Shelly's Wish | By : Mordeo Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 1437 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Bert was bored. And he’d just been kicked out of France. And he was bored. And he was slightly drunk. And he was running through the hotel lobby, naked, while the security guards chased him and tourists hid their children. Then something caught his attention: A copy of some rumor mill magazine, and the front cover featured a picture of the lead singer of My Chemical Romance. Gerard Way. Bert decided, while frantically pushing the elevator’s ‘door closed’ button, that he should pay the Ways a call.
o0o
Gerard was in the back of their tour bus, working on a sketch of a scarecrow. It was a scant month since a very drunk Bert had shown up at their door clutching a magazine that claimed that Gerard was the son of Satan, and demanded one last tour before Gerard went back to Hell. Gerard, of course, had rolled his eyes and invited Bert inside. Now the tour bus was on its way to Las Vegas. Mikey and Frank were lounging in the ‘living room’, and Bob, Ray, and Bert were in the small kitchen area, Bob and Ray eating nachos, and Bert sitting on the floor in front of the dishwasher, pressing buttons. Gerard shook his head and went back to his work.
A few seconds later, he heard a large BOOM, followed shortly by Mikey yelling, “BERT!!!!!!” and the sound of the bus breaking down. He sighed, ran his hand through his hair, and stood up to survey the damage.
o0o
“What possessed you to use the Dishwasher to make macaroni-n-cheese anyway?!” Mikey asked Bert angrily, as he scrubbed at the orange-ish goop on the front of his shirt, which was now draped over and into the hotel sink.
“Hey! It’s not my fault! How was I supposed to know it would explode? All I knew was I was hungry and it wouldn’t fit in the microwave!!”
Gerard sighed. Then he asked their tour manager, George, the most obvious question.
“How long until the bus is fixed?”
“The auto parts store here doesn’t carry the part we need, so we have to wait while they ship it. It’ll be at least three days.”
Bert, of course, felt the need to pitch in.
“And where the fuck are we, anyway?”
“It’s a little town called…” George consulted his map, then pushed up his glasses as he read, “West Chester.”
“No way! Dudes, this is too cool! This is the town where Bam Marghera lives. Dudes!” Frank said suddenly.
Bert jumped out of his seat excitedly.
“Finally! Bro to my soul! Bam! Guys, we should go see him.”
“Isn’t one of you enough?” Ray asked, worriedly.
“I hear Bam’s a good, responsible guy, when he’s not pranking for MTV.” Bob said.
“Great. Grown up Bert.” Gerard said, laughing as Bert put on Mikey’s damp shirt over his own.
“Well, let’s go then.” Mikey interjected, then did a double take. “Hey! Oaf! Gimme my shirt back!” But Bert was already out the door. Everyone followed, and Gerard took a second to stick his head back in the room to talk to George.
“Take the night off. You look like you could use it.”
Then he followed his band and his friend out the door.
o0o
Bam looked up from the magazine he’d been reading when he head the door bell ring. Eighteen times in a row. Phil yelled up at him.
“Bam! There’s some of your crowd here to see you!” Bam’s forehead wrinkled as he stood up and slid down the stair banister. Standing in the doorway was a slightly swaying Bert, a bare-chested and pissed looking Mikey Way, and a nervous looking Ray, Bob, Frank, and Gerard. He blinked.
“I didn’t know you guys were coming to town.”
“We weren’t planning on it, but Bert blew up the tour bus.” Mikey said, pouting like a three year old, arms folded and all.
“Well come in, and let me get you a shirt. Then you can tell me about it. We didn’t hear anything about an explosion on the news…”
“Well, it was a small explosion. The moral of the story was not to cook macaroni and cheese in the dishwasher, and I think Bert learned that lesson well.” Gerard said wryly.
Bam’s eyebrows rose and his mouth dropped open in surprise.
“You’re kidding, right? You must be kidding.” He looked from one face to the other, and each of them shook their heads. A huge grin spread to his face.
“Awesome! Do you mind if I use the idea for the show?”
“Go ahead dude.” Bert said, from where he was poking a plant in one corner. April was watching him like a hawk after hearing about the Mac and Cheese incident, and she looked a little scared of him.
“Not in our dishwasher you don’t!” She screeched at Bam, who threw up his hands in submission.
“Maybe I can use Vido’s. So, why the dishwasher, anyway?” Bam asked.
“Well, Twenty Three boxes of Mac and Cheese doesn’t fit in the microwave very well…”
“Geez! Maybe you guys are just what the town needs! April, I’m going to take the boys out for some fun. We probably won’t be home for dinner.”
“Alright.” She said, trying not to sigh in relief.
Gerard smiled at her, and she hesitantly smiled back.
“Thank you for loaning us your son, Ma’am, Sir.”
“Now that’s how you should have raised Bam.” They heard Phil say as they walked out the door.
Out of the hearing of the others, Bam draped an arm around Bert’s shoulders. “Kinda boring, aren’t they?”
Bert grinned.
“Wait ‘til Gerard gets drunk. Or horny.”
Bam grinned and showed them to his SUV, mentally licking his lips.
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