One Thing | By : TonHyukOTP Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Dong Bang Shin Ki Views: 757 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: DBSG belongs to SME, not me. I am making no profit. I do not know the people about whom I am writing. This story is a work of fiction. |
One Thing
Sequel to Dance With Me
by Stevie (poopsmcgee420@gmail.com)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance, Oneshot, Songfic
Pairing(s): YooSu, YoochunxWhomever (Person is undefined, can be anyone you want to imagine I suppose)
Warnings: The ghey.
Word Count: 1383
Summary: Can Junsu bring Yoochun out of his shell?
A/N: Back by popular demand (and by "popular demand" I mean quiet_heartache told me to do it, so I did) I wrote a sequel to the ever-so-angsty Dance With Me. This one is supposed to be Yoochun seeing Junsu. As usual, sequels always suck more than the originals, so... c'est la vie. Don't murder me, please. Song is One Thing by Finger 11.
~Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line~
I felt like a new person. Not in the good way that people always talk about when they say that, mind. But a new person in the sense that the old me was stolen from me, put somewhere I could never find. I had to reinvent myself. I did my best to reinvent me in the old way, to remake myself as I had been, and for the most part I believe I was successful. At least on the outside.
He stole everything from me. He stole my heart, and ran with it. My vitality, my life... my soul went with it when he ran. I think that's the part I'm still missing. After picking up all the pieces and putting them carefully back together, I am still missing somethig vital. My heart is back, because if it wasn't I would not be in this much pain. Even my liveliness had returned to me, I joke and play as I once did. It is the spirit and soul behind my actions that still remains gone. Will I ever get those back?
It was a sudden change in me that only you and I noticed. To the rest, I went through a tragic breakup and quickly lifted myself off the ground. I knew you could see through that, though. You've always been able to read me, even better than I could read myself.
It is past midnight at the club as I watch your body move to the beat. I slept the day away and figure that it was for the better, because now I can watch the display before me. And I am not a fool. I know it is for me, if I was not here you would not be dancing like that. Your hips sing, Come hither. I want to go to them, to you. But I will not treat you like that. You deserve more than just the shell of a man I have become.
Can you see my heart breaking as I turn away your offer, turn away from the hand you hold to me? I want to let you know how I feel, but I could not bear to see how much more you would hurt knowing that I do care, yet I care too much to risk loving you like you need to be loved. I would rather you think I did not care at all.
~It’s nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line~
I've been through breakups before. They were like nothing. Mostly because this was the first time I'd ever been truly in love with someone I was dating. He knew it. He loved it, but he never loved me. I'm glad that he didn't. It made the fact that he destroyed me completely just a bit more bearable.
He never knew me like you do. I don't know if you know that. I never let him see that much of me. Somehow, part of me is always reserved just for you. No matter where life takes you and me, whether we are side by side or worlds apart, part of me will always be dedicated to you and only you. No-one will ever know me as you do. Like I know you.
I wish I had never loved him. That I had seen how you felt before I met him. That after the breakup I was still whole enough to deserve someone like you. I should have been able to see all along what we had. Somehow I passed over it, perhaps I was even afraid to see it. Because loving you would be risking so much more than I've ever risked before, even with him. I know you would never hurt me, though, not like he did.
~I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time~
You continue dancing after I've turned you down. I feel weak in this moment, watching you, and I'm afraid that if you asked me again I would be unable to refuse you. I am almost tempted to lift myself from my barstool and join you without needing to be asked twice. You move beautifully. I want to be part of that movement. I want to be the reason for it.
I do not deserve someone as perfect as you. You deserve so much more than to be trapped in love with someone like me.
I think that even the motions of your body portray your heartbreak but you, like me, have become very good at pretending you're whole. Part of me was stolen by him. Part of you was stolen by me. I wish I could give it back. If I knew how, I would.
If you ask me every day to be with you, one day I know I will be unable to refuse. I hope you give up on your hopes before I find myself unable to resist you. I do not want to submit you to my ways. Not yet, at least. I am not ready to love again, and with you I will not have a choice. Abandon me before I can hurt you, please. Give up, I am not worth the effort or the heartache.
~Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds~
Each day I see your heart break again. I offer you a smile when you wish you had an embrace. I offer you a pat on the back when you need my lips on your own, and I don't even bat an eyelash. I don't want to see you hurting. I don't want to hurt you anymore. If you would just give up and let me go, you wouldn't ever be hurt by me again. Don't you see that?
Do you really think I am worthy of this attention, this sacrifice? You've handed your heart to me hundreds of times, every single day, and every time I am forced to crush it. You would think a person would learn by now.
And as much as I try to push this off on you and convince myself that it is your fault, that you leave yourself vulnerable to my actions, I know it is my own. I wish it wasn't. I wish it really was your fault. I begin to realize just how badly I am hurting you. How much worse you have had to suffer than I ever did with him. All because of me.
~If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn't that be something~
I think I've begun to get some things straight in my head by this point. At least, I hope I have. For your sake as well as my own. I don't pretend to be an expert at any of this. Love is a very confusing, hurtful, horrible thing that I wish simply didn't exist because then I wouldn't be hurting, and you wouldn't be hurting, and everything would be all better. It does, though. And because of that I've made my decision.
Your body is still swaying to the beat of the song, and I lift myself from the barstool, making my way slowly over to you. My hands meet your hips from behind as I move with you, and you turn to me. Your confused expression melts into one of surprise, your body silently slowing to a stop.
I kiss you. It is like oxygen filling my lungs. You return my kiss desperately, forcefully. Something clicks inside of me. I am whole. From the way you tremble in my arms, I know you are as well.
Your arms are wrapped aound my neck and mine are around your waist and I know people must be staring but I don't care and even as my chest burns for air I wait until I can't stand the pain to pull away and gasp in large breaths. You are gasping as well, and then you are smiling broadly. I smile as well.
Love me, you request softly in my ear.
I kiss you, brushing our lips together tenderly before responding, I always have.
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