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Haggard Strip Tease	By : bloodhill Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 1885 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of complete fiction, none of this ever happened and no profit was made. I don't know or own any of themembers of HIM, Ville Valo, or Bam Margera. I know NO ONE. no profit made.

Chapter List
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A vam story by Cass and I. ^^

Chapter.1 Never Wanted to Dance, With Nobody, Not You

“Ville come on! You want to go here of all fucking places? Let’s just go to that club Cheetah that’s in Jersey, it isn’t that far!” the dark haired Finnish keyboardist whined at his close friend and fellow band’s front man.

The long haired rock star of the Finnish band H.I.M. Ville Valo was silent, ignoring Burton’s protests as they with the rest of their fellow band mates, Gas, Linde, and Mige followed them entering the doors of the strip club. The five musicians’ eyes looked shocked as they took in the sights of the famous ‘Haggard Striptease’. Ville smiled coolie as the female hostess standing at the main desk at the entrance lobby smiled at them welcomingly. She was dressed in a tuxedo styled halter top connected to the black dress slack shorts she had on, matching the lace black garter stockings shaping her legs, finishing off with black heels. The blonde hostess smiled as Linde winked flirtingly at her, as his friends rolled their eyes.

“Hello gentlemen, welcome to club ‘Haggard Striptease’ the greatest strip club and bar you’ll find in Philadelphia. We’re the best, servicing gentlemen like you with the best of the best drinks and exotic dancers of both sexes. “The blonde hostess explained continuing to smile warmly despite the eye candy looks the men behind Ville were giving her.

“Thank you darling. A friend of ours Johnny Knoxville gave us the address to this fine establishment. I’m not sure if he called ahead to le-” Ville began explaining until the hostess cut him off with a giggle.

“Oh Johnny you say? Why yes, he called our manager and boss Mr. Hawk ahead of time informing us about you. You must be Mr. Valo, the lead singer of that very popular Finnish rock band. Please follow me gentlemen, I’ll make sure you get the best table up front at the main trio stage we have.” Ville took in the sights of the strip club looking clearly impressed with his friends as he saw how packed the place was. Neon lights shined everywhere in the Las Vegas classy design of the entire place. Female and male servers were walking around taking and delivering orders. Burton smirked as a female waitress walked by and giggled to her coworker as he said hello in his Finnish accent. Linde and Gas looked quietly impressed as they were seated.

As for Mige…he tried making eyes with a dark haired female, dressed in a leather mini-skirt, with a black corset bust, and a pair of black high heel pumps. She was nearby them, serving drinks to a table of a small male bachelor party. Ville noticed the woman looked to be in her possible late twenties or early thirties as he stared at the silvery necklace that held a ‘Zoid’ pendant on it as she took the party of the soon to be groom and his friends hundred dollar bill tips, and her eyes fell on Mige.

“Excuse me Miss, do you think you could help me with something? You see, I dropped my wallet and…I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind bending over properly to pick it up for me”, Mige asked while nudging Ville and Burton as he eyed her suggestively.

“I think not. If you think you’re the first asshole with a European accent who’s tried using that shitty line to get me to bend over so you could look at and try grabbing my ass, you’re wrong. Excuse me.” The supposed waitress said in a cold voice as she eyed Mige like he was scum of the earth.

“Nice one Mige. We just barely get in here and already you’re trying to piss off one of the ladies.” Gas said shaking his head as Linde nodded in agreement.

“Thanks a lot Mizee…I was going to ask her if she wouldn’t have minded making us some shots of Jager.” Ville grumbled falling into a sour mood.

--+-+--

Bam looked up at Missy, she was putting the finishing touches on her makeup, looking every bit like a 1998 Britney Spears, school girl outfit and all. Her hair was up in pigtails and her makeup was soft and tasteful, it was a shame nothing else was. “How does it feel to be bumped down to second stage?” He stuck his tongue out, straitening his tie around his neck, smoothing it down shirtless torso.

Missy glared at him for that, not liking that she had been bumped in the first place, but she had come to accept that the crowd was more interested in Bam than her. “Wonderful,” she smirked, throwing her makeup back into its bag. “Now, I don’t have to worry about guys groping me as much.”

Bam just smiled at that, zipping up the zipper on his tight black pants. “You had your chance to see how you could do on first stage, you blew it, get over it.” He was having far too much fun at Missy’s expense.

Before Missy could reply, DiCo stuck his head in the door. “Mis, time to go on,” he turned to Bam. “You’re on in ten, Bam.” He started pulling the door shut, before sticking his head in one more time. “Missy, you need to control your bitch, she’s giving the evil eye to some high paying customers.” His laugh was heard as he barely missed the brush thrown his way.

Bam snickered, knowing too well what DiCo was talking about, Lynz had chased off many a customers in her time bartending. “Like you could control her,” Bam smirked.

Missy turned her glare on him. “I don’t need to control her,” she crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m sure she did nothing wrong…they probably deserved what they got.”

“Sure,” Bam smirked, not wanting to argue with Missy, she could watch Lynz kill a man, right in front of her eyes, and still would say the guy had just tripped and died.

“And here comes Naughty Student Missy,” a very board tone spoke over the intercom, signaling for Missy, who should of already been well on her way to the second stage.

“Shit,” she cursed before tightening her pigtails and running out of the room.

Bam just smirked before closing his eyes, mentally preparing himself for another night of stripping for strangers.

--+-+--

Ville didn’t even bother to look up when the voice called over the speakers, another female to add to the masses. He had seen enough of that. He was just glad the bartender had taken mercy on him and agreed to serve them beverages.

“Shit,” Mige mumbled, Burton voicing his agreement. “If that’s what second stage is like, I wonder who’s going to be on first…”

Ville looked up at that, deciding to see what had his friends so eager. He frowned, it was a pretty average girl by his standards, he’d had better. The sound of clinking glasses brought his attention away from the stage, he looked over as the bartender neared their table. A tray full of beer, jagermeister and cola bottles were perfectly balanced, as she weaved her way past waiters, waitresses and other customers. “Thank you, sweetheart,” Ville smiled happy to have some type of alcohol in front of him, any type at all.

“Hey,” Mige called, signaling to the bartender. “Who’s this girl?” He asked once she looked over at him.

Lynz glanced to the stage, before sighing, “Didn’t you listen? It’s ‘Naughty Student Missy’,” she mocked, despising the name.

Mige smiled at Ville, raising his eyebrows up and down. “So are you friends, with this Naughty Missy…close friend who could get a certain rock-star her phone number?” He asked, a grin on his face.
Lynz slammed his Cola bottle down in front of him, a glare on her face. “You so much as look at her wrong and I’ll tear your balls off and jam them down your throat, got it?”

Mige nodded, not trusting his voice.

With a smile, Lynz patted his arm. “Good boy, need anything else, just call.” She smiled at Ville before leaving the table.

“Holly shit,” Gas laughed, Ville’s chuckles joining him.

“There’s something wrong with her,” Mige told them, his voice low so she couldn’t hear.

Ville was about to speak up when the intercom turned on again, the same voice ringing out.
“Turn your attention to center stage, here come’s…School Boy Brandon…” His voice held no source of excitement, yet most of the crowd seemed to perk up tenfold at name.

With good reason, as soon as the name was uttered, a blue eyed, brown haired, man came walking out, a smirk on his pouty lips. He had on a black and red tie, covering a naked torso, tight black pants and silver bangles on his right wrist. He walked across the stage, smirking out at the crowd, before circling the lone pole, swinging his leg around it before swinging, letting his body fly through the air.

“Damn…” Ville muttered, knowing right then and there, that he was going to have that boy; he just knew it.

As the lead singer of HIM kept his green eyes staring at the school boy making moves on the pole, two of his companions were busy eying the school girl at the second stage on the right side. Missy was moving to the music of New Edition’s ‘Candy Girl’ as it played loudly on the speakers while the lights were shining in techno themed colors brightly. She let her outer shirt of the uniform unbutton slowly, while doing a half back bend as the gentlemen gathered around her stage cheered.

Her eyes wandered looking at the different men throwing dollar bills at her feet and then watching Bam doing his usual routine. She took notice of the long haired man who looked European to her, that was saying something she couldn’t hear because of the music to her fellow dancer. ‘Casanova is trying to make a date or a one night proposition at Bam, and he’ll get rejected. Another one bites the dust.’ Missy thought to herself amuse as she noticed Lyn-z, the bartender making her rounds waving a hello at her that made her smile, just as she climbed the pole, making a tight turned drop split on it to the floor. Missy was about to accept two twenties from a college student who was on her left, until she noticed Mige and Burton grinning widely at her with horn dog looks in their eyes.

While Lyn-Z was making her rounds, she noticed the two Finns trying to make an unknown conversation to the school girl brunette on the corner stage. Frowning as she noticed one of the guy’s folded a dollar bill into Missy’s g-string after she slipped off her mini-skirt, the guy waved another dollar bill in her face saying something to her as the school girl gave him a dark stare and turned her back to the men dancing elsewhere on her stage. Silently, the black haired woman knew it wasn’t good and walked over motioning for the club bouncers and security over to the corner of the bar. “Hey Bran, Jared come here. See those two Finns? They are with Valo’s group in his band. Can you keep an eye on those two for me please? I don’t like how they are making Missy somewhat uncomfortable. I’d really appreciate it." Lyn-z explained pointing to the stage on the left side of the club.

DiCo nodded, making his way towards the small table near the center stage. He motioned for Jared to stay back, but keep a close eye on them. “Mr. Valo,” DiCo smiled, not liking having to use the word mister, if it wasn’t for the good pay and unlimited Mortal Combat game time in the break room, he’d of left the job ages ago.

Ville looked over from Bam, his attention still on the dancer. He vaguely noted the shirt across the man’s shirt, reading, ‘Security’, but still, his attention couldn’t be wavered from Bam. “Yes?” He asked, his eyes moving from the security to Bam.

DiCo sighed, he hated this part of the job; he just didn’t understand why people couldn’t read the signs hung everywhere that read ‘Don’t Touch The Dancers’. “We need to talk about your friends,” he told him, finally getting Ville’s full attention.

“What about them?” Ville asked, hoping they weren’t about to get kicked out of the club.

“It has been brought to my attention that your friends are making some of the dancers feel uncomfortable,” he glanced at Missy. “I’m afraid I have to ask you to tell them to tone it down a bit.” Just as he spoke the words, Burton and Mige came walking back over, their pockets greatly lighter than when they’d first approached the second stage.

“What’s this?” Mige asked, taking his seat next to Ville.

“You two wanker’s are about to get us thrown out,” Linde told him, his attention on DiCo.

DiCo smiled at the two men taking their seats. “I was just saying that you’re making Naughty Student Missy feel a little uncomfortable with your hollers and attempted gropes, we would like it if you two would stop.” He paused, before adding. “I understand if you have some complaints, please, if you feel the need to, bring it up with our ‘customer consultant’,” he motioned towards Jared who was standing a few feet from them.
Jared smiled and waved, before cracking his knuckles as innocently as possible.

Ville smiled at DiCo, “We’re fine, I’ll make sure nothing else happens.”
DiCo nodded, about to walk off, when Ville shot his hand out. “What…what about him?” Ville motioned to the still dancing Bam. “Does…he like to be touched?” Everyone at the table started snickering, even DiCo cracked a smile.

With a shake of his head, DiCo answered, “Yeah, he does, just not by customers.” He wished them a good night before walking back off towards the entrance, nodding to Lynz on his way.

Lynz nodded at DiCo, setting a new round of Jager and beer on Ville’s table. She turned to Mige and Burton, a smile on her face. “I told you not to fuck with, Missy, next time it won’t be DiCo or Jared coming over here.” She promised before wishing Ville, Linde and Gas a nice night, and walking back towards the bar.

Mige looked after her, waiting for her to be out of ear shot. “I told you she was fucking, mad,” he whispered to the table.

----

Ville made his way towards the bar, after Bam had left the stage, he had come out of the back rooms, fully clothed in the uniform he had originally went on stage in. Even though the bouncer had told Bam wasn’t interested in customers, that wasn’t going to stop Ville, he was sure he could at least charm a number out of the dancer. With a small smile towards the dark haired bartender, Ville leaned against the polished wood of the bar, his eyes roaming across the crowd. After a minute of fayed-aloofness, Ville turned towards the dancer, a smirk on his lips. “Brandon, right?” He asked, shortening the stage name of ‘School Boy Brandon’.

Bam rolled his eyes, swearing up and down that he’d kill Tony for the name’s he attached to their outfits. “Bam,” he told him, keeping his eyes glued to his drink.

“Excuse me?”

“Bam,” he repeated. “My name’s Bam, don’t call me Brandon, or anything else.

Ville chuckled at that, raising an eyebrow. “Bam? How odd, you’d think that’d be a stage name, not Brandon.”

With a glare, Bam turned towards the prick who had interrupted his alone time. “Listen-” He stopped mid sentence, his words stuck in his throat. His eyes took in thin hips, pale skin, green eyes and lushes lips, all around, a beautiful creature, someone you didn’t usually see in a place like ‘Haggard Striptease’.

Ville raised his eyebrow again, a amused smirk still on his lips. “I’m listening,” he teased, when Bam just stared at him, his mouth agape.

“Don’t,” Bam started, before swallowing, his mouth suddenly quite dry. “Don’t ever call me, Brandon, it’s…boring,” he finished, adverting his eyes from the sight in front of him.

Ville smiled, finding that he agreed with Bam, Brandon was far too boring of a name for someone like Bam. “Alright, Bam,” he placed his drink down on the bar, turning so his lips were inches from Bam’s ear. “How much would it cost for a private dance?” He asked, making sure his warm breath ghosted over the shell of Bam’s ear.

Bam stiffened at that, feeling the attraction he had, had for the man seep away. Like a slap to the face, Bam was reminded where he was, and what he was there to do. What, that man wanted from him. With a smirk of his own, he turned towards the other. “Sure, it’s five hundred up front, not including tips,” he smile was tight.

Ville pulled back, not believing that Bam had agreed to that, he figured the other would of blushed, maybe even glared, before Ville would of whispered something along the lines of ‘just a drink instead’. But he wasn’t going to argue a lap dance, maybe he could get Bam to join for that drink afterwards. “Okay,” he reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet, before handing the five bills over.

Bam smiled, pocketing the bills. “Where’re you sitting?” When Ville pointed to his table, Bam promised him he’d be there in a minute, he just had to go tell his boss.

Ville walked back to his seat, a triumphant smile on his face.

Mige raised an eyebrow at him, “What? Did you get his number?” He grumbled, still a little sour that his plans for the night were ruined.

Ville smirked, taking his seat and finishing off his drink. “Better, he’s going to give me a lap dance.”

Before anyone could say anything else, Missy came walking over, her school girl outfit back on, and a black blindfold in her hands. “Ville?” She asked, looking pointedly at the tall Finn.
He raised his hand, confirming, that he was indeed, Ville.
“Here,” she smiled walking closer to him. “Bam suggested that you wear a blindfold, it’s something customers like to do at times, it makes everything…like more intense. Do you want it on?” She asked, holding the silky fabric up.

He shrugged, if that would make Bam comfortable, he didn’t care. “Why not,” he smiled.

She smiled at him before walking around, slipping the fabric over his eyes. “He’ll be right out,” she told him, slipping away to help the waiters and waitresses with drink orders.

Ville licked his lips, feeling his stomach flutter with anticipation. He couldn’t wait to feel Bam’s body ghost over his own, the feel of Bam’s hands against his skin, the teasing of pants and soft words. He was getting hard just thinking about it all. All of the sudden, the music tempo changed, going from slow and sensual, to a fast paced beat.

“Alright, ladies and gentleman,” the board tone of the announcer rang through the club. “We’re having a lap dance today, for a very high paying customer. So you know what that means. Party Boy,” his voice should of changed, should of went higher, with a false tone of excitement, but that just wouldn’t of been Ryan Dunn’s style.

Ville, frowned at the name, before remembering that the dancer’s changed names with outfits in the club, so he pushed the thought to the side. He felt a body shift near him, before legs came over his own, thighs touching thighs. Immediately, Ville’s hands went to the others hips, his finger tips brushing over the fabric of what felt like a thong of some sort. The material close to that of a Speedo’s. He smirked at that, very tempted to just lose the blindfold, so he could see Bam in a thong again. But patience was something he had mastered long ago, making it possible for him to keep his eyes tightly shut, his hands moving ever so slightly further up Bam’s hips, touching his hip bones before moving back to his sides; keeping a firm grasp.
Bam didn’t speak, he barely even panted or moaned, all he did was place his hands on Ville’s shoulders before moving his body, brushing his crotch against Ville’s chest, before grinding down against Ville’s rapidly hardening length. It was a constant thing, he would move up, practically hump his chest, before moving back down, letting their hard pricks touch through layers of clothes.
Soon, Ville was moaning, biting his lip in attempt to keep the sounds from leaving his mouth. He was starting to realize why Bam had his clients put blind folds on, it wasn’t for the dancers benefit, but for his, for his and every other man or woman, Bam danced for. There was something very erotic about not being able to see Bam, just feeling his body, moving above and around his own. He could imagine Bam biting his lip, his eyelids covering bright blue eyes, while sweat dripped down his face, and chest. Those thoughts led to others, thoughts of Bam in bed, moaning under him, or above him, riding his thick length, moaning in ecstasy. With a groan, Ville bit his lip, drawling blood; he couldn’t take it any longer, he had to see what Bam looked like dancing against him.
Quickly, he removed the blindfold, a giant smile on his face, only to have it turn to a frown when his eyes landed on the person grinding above him. “What the fuck??” He practically screeched, pushing the man away from him.

“Hey, sugar,” Party Boy aka Chris Pontius grinned, winking at Ville’s flushed face. “You wanna go party with Party Boy?” He asked, using one of the most cheesiest lines ever.

Ville didn’t know what to say, his face was heated, he was sure of it. He wasn’t angry exactly, more like shocked and a bit embarrassed. Before he could speak, a bright light when off, the sound of a clicking camera. He turned, next to him was a man with slightly long hair, droopy eyes and easy going smile.

“That’s one for the wall of fame,” he grinned, before walking away.

“Hey, Life-partner!” Bam called, making the camera man turn to look at him. “Give that to Lynz, she can add it to the bar’s wall,” he grinned, getting a ‘will do’ from Novak.

Ville glared at Bam, Bam was leaning against the bar again, a drink back in his hands. With a frown, Ville stood from his spot, ignoring the snickering of some of the waiters and waitresses. “That wasn’t very nice, Bammie,” Ville told him, a smirk back on his lips. He didn’t like being pranked, especially by sexy little jackasses.

Bam grinned, tipping his drink in a mock toast before downing the amber colored liquid. Bam wasn’t dressed in his tight pants and tie anymore, instead, he was in normal clothing. A ‘Adio’ shirt and a pair of loose fitting jeans. “Never said I was nice,” he smiled, before pushing away from the bar. “Plus, my shift’s been over for a while. I was under no obligation to deliver that dance,” he shrugged. “Chris is a much better dancer, anyway, believe me, you got more from that, than you would of with me.”

Ville watched as Bam shrugged and turned to walk away, he shot out his hand, gripping Bam’s wrist, bringing him to a stop. “Wait,” he whispered. “How about your number?” He didn’t usually go about things so bluntly, but the subtle approach wasn’t working with Bam.

Bam smiled, shrugging Ville’s touch off. “Sorry,” he told him, backing away with his hands behind his head. “But I don’t fuck customers, thanks for the five hundo, though. I’ll put it to good use,” he grinned a shit-eating grin before turning and moving into the crowd.

Ville groaned, turning towards the bartender. She was watching the whole scene play out, but quickly looked down when Ville’s eyes landed on her. “How much will it cost for his number?” He asked.

Lynz looked up, surprised that Ville would ask that. “Sorry,” she told him. “But it would cost me my job if I gave out a dancers numbers, rules and all.”

Ville sighed, knowing it was a lost cause. He was about to go back to his table, grab his friends and go, when his face caught his attention. Sure enough, there was the picture, taken only minutes before, hanging on the wall. His surprised, wide eyed stare looking down on whoever bothered to look up. “Fine, the least you could do is give me the fuckin’ picture,” he held his hand out.

Lynz looked behind herself, glanced the picture over before turning back to Ville with a grin. “Sorry, I like it, adds a bit of class to the joint, doncha think?”

Ville glared at her, not amused by her banter. “Oh, sure, completely pulls away from the cum stained carpet and faded wallpaper,” he told her, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Her grin widened at that. “I’ll have you know, we don’t allow anyone to cum on the carpets here,” she told him in a hoity-toity voice, her nose in the air. “And we quite like the faded wall paper.” She found Ville amusing, a change of wind from the usual customers.

Ville sighed, dropping his chin to his chest before looking back up at her. “Look, tell me how much you want for the fucking picture, and I’ll get out of your hair,” he wanted to go back to his hotel. Have a drink, alone, and maybe order some pay-per-view porn.

Lynz seemed to think about it, holding her finger to her chin before shaking her head. “Sorry, I’ve already found a place for it in my heart, it’s priceless,” she smiled.

Ville was about to tell her she could shove that excuse up her ass, before Missy cleared her throat next to him. “We could always bring DiCo and Jared over here, you remember how to file a complaint, right?” She smiled sweetly.

Ville glared at her before shaking his head. “Whatever,” he mumbled before turning and leaving the bar. “Let’s go,” he told his band mates, feeling very annoyed with the whole situation.

Mige and Linde exchanged looks before nodding and following Ville out of the club. “So, I take it you didn’t get the strippers number,” Mige chanced, getting a glare from Ville.

“No,” Ville said, lighting up a cigarette. “But I’ll be back tomorrow, I’m sure I can get him to change his mind.” He smirked at his friends before taking a deep drag from his cancer stick. Maybe the pay-per-view would have some porn with a spunky, punk-ass kid, with big blue eyes and brown curly hair.
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Haggard Strip Tease