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Anthem of Our Dying Day	By : TaimaMarie Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 829 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Anthem of Our Dying Day
- 1
“I’ve been looking for you.” The voice cut through the stillness that he had found up here. He turned and smiled as he saw the man standing there.
“I was worried.”
“No reason to be worried.” He answered softly.
“Oh no?” there was a rolling of eyes as a foot kicked an empty beer bottle. “Seems to me there’s a lot of reason to worry. You’ve been up here all day.”
“Is that really so bad?” there was an acoustic guitar sitting on the roof next to him. Ville turned back and looked up at the stars, glowing weakly. They were far from the city, but not far enough. He longed to see them brighter.
“Will you please tell me what the matter is?” the man was coming closer to him. Before he could say anything, the guitar was being moved, and the man was sitting down next to him.
“You already know.”
“So we’re back to that.” The man sighed. He watched as the star gazer lit up a cigarette. He watched the smoke drift above his head. Silently, he reached out and tried to catch it in his palm.
But it just drifted through his fingers, as smoke is wont to do. His hand dropped down to scrape against the rough shingles of the roof.
“We’ll always be back to that.”
“Ville…”
“Bam,” the smoking man supplied. He flicked his ash away. “I just hate being like this.”
“What do you want me to do, Ville?”
“You know that, too!”
“You’re killing me.” Bam closed his eyes and leaned back. He looked up at the stars as well. “You’re asking for the one thing I can’t give you.”
“The one thing you won’t give me.”
“That’s not true.” Bam protested. “I love you.”
“You must not.”

The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight.
And this is the moment that I live for.
I can smell the ocean air.
And here I am,
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops.
Just a ghost,
To the world.
That’s exactly,
Exactly what I need.

“I do love you.”
“Could you prove it?”
“How? How do you want me to do that? Just tell me what you need Ville, and I’ll give it to you.”
“Jump,”
“What?” Bam stared at the man. He was clearly too drunk to be thinking straight.
“Jump with me.” He gestured towards the ground, a good many stories below him. This was a rather large hotel. Just thinking about it made Bam dizzy, regardless of the fact that it was probably one of the least stupid things he would probably ever have done in his life.
“That’s seriously what you want?”
“Yes!”
“O-Okay,” Bam stammered. Ville stared at him.
“Really?” he breathed.
“If that’s what you want.” Ville stood up, offered his hand to Bam. He pulled him up, and they crept towards the edge of the roof. Once there, Ville clasped Bam around the waist.
“Look at the world.” He whispered into the soft ear surrounded by curly brown hair. “Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Yes,” Bam looked at Ville and swallowed. “It is.” He reached up with one hand to cup his cheek.

From up here the city lights burn,
Like a thousand miles of fire.
And I’m here to sing this anthem,
Of our dying.

“You know I’ve thought about this before.”
“What? Jumping or dying?”
“Both,” The Finn said it so casually, as though remarking on the weather that day. “But I’ve never been able to do it.”
“Why?”
“Because of you. Because I knew that I couldn’t die without you, just like I can’t live without you.”
“I see,” Bam’s heart was instantly torn. It was possibly the most beautiful thing that anyone had ever said to him. It was also the most upsetting. He leaned back into the body cradling him.
“So I wished that something horrible would happen to both of us, so that we could both we dead. But I didn’t want us to die apart. I wanted to die with you.”
The blue eyes closed. He wondered how much the singer had had to drink that night, just what was going on in his mind. Bam could feel his legs start to tremble, could feel his heart start to thud in his chest.
“Ville,”
“Hush, my sweet.” Ville purred to him. “I won’t let you fall alone. Have I ever?”
No, indeed Ville had not. Ville had been there for him, caught him and held him at every turn. He sucked in his breath and let it out slowly, feeling it go ragged on a sob. The green eyed one stroked the hair back from his forehead.
“Are you scared?” he asked softly.
“Not as long as you’re with me, Bam, not as long as you’re here with me.”

For a second I wish the tide,
Would swallow every inch of this city.
As you gasp for air tonight,
I’d scream this song,
Right in your face,
If you were here.
Swear I won’t,
Miss a beat.
‘Cause I never,
Never have before.

“Look down now, Bam.” Ville demanded. And he obeyed. The ground swayed beneath them, and he gasped.
“It’s such a long way.”
“It won’t seem that long.” He was smiling; the skater could feel it in the skin on his neck. Ville pressed tender kisses along the column of that neck, nuzzled it lovingly. “It won’t seem a long time at all, being in one another’s arms.”
“How can you be sure that we’ll die?” he murmured. “Maybe we’ll just break out necks or something.”
“Oh, I don’t think fate will be so cruel to us, do you?” Ville said thoughtfully. Bam could only nod in agreement. Of course the singer was right. It would happen that this would be the one thing the two of them would ever do right in their lives together.
“Are you almost ready?”
“I-I guess.”

From up here the city lights burn,
Like a thousand miles of fire.
And I’m here to sing this anthem,
Of our dying day.

“So you’ll jump with me then? Really?”
“Yes,” Bam closed his eyes again. “I’ll jump with you.”
He felt his arms being lifted by Ville, their fingers laced together. The wind whipped under their arms. He could feel the material of his loose shirt flapping against his skin. He felt the icy tears sliding down his cheeks.
“Oh darling, you mustn’t cry. You mustn’t.” the singer implored. “This isn’t a time for tears.”
“It’s just the leaving everything that’s hard.” He said softly. He felt Ville nod.
“Yes, I know. I hate leaving you.”

Of our dying day,
Of our dying day,
Of our dying...!!!

Bam waited, waited for Ville to fall forward. He was going to fall with him. It struck him then that this was less about jumping, and more about falling with Ville. Jumping was something violent, falling was somehow more pure. It was less about drama and more about giving in.
He heard a soft voice in his ear, saying something, no, it was singing. Ville was singing to him just before they died. Bam’s heart calmed into his chest and he relaxed into the body behind him.
Their arms were drifting down towards their sides. And was it just Bam, or were they moving back from the edge.

For a second I wish the tide,
Would swallow every inch of this city,
As you gasp for air tonight.

“What?” he allowed his eyes to open then. They were sinking towards to sit. He was sitting on Ville’s lap. He was still trembling as his arms wrapped around the slender neck and held tightly, a drowning man to a lifesaver.
“Hush, darling, hush.” He was being rocked a little bit.

From up here the city lights burn,
Like a thousand miles of fire,
And I’m here to sing this anthem,
Of our dying day.

“Why aren’t we jumping?”
“We don’t need to.” Ville assured him, a sweet kiss on his mouth.
“Why don’t we need to?”
“Because you’ve told me everything now that I needed to hear.” He buried his face in Ville’s pale neck, felt the back of his head being cradled.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Yes you did.” The words lacked venom, accusation. They were merely the truth. “You wanted to scare me to make sure I loved you.”
“Yes,”

From up here the city lights burn,
Like a thousand miles of fire,
And I’m here to sing this anthem,
Of our dying day.

“But I know now.” Ville continued. “I know, I know.”
“I’m sorry.” Bam was clutching handfuls of the other man’s shirt. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“So am I. The lengths I have to go to with you, Bam, scare me sometimes.”
“They scare me too.” He felt his tears falling again, wetting the cool skin beneath him. Ville seemed to hold him tighter.
“I don’t mean to make you do them.”
“I know.” They sat there together, under the stars.

From up here the city lights burn,
Like a thousand miles of fire.
And I’m here to sing this anthem,
Of our dying day.

They sat together for hours, staring at one another and at the city lights glowing below them. They sat together, finding comfort, solace, security in knowing just how far they would go for one another.
“I love you,” Ville whispered.
“I love you,” Bam answered.

Of our dying day,
Of our dying…
- 1
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Anthem of Our Dying Day