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Now You Wish You Meant Something To Somebody Else	By : clandestinecassie Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Panic! At The Disco Views: 1040 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own any member or Panic At The Disco, Fall Out Boy or any other real person nor do I know them, this most certainly never happened and I'm sure as hell not making money off of it

Chapter List
- 1-Now You Wish You Meant Something To Somebody Else
- 1
Ashlee knew from the first moment she ever spoke to him, she knew she would fall in love with Pete. And it was true; from the moment she got that first email from him asking her which Disney movie was her favorite. She told him The Jungle Book but that it was second to The Little Mermaid because no one could ever beat Ariel.

They kept talking and despite the fact that she was seeing someone already and Pete, he had a girlfriend too neither of them could deny that feeling. There was something there, this little crazy feeling that couldn’t be ignored.

The first time she met Pete face to face was an awards show, it had been rushed and just slightly awkward with publicists and flashbulbs swarming them. But he had shaken her hand and grinned, eyeliner rimmed honey brown eyes wrinkling in happiness and yeah, she was charmed. The second time they meet is after the emails, it’s planned and she’s at his house, in his kitchen, her shirt up and she’s flashing him. It’s not something she’d normally do but he has asked and grinned and god, she couldn’t help it.

The two of them start dating and Ashlee gets to meet some of Pete’s friends. It’s Travis and some of the guys from the band The Cab. It’s not his bandmates, not Andy, or Joe, or Patrick. And that’s okay because she get’s it, it’s almost like meeting the parents, you don’t just do that right away.

The two of them grow more serious and Ashlee gets to meet more of Pete’s friends. She’s not stupid and Pete’s not that great at hiding his motives so it doesn’t really take her a long time to figure out that meeting Pete’s friends is a privileged reserved only for the girls who make it that far. There’s a hierarchy of who she get’s to meet based on how much their relationship has grown.

It’s Travis and The Cab boys first, they’re the starters. Second level is Gabe and three fourths of the Panic At The Disco boys, Ashlee doesn’t know at the time which one is which, so she doesn’t know who is missing. The third level is surprisingly not the rest of Fall Out Boy, okay, well not all of them at least. It’s Andy and Joe and Ashlee is expecting to meet Patrick and okay, she isn’t going to lie she is a little nervous to meet him but Pete tells her that he’s not even in the same state as them and for some reason she’s a little disappointed.

Ashlee has googled Pete, yes, she has and okay, so maybe it was to see those infamous nudes and what she could expect but while finding those nudes she happened to stumble along the theory that Pete and Patrick were in love. She blew it off at first but really, her curiosity got the best of her and she began to read about it. She had to admit, some of those arguments had very good points.

Anyway, she’s thinking that this is the reason she’s so unsure of meeting Patrick because despite the internet chatter, Pete talks about Patrick like he’s nothing short of god, like he is Pete’s god and Ashlee doesn’t care who you are, that’s intimidating.

She does eventually get to meet Patrick and he’s actually not scary at all. He smiles at her and shakes her hand and Pete is grinning so wide that she thinks his face might crack in half, she hopes not because he has a very pretty face.

Patrick ends up talking to her about David Bowie and yes, he’s almost as amazing as Pete made him out to be. So, she met all the friends, she impressed ‘god’ that has to be a good thing right? But what Ashlee didn’t know all along was that there was one person she had yet to meet, someone who was as important to Pete as Patrick was, someone she hadn’t even considered all along, someone she didn’t even know existed up until Pete grabbed her hand and turned her around and there he was.

Ryan Ross.

The crowed dance floor of Angels And Kings seemed to chill a bit with Ryan’s blank stare. Ashlee smiles at the tall, tall lanky boy standing before her. Ryan returns her smile but it’s small, barely there and his eyes hold a look that Ashlee’s never seen on anyone before.

“Ry, this is Ash, Ash meet Ryan.” Ashlee looks at Pete whose looking at Ryan. He’s looking at Ryan like the incredibly thin boy is the greatest thing he’s ever seen and huh…maybe she’s been worrying about the wrong person this entire time.

Ryan’s soft brown eyes flicker over Pete’s face before they fall back on Ashlee’s.

“Nice to meet you,” He states, voice a perfectly smooth monotone. This kid, he’s younger than her but god, she’s instantly intimidated by him and his strong gaze. She feel’s like he’s thinking she’s just some flash in the pan for Pete, something temporary, like he knows something that she doesn’t.

“Likewise.” Ashlee is throwing out as much confidence as she can, her hand wrapped around Pete’s bicep. Ryan’s just staring with those blank eyes, it’s fucking unnerving. Pete is still smiling, doesn’t seem to notice the slight chill that emits from Ryan. Maybe she’s just being paranoid.

At this point Gabe, who’s the DJ for the evening decides to play one of Pete’s favorite songs and he tugs Ashlee on to the dance floor, holding her hand and her hip. At some point during the dance, Ashlee get’s lost in the crush of people, the bright lights, loud music. When the song finishes Ryan is no where to be found, like she even minds that but Pete is standing there, gaze searching the room.

“I’ll go get us drinks.” Pete offers his eyes not on her as he speaks. She nods but she doubts he notices. Really, she loves him but more often that not she struggles to understand him. Ashlee gets it all on certain levels but at the same time she knows that there’s a whole world to Pete Wentz that she doesn’t really know, right about now she’s not sure that she wants to.

Pete takes off and Patrick keeps Ashlee company, talking to her about David Bowie once again. When she and Patrick finally stop speaking it’s been five minutes and Pete hasn’t come back to her. She scans the room, Pete’s a friendly guy he probably just got caught up with one of his friends, reminiscing about past tours, Hemmingway, or whatever else crosses his pretty little mind.

Patrick seems to notice the sudden lack of Pete, notices the way Ashlee notices that he’s slipped away. He scratches at his neck and shrugs as if offering that as his answer, as if he even feels like he has to give her an answer. But then again, maybe she was the only one who was confused about what was going on.

Anyway, Ashlee slides away from Patrick, some mumbled excuse about having to use the bathroom at the very least she can find a quiet place to call Pete’s phone and find out just where the hell he had run off to.

The bathrooms are unisex, something Pete seemed thoroughly proud of. They’re huge and open, no door blocking anything out. Ashlee slips inside for just a moment when she hears voices reverberating from around the room.

“Why’d you bring her here again?” Ashlee’s only heard that voice once but once is more than enough, its monotone, it’s smooth like honey, and it’s Ryan. He doesn’t sound upset, he doesn’t sound like anything really hints of curiosity lacing his voice.

“I wanted you to meet her.” That’s Pete; she’d know that voice from anywhere. Dark eyes scan the black tiled room. Those same dark eyes widen significantly as she spots two pairs of legs crammed together in one stall. Bright purple sneakers, that’s definitely Pete, ugly ass brown dress pants, that has to be Ryan.

Normally, if it was anyone else, any other guy she’d bust in there and demand to know just what the hell was going on but it wasn’t normal, it was Pete and she reminded herself that his view of the world was slightly skewed. Besides, they were talking about her and Ashlee, she was just curious enough to stick around and listen.

“Why? Did you really think that was a good idea?” Ryan again, his voice is different now. It’s softer, warmer, more human.

“I wanted Ash, to meet the most important people to me.” Pete sounds like he’s grinning; Ashlee sees Ryan’s legs shift. Maybe she shouldn’t be here, listening to this conversation. She knows enough about Ryan and Pete. Knows that Pete basically plucked him from obscurity, brought him into this world singlehandedly, that he knew from the moment he had saw Ryan that he just had to have him in his life.

And that was just what Pete had told her.

“Are you jealous, Ryan Ross?” Pete’s definitely grinning now, she can practically see it on his face.

“You know I don’t get jealous.” Ryan retorts, a small bit of amusement playing at his voice.

“And you know that you’ll always be my favorite.” Pete whispers, low and god, it’s the same tone he uses when he wants to fuck. That voice makes her shiver in the middle of the black tiled bathroom. Now, now would be a good time to leave, to forget this ever happened and let Pete come back out and let her and his lives together continue on.

“Hmm, do you ever think our arrangement is a bad idea?” Ryan asks.

“No, I don’t. No one is getting hurt, everyone get’s what they want.” Pete replies.

“More like who they want.”

There’s a few beats of silence and Ashlee works to keep her breathing soft and inaudible. She doesn’t move, doesn’t think because she wants to hear this, to know this secret that everyone seems so in tuned to.

“And just who is it that you want, Pete?” Ryan is whispering back, his voice inducing instant shivers in Ashlee. She can hear Pete laugh; see his feet shift, scuffing rubber against tiled floor. It might be a legitimant question, one that has more levels than Ashlee can comprehend at the moment but she’s dying, fucking dying to know the answer, to hear what her boyfriend has to say.

“We already know that answer.” Pete’s legs move and suddenly, suddenly there’s the soft wet unmistakable sounds of kissing and the slight thump of someone going back against the locked stall door, Ryan probably considering the way Pete’s leg slides between Ryan’s.

Gay above the waist, that phrase floats to the forefront of Ashlee’s mind. She had asked Pete about all those gay rumors that constantly dogged him and that had been his reply. Of course she really hadn’t thought it was true but now, now it kind of made sense.

The wet noises intensify, hot and wet sounding like something straight out of a porn flick. Ashlee can imagine them in there, Pete with his hands wrapped around the back of Ryan’s pale neck, tugging him down to get at his mouth better. Ryan would probably be holding on to Pete’s hips, maybe his arm’s circled around the shorter boy’s waist. The soft wet noises fade away and it’s replaced by slight panting, noises and images pressing in on Ashlee from all sides.

“You got the prettiest face I’ve ever seen, Ryan.” Pete is whispering and ouch, that one hurt. Ryan he laughs, like he’s use to this, has heard it all before and he probably has.

“Mmhm, like you’ve never said that to the other boys.” Ryan muses and again Pete is laughing, striking something deep inside Ashlee but still, she can’t will herself to move. She likens it to watching a car accident or a scary movie, you want nothing more then to look away but at the same time you just can’t do it.

“But I only ever mean it when I say it to you.”

“Compliments will get you no where, Peter.” Ryan laughs, if Ashlee tries hard enough she can picture a sly grin plastered on this thin face.

“Really? Because I thought they got me everywhere when it came to you.”

It was banter, it was normal between the two of them and Ashlee, god, she felt like an idiot. Like everyone knew all along and she had been the only one left in the dark. A secret that was well known enough to not even be a secret at all.

“You want something from me tonight? When you got your girl with you?” Ryan questions, Ashlee watches as he rocks back and forth a bit before stepping forward and his legs are knocking against Pete’s.

“I could never deny that beautiful mouth.” Pete’s breathing lowly, words dripping seductively from his charming tongue and the red head girl’s heart rate picks up quickly. There’s a short laugh from Ryan, it has to be him. And the next thing Ashlee knows there’s a pair of impossibly long legs folding down to the cold tiled floor.

Ryan’s legs are too long to properly fit within the confines of the bathroom stall, his long legs stretched out sticking out from underneath the bathroom door. Ashlee can see the toes of Pete’s obnoxiously colored sneakers bumping against Ryan’s knobby knees as the all too familiar sound of a zipper going down fills the room.

Fuck, she shouldn’t even be here in this damn bathroom listening as he boyfriend, the guy she’s has feelings for, stronger than she’s ever felt before, she shouldn’t be listening as a guy gives him a blow job. But she can’t leave; if this is a part of Pete then she’s compelled to know it, to get the whole picture as opposed to an image with darkened corners.

The sounds start up again, wet and absolutely dirty. Pete releases a needy groan and Ashlee can definitely see him, can see him from the times she’s been in Ryan’s position on her knees for Pete. She vaguely wonders if Pete’s rougher with Ryan than he is with her he has a tendency to sink his hands into her hair and pull, just slightly but he always stops himself before he can get too bad. Now she wonders if the rougher stuff what Pete really wants is reserved for Ryan.

“God, you look so good down there.” Pete growls out, the sucking sounds intensify and Pete’s biting back a low groan. “You’re far too good at this, Ry.” God, the way he says the other boy’s name, it’s enough to make sharp points of jealousy press painfully behind her eyes but no, she isn’t going to cry, she can’t because this is Pete and this is what she wanted all along.

She wanted to know him.

Ryan is making these little noises as he sucks Pete off, he’s humming and groaning and of course he’s maintaining those slick sounds allowing them to bounce off the stony walls. Ashlee can see Pete’s legs moving and she knows that he’s thrusting into Ryan’s mouth and god; she’s willingly to bet anything that Ryan can take it all down.

It doesn’t take much longer for Pete to lose it. She can tell that he’s getting close. “God, fuck, Ryan you’re such a good boy, my good little boy.” Pete is moaning out, he sounds desperate now like he barely knows what he’s saying blinded by the forthcoming orgasm.

Ashlee hears it when Pete comes, she hears the guttural moan he releases and she has a feeling that Ryan’s willingly to do what she won’t, he swallows.

There’s silence and Ashlee’s sure that they can hear her heart beating so loud in her chest. But they don’t, there’s slight panting and the shuffling of Ryan standing back up, the sound of rustling fabric and Pete’s zipper going back up. There’s the wet sound of kissing and she thinks about, fuck, about how Pete tastes Ryan and his own taste lacing Ryan’s tongue.

“Want to let me take care of you, Ry?” Pete mumbles and Ryan makes a small noise deep in his throat. “Yeah,” He replies back to the love of Ashlee’s life. And suddenly there’s the sound of another zipper going down but Pete’s not dropping to his knees.

And Ashlee, she can’t-it’s too much-it’s more than she wants to know now. She easily slides away from the bathroom and the noises of Ryan getting off to her boyfriend.

The girl almost feels dazed as she returns to the party. Gabe’s still DJing, Patrick is near the bar with Andy and Joe and she can feel the singers gaze locking on her. She tries her best to control her facial expression, to clear her mind and make nothing of what she saw obvious to anyone. But Patrick, he knows Pete more than Ashlee does and she does not put it past him to already know exactly where Pete is right this moment and whose he’s with.

The rest of Ryan’s band is scattered around the party, Brendon is running around everywhere and the other two, Spencer and Jon they’re chatting but Spencer keeps looking up and scanning the room he catches her gaze at one point before he promptly looks away.

She’s pretty much back to her theory that everyone knows just what Pete and Ryan do together.

Ashlee orders herself the drink that Pete was supposed to get for her nearly fifteen minutes ago. She stands off by herself and drinks it, tries not to actively be searching for Pete, for Ryan, she tries not to think about whether or not they’ll come out of the bathroom together or separate.

At some point when she was actively not looking for them Pete must’ve slipped out because the next thing she knows he’s standing next to her grinning, his warm eyes doing that crinkling thing she loves so much.

“Hey, babe, sorry,” He starts, his hand finding her bare arm and Ashlee just prays that he washed his hands before he came out here. “I got distracted by a couple people.” He explains away his absence and she really, really wishes she could believe that. She wishes she could erase the mental image of Ryan on his knees in the bathroom stall, of obnoxiously colored sneakers bumping the other boy’s knees.

Pete leans in to kiss her and Ashlee considers letting it happen but she just…she can’t and she turns her head at the very last moment so that Pete’s lips hit her cheek, staining her skin with Ryan. Pete gives her a funny look and Ashlee shrugs a bit. “Don’t want to get lipgloss on you.” She too can explain away her actions. Pete just nods and smiles though it’s not as wide as before.

The night attempts to go back to the way it was before the bathroom incident, Pete takes Ashlee around to meet more people, giving her more and more pieces as to how he is and what makes him up. But no matter how many pieces he’s giving her it will never be all of them, not the piece that she sought out for herself. At one point Ryan is back with his band mates, Brendon hanging off of Ryan’s lithe body and the tall thin boy looks up and locks eyes with Ashlee and he smiles, smiles like he knows that she knows what he and Pete had done tonight. But there’s really no way for Ryan to know she was there, she figures it was just him being a cocky bitch.

After the party Pete and Ashlee wind up back at his place, Hemmingway snuffling around there feet and Pete feeds him before he takes Ashlee’s hand and leads her towards the stairs, to his bedroom. He’s got that commonplace seductive grin plastered all across his tanned face.

He kisses her once he gets her in his room and he must’ve slipped away at some point and brushed his teeth because he doesn’t taste like lithe snarky guitarist but minty toothpaste. He wants to have sex but she’s not sure, she knows that she shouldn’t not after what she saw him doing. That the last thing she should do tonight is sleep with him and that she should probably confess that she saw the two of them in the bathroom and that they should probably talk about it.

But now stupid fucking Ryan Ross has made her relationship into a competition and she has to one up him, make Pete see that she can do everything Ryan can. Ashlee drops gracefully on to her knees for Pete sees him the same way Ryan did a little over two hours ago. Pete just lets her do it, doesn’t stop her and she wonders if he’s thinking about the boy, big brown eyes long slender fingers wrapped around Pete’s thighs.

He slides fingers in her hair and he closes his eyes, there are no compliments about her mouth or how beautiful she looks. Fucking Ryan Ross and his cocky smile. Ashlee is right where Ryan was and in some sick way it feels like she’s the one who’s in the wrong, like she’s the mistress and the cheater and not the other way around.

Once they finish they’re in his bed and it’s dark but Pete’s not even pretending to be asleep his insomnia kicking in full force. Ashlee is laying there but she can’t sleep either. She should probably talk to Pete about everything. She should. But she doesn’t.

Ashlee does bring it up two days later when she and Pete are in her kitchen, sitting together on the little stools at her island.

“So, Ryan Ross?” She starts, and Pete looks up sort of blankly.

“What about him?” Pete asks simply.

“You…you care about him?”

Pete blinks at her, “Sure I do. He’s Ryan, he’s a genius.”

“You love him, Pete.” She’s not sure whether it’s supposed to sound like a question or a statement but it falls somewhere inbetween and Pete blinks at her again. His fingers tap against the oak island nervously and she knows that he knows that she’s figured it all out.

“Did someone run their mouth? Who told you?” Pete presses, but his voice isn’t anything less than blank, pulling off that smooth monotone of the boy in question.

“No one. I-I saw you Pete…at the party the other night…in the bathroom.”

Pete looks like he might puke but he swallows and lifts guilt soaked eyes to meet her face.

“I’m sorry, I-“

“Do you love me?” Ashlee asks, voice stern and cutting despite her feelings for him.

“I do, I really do Ash.”

“Then why?-“

“I can’t stop. I can’t because I need him in my life. I love you Ash, I do but Ryan he’s-“

“I get it Pete.” She does, Pete is Pete and no one can change that. Ashlee doesn’t want to put him in a position to choose between Ryan and herself, she wants to say that it’s because she knows that he needs Ryan but deep down she knows that it’s because she’s afraid that she won’t be the one who gets picked.

“You do?”

She nods and she feels Pete’s hands cupping her cheeks. Ashlee lifts her head and stares at him.

“I want to say that I’ll stop…god, I want to promise it to you but I know-I know that I can’t and I’m so damn sorry for that…” Pete’s sounds so pitiful and so damn desperate that Ashlee can’t stay mad at him, can’t hate him. She quiets him down with a soft kiss.

“It’s alright Pete, I know you can’t stop but I love you and…I still want to be with you.”

They keep dating, Pete and Ashlee. They keep dating and Pete keeps seeing Ryan. Whenever they’re in the same town Pete will say he’s going to hang out with the boys and Ashlee will just know that he’s going to see Ryan. He’ll come back happier than she’s seen in a long time and he’ll smell just like the young lyricist.

But Ashlee will always take him back in. One occasion Patrick is over when Ryan texts Pete and Patrick looks at her, really looks at her like he’s asking why she puts up with it and Ashlee will just shrug weakly speaking to him with her body language, she’ll tell him, for the same reasons you do.

Pete and Ashlee still have sex and Pete and Ryan still have sex. Ashlee still has to see Ryan on occasions and he’s just as cool and smooth and as pure snark as he’s ever been.

Ashlee kind of thinks that things will change once she finds out she’s pregnant but they don’t. Pete seems even more attached to Ryan despite his excitement at having a baby. She expects things to change when they get married but again they don’t. For one moment she believes that Ryan will be the best man except for how she forgets that Patrick will always trump Ryan and the singer ends up with the job.

Ryan is there though, watching from the front row along with a multitude of other people who know the truth about Pete and Ryan. Ashlee feels beautiful, like a princess but at the same time a hollow shame fills her as she tries to read her guests thoughts.

Ashlee feels guilty because Pete doesn’t sleep with her as she steadily grows bigger, they do other things but no actual penis in pussy sex and it drives her crazy because Pete’s alright with it and Pete’s alright with it because he’s fucking Ryan more than ever now.

Once the baby comes Pete doesn’t see Ryan for a few weeks, texts and emails sure but they don’t see each other and Ashlee can believe that things are how they should be, should’ve been all along. Ryan returns though and he gets to meet Bronx and Ashlee feels a sense of pride, because he is her’s and he is Pete’s and it’s a slice of her life that Ryan can never get a piece of.

Bronx though seems to love Ryan and doesn’t cry when the boy holds him. And Ashlee sighs.

Tonight is one of those nights that Ryan is over and he and Pete are playing with Bronx downstairs while Ashlee claims she’s ‘getting some rest’ upstairs. She stares at her wedding ring and can hear Pete’s laughter floating up the stairs. She turns her ring around on her finger and feels like it doesn’t even matter if she’s really here, she’s Pete’s wife but she might as well be his mistress.
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Now You Wish You Meant Something To Somebody Else