Hush | By : LadyRevenge Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 804 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
This is as quiet as it gets
Hush down now, go to sleep
We were once perfect, me and you
We’ll never leave this room
Hush
You color my eyes red
Your love’s not live it’s dead
This letter’s written itself inside out again
When rivers turn to roads
And lovers become trends
Hush
This is where it ends
This is the calming before the storm
We’ve been here like before
This absolution is always incomplete
It’s always bittersweet
I won’t make a sound so you don’t wake
Don’t wake
Don’t wake
You don’t wake
Hush
You color my eyes red
Your love’s not live it’s dead
This letter’s written itself inside out again
When rivers turn to roads
And lovers become trends
Hush
This is where it ends
This is where it ends
She was so sick of it; so tired of being his punching bag. She stared at the fading redness around her left eye in the mirror; the remnants of what he called “a love tap” disappearing as she applied her makeup.
You color my eyes red
She’d had absolutely enough of the abuse and there was only one thing left to do. She called him and asked if he could meet her at her place that evening. He’d agreed and as she hung up the phone, a small smile graced her rosy lips. Everything would happen just as she’d planned. She’d already set everything up, so she sat down and reclined back into the cushy sofa in her living room and began to write the letter.
This is the calming before the storm
The doorbell rang right on time and she got up to open the door.
“Hey sugar,” he said, smiling that charming smile she used to melt from. She forced a smile and backed up so he could step inside. “You look great.” She forced herself to smile as she closed the door behind him.
“Thanks,” she said, and walked into the kitchen to pour them each a drink. He sat down on the sofa and propped his feet up on the coffee table like he always did. It was just one more thing about him she had grown to hate. After an argument one night, he’d sat down like that on her sofa and she asked him if he was raised in a barn and he had bloodied her nose with a backhand to the face. The blood stain was faint but still visible on the throw pillow. She kept it turned inward when she couldn’t scrub it out completely and also so she wouldn’t have a constant reminder of the suffering he’d caused her.
She came back into the living room and handed him his drink as she sat beside him and curled her feet up under her legs. He took a long drink and then sat the glass on the end table next to a framed picture of the two of them at the park, taken just a couple of months after they had started seriously dating.
“So what did you have in mind for tonight?” He asked, turning to watch her lips resting on the rim of her glass as she sipped her vodka on the rocks. She flicked her eyes his way and let the corner of her mouth upturn in a seductive half smile. She sat her glass on the coffee table and scooted closer to him.
“I just wanted to spend some quality time with you.” She rested her head on his chest and felt his arm wrap around her shoulders. She closed her eyes and tried to remember what it was like before the beating began; how the same way they were sitting now felt then. It was safe and comforting to her then, but now it only made her skin crawl. She had to force herself to not flinch every time she felt his touch so he wouldn’t see.
We were once perfect, me and you
She felt him move and then heard the tinkering of ice in a glass as she realized he’d reached for his drink again. She hoped it would take effect soon. She only put enough of the drug in it to make him sleepy. She had to get him to the bedroom. Knowing it was the only way, she started trailing her fingers down his stomach to the waistband of his black jeans. She opened her eyes and tilted her face up to look at him. His head was lying back against the sofa and his eyes were closed. She sat up some and kissed his prominent jaw line. He opened his eyes and looked down at her. He saw that wanting look in her eyes and knew what she was asking for. He bit his bottom lip as he closed the distance between their mouths and kissed her. She closed her eyes, feeling the only piece of happiness he gave her anymore falling upon her lips. She’d never grown tired of his kisses, and she knew they would be the only thing she would miss about him. She deepened it, making it everything she always loved about it one last time.
“Come on,” he suddenly said as he broke their kiss. She looked at him as he motioned towards the bedroom with his head. She got up and followed him and closed the door behind her. He stood by the bed and slipped his shirt off over his head, his raven hair spilling back down around his shoulders and into his eyes. She unbuttoned her blouse and let it fall to the floor as she stepped closer to him and ran her hands across his chest. She saw his hand reach for her chin, tilting her face up to look into his own.
“I love you,” he whispered, and she let herself smile as she nodded.
“I know.” He leaned forward to bury his face in the soft dip in her neck, and she closed her eyes as a tear slipped past her coal black lashes and trailed down her cheek.
Your love’s not live it’s dead
His touch on her skin was unusually soft and gentle, the way it used to be. As he laid her back and rested on top of her, she actually began to doubt whether she should go through with her plan after all. Maybe he wouldn’t do it again. Maybe it was just a phase. As he kissed down her neck, she turned her head to the side and her eyes fell on the dresser across the room. She saw the empty spot on the wall above it and she had to close her eyes as images flooded her brain and memories of two weeks before rushed back to her. A painting used to hang on the wall there, but in one of his fits of rage he had ripped it off the wall and slung it at her like a Frisbee, bashing her in the face with it and knocking her out on the floor. The black eye she’d tried so desperately to cover with makeup was the result, and she had to visit the ER for a slight concussion; yet another lie she had to tell to someone to cover up his violent temper. She knew then that her plan had to come to its fruition or it would never stop. Never.
She felt his hand between them, tugging at her zipper, and she almost threw him off of her and just did it right then. But she knew her strength would be dominated by his. She had to be patient and let the drug take effect. It was the only way she’d be able to control him for once. He pulled her jeans off and dropped them to the floor. He kissed down her belly and cupped his hands over her sheathed breasts. She only wanted it to be over and done with, but she knew she had to let him finish, and in a way, she wanted it herself. She needed it; some sort of closure to that part of their life together that had once been so wonderful and fulfilling to her. They made love slowly and for a long time, enjoying each other again for the first time in months. When they were done, she nestled up beside him as he turned his back towards her and tucked himself under the covers. She waited there next to him; still and unmoving as if she too were going to sleep, hoping he’d drift off fast.
Hush down now, go to sleep
After a little while, she noticed his breathing was steady, and he was probably asleep. She moved slowly off the bed and dressed silently.
I won’t make a sound so you don’t wake
Sneaking over to the dresser she opened the top drawer and reached in to get something. Her eyes glanced up to the empty space on the wall and her eyes narrowed at the memories that she’d remembered before. It would all be over soon, and she was actually able to smile as she closed the drawer and turned back towards the bed. She padded over and knelt on the corner of the bed, sitting on her feet and watching as his side rose and fell with each breath. She looked down at what she had in her hands; a white envelope and a gun. No more would his rage cause her pain and tears. No more would he think he could dominate her. No more would he be able to control her life even when he wasn’t in her presence. She crawled over behind him and leaned down over his head. She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and grazed her nose over his ear.
“This is where it ends,” she whispered. She sat back up and placed her pillow over his head and pressed the barrel of the gun against it. She closed her eyes and felt a tear fall down her cheek as she pulled the trigger.
This absolution is always incomplete
It’s always bittersweet
The sound was loud against the muffle of the pillow, and when she opened her eyes, feathers were raining down around her. She watched as some settled on his naked shoulder. Out of the corner of her eye she saw his leg twitch once, then nothing. It was finally over. She looked down at the envelope in her now trembling hand. She laid the gun down beside her and opened it. She pulled out the paper and unfolded it. With wet, blurred vision she read the letter she’d written just a couple of hours before. The letter she’d thought about for weeks, and was finally strong enough to write.
This letter’s written itself inside out again
She knew it would never be the same now, and that her plan was only one more task away from being completed. She laid the open letter at the foot of the bed and picked up the gun again. She pressed it to her temple and took a deep breath; her last. She pulled the trigger and her body slumped over his legs, the gun dropping to the bed among a spatter of red.
We’ll never leave this room
It had to happen to end the suffering. I couldn’t take it anymore. The long therapy sessions only concreted my initial thoughts that nothing would ever be able to pull me back to the life I used to lead. I only went to therapy to please everyone, but knew it would never help. I was too far gone. I tried everything I could to make Gerard stop, but he never would. I begged, I wrote him letters and e-mails, I even tried to leave him a few times, but he threatened to kill me if I ever did. I used to love him with all my heart and soul, but he proved to me that even the deepest of love could be tainted with rage and hatred, and I knew I’d never be able to love anyone properly ever again. I am happy now, and I don’t expect anyone to understand that, but I need them to know that it’s how I truly am now. I only wish I could have achieved it in life instead of in death.
I am not sorry for what I’ve done and I know that is going to hurt Gerard’s family a great deal, but they never knew the monster he was and this was the only way I could end the pain for all the other girls he would have done this to eventually. Look at it as sacrificing a life to save many. I am finally at peace again, and so is he. He was hurting inside, and I finally realized that that was the reason for his outbursts and abuse towards me. I don’t know what caused the hurt he experienced, but I do know it was never me. All I ever did was love him, and all he ever did was slowly kill us both. In the bottom drawer of my dresser is all the proof anyone will ever need of the horror I lived in with Gerard every day. I hope it will open the eyes of the blind and make them see who he really was.
Tell my parents and sister I love them very much and always have. I will be here waiting for them. Take care of my cat Pansy and please don’t put him to sleep. My best friend Alyssa will probably want to adopt him. Please tell Alyssa that I love her and she was the best friend anyone could ever have. Thank her for me for being all she was to me. I will never forget her.
I’m so glad it’s all over.
Goodbye,
Kaylee
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