. Everyone was talking, getting caught up with each other, getting to know each other. Instead, he was busy scribbling mindless nothings into his notebook.
"Living another day in these plastic years
We are falling
What we are trying to save slowly disappears."
Victor glanced over to what he could only define as too loud laughing. Holy shit. Are there two Gothic people over there or am I just seeing things? What difference does it make anyway? Even they wouldn't want to talk to me. Gothic, preppy, they're all the same.
He had spent the next five minutes fighting with himself whether or not he should try to talk to them. Deep down he knew he wouldn't. As far as he was concerned, it was a lost cause. They seemed nice, but looks, as Victor knew, can be deceiving. He just wanted to get this shitty day over with and go home, or to his room to be exact. He wanted to be in his little closed off world were no one could hurt him or judge him. Where he could write and listen to music and read his favorite science fiction novels. Not in this stupid shit hole where he was forced to learn things that he knew he wouldn't even need later in life, or chose not to believe.
At lunch, he sat in the back corner next to the window, staring into the sky's bright blue depths. Depths that were almost too unbearable for Victor's eyes, so instead he decided to let his eyes dart around the lunchroom. His eyes just so happened to fix themselves upon the two Gothic kids from his homeroom. They looked so happy talking together, and he hated them for it.

Darin
"Shit we have gym next."
"Yeah? What's wrong with gym?" Grace asked.
"You like gym?!"
"I didn't say that! What I meant was it's sort of like a free ticket. You get an A for doing nothing basically. It's better than algebra."
"Well, that's true. But you get all sweaty!"
Grace took a giant bite out of his bratwurst sandwich. "Mmm, sweaty's not fun."
Darin really didn't want to do gym, but he wanted to be with Grace. While he was changing, he would ever so casually peek through the cracks of the stall door and if he was lucky, he would get to see Grace with his shirt off. Grace never did change his pants for gym; instead, he would put his gym pants over the skin tight ones that he'd wear to school everyday. Darin didn't understand why he would go into the stall to change his shirt. It wasn't that important so he decided that he wouldn't ask him. At that thought, the bell had rung and just like that, they were on their way to the gymnasium like a herd of cows being led to slaughter.
By the time they had got there most of the stalls were full, all except for the one in back that was broken. "Can you hold the door for me?" Grace asked.
"Yeah sure."
Grace went inside while Darin held onto the loose swinging door. Darin glanced through the small cracks of the shabby metal door. Grace was quick in changing his shirt, seeing nothing more than a flash of the darkened flesh of Grace's nipples and a glint of, silver?
"I'm done." Grace said. Darin averted his eyes to the lockers that were in front of him, trying a little too hard pretending to do nothing. "You okay?"
"Yeah, fine."
Grace was supposed to cover his lip piercing for gym, by now he knew all the gym teachers and they knew he didn't do much exercise during gym. It wasn't as if Grace didn't want to play sports, he didn't want some asshole jock beating the shit of him because he thought he looked like a faggot. Well, that's the price of being beautiful. Grace thought. Just as Grace thought that, just as he was making the second lap around the gym with Darin, he got tackled. His head hit the hard gym floor with aloud thump.
"Stupid faggot."
Grace ignored the dumb comment and began walking again with Darin as if nothing happened. Stupid fucking asshole.
As soon as the jock looked back at him, and he got tackled the same way he did Grace. Grace glanced over at the scene, and saw one of the most fucking huge men he'd ever seen in high school.
"Don't fuck with any of my people, you understand?"
"Holy fucking shit did you see that kid tackle Mark?" Darin asked.
"Asshole deserved it."

Alex
Stupid jocks. Why do they have to be so close-minded? Oh well, you can't let things like this get to you. He looked back at the two kids, then smiled. "You're welcome." Maybe I should introduce myself. He ran up to the walking men, sticking an open hand between them. "I'm Alex." He glared at the boy with the waist length hair with envy. "You two are…"
The boy with waist length hair took a step forward. "I'm Grace. This is my friend Darin." Darin gave Alex a crooked smile and threw up his hand in what Alex was sure was supposed to be a wave. "He's the shy type." Grace whispered sarcastically.
"I'll promise to keep note. So uh you wanna play some basketball with me?" Alex bit his lip while waiting for an answer. These guys look so fucking cool! They can be my new, or first, drinking buddies!
"I will if I'm on your team!" Grace looked a little too happy to get his revenge on Mark. Or maybe he was just spending too much time with Darin. Alex shrugged and gave the ball to Darin. Darin's lips pursed, finger tips gripped tightly on the bumpy surface of the basketball, eyebrows shot up to the middle his forehead.
"You think I play sports?"
"Bwa! Fine you don't have to do anything. You can get the ball for me."
Darin's face lit up. Darin's very animated, Alex decided. "Okay!"
For the rest of the gym period, the three spent the rest of their time talking about their likes and dislikes. The name 'Mark' was passed around more than a few times. Grace and Darin decided that Alex would come with them to Darin's house after school. He of course, could not turn that offer down. My first day with my drinking buddies! This day keeps getting better and better!
Grace
Grace noticed Darin glancing out of the corner of his eye at him the rest of the day. Whenever he'd catch him, Darin's body would stiffen with fear, then go limp again as he'd adjust himself in his chair and give his attention back to the notebook that was in front of him. Besides that, they were reading and scribbling things into their notebook just as they always did. Grace knew that they should be listening to the teacher but a B average couldn't be wrong. Not to mention that Mrs. Hobs was so fucking boring she made Grace want to rip his hair out. Oh and yeah, it was algebra. Nobody paid much attention to algebra. Why would you need to find every single angle to some oddly shaped triangle anyway? To Grace this shit was the easiest thing in the world, so it was a free period.
Ever so casually, Grace slipped Darin a note. Darin took it without his eyes ever leaving the teacher. Slowly he unfolded the lined piece of paper, which read: "So Darin, what do you want to do this weekend? I was hoping we could check out the bookstore. What do you think?"
Within a few moments Grace got the note back, "I'd love to go to the bookstore! Should we ask Alex?"
Grace wrote, "Sure. He seems like a nice guy to hang out with. He can be our bodyguard. LOL."
"He's energetic. Do you think he could stay still enough to look through a bookstore?"
"Maybe, I don't know. He seems like the type that can be either really quiet or really energetic."
"A real partier. You'd make great friends with him!"
"Maybe we should go out parting this weekend."
"Sure, sounds like fun. We can go to the bookstore on Friday then go clubbing on Saturday."
"It's a date." Just as the bell rang, Grace gave Darin one of his big smiles. From there, they decided to wait for Alex at the front of the school and decide together what they'd do over the weekend. As soon as they got outside, they were confronted by Alex; black backpack on his back and a large biology book that would take Grace two hands to carry, not that it was to heavy but it was so large.
"Hi guys! You have no idea how nervous I was that I wouldn't find you!"
"Well no worries, you found us!" Grace exclaimed frantically, hoping that somehow it'd calm Alex down.
And for some reason, it did. "Well let's go then! We walking?"
Darin let out a long aggravated sigh. He glanced at the bright blue sky before saying, "Yes. Grace and I are to cheap to buy a car."
"That’s okay. It gives us more time to get to know each other. You must feel at least a little uncomfortable letting an almost complete stranger into your house."
Victor
Victor was sick of having to sneak into his own house. If it meant avoiding his father, he'd do it. He just wanted to get back to his room where it was safe, where he'd be able to wait things out until it was time to go to school again. Of course, he wasn't a big fan of school but while he was there, he had all that time to himself. It would be pure paradise if he didn't have to deal with the assholes that went there.
Victor closed his bedroom door with a sigh. He threw his backpack onto the floor and let himself fall onto the soft comforter of his bed. The faces of random 80's bands stared down at him. Their cloths Victor so desperately wanted and knew he couldn't have. The lush and extravagant accessories that'd go far beyond his father's budget. Not that he'd buy them for him anyway. His father already hated the clothes he chose to wear. Hated what type of music he listened to. Hated that he wasn't on the football team, hated everything about him. Victor didn't care; he hated everything about his father. So between the two, it was fair game.
His mind kept jotting back to the two gothic kids at lunch. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that they were just as much assholes as rest of the kids in his school, he couldn't bring himself to believe it. Maybe they are like me. Maybe they're going through the same things I am. Maybe they could help me, be my friends. We could hang out and talk about how much we hated close-minded assholes like the ones at school, and laugh about how we'll become better people then they are when we're older. We'll make all the money while they'll be stocking groceries. Victor shook himself out of his dream. He knew none of this would come true, because they weren't really like that. No one would want to talk to a fucked up piece of shit like him. I'm so used of being alone, why should I change it now? I shouldn't give my hopes up to an impossible dream. God my life sucks.
Victor could have sworn his father had read his mind, because as soon as he thought that his father came barging into his room. "Where the fuck did you get this?!" His father was holding his not so hidden pack of cigarettes. Luckily, there were only a few cigarettes left in the carton so it wasn't much of a waste.
"Really, does it matter?"
His father walked right up to him and shoved the pack of cigarettes into Victor's face. "Yes it does matter where you got them from. If you stole them I'll-"
"I'm sixteen Dad I can get cigarettes if I want to!"
"Well as long as you under my roof you're not!"
"Fine then I'll start drinking like you!"
His father slapped his clear across his right cheek, leaving a red mark in the shape of his hand. Victor's inside of his right nostril burned from the impact. "If I ever catch you with alcohol, ever. They'll have to put you on life support."
Victor silenced himself. He knew when or when not he could win the battle. Today was not one of them. All he wanted to do was sleep the rest of the day away so that it'd finally be, thank Combichrist, Friday. He then would spend his whole weekend in the woods nearby his house, where he'd write and draw while smoking a ridiculous amount of cigarettes with the volume up so loud on his headphones the vibrations from them alone could wake the dead. The thought of the weekend made his eyelids heavy with dreams. Dreams of the fun times he'd have in his quiet place. Maybe I should build some type of house. Almost a clubhouse but more like an actual house. Or maybe…
As he woke up, he felt the warmth of the drool that had accumulated onto his pillow from the night before. Victor glanced at the clock and realized that if he didn't get up he'd miss the bus to school.
After his daily routine of picking an outfit that'd always match and putting on his makeup, Victor took his backpack and bolted for the bus stop. He nearly passed out from exhaustion running a full four and a half blocks, but he made it. Just as the bus pulled up to the stop.
The sudden jerk of the bus stopping brought Victor out of his half sleep. He sighed heavily and struggled as he got up from his seat. His body ached with sleepiness; it always did if he got to much sleep. All he wanted to do was read his book until it was time for him to go to his first class. That is, if the library isn't full of people talking about what shirt or CD they should buy this weekend.
Darin
"Have you heard of the band HIM?" Alex asked.
"Oh my god HIM rules!" Darin exclaimed. Maybe having Alex over wasn't such a bad idea after all. Darin didn't plan to have Alex over. Having Alex over interrupted his whole plan. His plan to be with Grace, for them to spend the weekend together. Now that Alex was here, he couldn't spend the weekend with Grace, alone. This weekend could've made them or broke them. Now he wouldn't find out, because Alex was here.
“Sorry to break it to you guys but I have to be home by dinner. My mom will have a fit!”
Grace glanced at his watch. “Alex it’s four thirty.”
“Well that means I have an hour and a half.”
“Six o’clock? Really?” Darin’s mouth was filled with Doritos. Bits of the corn chip found their way onto his lap. The bits were mindlessly wiped away onto the carpeting of the floor.
“When do you have dinner?”
“Grace and I have dinner around seven thirty.”
Grace dug his hand into the big bag of chips that rested on Darin’s lap. “That means I’m leaving at seven.”
Darin jumped a bit from the pressure of Grace's hand being pushed onto his groin. Grace didn't seem to notice what the bag was over. “You don’t live that far away.”
“I don’t want to lose my seat at the table. Mikko knows I like to sit where I can see outside. I swear that’s why he does it!”
Alex somehow weaved himself into the conversation. “Why don’t you just sit next to him then? I’m sure there’s more than one seat that has a window view.”
“That’s not the point! I called it my seat.” Darin laughed silently at Grace as he chewed his chips carefully. This to Grace went unnoticed. “The point is: all of this can be avoided if I go home a bit early.”
“Mikko’s cool.” Mikko was Grace’s brother. They were almost a spitting image of each other (except for Grace’s plucked eyebrows and makeup, and Grace’s hair was a bit longer than Mikko’s). Mikko would always tease Grace, just because he could. It was nothing hateful, just plain sibling rivalry. Darin could remember when Mikko pulled at Grace’s hair for eating one of his Little Debbie cupcakes. It was borderline catfight, two males cat fighting, with pulling at each other's hair and everything. They hadn’t talked for days after that one. Now matter how rough it got though, they still made up in the end.
“So, what are we going to do this weekend?” Alex asked.
“Friday we’re going to the bookstore. Then Saturday we’re going out to the clubs.” Darin noticed that Grace smiled when he said ‘clubs’. God how Darin loved that beautiful smile. That big bright smile that lit up that usually blank, unexpressive face. “Am I right?”
“It’s fine with me as long as you two are fine with it.” Darin knew what he told them was complete and utter bullshit. Darin wanted to go where ever Grace wanted to go. Wanted to be with Grace where he was most comfortable. Where he could ease their relationship into the conversation after Grace had a few beers to many. Maybe sneak a kiss or two. Wake up Darin, it’s never gonna happen. He’s your best friend! Your straight best friend. But still, I wonder what he’d say?
"I always wanted to go out to clubs!" Alex wrapped an arm around Grace's shoulder. "I love you guys!"
"Yeah well it's gonna suck trying to get to a club without a car." Grace sighed and took a sip of his root beer.
Darin could read Grace's mind like a book. He knew that he wanted to buy a van. A big black one like Zillah, Molochai, and Twig had. Then they could paint 'Bauhaus' in big letters on the side of it. A bed with soft sheets crumpled up in the corner. Where they would get drunk and make love. What the fuck am I thinking?
Before Darin could even think, he said, "Why don't we get a van?" I am such an idiot.
Grace
"That's great Darin but we don't have any money."
"A used one can't be that much." Darin shoved more chips into his mouth.
“You suppose we get some shit van just so we can drive to a club for one weekend? That’s just a waste of money.”
“Well, not something that shitty. Maybe just a black van I don’t know.”
“It doesn’t have to be black. Why don’t we get whatever’s cheapest then just paint it.” Alex suggested.
“Fine, a van it is.” Grace’s features slumped. “Now who’s going to pay for it?”
“We can split it three ways.” Just as Alex finished what he said, his cell phone rang. “Hello? What? Come on it’s only five. Agh, fine. I’ll be home. Bye.”
“What’s wrong Alex?” Grace asked.
“My mom wants me to come home early.”
“Well, that sucks.” Darin commented.
“She’s right outside so I don’t have to walk home. Guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
Grace and Darin both waved at Alex as he left for his mother’s car. They could hear him yell outside the door, “I can’t wait until the weekend!”
“He’s an energetic one.” Grace said with a sigh.
“Tell me about it. He ate all my cupcakes!” Darin got up and ran for the bathroom in the hallway. “And I’ve been holding it since we got here!”
Grace let out a chuckle before finishing the rest of the Doritos. “Eheh that’s why you got to the bathroom in school.”
“Eww! Do you know whose ass has been on that seat?!”
“Oh I thought you had to…never mind.”
Grace aimed for the trashcan, threw the empty bag, and missed. The crumpled bag managed to get underneath Darin’s bed. Grace went to pick up the bag, then noticed a notebook. Why would he have a notebook under his bed, next to his trashcan? He glanced behind his shoulder before scanning threw it. Grace’s eyes widened. No way! No fucking way!
“…I had another dream about Grace today. It was so beautiful. We were in his bedroom, then he took me. His thrusts so rough but his touch so gentle. I can’t help but wonder if it’s true. This weekend I hope I'll find out if…”
The notebook was filled with ranting about, him. This can’t be. Darin loves me?
"…One day it'll be just like I imagined it. I know he feels the same as I do. I can see it in his eyes. Every time he looks at me, I just want him to…"Grace heard the toilet flush and scrambled to put the notebook back in its place. The sounds of pitter pattering of Darin’s feet on the hardwood floor. Grace could see Darin out of the corner of his eye.
“What are you doing?”
Grace’s jaw went numb. What the fuck am I going to say to him? “I was uh, I dropped the bag and now I’m picking it up.”
“Okay.” Darin shrugged as he let himself fall onto his bed. “I can’t wait until this weekend.”
Grace managed to swallow the lump in his throat. “Yeah, it’s going to be a fun weekend.”
"It sucks to have Alex leave so soon." Darin smacked at the mattress beside him. "Aren't you gonna sit down?"
I'm going to sit next to him? On his bed! NO, no way! The only way for Darin not to get suspicious was to sit next to him. After a bit of inner conflict, Grace took a seat at the edge of the bed.
Darin sat up; his head was tilted with concern. “Grace you okay?”
“What?! I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“Do you not like Alex? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
Grace must have looked insane, because he sure as hell felt it. “No! I love Alex! Not like that I mean, he seems like someone I can see myself hanging out with.”
Darin laughed. “I knew what you meant.”
“Yeah because I don’t like guys like that.”
“I know, I know. You don’t have to be the alpha male to be straight!”
“You like it when someone’s in control?”
Darin froze. “What?”
Shit! Why the fuck would you say that? “Uh, nothing.” Grace tried not to look at Darin's gaze, but he could still feel it burn into his flesh.
“No, what’d you mean by that?”
“You ‘want me to be in control’?”
“ I ah, I meant, I don’t…Where did you get that from?”
Grace moved in closer. He wasn't sure if he should give Darin the slightest idea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. “Don’t bullshit me Darin.”
“You read my notebook?” Darin could felt the heat of embarrassment warming him. “How could you invade my privacy like that?”
“How could you write things like that about me? I thought we were friends for god’s sake! What were your intentions for this weekend Darin? You know I’m straight!”
“You’re telling me you’ve never thought about it?”
“Darin, I don’t like guys!” Darin leaned in closer, their thighs almost touching.
"Grace, I lo-"
"Stop it!"
“You can’t tell me you never thought about it.” Grace turned his head to glance at
Darin for a moment, just for a moment. Darin took Grace’s face into his hands, their lips met.
Alex
“Mom, why did you have to pick me up? That was so embarrassing!”
“Alex, I’m sure they don’t care about things like that.”
“Yeah I know. I was just having so much fun.”
“So what did you do while you were there?”
“Nothing really. We just hung out in Darin’s room for a while. He had yummy cupcakes!”
“Okay…."
“Can I hang out with them this week end?”
“Who are you going to be hanging out with?"
"Darin and his friend, Grace."
"Is Grace his girlfriend? They weren't doing anything in his bedroom-"
"He."
"What?"
"Grace is a guy mom." How embarrassing!
"Oh. That isn't his real name, is it?"
"No, it's not. So can I hang out with them this weekend?"
"I'll just need Darin's home and cell phone number and-"
“Yay! Thanks mom I love you!” Alex planted a big kiss on his mother’s cheek. As soon as Alex got home, he went immediately to his closet to pick out the outfit he'd be wearing on Saturday.
Darin
Darin closed his eyes, their lips met. Grace’s lips were soft like two pink clouds. Clouds that felt as if Darin could float on forever. Everything slowed around him, as if they were the only two left in the entire world. Darin slipped his tongue into Grace’s moist, delicious mouth. His spit taste of Doritos and root beer. Grace’s touch made Darin’s body tingle. Grace pulled away, his head lowered with disgust.
“Darin, I can’t do this.”
He pushed Grace’s hair over his ears to look at him in his eyes. Grace turned away. “I didn’t say we had to be a couple or anything. We can just…experiment.”
"Darin really, I can't do this. I-"
Darin put a finger over Grace's lips. "I can make all your fantasies come true. Anything you want, I'll do it." Before they both knew it, they were kissing again.
Grace's eyes widened, his breath hitched. Darin felt hands around his shoulders. Not pulling him away but pulling him closer. Grace fell on top of him, Darin's fingers becoming entangled with Grace's hair. "Darin, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into."
"Then why don't you tell me." Darin felt Grace's lips form a smile against his own.
"First I'd tie your hands with Japanese silk…"
"Mmm…" Darin's hands found their way to Grace's back, his fingertips digging and kneading into the flesh there.
"Blindfold you…"
Darin's jeans became suddenly tight. "Uh fuck…"
"Fuck you hard until you cry. And make you love every minute of it."
"Grace fuck me!"
All of a sudden everything stopped. Darin opened his eyes. Grace's blue orbs peering down at him. "No. Not until the weekend at least."
"What? Why? I feel our connection. I wouldn't want to lose that when we…"
"We're not prepared. I don't have any of the…accessories we need for our night. I promise you it'll be worth the wait."
They spent the rest of their time kissing, casually looking from time to time at the door for Darin's parents. The last thing I need is for my parents walking in on me making out with my best friend.
Grace
As soon as he got home, he was greeted by his brother Mikko.
"Ahah! I got your seat!"
"Fine, whatever." At this point Grace couldn't care less about where he was going to sit for dinner. All he could think about was Darin. What the fuck am I thinking? I can't have sex with him! Kissing him was going too far. I'm going to have to tell him that I can't do this. But Jesus fucking Christ he said he'd do anything with me. Anything. I'd be a fucking idiot to turn something like that down. What the fuck am I going to do?
"You're not mad?! What fun is that then?"
"It's just a seat! I really don't care about that right now."
Mikko handed Grace some plates and forks to set on the table. "Grace, you okay?"
"I'm fine, don't worry about it."
“Somebody has problems…”
“No I do not!”
“Fabio I know when you have problems! Tell me what’s wrong.”
Grace’s face contorted to anger. “Don’t call me that!”
“Why? It’s your real name. What’s with Grace anyway?”
“Psalm 69 is one of the best CDs on the planet! Okay!”
Mikko sighed. He threw his hands up in defeat. “You are the biggest geek I’ve ever met!”
“That’s it, you’re not coming with us this weekend!”
“You fucking suck! Well it doesn’t matter, I didn’t want to go anyway!” Mikko slammed his plates onto the table, almost shattering them in his hands.
Grace sat on his bed, just writing. Writing about anything that was on his mind. Anything about Darin. Anything about their friendship that they have, or for lack of a better word, had. He came to the decision that he did want to be with Darin, but didn't want to jeopardize their friendship. Holy shit what am I going to do?
He decided to walk to school today. To get there sooner than any bus could take him. Bracing himself on the railing, Grace lit his first cigarette of the day.
“Mind if I have a smoke?” Grace looked up from his lighter. Darin smiled childishly down at him. How the fuck does he do that? Mindlessly Grace handed Darin a cigarette.
“Do you even smoke?” Grace lighted the tip to a fiery orange. “Or are you trying to impress me?”
“Impress you! No. I do enough of that on my own.” Grace could see the expression of self-gratitude on Darin’s face. “What will it take to impress you, fully?” Darin went to touch Grace, but Grace stopped him.
“What are you crazy!? Don’t do that to me in public!”
“Why? Nobody’s here. Maybe we should go into the boys’ rooms for a little bit to have some fun.”
“STOP IT!” Even Grace jumped at the intensity of his voice. He took Darin’s hand within his, voice almost soothing. “Darin look. I already told you that I’d be with you tonight. That’s already something I thought I’d never do in my entire life. So just take what you can get and be happy with it, okay?”
Darin just stared, blinking at him, mouth open almost dumbly. The cigarette still in his hand fell onto his fingers. Darin jumped a bit before he flicked the ashes to the ground. “Uh huh. Still it’s a bit cold out here. Wanna go into the library?”
“Sure. I have Lost Souls with me. You want to read it together?” Grace poked out his cigarette on the cement ground and put it pack into the pack.
“Of course I want to read it! Even though I’ve read it about a thousand times!”
“Every time I read it, it gets even better!” Grace even held the door for Darin.
Darin
Together. Shit Darin. You may have started something big. Maybe my dream will come true. "You're such a gentlemen."
"I'm sorry. I'll have to make up for it later."
Darin scoffed. "And you say how I shouldn't talk!"
Darin wanted to go into the library thinking that they'd have it to themselves. But no, someone else had to be there. Wait, I've seen him before. Oh! He's from our homeroom class that we had yesterday!
"Shit someone's here. We can read the book in the computer lab if you want." Grace suggested.
"No! Don't you know who he is?"
"No, who is he?"
"He was in our first period class yesterday!" Grace was obviously a bit stunned by his friend's actions.
Grace glared at Victor for a moment, then back at Darin. "Yeah, so?"
Darin just stared at him. "Grace, are you blind?"
"What?! Can't you just tell me instead of dragging the charade like this?"
"He's Gothic! He's the only Gothic kid that comes to this school besides Alex and us."
Grace shrugged. "Good point."
Darin noticed that he was reading Neuromancer. "Grace, look."
Grace followed Darin's extended hand to the book that was in between the intrigued boy's hands. He must have been really interested in what Gibson had to say, because he didn't look up once to see who entered the library.
"Say hi to him." Darin urged. He knew that Grace didn't want to say hi to him, but Grace knew that there was no way in hell Darin would go up to someone he didn't know and start talking to them. So, Grace obliged.
"Hey I'm Grace, this is Darin. And you are?"
"Huh?" Victor blinked blankly at the two. Big beautiful hazel eyes widened. Did we scare him? Was he intimidated by the two taller men hovering over him while he was trying to read? Darin was about to find out. "Why?"
"My friend here wanted to get to know you better." Grace earned a punch in the arm for that.
"You want to know my name?" Victor asked. Darin nodded. "It's Victor ah-Love. Victor Love."
"Love eh?" Grace raised a penciled in eyebrow.
"You should talk about names, Fa-" Darin began, but Grace stopped him.
"Don't even go there." Darin knew Grace was sensitive about his real name. It was great to mention for a good come back every now and again. Grace wasn't fooling anyone though. Anyone who knew him would most likely know his real name, thanks to his teachers.
Grace and Darin seated themselves in front of Victor, who stared at the two blankly. "So uh, what do you do for fun?" Darin knew Grace would be the one to carry on the conversation.
"Fun? Hang out in the woods behind my house. That's what you could call fun I guess."
"Do you have a clubhouse?" Darin felt a bit embarrassed for asking the question, but who wouldn't want a clubhouse?
"A club house?" Victor let out a chuckle. "No. I'm sixteen why would I have a clubhouse?"
Victor
He had no idea why he was talking to these people. Because your dream is coming true that's why! Or maybe it's some sort of sick joke.
"Well, what if it starts raining?"
"Yeah." Victor knew what Darin meant by it, but didn't feel like explaining.
"Well, maybe you should go to some clubs on the weekend." Darin suggested.
"With who. Or better yet, how the fuck would I get there?"
"What Darin meant was maybe you should come with us this weekend." Grace teased. Are they a couple or something? Victor noticed Darin had hit Grace again. "Would you stop with that?!"
"We don't even know him Grace!"
"I get it. Pretend you like me then just blow me off." Victor grabbed his things and headed for the door. Grace got a hold of Victor's arm before he managed to get out the door.
"Hey. I'm sure he didn't mean it like that. We just don't know you and it'd be weird to have you sleeping over Darin's house that's all."
"Don't touch me!" Victor knew he was getting edgy because he wanted so desperately hang out with them. They were the only other ones like him, the ones where he felt he could fit in. A part of the gang. Inside, where all his darkest, sickest, most hopeful dreams were where he knew it wouldn't happen. Grace released Victor's arm.
"Grace, it's okay. If anything did happen, we have Alex remember?"
"Our Vega guard? Eheh."
"Vega?" Darin asked.
"His nickname. Remember, Alex Vega?"
"Eh, oh yeah! I highly doubt that Victor would want to hang out with complete strangers.
"No! Uh, I mean I wouldn't mind. Having a few friends…" Victor thought about how lonely he was. Nobody in this entire school would even talk to him. Up until now of course. Or maybe they were going to give him a fake address then tell the whole school how stupid he was for thinking that they'd be his friend.
"Can you meet us at the main entrance after school?" Victor for the first time this school year, smiled. "Yes! I can do that!"
Victor waited desperately for the end of the day to come. My friends! I'm going to spend the whole weekend with my new friends! He and the rest of his new friends discussed what they'd be doing for the weekend. Victor suggested that they could hang out at Darin's house for Sunday. He wasn't sure how the hell he was going to convince his dad, but he didn't care. For three days he would be freed from the burdens, that was his father. Now he was there in front of his house.
"Guys just give me a few minutes to get the things I need okay?"
"Yes but please hurry up!" Alex again was a bit energetic. Victor had noticed in a short period that Alex was a bit more energetic than the rest. He couldn't blame him for being excited though. It was going to be one hell of a weekend.
Victor emptied out his backpack onto his bed and began to fill it with things he'd need for the weekend. Two black sleeved shirts, two pairs of black jeans, a brush, his bag of make up, his CDs, his MP3 player, his lab top and his outfit that he'd be wearing to the club. A black sleeveless dress shirt with a metal zipper going down the middle and a pair of tight black PVC pants, couldn't forget the bondage straps to go with them. Before he left he stopped by his parent's room. He knew where they stashed their saving money. In a little box that rested on top of the entertainment center. Victor grabbed as much of the rolled up cash he thought they wouldn't notice if missing. Just as he stuffed the bills in his pocket, a hand grabbed his right shoulder.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Out with my friends."
"Victor you don't have any friends." His father's grip tightened on his shoulder. He felt as if his collarbone might crack.
"Well now I do. I'll be back on Monday." Victor managed to break free of his father's grip.
"Victor, get you ass back inside this house now!"
"See you Monday." Victor ran through the driveway and on his way to three days of freedom. He closed the sliding door behind him as he got into his temporary home.
"Glad you could make it." Alex greeted. "This bed isn't half bad huh?" Alex let himself bounce for a bit on the old yet mint condition mattress.
"Darin I can't believe you talked you parents into buying this." Victor commented with a smile.
"I'm one lucky kid huh?" Darin said, leaning off of the passenger's seat. You have no idea just how lucky you really are. "Look at you smiling! Hey Grace, I think we got him out of his depression!"
Victor took a quick glance at the bills he had in his pocket. He noticed that all the bills had the number one hundred on them. Holy shit! Jackpot!
Darin
Grace better like this van. After all, I did promise to give two months worth of pay for it. What was I thinking? Oh well, it is a nice van. Today was the day Grace promised that they'd get to spend time together. Darin was wondering exactly when that time would be. He hoped that he wasn't planning what Darin thought Grace was planning. If Grace thought that they would have sex after everybody was asleep…Never mind Victor and Alex, what the fuck would they do if his parents found out about them? God, how Darin did not want to think about it. "Hey Grace. I was uh, wondering when we had time for the plans we made." Grace glared at him with looks that could strangle. Grace may not know where he was going with this, but Darin knew exactly where he was going.
"Darin, now's not the time for that." Grace almost lost focus of the road, almost. Darin could tell by the expression on his face that Grace was pissed.
"I thought we already had plans." Victor seemed to get a little uneasy about the situation that had come to surface.
"No. Grace and I had other plans set up." Grace's eyes narrowed as he glared right at Darin. "To fix my computer in my computer room, remember?" Grace took a sigh of relief. I hope Grace doesn't think I'm actually talking about computers.
"Oh yeah your computer. Maybe later tonight I can fix it. You okay if I do it tonight?" Grace asked, a grin playing at the corners of his lips.
I knew he wanted to do it later tonight! But fuck I can't turn it down, that just might be one of the most stupid of things I could ever do. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to fix it."
Darin found himself standing by Grace's side in the anime section of the bookstore.
"Oh! Darin look they have Mobile Suit Gundam Seed volume ten!" Grace made a few heads turn in their direction.
"You love Gundam, don't you?"
"Yes."
"You're obsessed with Gundam aren't you?"
"Maybe, a little. You should talk about obsessed."
Darin's flesh on his face heated to a rosy red. "I'm not obsessed."
"Then let me read the rest of that notebook."
"Why? You already know what's in it." Get him off the subject Darin get him off the subject!
"No I don't."
"Well that doesn't matter, does it?"
"I guess it doesn't matter now, no."
There was a long silence before Darin said, "I wouldn't mind reading one of these manga or two. But they're so much money!"
"Don't waste your money. I have most of the manga they sell here anyway. You can borrow them anytime."
"You want me to come over your house then? I've only been to your house a few times."
Darin knew he was going to ask him something a bit embarrassing because he was doing that face again. His feet would begin to shuffle and his eyes would refuse to meet Darin's. "Maybe we could hang out at my house some time?"
"Really? Grace we didn't even carry out the plans we already have."
"Y-yeah I know it's just…uncomfortable having everyone in the house while we're…together."
Darin grabbed a toned arm and nuzzled into the warm crook of Grace's neck. "Oh, how romantic!"
"No, I just don't want to get caught." Darin sighed. "Sorry to burst your bubble."
"I'll take it any way I can get it."
Grace smiled, revealing his perfect straight teeth. "You're preaching to the choir!"
"I just can't wait until tonight! We're going to have to stop by the mall so I can pick up a few things for then."
Grace's voice got lower, his face closer to Darin's. The scent of mint mouthwash hit him right in the face. "We going to get everything I wanted?"
"It's a surprise." How Darin loved it when Grace got frustrated. Then again, he looked cute no matter what mood he was in. It was even cuter though when he'd get angry and make his lips even more puckered.
Their conversation was cut short by footsteps heading right in their direction. The loud clip clop of heavy black boots, the over powering smell of Axe. The two shuffled out of the figure's way. She stood there for a moment looking at the vast collection of Gundam manga. Grace glanced at the black knee high boots, which had four-inch heels, and smiled. "Nice boots."
"Thanks."
The more Darin looked at her, the more she looked familiar. "Do I know you?" She turned to face him, his eyes widened.
"I don't think so, no."
Holy shit she's Grace with boobs. "What's your name?"
"Sorry, I don't talk to strangers."
Darin held out his hand, ready for a shake. "I'm Darin."
She grabbed it willingly and gave his hand a nice firm squeeze. "Grace."
Darin had to use every fiber of his being to keeping himself from laughing. A grin still managed to get out. "Really? Is that your real name or…?"
"No it's a nickname. Long story."
Grace leaned over Darin's shoulder. Oh yeah, he's seething. "You have got to be kidding me!"
"Eheh be seeing you. Well, at least it was nice meeting you anyway." Just like that, she was gone. Off to the next section of books. That was completely random!
"You know Grace-"
"Don't say anything about that to me ever again."
"Fine. But she really does-"
"I know Darin, just drop it!"
Darin threw his hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay. Then do you want to just get out here and go to the mall?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
Alex
Now we get to go to the mall? I wish I had brought more money with me! Darin decided to go to the hair salon, which was just the place where Alex would want to be. Hearing about what Darin wanted to do with his hair made him want to scream.
"I'd like some blonde high lights, what do you think?"
"Darin, you're asking me? Maybe you should ask your friends that actually have hair!"
"Fine. Grace! Should I get blonde high lights?" I wish I still had hair! Lucky bastards, hmm, maybe I should buy a wig.
"Whatever, I don't care."
"Grace!"
"If you want it then you get it!"
"Fine, then I will. Do you think it'll look nice?"
Grace seemed to be to interested in the hair styling magazine he was reading. Or maybe he was looking for a different style that he'd think would suit Darin more. "What kind of blonde high lights?"
"I don't know that's why I'm asking you!"
"Who am I? Your personal stylist? Eheheh."
"I just want your opinion so give me your opinion!"
"Yes! Okay, yes. You should get blonde high lights. It'll bring out your eyes." Grace said sarcastically.
Alex looked around at all the glamour shots plastered on the hair salon's walls before saying, "You guys suck."
Victor put a reassuring hand on Alex's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. You look good. Any woman would be lucky to have you."
"Oh easy for you to say! You have hair! Long hair! And so does ah, Fabio over there."
Darin glanced at Grace for a moment before laughing. "He's got a point."
"Oh yeah, so funny. Make fun of the Gothic guy with long hair! I get it!"
Victor pouted. "Hey what about me?"
"Well, your name isn't Fabio." Darin said before laughing again.
"Would you stop with that already! It was funny the first few hundred times but now it's just annoying!"
"Ha! Your name is Fabio! Really, that is your real name? I was just kidding about the Fabio thing but if it is…bwahah that's funny!"
Grace tossed the magazine on to the table beside him. "Yeah? Well…I have hair."
"Oh? Make fun of the new guy huh?" Ha! Take that one Grace! Beat you at your own game! This is fun!
There was a long pause before Grace said, "Fine, fine." Guess Grace isn't the fighting type. "Well played. You know I was just playing, right?"
"Well I hope so!" But I still beat you!
"Look, Darin might take a while. If you two want to walk around the mall for a while it's fine."
"You wanna go to Hot Topic Victor? Alex asked.
"But we just went! Maybe we should go to the arcade." Victor suggested.
"You read my mind!"
The arcade wasn't as fun as Alex thought it would be, or maybe he was just a sore loser.
"I beat you again! How many times was that? Three!" Victor rubbed it in by doing a victory dance.
"Alright I'll admit it, Victor Love you are The Lord of the Dance!"
"You still did good though. Do you play DDR?"
"Eh sometimes. But not as much as you do!"
Alex and Victor decided to go to the food court before they'd go check on Darin and Grace. "So what do you think about them?"
"Huh?" Victor chewed and swallowed what food that was left in his mouth before saying, "You mean Grace and Darin? Yeah they're cool. They at least like to talk to me so that's a definite plus."
"How'd you meet them?" Alex asked as he stole a few of Victor's French fries.
"They came up to me today in the library."
Alex nearly choked on his catsup-smothered fries. "You just met them today?!"
"Yeah, when did you meet them?"
"Yesterday."
"Well you should talk then!"
"It's different than just meeting them today then sleeping at their house. Doesn't that feel a bit weird? Sleeping over an almost complete strangers house?"
"No."
"No? Really? It'd bother me."
"Well they seem like cool people to me. I don't think they would try to kill me in my sleep or anything like that."
"Me neither. Well, I know Darin wouldn't." Two for Alex none for Grace. It's on!
"Huh. Grace looks like the type of guy that would kick your ass if he had to. But inside he's a little teddy bear!"
Grace
Grace leaned on the salon chair Darin was seated in. He leaned his weight onto the chair as he put one hand threw Darin's hair. He could feel Darin shudder beneath him. "So you're going to get your hair dyed a different color again eh?" Grace released Darin's hair, and it fell in front of his eyes again.
Darin subconsciously moved his bangs out if his eyes. "I tend to get bored quickly."
"Hmm, it seems that every time I turn around you have a different hair style."
"You know you like my hair."
Indeed Grace did like his hair. Each and every style he had looked nice on him. With each and every style, even if it just meant trimming his bangs or parting it a different way, he looked cute. Holy shit Darin I've got to get you out of my head. Since our first kiss, since our little make out session, since what you said, or of a lack of a better word, going to say. "Yeah, I do."
"I can't wait until tonight."
"Darin, please."
"What? There's nothing wrong with saying that."
" I guess. And you didn't help the fact by not letting me pick out the things with you." Grace could feel his cock beginning to harden. "Why don't you tell what you got."
Grace noticed Darin's grip on his bag tighten." You'll see tonight."
"Is it kinky?"
"Are you all set?" Called the hairdresser who had a stylish hairstyle herself. Her hair was short in the back, with long unnatural red bangs.
"Uh, yeah. Except I don't know what I want, exactly." Darin said with a grin.
Hours later, the gang found themselves back at Darin's house. It was only ten at night and Grace was horny as ever. Victor and Alex called it a day, thank God, which meant Darin and Grace would have the whole night in the computer room to themselves.
"Lock the door!" Although it was Darin's idea in the first place, he was the most nervous of the two of them. "The last thing I need is for my parents to walk in on us having sex."
"Oh calm down." Grace locked the door. "We're not going to get caught."
Within moments his lips were with Darin's once more. Panting into each other's mouths the taste of spit, the smell of desire. Darin was quickly shed out of his cloths, Grace of only his shirt. Grace's grabbed the bag that way still in Darin's hand, opened it, and smiled. "You got me a surprise?"
"You like it?"
"Flavored lube and chocolate body paint? I love it. I'll be sure to use some of this tomorrow."
"Oh come on." Darin begged, almost moaning.
"Mmm you're more dirty than I thought you were." Grace removed the silk rope from the bag. "I promise you, your going to enjoy this." He spun Darin around and grabbed his wrists. "I bet you're dirtier then you lead to believe, aren't you?" He tied the silk rope around Darin's wrist in a square knot a bit harder than he knew he should of. "You want me Darin?" Soft fabric obscured Darin's sight.
"Uh God Grace I've wanted you since the day I met you."
Grace pushed Darin onto the bed against the wall. "Get on your knees."
Darin's breath hitched as he did what he was told. Grace could nearly smell the anticipation off of Darin's body. "Grace, please."
Grace slipped out of his tight black jeans. He reached around in front of Darin and slowly traced the heartagram tattoo on his lower abdomen. Darin's hips rocked back and forth, desperate for friction. Grace smiled knowing Darin was as horny as he was. But he had more composure. He had more experience then Darin. He had complete control. "You want me to fuck you rough? Make you bleed?"
"Grace just fuck me! Please."
Grace grabbed at Darin's black and blonde locks, harder than he knew he should. "Please what?"
"Please!"
"Please what!"
Darin
Please, oh God Grace fuck me so hard and make it feel so good. Darin knew sure as hell he wouldn't be telling Grace that out loud. All of this to begun to feel so surreal. This had to be a dream; it just had to be. He was lucky enough to have Grace fuck him, let alone take requests.
"I can't do it if I don't know what it is."
Darin was so close already his brain function seemed to stop working. All the blood in his body was rushing to the wrong head for thought. "Uh fuck, me…hard."
"Hard eh? I can do that."
Darin could hear the sound of the click of a bottle opening. The lube he hoped, he prayed. Then he heard a distinct sound that Darin knew so well, the sound he knew all to well. He could hear Grace stroking himself, preparing his cock for him. Then the head of his cock at his entrance pushing slowly into him. Grace's cock was bigger than he had expected. It burned far more than he thought it would. But that didn't stop Grace from pushing until he was all the way inside him. Darin wasn't ready for Grace's harsh thrusts, the unrelenting burning every time Grace withdrew from him. All of this was beginning to go wrong for Darin. He knew there was pain involved, but this was becoming too unbearable. Darin wasn't sure if he should ask him to stop or let him keep going. Tell him that he could feel blood trickle down his right thigh. But that's what he wanted wasn't it. He wanted him to bleed. Grace wanted to see the pain Darin felt. Did this somehow make Grace feel more connected with him?
Grace hit something inside him that made Darin want to scream. An overwhelming sense of pleasure went threw his body. A pleasure that he had never reached by himself before. This was far more intense. He thought this was it, but he couldn't be the farthest from wrong. Each thrust, each slightest movement against that spot made him weak in the knees, almost desperate for the moment to end. Grace finished before him, making him go over the edge himself.
Grace released Darin's hands. By the time Darin undid his blind fold, Grace was already under the covers. Even Grace himself was panting. "You were amazing. Absolutely perfect, couldn't have asked for anything better."
"Really? I was good? I just laid there."
"No, I mean," Grace nuzzled into the crook of Darin's shoulder, inhaled Darin's sweet innocent scent. "You were so tight. Your body's just, perfect."
"I was so tight because I was a virgin."
"Mmm eheh. Glad to hear it."
"Why, does that turn you on or something?" Grace just smiled as he continued to bury himself into Darin's warmth. "So…how many women?"
"How many women what?"
"You know."
"You mean had sex with? I haven't had sex with anyone besides you."
"What? Really? With the way you talk… I thought you had sex at least five, six times?"
"Darin, just because someone likes sex doesn't necessarily mean that they have sex with everything that has a hole!"
"Okay! I get it! You're a conservative horny bastard." Darin took a strand of Grace's long hair and began to twist it around his index finger. "Have I ever told you you're beautiful?"
"Yes. Well, you wrote it down. " Grace said with a smile. "You mind if I read the rest of that notebook? I know I said it didn't really matter now, but I'm just, curious."
There's no way in hell I'm letting him read that notebook. I poured all my heart and soul into that thing. Shit my deepest feelings about him are in there. He'll know what I did to get the information, and if he knows I…
Grace
What's so wrong about that notebook? I know it's filled with things about me. What would it hurt if I read the rest of it?
"I'm sorry Grace. I know you really want to read the notebook but I can't let you read it. I'm just not comfortable." Grace noticed that Darin was on the verge of stuttering with every passing word of the apparently impossible sentence.
"It's okay. I just thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask."
"Just, please, never ask to read it again, okay?" Darin eased out of Grace's embrace and began to put on his cloths.
"What's wrong with that notebook? I just want to know who you feel-"
"Would you stop with the notebook! I'm not going to let you read it so let it go okay!"
Grace was a bit shocked at Darin's voice that loud. He's never heard his voice unless he was in a happy mood. To hear him like that, Grace knew something was wrong. "Darin, why are you so edgy?"
"Because you keep bothering me about that stupid notebook and I just want you to leave me alone about it, okay?"
"Fine. You know what? I think I'll sleep in the guest bedroom tonight then. I can't sleep with you if you're angry like this." I've got to find out what's in that notebook!
Grace got into his sushi print pajamas before he left. He did feel guilty for leaving Darin to sleep alone, he knew that Darin would probably be crying by now. It would have been uncomfortable though to stay with Darin for the rest of the night with him like that. Why the fuck would I tell him that I'd be sleeping in the guest bedroom when Victor and Alex are staying there? Hope he won't realize it for a few hours, because I'm going to read that whole notebook.
He found the notebook in the same place he'd put it back. Grace looked behind his shoulder before reading it. Just like the first time he had opened the notebook. For Grace it was better if he read it from the first page to the last. He really thought about why he wanted to read the notebook in the first place. You know something's wrong with that notebook! Darin has never gotten that heated up about anything before. Well, other than me, eheh. He opened the spiral notebook, and began to read.
"Over the past few months I've realized something. Grace is one of the most beautiful people I've ever met, inside and out. And he made me realize who I really am, and I hope I can do the same with him.
I found the only way I can get rid of my feelings that I have on my mind is by writing them down. So I've decided that I'll be writing my feelings down about Grace in this notebook for now on."
That's great Darin but why don't you get to the good stuff already. Grace to just wanted skip to the middle of the notebook and get to the good part, but he reframed himself.
"Well here we go. Nothing really happened today except for the incident in gym. Which I might add I hated this class until I realized what opportunities it gave me. We were doing our daily laps back and forth the gym when I accidentally ran into him. I hadn't meant to touch him like that but I did. I don't think he noticed, thank god. That's probably the closest I'm ever going to get to touching him, his perfect tight little body. I always did wonder if he'd be a top or bottom. He has such a small frame yet he's muscular. Those small toned arms around me."
Oh well that wasn't so bad. He has a crush on me that's all. Why is Darin so uptight about me reading this? It's more of a compliment than anything else.
Grace decided to take the notebook and lock himself into the bathroom, along with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. The last thing he needed was for Darin to interrupt him while he was reading, again. He'd been reading the notebook for about an hour or so and most of the stuff of it had been tame. When he began to read what was about halfway threw the notebook, the words he read were more, disturbing.
"I want to tell him how I feel but I'm to scared. What if he rejects me, what if he laughs at me and he never wants to talk to me ever again? I think I rather die than to not have Grace in my life ever again. I have to tell him. Or at least give him some sort of suggestion…"
"That asshole! That fucking asshole! I flirted with him and everything but nothing! He didn't even give me the slightest inclination that he even cared! What do I have to do, give him a fucking blowjob before he notices my feelings? I mean, how many guys just go over and run there hands down their friends chest in an unsexual way? I know he's straight but he could at least to pretend he gives a fuck about my feelings! Sometimes I just wish I had the balls to just invite him over my house and fuck him in my bedroom. I wouldn't care if my parents were home or anything. Just tie him up and fuck him on my bed. Even if he wants it or not. But I know I won't do it. I don't want to risk my parents finding out or risking my friendship with him. I just can't take it how he makes me feel! I love him so much but I hate him for the way he makes me feel. I don't know what I'm going to do."
Grace had remembered when Darin touched his chest. Grace just thought that Darin was just kidding around or being sarcastic or something. But flirting with him, Grace would have never guessed. It shocked Grace how much animosity Darin had towards him that day. He just known Darin as the shy and silent just-leave-me-alone-so-I-can-finish-my-book kind of guy. But this coy fish had teeth like a piranha's.
Then Grace found the most recent date of the notebook, yesterday. "…Once again gym class was my friend. Grace asked me to hold the bathroom stall door closed while he changed. I only got a quick glance but I got to see him shirtless! His nice flat chest and stomach was almost too hard to resist. Just to feel his flesh move beneath mine instead of staying still like when he's asleep. Let alone he has a pierced nipple. Well, I've found out why Grace doesn't like to change his shirt in front of other guys. He doesn't need any more reasons for people to poke fun at him. But you know what, fuck those guys! The only reason why those guys make fun of Grace is because they're jealous that he's so attractive and they're not…
"I don't know why I touched him while he was asleep, okay I do but that's not the point. That body is almost irresistible even when clothed, touching that soft skin in the middle of his chest with your lips. That flat stomach and protruding hipbones. Not to mention the giant bulge in his pants! I have to tell to him how I feel before I die of sexual frustration!"
Oh my god he didn't! He touched me while I was sleeping! Grace slammed the notebook onto the white tile floor. He had enough of reading. Now Grace knew why Darin didn't want him to read his notebook. Darin fucking molested me! How the fuck could he do that! When, when could he possibly have the time to do that?! Grace poked out his cigarette and stormed out with the rest of his cigarettes and Darin's notebook in hand. With just his luck, Darin had gotten up to go to the bathroom.
Darin
Shit! Just great! Wait, is that my notebook. Oh god, please tell me that he didn't read my notebook. "Grace, you just can't leave me alone, can you."
"Apparently you can't leave me alone! How could you do that to me you sick fuck!" Grace said as he dug the tip of his index finger into Darin's chest.
He read my notebook. "What do you mean?"
"Don't fucking lie to me Darin. I know what you did to me while I was asleep!"
Oh my God I'm so embarrassed. What am I going to say to him? "What are you talking about. Did what to you in your sleep?"
"Darin I know you touched me in my sleep. Why would you do that to me? Do that to your friend?!"
"It isn't like I put my hands down your pants or anything." Oh God what am I saying! Why am I telling him this!
"Then tell me, what did you do to me when I was asleep?"
"Nothing I-"
"Tell me!"
Darin licked his all of a sudden dry lips. "I uh, I didn't touch you, that much."
"That much? Oh that's funny, because you wrote that you kissed my chest!"
"I-I…That doesn't mean I molested you though!" Darin's heartbeat speeded up. He thought he might pass out with lack of oxygen to his brain the way he was breathing so heavily.
"I know that isn't all you did Darin. With how nervous you are, I know you did something a lot worst than that."
"I didn't even do anything! Just leave me alone and let me go to the bathroom!"
"Fine." Grace shoved Darin into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. "You're in the bathroom, now talk."
"I didn't do anything else to you I swear!" Which was the truth, Darin didn't do anything to him.
"Darin." Darin could feel Grace's anger build up inside him. This could end very badly for him. “What did you do!”
“I…I can’t say it!”
“Then why did you do it then huh? If you can’t even admit to it then why did you do it!”
“I made you touch me okay!”
Grace’s eyes widened. “You, what?”
Darin licked at his lips. How…How the fuck am I going to tell him this? “I-I took your hand and, made you touch me in your sleep.”
Grace put his hand over his mouth in disgust. “You’re fucking sick!”
"Grace I…I'm sorry." Darin tried to comfort him, but Grace pushed him away.
"Don't touch me! Don't even come near me! I don't want you ever near me, I don't want to read the rest of that notebook, I don't want to hang out with you anymore, I don't ever want to see you ever again!"
"Oh God please Grace don't please!" Darin was desperate; he latched onto Grace's legs and began sobbing between his ankles.
"Get off of me!" Grace's shin met with Darin's face, he hadn't met to do it, but he did.
Darin moaned in pain and held his bloodying nose, but a bloody nose didn't stop Darin from using one of his hands to hold onto Grace's leg. "Please, Fabio, don't do this to me. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. I can't live without you!"
"No! Stop it Darin I don't want to hurt you!"
"Fabio please I love you!"
"Stop saying that!"
Darin grabbed Grace's ankles with both hands and pulled them from underneath him. Grace let out a groan as his head met with the hardwood floor. Darin crawled on top of him, putting his hands over his face. He was trying to sooth Grace but it instead it made him that much more frightened. "Please, I'm sorry. Don't leave, you can't leave!" Darin's blood was dripping onto Grace's face. Grace tried to wipe the blood away and cover his face with his hands but Darin kept moving them to his sides. "Come on Fabio, you can do anything you want to me, I promise. Anything, just like before. I'd do anything for you, even if you wanted to rape me I'd let you do it. Just give me another chance." Grace managed to get Darin off of him. They both stopped and stared at each other for a moment.
“You…” Grace sat upright and held Darin’s hands in his. “You think that I’d do that to you? Let alone want to do that to you? I’d never want to hurt you Darin, never. I care about you Darin, I'd never hurt you intentionally. ”
Intentionally, never hurt me intentionally. You have no idea how much you've hurt me Grace. Darin head fell onto Grace's shoulder as he began to sob. " I know you wouldn't. I'm so sorry, for all of this. Asking you out, writing that notebook, writing those things, everything."
"I know Darin, I know you are. Let's just get back to bed now, huh?"
"You actually want to go back to bed with me?"
" I just want to pretend none of this ever happened okay? I knew how much you care about me and you just got nervous, afraid of what your life would be like without me. And right now, I wouldn't leave you alone Darin, not like this. No matter what happens to us, I'll still be here by your side." Darin smiled and wiped the drying blood off of his face.
Darin lay back down with Grace on the bed in the computer room. He liked lying with Grace like this. Although he was bigger than Grace was, Darin liked it when Grace had his arms around him, protecting him. He would nuzzle into Grace's neck, smothering himself in the warmth there. Grace would wrap him arms around his waist and hold him close to his body, heat radiating onto him. Darin laid there and realized just how romantic Grace was. He would act like a bad boy in front of everybody but he knew. He tries to put on this mask on in front of everybody. I wonder if he was this romantic with the other people he dated. What am I saying, of course he has, and what makes me so special? It's not like we're not dating, by Grace's standards anyway. But I think if you have sex with somebody then lay with them like this, I wouldn't call that a one time fuck.
Victor
"Hey Alex, do you think that Grace and Darin are asleep by now?"
Alex, who was on the bed (the lucky bastard) rolled over to face Victor. "Mhaaaaa… I dunno! Probably I guess. Why do you care?"
"I was just wondering that's all. It just feels like the day went by so fast!" Were we actually at the mall until nine thirty?!
"Yes, it did. I had a great time with you, by the way. You really know how to dance!"
Victor smiled, by now he was getting used to it. "All of this feels like a big blur. It's almost as if I've known you, Grace, and Darin for all my life! You have no idea how lucky I feel to hang out with you guys."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I mean, I had no one until Darin and Grace walked up to me in the library."
"Well I'm sure you had someone before us like your parents or-"
"I had no one. Especially my parents." Alex glared at him for a moment. Victor knew Alex was going to ask about his parents. "Just leave it alone, okay?"
"Fine. So you were all alone? What did you do to pass the time? It must be really boring without anyone."
"No. It was quite fun actually. I just sat in the woods, reading, listening to my favorite music, downloading porn onto my lab top, eheh."
"I hope you don't mind me asking but, what kind?"
"Any kind! I'm not that picky."
"You mind if I uh borrow your lab top for a little bit?"
Eww, I don't want him to be jerking off near my computer! Ah well… He better use the cable so he doesn't waste my battery. "Sure. Just…Don't get anything on it okay?"
"Ha! I won't I promise."
"And use the cable! Don't waste my batteries!"
"Okay, okay! Jeez you have so many rules!"
Victor didn't like just sitting there while Alex watched the videos that were on his lab top hours on end. God only knew what he was watching. But it was fine for now, listening to his music made the time pass by fairly quickly. "I would like my lab top back by the end of this weekend Alex!"
"Wha-? I'm sorry it's just you have some great videos on here."
"Alex please don’t tell me that you have a hard on right now." Please, please tell me you don’t have a hard on right now, resting on the back of my lab top. "If you're done, could I have it back now?"
"Just one more minute, I found a video with fucking machines-"
"Alex it's been three hours!" There's such a thing called greed you know!
"Okay, okay. Here take it! I've seen enough! Thank you for the videos!"
"You're welcome. And thank you for looking into my personal videos."
"You're a dirty one aren't you? What do you have, a robot fetish or something? Not that there's anything wrong with that or anything. It's really kinky now that I think about it."
"Can we get out of this conversation right now? I don't want to talk to someone I barley know about my fetishes, okay?"
"Why? I think I could beat you in that department to tell you the truth."
"Alex, enough!"
"Alright, jeez. Calm down, you were the one that mentioned porn in the first place. You ever think that's why your computer isn't that fast?"
"My computer goes pretty fast considering the circumstances."
Alex noticed something sticking out from the right side of the computer. A flash drive, a pricey looking one at that. "Oh you put all your porn onto a memory drive. Smart move, so your parents can't find it right?"
"I guess. It's not like they go on my computer or anything, but it is nice to have a flash drive, I feel like such a hacker with all the stuff I put on there!"
"Surly you can't hold all that kind of stuff onto one little flash drive. How much does one like this hold?"
"Five Terabytes."
"What!" Alex bolted upright, their noses almost touching. "How the hell can you afford that?!"
"I have connections." Victor kept it simple; he didn't want someone he'd only known for a day to know his whole life story. Victor didn't even know if he could tell someone he knew for a year about his true self. You wouldn't be talking to me right now if you knew who I really was. You'd be disgusted in me, just like everyone else. Don't worry though, I'm used of it. This moment of happiness can't last forever, and I accept that.
"Could you get me some free stuff? I wouldn't mind a Xbox 360!"
"Trust me, it wasn't free."
"Oh." Alex just decided to leave it at that. He learned quickly that some things with Victor were just better left unsaid. "So uh, I'm really excited about tomorrow, I've never been to a club before. How about you, are you excited about tomorrow?"
"I'm happy about tomorrow. It's nice to be at a club with friends."
"So you've been to a club before?"
"Yes." Stop asking me so many questions! "What is this, an interview?"
"I'm sorry, do you just want to go to bed?"
"Fine. You've tired me out with the twenty questions."
"You're going to make a good temporary roommate!"
The corners of Victor's lips twitched into a smile as his eyelids became heavy with sleep. Within minutes, he was under the visionary bliss that was his dreams.
When he awoke, no one was there but the messy covers on the bed that Alex had left behind. Victor got up and went into the kitchen to find the rest of the gang seated down at the table with each a bowl of cereal in front of them.
"Morning Victor!" Darin's mother greeted, a little too happy for Victor's liking. Is she going to be asking me twenty questions like Alex? I fucking hope not. "Would you like some cereal?" Whew! That was close.
"Just some Cocoa Puffs if you have them."
"Yes we do. Whole milk fine?"
"That's great! Thanks, I'm not allowed to have whole milk at my house. Parents say it's bad for me." Victor noticed that Alex had glanced up at the mentioning of his parents.
"Well I think that's a bunch of nonsense. Whole milk has a lot more vitamins." Darin's mother left for upstairs, probably to wash cloths or something. From the looks of it she was a stay at home mom.
"Well she's a happy one." Victor commented as he took a bite of cereal.
"Mmm, I know. It gets to you sometimes. But she's nice. She really cares about me." Darin stopped for a moment, smiled, then went back to eating his cereal.
You have no idea how lucky you are to have such a perfect life. If I could have a life half as good as yours, I'd be in heaven. Victor noticed that Alex was still looking at him. He knew he could see the sadness in his face. Alex would want to talk to him after breakfast. It's to fucking early for this. I love having friends but it's just too hard to hide all this shit. I just can't be comfortable. Being careful with everything I say around them. To scared that they'd find out about the real me. Maybe some dancing tonight will make me feel better. Take my mind off of things. Or maybe just make me feel that much more uncomfortable around them. I don't think I can handle this. Having friends, good friends at that is not what I need right now. Maybe I should just leave. Leave right now and never look back. When they come up to me in school I can just ignore them. After a while they'd get used of it. After all, they do have each other, why would they need a fucked up guy like me.
"Victor, can I talk to you for a minute?" Just like Victor thought, Alex wanted to talk to him. "Look." Here we go. Please Alex, give me a lecture. "I understand that you have problems at home. And if you want to talk to someone about it, you're more than welcome. Okay?"
"Alex, no offense or anything but I don't need your help. I’m doing just fine on my own, but thank you. It's nice to know you care."
"No problem. I'm sure Grace and Darin feel the same way." You have no idea how many problems I have. I don't even think any of you can even help me now.
Darin
God Darin just say it! Just get it over with and talk to him! "Look Grace. I just want to apologize for what I did to you, and for yesterday. I had no right to do that to you, and I'll understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore."
Grace let out a long sigh before saying, "No Darin I'm sorry. I over reacted about the whole thing. I should've just sat down and talked about it with you."
"You have to understand that I never thought that we would-"
"I know you did. And I understand you…love me."
"And you care about me, right?" Care, not love, but care. I think asking for love is a bit too much right now.
"Of course I do. I just don't know how much yet."
"Oh come on Fabio you know you love me." Darin said with a smile. "You know you want to hold me, and to kiss me, and-"
"Darin, don't. And stop calling me that!"
"It's you name! Faaabbiooo."
"Stop it."
Darin loved getting on Grace's nerves, in a funny way of course. I'm so grateful that his name is Fabio. "I can't believe it's not butter!"
"Would you shut up with that! I don't look, or sound like him at all!"
"And you're blonde!"
"I'm going to kill you! I swear one day I'm going to kill you for that. God you're so lucky that I-"
"Whoa, whoa. What are we missing?" Alex must have been ease dropping, because he was on the verge of laughing his ass off. Darin smiled at the reddening of Alex's cheeks. He just wanted to go over there and grab one of them, such a big smile!
Darin glanced at the clock on the wall before resting his head on the kitchen table. "It's only seven thirty! Is it ten yet? I just want to go to the club already!"
"Which club are we going to?" Grace asked.
"I don't know! Which one do you want to go to?" Good going! Let's go to a club Saturday! Oh yeah by the way, I don't know any!
"I've heard of one near by, but I think it's a sex club." Grace said with a smile.
"Is this a hint that you want to go?" Alex asked dumbly. For Grace, it was probably a home away from home.
"Well then, what's it called?" Darin asked.
"The Tavern. I heard it's for all sexual preferences."
Darin noticed that Victor looked a bit uneasy. He wanted to ask if he's heard of the place, but for some reason, he decided not to. Maybe to save him from embarrassment from being in an 'all sexual preferences' sex club. Victor never did mention anything about dating. Maybe he's a swinger or something. Cute little thing could pull it off. What are all my friends hot or something? That's not a bad thing of course. God I love you guys!
After playing Xbox until dawn with the gang, all that gaming tired Darin out, also made him aggravated. He knew he wasn't the best at games but this was ridiculous. Alex even beat Grace, which in Darin's house, never happened. He needed sleep, which was a big mistake.
The only way he woke up was by Grace shaking him to conciseness. "Hey Darin, it's nine thirty get up!" Darin thought he might be dreaming. It was only five when he went to rest, and it only felt like an hour or so how could it be nine thirty already? "Come on Darin, everyone's ready!"
Darin opened his eyes and realized that he wasn't dreaming. Grace was nearly straddling him, shaking him while yelling his name two inches from his face. "Ah! I'm up, I'm up! Don't have to yell at me you know."
"Yes, I do because you fell asleep and you wouldn't get up, and that was going to make us late!"
"I’m up already! Can't you wait a minute! It doesn't take me as long as you to get ready!" Yes Darin did wear make up, but not nearly as much as Grace. Depending on the day, it could take him up to an hour to get his make up on. Darin never understood why it took him so long. How hard is it to get some foundation, eyeliner, to pencil it your eyebrows, and sometimes some eye shadow. That should be fifteen minutes at the most right? Grace is a major perfectionist though, so that doesn't help the fact.
Ten minutes and Darin was already finished with his make up and putting on his cloths. He was just finishing up brushing his hair when someone put an arm around his waist. Grace, he was sure. Who else would be touching him like that?
"Are you excited to go to the club? You want to dance with me?" Indeed it was Grace, sounding as horny as ever. Darin leaned his head against Grace shoulder, and surprised by the kiss on his lips. The kiss was warm, inviting, forgiving. He wanted to throw Grace onto his bed and show just how sorry he was. That wouldn't be a good move on his part though, the last thing he needed to do was to scare Grace again. "God I love you so much." Darin felt the hardness beneath Grace's leather pants. A groan escaped from Darin's throat, this couldn't wait. He needed Grace and he needed him now. Before he knew it his face was in front of Grace's leather clad groin. "I'll suck you off right now if you want me to. I'll do anything with that perfect body of yours."
"Darin, what are you doing! We have to go! They'll be time for that later tonight. After we have some fun on the dance floor of course, eheh." Darin touched his lips with Grace's once more before leaving his room for the van with Grace's arm around his shoulder.
The ride to the club was nice. Alex had obliged to drive to the club with Victor in the passenger seat giving him the directions. Darin got a chance to sit with Grace on the bed, as tempting as it was they didn't do too much, more like he didn't do much. Every few minutes or so Grace would graze a hand where his thigh and groin met, making him nearly mad with arousal. Grace's pierced tongue teasing the edge of his ear lobe. His low horse voice tickling his eardrum. "Can't wait to grind against you on the dance floor."
"I want you. Take me right here. Forget them and just fuck me right here." Fuck me Grace fuck me! I don't even think they'll even notice if we keep it down.
"In time! I promise you, you won't regret it." God was Darin hard. There was nothing more he wanted than Grace to fuck him right now. But he knew that wouldn't be happening, so he'd have to wait until they made it to the club. Before then Darin thought his dick might explode. Let alone his body took enough abuse already from last night. Did Grace even realize that he hurt him?
Victor
I don't want to go to The Tavern! Out of all the clubs around here, Darin had to choose the one I didn't want to go to. What if Jussi is there with Jyrki? Holy fuck what about Brian! He's there every weekend! Maybe I can hide out at the bar and he won't notice me. Or maybe he's just moved on and found a better club. Victor wasn't sure if he could keep himself from crying. This was too much. He had managed to avoid them for almost three months and now his new friends wanted to bring him right back to their den. Brian's cousin owns the fucking place! Maybe I should just tell them about everything. Maybe Alex is right, they'll understand and find another club to go to. "I ah…guys uh, I've been to this club and it's a bit…how should I say, scandalous."
“What?” Victor heard Darin ask from the back. Victor cried a bit without noticing. Small sniffing sounds escaped his nose as he wiped his eyes.
“You know. A lot of stuff that happens there isn’t supposed to happen.”
“Yeah? That’s why I want to go!” Well, Grace sounded excited. Maybe I should take him back with Brian, I’m sure he’d like that.
"Anything goes in that club. What if a guy flirts with you?"
Shit did Grace seemed pissed at that. "Yeah? So what if a guy flirts with me? I'd tell him that I was flattered but I'm straight."
"Right, straight. Everybody's straight nowadays huh? If you're gay or whatever I don't care about that stuff. Sexuality is a stupid thing to judge someone for. Really, who cares who's fucking who? I say those people need to get a life, caring about stupid shit like that."
Victor heard Grace laugh, but reframed from turning around. Who knows what's going on back there.
By the time they'd got to The Tavern the place was packed. Mostly of Gothic people but there were a few twinks here and there. First thing Grace did was help himself to a nice cold beer. With looks like his, it wasn't that hard for him to get a free beer, even if he was sixteen.
Victor shook his head then took a drink from Grace's beer. "You're going to be in so much trouble! Drinking at sixteen, you're liver's going to hell!"
"You should talk! You're drinking my beer! "
"How much do you drink?"
Grace took a long pause before saying, "Good point."
Might as well ask him, asking a question never hurt anyone before. I think. "So uh, what's going on with you and Darin?"
Grace glared at Victor with fire in his eyes, his lips pouted of that of a child's. "What do you mean by that!"
" I didn't mean it like that. Not that I'm judging you or anything. If you two are-"
"I'm not dating Darin!"
"Well whatever's going on with you two, you're acting… different around each other."
"Do you want the truth?"
"Yes."
Grace took a long swig of his Dixie beer (Dixie? I thought that was a type of paper plates?) before saying, "It's none of your business. I've only known you for two days. I'm not about to tell you my life story."
Grace's words hurt, but they were the truth. "You think you have problems? Try me."
"I'm going to the dance floor to find Darin." Grace grabbed his beer and disappeared into the sea of people.
I know something is going on. And I'm sure as hell I'm going to find out. "Grace!" Victor pushed his way threw the crowd until he was reunited with Grace who was dancing with a woman who Victor was sure he didn't know. "You have to stop hiding from your problems. Trust me, I know. It works for a while I know but then all of those emotions build up and make you feel ten times worst than before."
"And what the fuck do you know about my problems?" Grace's anger shown threw although his voice was louder to compensate for the booming bass of dark wave.
"You think you have problems? You don't know the meaning of 'problems'."
"Who is this guy anyway?" The woman, who was easily five years older than Grace asked.
Grace opened his mouth to speak but Victor beat him to the punch. "I'm his boyfriend!"
The woman scoffed before leaving for the lady's room. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. "Who the fuck do you think you are! You had no right to say that! Do you think you can just say anything you want and expect there to be no consequences?"
"What? Scared someone's going to think you swing both ways?"
"Fuck you!" Grace stormed off to but Victor still followed him. To bad Grace didn't know that he could have gone into the back, also known as the 'motel' as they called it. So Victor decided to take him there by grabbing him by his arm and dragging him there.
"Get your hands off of me!"
"Are you dating Darin?" Victor asked again.
"No. Now leave me so I can go find Darin."
"Gee that's convincing. Or do you want to go off and dance with some slut again? What would Darin think about that?"
"I've told you already! We're not dating!"
"You don't have to date someone to fuck them."
"I didn't do anything with him!"
Victor's grip tightened around Grace's forearm. "I sure as hell heard you two fight about something last night."
Grace's whole body froze. "You, heard us fighting?"
"Yeah." Victor glanced away from Grace's face to the tacky seventies looking red carpeting. "Are you really that mad at him? You sounded disgusted with him."
"You didn't actually hear what we were fighting about, did you? Or was it that you just heard the noise of us fighting and not what we were fighting about? Am I right?"
"Yes. I just heard a lot of shouting and that was it. It was just your tone of voice, you-you just sounded so shocked."
Grace plopped himself on the king-size bed against the wall. He buried himself in the lush softness of the black satin comforter. Victor lay down beside him. "I just…I have so much feelings for him. And to tell you the truth, I can't tell you what they are. I care about him so much, but I just can't love him like that. I'm sure he knows that by now. The guilt is getting to me. He loves me Victor, he's loved me for years! Since he was twelve or thirteen! How do you deny feelings like that?"
"I'm sure you two will figure it out together. That's if you two really care about each other."
"I…I don't want to be bisexual. It's worst than being gay. At least if you're gay there's a community that will accept you. Even some gay people don't like bi people. You're stuck in the middle. God I wish I didn't feel this way. I know it sounds wrong but it's true. If I had a choice to love Darin or not I'd choose not to."
Victor smiled. "You love him?"
"No."
"You just said it! You love him."
"Well yeah I love him but I don't love him, you know? He's my friend, of course I love him. God I don't fucking know anymore. He fucked me up Victor!"
"It's hard I know. Trust me, everything's going to turn out fine." Victor entangled his fingers into Grace's soft straightened dyed hair. His hair was as soft as it looked, like flowing strands of black down that flowed all the way to the end of the small of his back. Victor stared into Grace's deep blue-gray depths, the dark black makeup turning his eyes to a cold helpless stare.
"What are you doing?" Grace's voice was nothing more than a guttural groan. The first time Victor heard Grace depressed. It didn't strike him until a moment later how happy Grace seemed to be, until now.
"Comforting you." Their kiss was soft at first. Then Victor leaned into Grace, deepening their contact. Making him want more, every bit of him. He wanted to touch and taste every bit of his flesh. He wanted Grace to take him each and every way possible. The thought of the tones of their skin contrasting each other as their hips ground into each other; soft alabaster against toned tan, small strong hands exploring Victor's flesh. Victor wanted Grace and he knew he was going to have him. Grace seemed the type that wouldn't need much convincing. Or no convincing at that. The type that liked to go out to clubs and indulge on the debauchery of nightlife.
Victor ran his hands beneath the thin fabric of Grace's shirt. He pulled it over his head, long black hair cascading over his nipples. Victor brushed the hair aside and took a pierced one into his mouth then gently nibbled at the sensitive flesh. "Ah! Wait, you're bi?"
Victor's warm breath tickled at Grace's chest as he laughed silently to himself. What else could I be! "What do you think Grace!"
Grace fell softly onto the black satin comforter. His eyes met with Victor's. At that point, time stood still. No music, no Darin, no asshole of a father, nothing. Victor's stripping of his clothing was amplified by silence. It felt like a dream, a vision from heaven. Perfect sex that even a porn stars would be envious of. Victor knew what was about to happen would be mind blowing.
"You've had sex before haven't you?" Grace asked, his entire face one big smile.
"Not with someone like you, no."
"Someone like me?"
"I'm usually on bottom."
"And I'm usually on top." There was a long pause between them. "How many times have you had sex?"
So many times I've lost count. I think I might have stopped at fifty. "Now that's none of your business."
"I've only had sex once. With Darin."
I knew it! Victor's tongue entangled with Grace's. The taste of beer and cigarettes filled his mouth. Victor planted himself onto sharp protruding hipbones and started to rock slowly back and forth. "How was it?" He asked.
"Nice."
Grace
Fuck he knows what he's doing doesn't he? Holy shit he makes me so horny just by the way he moves. Makes me just want to tie him down and fuck the shit out of him. God, what would Darin think of me right now?
"You're big aren't you? I don't know if I can put the entire thing into my mouth."
Grace's cock began to throb. His eyes darted immediately to Victor's mouth, just in time to see his tongue dart out to moisten his pale pink lips.
"Is that what you want me to do? Suck you off? Let you come in my mouth?"
Wide knuckles and small fingers stroked Grace's leather clad thighs while never loosing eye contact. Grace began to pant; he was going to come with or without Victor.
He was wrong after all. Being in control wasn't as nearly erotic as someone controlling you. It was more like having someone else do all the work while you got yours that was so arousing.
Hands reached for the metal SS cross belt buckle, which came off with little resistance.
"Fuck Victor just do it already!"
"Did Darin suck you off?"
"No." Just suck it already before I shoot my load! "This is my first time." Grace's hands became tightly clutched fists at his sides, mostly from frustration, partly from arousal. Finally, Grace's cock was released from the tight confines of his leather pants.
Victor smiled at the impressive pierced length. Grace returned the smile with a sly grin; hands gently gripped the back of Victor's head. Warm tantalizing breath teased the tip of Grace's cock. He knew it was coming. The tips of his fingers began gently rubbing into Victor's scalp, little moans escaped from those pouting lips. Victor's tongue encircled the head of his cock a few times before putting it into his mouth, gingerly sucking at the sensitive pierced flesh.
"Holy fuck Victor!"
Victor's head began to move, taking a bit more of him in with each stroke. Grace's mouth yearned open, his lips forming a perfect O. The tight skin of his cheeks stretching over the sharply angled bones of his face. The muscles of his entire body went limp. Countless movies he watched and thought how incredible this moment. No amount of porn, no amount of masturbation could prepare him for this. Grace looked down, to see Victor staring right back up at him. Victor grabbed Grace's hands and pushed them downward, forcing his mouth down to the base of Grace's shaft. As Victor came up for air, Grace pulled his head back down, forcing his cock back down Victor's throat in one go. Victor could see him smile, a smile laced with lust. He was going to come.
One hand gripped the base of his cock and the other gripped Grace's hands off of the back of his head. Victor was panting now and right over the tip of his cock to. His hand began to move faster, precome leaking steadily down Grace's shaft. Grace's keen eye watching Victor's open mouth.
"I'm coming!"
Victor released his hand from Grace's cock and just like that, the incredible sensation began to dissipate. "No. Please." Grace was begging. He couldn't believe that he was actually begging Victor to fuck him. Grace always thought it'd be the other way around.
Victor took out a single lubricated condom, ripped the package with his teeth and slid it down Grace's cock in one single practiced motion.
Victor
He slid down Grace's shaft with little discomfort. At first glance, the task at hand seemed to be equal to fisting without lube, so the condom definitely helped. Grace was rough. Victor tried to rest from ten minutes of nonstop straddling of Grace's cock, and he would thrust right back into him whenever he'd pull out. Hard to, the unrelenting abuse of Victor's ass that he sure as hell knew he'd feel the next day. How Grace didn't come already was a mystery to Victor.
How he loved the way Grace's face looked during orgasm. Victor was sure neither of them had ever come so hard. Grace didn't stop until he was completely limp, even then he wanted to keep going. Victor had to physically tell him to 'stop' before he actually did. Brian would usually just fuck for the sake of fucking. No real meaning to it, just to feel, to take that joy away from him as much as he could. But Grace, he could tell he cared. At least he had asked a few times if he was hurting him.
They lay there for a few moments panting, kissing, smiling. This point in both of their lives, it no longer mattered. All he wanted was comfort and was sure Grace wanted the same. After a fuck like that, they sure as hell got it.
Grace stroked his hair soothingly, those piercing light blue eyes never leaving his. He didn't seem to be able to get the smile off of his face. "That was, wonderful."
“Mmm, not so bad your self.”
“I didn’t hurt you did I?”
“Not to bad no. I’ve had worst.” Why am I telling him this?
“Victor…You…you weren’t…raped. Were you?”
Fuck, why did I decide to do anything with him? Why! How am I going to answer this? “What do you define as rape?”
“Define? You’re questioning people you’ve had sex with?”
“Person.”
“Did he take advantage of you?”
There was a long pause. “Yes.” Shut the fuck up before he never talks to you again! “That shit doesn’t matter now. It’s a thing of the past.”
“Victor, who hurt you.”
He, actually cares? “It doesn’t matter!”
“Why are you defending this asshole anyway! This guy isn’t your friend, trust me.”
“I’m not defending him. I just…I don’t even know why I even told you this. Can we just…forget about it?”
“No I can’t. This guy hurt you and you won’t tell me who it is! I just want to know Victor. I pomise I won’t tell anyone.”
“You promise you won’t hurt the guy?” Grace sighed heavily, then nodded. “The guy’s name is Brian. His cousin owns this club. That’s why I didn’t want to come here.”
“I-I…I’m sorry that I insisted on coming here. If I’d known I…”
“I know. It’s okay.”
to be continued....reviews please!!!
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