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Fly	By : fadingsummer Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Cold Play Views: 799 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't know them, I don't own them, it's not true and this fiction doens't bring me anything.

Chapter List
- 1-Fly
- 1
I had to kiss him. If I wouldn't have done so, I would have died for sure. Every word he ever sang has brought me closer to suicide, and I mean it. What living creature wouldn't die, somewhere in his heart, upon hearing his melody? In order not to go crazy, I have to keep on hitting snares. Which had been enough until the moment I kissed him in order not to kill myself.
This whole suicide thing is some kind of Japanese tendency inside of me. His voice and his presence are so real, so pure to me, that existing next to him is dishonouring me. I don't deserve to feel his warmth or be near him. So to prove my love to him, all I have to do is die for it. Which I long to do, every single day. Die for him.
But somehow there was some human existential angst left in me after all those years, and instead of jumping in a river I kissed him. A bridge between me and him, consisting of electricity, atoms and skin. And I had created it, or maybe he had after all, as attracting everything towards him, like gravity, was his nature.
I had felt him before, somewhere in time, when he had kissed my lips all of a sudden. Everyone had been there with us. The first moment my heart stopped, and my mind couldn't grasp his tenderness. I misread it as love. But it was a joke. He let me go, I laughed, the need to die on the spot stronger than anything, stronger even than the summer sun shining upon me. It wasn't strong enough anymore to keep me attached to the world.
He had kissed me once before, that time seeming like a mirror to the world of NOW, in which I felt his lips against mine, felt his gaze on me. I knew he wasn't surprised at all. I knew that he knew, and that he had known.
I grab his hands along the way and open my mouth, begging for entrance. It doesn't matter what happens after this. Nothing matters anymore. After this I'll be off the world forever, never to come back. I wish I could take him along.
He responds to my plea. I push him against the studio wall and imagine the cold of it reaching his back, covered only by a white shirt, the red V on it looking like a shotwound. He closes his eyes and returns my kiss.
The map of my world is made of every place I have ever been with him. It's been so long since we first met. Fate, without a doubt. There is no other possible reason for a half god like him to want to know me.
Sometimes one of them yelled 'group hug' and I was forced to force myself in the holy trinity. Where did I belong? Who did I belong to? Why couldn't I just close my eyes and love him, my arm around him? Why couldn't I ever say him how much I wished him luck in everything he would ever want to do? I couldn't even say 'well done' after a concert. Until NOW. As I wrap my arms around him and pull his body against mine, I can close my eyes. As I watch the black letters on his hand I can love him. I wonder if he knows he is saving my life right now. I want to tell him. But I believe I already have. I believe he hears my longing in every note and every word I have produced since I've known him. And I know I'm right.
'Jon,' he whispers.
I know he hears. If not then, definitely now.
'Don't die just to prove me something.'
He's heard it all. I kiss him again, freed from all boundaries. My heart is somewhere high, someplace unreachable. As high as my solos want to bring him.
'I want to make you fly.'
His mouth is smiling. 'Try.'
'I don't know how.'
'Try.'
***
27th of November, 2008 16.34
- 1
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