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Keeping Past Mistakes From Being Future Desicions	By : TibbsandBee33 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Fall Out Boy Views: 1350 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Fall Out Boy. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Keeping Past Mistakes From Being Future Desicions
- 1
It had been almost two years since Fall Out Boy went on a hiatus, a break the they never had any intention on coming back from. It was over whether many including Patrick were willing to accept it or not. Sure he occasionally talked with the guys from Gym Class, Cobra, The Academy is… and even Joe and Andy from his own band, once a month at the most, but it wasn’t the same without Pete. Pete had always been the Bonnie to Patrick’s Clyde, the Ethel to Patrick’s Lucy, his well you get the point. Patrick knew it was going to be difficult but he never imagined it feeling this intense; he missed Pete more and more everyday. After that last fight with him, Patrick had told Joe and Andy that he was done; that he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t pretend the way that Pete could, he couldn’t hide the way he felt like Pete and mostly that he couldn’t sit back and act like he wasn’t in pain. That night he left, he could still remember the last words he spoke to Pete while he was packing.
Flashback:
“So this is it then?” Pete was watching Patrick as he packed, he had tried to leave but he couldn’t; not without knowing first. “You’re giving up on us because of one stupid fight, one stupid mistake? Because of her?”
Patrick had been trying to ignore his presence lingering in the room but the longer Pete stayed the harder it got for Patrick to breathe. Pete could see Patrick struggling with what he wanted to say. He turned to face Pete and in that moment he knew it was a mistake seeing him in the ever present hoodie and those tight black jeans made it all the harder to actually say what he knew needed to be said.
“Pete I’m leaving because you made a decision. Your choice was her and I can’t just sit and watch you make this mistake. I’ve watched you make too many already, I no longer want to take part in any of the fucked up situations you get yourself into.” Patrick wasn’t angry he was hurt; all the things Pete had put him through from the naked pictures scandal to the suicide attempt to the constant fights at shows; Patrick was always scared, worrying or hurt by Pete’s actions but this hurt the most. “I love you Pete and last night you broke my heart. I walked into our hotel room and found you with her. The girl you use to make fun of because she was stupid enough to actually get caught lip synching, I have nothing against her professionally but personally you cheated on me with her and when I asked you to decide who you wanted in your life more, I mean I know you wanted to keep us under wraps but I didn’t think that meant you could sleep with anyone you wanted. I thought that meant we wouldn’t date other people, men or women, but you obviously had other plans. I watched you last night hesitate when I gave you that ultimatum and that was and still is enough for me. So have a good life, enjoy it with her but I want you to know that I love you, I more than likely always will and that some day you’re going to regret hesitating.”
“Patrick…” Pete didn’t know what he had wanted to say, he had lost the words, the words he used to be known for. Patrick touched his cheek, caressing it slightly before kissing Pete letting his lips linger on Pete’s for a second to long as he pulled away he tasted his own tears, he looked at Pete and smiled a sad smile. As he grabbed his duffel bag he heard his name whispered from the other man’s lips again, “Patrick” This time he didn’t look at him just walked to the door letting himself out not making a sound until he got to the elevator. As the elevator doors closed he lost control, grabbing onto the railing he steadied himself as the tears continued to come.
End Flashback
He hadn’t talked to Pete since that night, sure he had seen the pictures of him and Ashlee in the magazines, and yea he was guilty of reading them but it only made things worse for today. Today he couldn’t avoid Pete; today is Gabe and Vicky’s day. They’re getting married and Patrick isn’t going to ruin it for them. He maybe bitter but there was no reason for anyone else to be. He thought he wouldn’t have to actually be close to Pete in anyway, the ceremony was beautiful but Patrick was having a hard time taking his eyes away from Pete who stood directly next to Gabe, of course he is the best man, Patrick rolled his eyes, I seriously need a drink. That’s what he was doing a lot of lately, drinking, he didn’t really care what it was just that it did the trick; made him forget the things that he couldn’t stop thinking about when he was sober. So when the ceremony was over that’s where he headed, skipping the receiving line he went straight to the bar getting himself a crown and coke before heading to the table and to the seat that he had been assigned and that’s when he saw it.
“Fuck” He couldn’t help the fact that the word came out of his mouth. Sitting on his left was Joe, which he was ok with but on his right was Ashlee, the one person that he was sure he wouldn’t be able to keep himself from killing once he had a couple more drinks. By the time he had finished his drink the room had gotten pretty full and it was time to put his smile on and say hello to people he hadn’t seen or talked to in almost a year. He headed towards the bride and groom but before he had made it there he heard someone call his name. Turning around he spotted a fairly tall black man with some straightened black hair standing behind him.
“Travie,” Patrick did the hand clasp man hug greeting, “How are you?”
“I’m good, what about you? It’s been almost what a year since I’ve heard from or seen you.” Travie had never seen Patrick looked this down before.
“I’m ok, ya know. Some days are better than others but I guess that’s the way life is.” Patrick shrugged his shoulders. He looked around trying to figure out the quickest way back to the bar but instead of formulating his plan he locked eyes with the one man that he had been determined to ignore at all cost, Pete. He looked away as soon as he realized who he was staring at. Travie turned to see what had taken Patrick’s attention spotting Pete a sly smile formed on his face.
“He misses you ya know?” Travie was being an instigator. “Really truly misses you.”
“No if he missed me he wouldn’t have brought his two cent whore with him.” Patrick motioned at Ashlee with his head. Travie couldn’t stop the loud laugh that had come out of his mouth but he stopped as abruptly as he could.
“Patrick, she’s actually really nice if you get to know her.” Travie raised an eyebrow at the shorter man.
“Yea, well ya know. I was about to get a beer and say hello to the bride and groom did you want to join me?” Travie shook his head inclined his head in the direction of Pete and Ashlee.
“I’m going to say hello.” Patrick shrugged his shoulders and walked in the directions of Gabe and Vicky.
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Patrick stared at the glass in his hand, this was his 8^th or was it my 9^th drink and couldn’t help the bitter laugh that came out. He felt a hand on his shoulder and since his reaction time was quite slowed he didn’t realize that the person had sat down next to him until he looked up to find out who it was.
“’Trick?” Andy waved his hand in front of his face, “How much have you had to drink?”
“Andy!!” Patrick exclaimed quite loudly leaning over and hugging his vegan friend. “I don’t know, I definitely need another one though.” He went to get up tripping over his own feet and found himself back in his chair. He looked at Andy who was trying not to laugh at the confused look on Patrick’s face. “What the hell just happened?”
“I think that you’ve had enough for today,” Andy reached over and took the glass from Patrick’s hand. “It’s been a while? How have you been?” Andy tried not hearing the irony in that question especially after taking that drink from Patrick.
Patrick took a deep breath and thought about the answer he should give, the typical I’m fine, the I’ve been better, or the truth I feel like shit because I can’t get Pete off my fucking mind even after the past two years when I haven’t talked to him. Instead of the three options he had just gone over he shrugged his shoulders and reached for the drink that Andy had taken from him.
“That bad huh?” Andy watched Patrick nod and pushed the drink back over to him.
“So let’s talk about you. How are you Andy?” Patrick had been sitting at the bar since the reception began; he looked towards his seat where his jacket and his keys were he could see Ashlee with her fake blonde hair and tanorexic skin he made a disgusted look and saw Andy had stopped talking. “What? I’m sorry I kind of lost myself.”
“Yea, while you stared at Ashlee,” Patrick made a confused face trying to pretend that he didn’t know what Andy was talking about. “Oh, don’t play stupid with me. I talked to Travie, Gabe, Ryland and Joe earlier and they all said the same thing. You are still in love with Pete and you still hate Ashlee.”
“And I shouldn’t be?” Andy should know better than to get a drunken Patrick angry. “I shouldn’t hate her? I shouldn’t love him? Do you know how hard I’ve tried to forget him and her for that matter, I go to the fucking gas station and their faces are planted every where I look. Andy I tried so hard to forget him and the feelings I had for him, it didn’t work and I can’t pretend like it did. That’s why I’m back here instead of sitting at my assigned table.”
“Patrick he misses you, talk to him maybe you can start new. Be friends again. You might even get along with Ashlee” Patrick shook his head at Andy’s words.
“You don’t understand, none of you do. I have to go.” The eating and the toast were over and the dancing was beginning and Patrick new this was the time to make the escape he had been planning. “I missed you Andy but I need you to understand that the way I feel about Pete isn’t going to go away. I haven’t changed anything, my address, my phone number or my email because I’ve been hoping he would change his mind and send me a signal that he wants me as a lover or even just as a friend. Now I’ve realized he’s over me, he’s over the feelings he had been so adamant he had for me.” Patrick looked back over towards the table and didn’t see Ashlee anymore. “It just doesn’t matter anymore.” Standing up he hugged Andy, “I love you man next time your in Chicago you should call me we’ll get together.” Before Andy could respond Patrick had walked away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It took him almost ten minutes to get from the bar to his table, everyone wanted to talk to him see how he was doing and he felt like he was suffocating by the time he emerged from the group of people that had surrounded him. He walked over to his chair, grabbing his jacket and as he reached for his keys he heard a soft voice say his name.
“Patrick,” He took a deep breath and turned towards Ashlee, “how are you?” Patrick wanted to smack that stupid smile off her face and maybe even rip the ugly blonde hair out taking her brown roots with it. Instead he looked at her blankly not responding. “Look, Patrick what happened was a long time ago and I thought that maybe we could be civil to each other especially now that Pete and I have…”
“I don’t really care what you and Pete have been doing Ashlee.” Patrick cut her off before she could continue and he almost laughed at the confused look on her face. “I really don’t anymore. I have to go before I say or do something that I’m going to regret.”
As he was about to turn to leave he could feel someone walk up behind him and by the smell of cologne it was the precise person or reason he had been trying to leave as fast he possibly could. He sighed and tried to slide by him without turning around. Pete grabbed his arm and turned Patrick towards him. Before words could be exchanged Patrick ripped his arm from Pete’s grasp and walked as fast as he could without running. He headed towards his car willing himself not to cry as he pulled his key out of the pants pocket he heard footsteps running towards him. He knew it was Pete and he kept walking; he pulled the door open but before it was completely open it was slammed shut by another hand.
“Patrick.” As he heard his name he closed his eyes wishing that Pete would leave him alone, “Trick look at me, talk to me.”
“Pete it’s been two years and now you want to talk?” Patrick couldn’t believe his luck. He looked at Pete, searching for a reason. Pete looked down, trying to figure out if he should say the things that were playing in his mind. He hesitated before doing the only rational thing that he could think of; he pressed his lips against Patrick’s, hoping that Patrick would reciprocate the action. He only had to wait a few seconds before Patrick responded, allowing himself to get swept away by Pete. As they parted Patrick realized what had just happened.
“Oh god,” Patrick turned his head away from Pete, “Why are you doing this Pete? Why do you always do this to me? You reel me in, pretend like this is going to be something and then go back to the life your use to.”
“What are you talking about Patrick?” Pete was confused.
“You’re here with Ashlee, the girl that you’ve been dating for the last two years and instead of being in there with her you’re out here with me.” Patrick was a second away from panicking.
“Ashlee? Is she why you’ve been ignoring me?” Everything was becoming clearer to Pete, the way Patrick avoided his eyes, the table he didn’t sit at and the drinks that he had been devouring all night. “Patrick, Ashlee and I were never together. After you left I went through a rough time. I use to blame it on you, that’s why I didn’t try to talk to you that whole first year. Ashlee helped me; ya know accept that it wasn’t your fault that it was mostly my own fault. I cheated on you and pretended like you left me without any reason. I hurt you, broke your heart and all I’ve wanted for the last two years was to be close to you again, physically, emotionally and psychologically. You were and continue to be my everything, I know this may sound cheesy but I don’t care. Cheese is all I have right now.”
“So you never once dated Ashlee?” Patrick couldn’t wrap his mind around that especially after all the images he had seen in magazines and on the internet.
“Does it matter?” At the look on Patrick’s face he continued, “Yea I guess. I mean we dated on and off for like four months but it never meant anything and I was confused. But about six months ago, I ran into your mom at the grocery store and she told me that you had become a hermit again. Like before the band, when the only places you would venture to were work, Borders and your parents.”
“What? You saw my mom?” Patrick was ashamed of how true the statement was, he didn’t really leave his house that much.
“Yea, she asked me what had happened and I realized that you didn’t tell her what a horrible person I had become, the way I treated you and that’s when I became aware of how much I truly loved you. After everything with the band breaking up and you taking most of the flack for I just hadn’t realized that I would be nothing without you. I confessed to Ashlee and she told me she knew that she had known all along. Ashlee is my friend; one of my best friends but you, you’re so much more.”
“I want to believe you Pete, I really do but it’s hard to tell your lies from your truths.”
“’Trick, I don’t how to lie to you. That’s why we ended up in this situation. I was stupid and I knew who I wanted then and I know who I want now I’ve just been too scared to admit it but it’s more than wanting you now, its how much I need you. My lyrics are shit, I haven’t been able to design anything decent for clandestine and I just don’t have the will to play music anymore and that’s all because you are my inspiration for all of it, my past, present and hopefully my future. Patrick, just trust me, come back into that room with me, holding my hand and we’ll show them who we truly are.” Pete put his hand out and waited for Patrick to weigh his options. Patrick took Pete’s hand without a hesitation and squeezed, hoping that he had made the right decision.
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Ten years later:
Patrick watched Pete as he took the little girls hand, the little girl who looked remarkable like him. He couldn’t help the smile that came across his face as he watched the older child like man lift the giggling little girl into the air swinging her around. They had gotten married almost seven years ago as soon as it was legal in the states and he remembered the day almost four years ago when they decided to have children, Ashlee volunteered to be the surrogate mother, and when they found out that she was pregnant Pete had cried. They both wanted this child this little being more than anything and they held their breathe throughout the whole pregnancy helping Ashlee in anyway that they could.
“Daddy,” He smiled as his train of thought was broken, “Daddy? You said you were going to come out and go on the walk with me, dad, and Hemmy!” Patrick laughed as the little girl launched herself into his arms as he turned around. “Please, please, please can we go get ice cream afterwards too? Dad said to ask you with my puppy dog eyes because he wants to go really bad too but he thought I could get you to say yes faster.”
“Ok, but Aly you better get a jacket and put some real shoes on instead of those sandals it might rain.” Patrick shook his head at how fast she talked when she was excited. She is way too much like her dad.
“Yay! Dad, daddy said we could go get ice cream afterwards.” Pete smiled as he walked into the kitchen closing the sliding glass door behind him. “I gotta change my shoes and get a jacket first though.”
Pete watched as the little girl made her way up the stairs, he looked over at his husband, husband man do I love the sound of that, the smile Patrick had on matched his own, the laugh that came out of Patrick’s mouth made Pete smile even more.
“And what sir are you laughing about?” Pete took a couple of steps closer to Patrick.
“Just how much our daughter talks and acts like you.” Patrick laughed at the serious look that Pete got on his face.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Pete wrapped his arms around slightly taller man’s waist when he got close enough.
“Well, while the idea of more than one of you is kind of daunting,” He kissed Pete softly when he went to defend himself, “at least this one has had my influence since she was born and has a bit more control over herself then you had or ever will.” Pete laughed and leaned down catching Patrick’s lips in a kiss.
“Well you’re probably right about the self control,” Pete lips hadn’t moved from Patrick’s, “Happy Anniversary Baby.” Patrick pulled back and raised his eyebrow at him.
“What are you talking about? It’s October and we got married in February.” Patrick had always known Pete would lose his mind at some point but he never imagined it being this early in his life.
“It was ten years ago today that we finally got together, ten years today that we both threw caution to the wind so to speak and allowed ourselves to fall completely and utterly in love with each other.”
“You’re such a sap.” Patrick laid his head down on Pete’s shoulder, “But I love you none the less.”
“And I love you.” They both laughed as they heard the sound of gagging come from behind them. Turning around they saw the little girl that completed their family, well for now at least. She stuck her tongue out at her parents and headed towards the door.
“Shit that means I for got to send Gabe and Vicky a Happy Anniversary card.” Pete laughed kissed Patrick again before pulling him towards the door.
- 1
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Keeping Past Mistakes From Being Future Desicions