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The Moon	By : theProphet Category: Dir en grey > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1373 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I don't know Dir en grey and make no money from this.

Chapter List
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“Nishimura Tooru.”
There is a slight pause and he continues, naming the last several names, but I can’t hear anything anymore. It’s as if somebody put a gun to my each ear and fired, deafening me in an instant and leaving a loud noise instead. It’s as if a crowd of millions of people has climbed into my ear and started buzzing.
I couldn’t hear a thing except for this noise in my ears.
And suddenly the shapes in front of my eyes lost their contours and blurred.
I extended my hand and tried to grab a hold of something, because I knew there was a chance of me falling down if I wouldn’t grab something right now. And thankfully I was standing right at the table, so I grabbed its edge and leaned on it.
For a moment all was a total chaos – noise in my ears, blurry ghostly shadows in front of my eyes and weakness in my legs.
But after a few more seconds it drew back and I could see and hear again. I took a deep, shuddering breath.
The rest of the band was starring at me eyes wide and scared.
“M-maybe it’s some other Nishimura Tooru” Toshiya stutters disturbing the deadly silence. “There might be more than one guy with such a name.”
Die nods along, seeming to agree, but Shinya and Kaoru seem to be less positive. They just look skeptically at Toshiya, but keep silent.
My cell rings and all of us jump in surprise. Toshiya’s eyes grow big and he stares at my cell as if it was a devil himself. The others suddenly also get the same scared look on their faces and cautiously glance at me.
I can only extend my shaky hand and pick up the phone.
“H-helo?”
“Is this Nishimura Tooru?” I hear a man’s voice, loud and very sharp. And cold.
“Yes.”
“This is the emperor’s secretary. I am delighted to inform you that you have been chosen to be one of the members of The Moon Crew and are leaving the Earth in exactly two months.”
My throat feels so dry that I can’t even mumble any sound to show I heard him. But I have to at least try.
“I’ve heard of it just now on the news…”
I feel a knot at my throat and try to force it down at least for the time that I will be talking on the phone.
“Very well. You will be picked up in thirty minutes from the studio you are currently in. The usual procedure is this: we pick you up in half an hour, you undergo the basic training and acquire the basic knowledge in two months during which you cannot have any contact with the outside world and then you are presented with 24 hours of free time to pack a few essential items and say your goodbyes. Is everything clear?”
“Y-yes” I almost let out a sob, but somehow manage to answer. I feel sick. My legs are weak again and my hands are trembling badly. I suddenly have an urge to throw up and it’s only getting stronger every second.
I wish this was just a nightmare. A sick cruel nightmare.
“Very well. I will be seeing you in thirty minutes. Stay where you are to wait for us. Goodbye.”
The connection ends without any other unnecessary words and I can no longer hold my cell in my hand. It slips through my clumsy fingers and drops on the ground, not breaking though.
My band mates - my friends - are looking at me, starring at me with huge eyes full of fear and disbelieve.
“They are c-coming to take me in… in thirty minutes.”
I say this so helplessly that it almost sounds as if I’m pleading them to save me, to do something – anything – to get me out of this, to spare me from this.
But I know this is final. There is no man or woman in the whole Japan influential enough to help me avoid this fate. It is the ultimate decision.
I look him in the eyes now. The man I’ve always looked up to, fancied, admired.
Now I don’t even have a chance with him. I don’t have time anymore to try and win him over. To try and make him have a crush on me if not fall in love with me.
All is lost for good.
He – my beloved wonderful man. My career as a singer in the band I love so much. My family. My friends. My everyday life – so well known and underestimated most of the time. My future. And most probable even… my life…
I will die there as all others died. I highly doubt I’ll be one of that lucky 2% who do come back home. 98% of them never come back. Not even dead. Their bodies are usually lost out there and they don’t even care enough to bring a sac full of bones for the family to mourn over.
Suddenly I remember all the horrible stories I’ve heard of what happens there. Most of them are just rumors as almost nobody comes back alive from there, and those who do – they come back either insane or completely detached from the real world. And if they do comprehend their surroundings, they never say a word to public. They are either too scared to speak, or made not to speak, or simply don’t want to.
Any of these reasons isn’t appealing enough.
Why am I going to be one of those poor souls, lost for some unknown mysterious reason that I don’t give a shit about?
Why can’t it be somebody else? Why is it me? Why?
“Kyo?”
I hear a voice so distant from me that at first I don’t even register that somebody spoke to me. But then I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn to look at whoever it is.
It’s Toshiya.
He looks as if he’s barely able to hold back all the emotions he has. But I still see that what has just happened to me for some reason touched him so much as well.
“Kyo, it’s going to be OK… You’ll be fine, you’ll see…”
Totchi, liar. You don’t even believe yourself in what you’re saying to me. But I appreciate your attempts. Even if they are useless to me.
I don’t have anything to say.
All I want is for this to be a dream – a nightmare from which I would wake up and see that I have to go to the studio and work, have another boring day just like always and that my life is still the same.
But this is not going to happen. And I am completely powerless to change it.
My cell rings again and I look down. It’s my mother calling.
I can’t force myself to talk to her. I will break down if I do. I have to be strong right now. And maybe they will inform my parents themselves. I’ve heard that they don’t leave this completely anonymous – they always make the family pretend that they are proud of the honor their child has received from the emperor himself.
The phone keeps ringing, but I just stare down at it. Nobody says a word about it either, nobody tells me to answer.
Maybe if I ran right now and found a good place to hide, maybe then my life would be saved? Even if I had to live in hiding for the rest of my life, at least I’d be living. But… I’ve heard rumors of how they punish the ones who disobey. Their families tend to disappear mysteriously or die in horrible accidents.
So my legs just don’t move. I stay frozen as I was, starring at the phone on the ground until it stops ringing.
I want to look at him once more before I’ll have to leave, but I can’t even lift my eyes. Maybe this will be the last time I see him. Maybe this was the last day we all made music, recorded our new single. Maybe this was the last day I sang. Maybe this was my last pleasant and completely uneventful, but happy day on Earth.
And maybe… most probably… I am never coming back…
I look around feverishly, barely seeing anything at all, but my white pack of cigarettes and my lighter are just right beside my hand. So I grab them and without looking at anybody I almost run away from everyone to the balcony, step outside and close the door behind me.
The traffic noise envelops me, the heat of the summer day overlies me and I feel the smells from the street reach my nostrils. Nothing’s new. The life in the city goes on just like it used to. It’s only my life that has been stopped so abruptly.
I don’t even want to smoke, I just needed an escape. I needed to get out of the room where everyone’s eyes were on me, where everyone was starring at a man with a death sentence pronounced on him.
Because that was exactly what has just happened.
They will force me to leave for four years. But I most probably will not manage to withstand even these four years and die somewhere along the way, with the thoughts of going back home being the only thing that would make me go through day after day.
I want to cry so badly now. But crying won’t change anything.
They said they’ll give me 24 hours to say goodbyes. But what a cruel way to torture this is? How will I have to face my parents knowing I was chosen to be one of those doomed souls? How will I face my lovely little sister, who’s so attached to me and loves me so much? Will I be able to see him as well? To tell him I love him? To ask him for that one kiss? My first and last kiss ever with him?
I stand there, in the balcony for God-knows how long. But as I hear the doors being opened carefully, I know it was exactly half an hour.
“Kyo?” I hear Toshiya’s shaky voice. “They’re here…”
I nod curtly. Time is up. I have to go.
I keep my head bowed down while I pass my friends and bandmates, and the one I love. But suddenly somebody lunges forward and hugs me strongly, his grip even somewhat too tight.
“I’ll be waiting for you, Kyo!” Toshiya chokes out the words and I can swear I hear him cry. But I don’t look up at him, nor do I hug him back. I just want to get it over with sooner. I don’t want to see them or anybody else for that matter. They’re not the ones being forced to leave everything behind. They’re not the ones having to give up literary everything they have.
It’s me. I have to go. And I will have to leave alone. And they will just go on with their lives, somewhat changed, but lives nonetheless.
Somebody drags Toshiya away from me and I continue walking.
When I reach the threshold, I hesitate for a moment. I want to turn back to them, to see them and him, to hear them say they found out a way for me to avoid this fate.
But all is silent. Nobody moves. Nobody says a thing.
So I gather my courage and leave the room completely. I can see them in their uniforms at the back of the corridor, waiting for me. I can see other staff members watching me walk past them, but I do not lift my head to look at them.
Or to look at the ones taking me away.
They lead me to the car, show me where to sit and drive me away.
And only when the car has been going for some time, only then I dare to lift my eyes and gaze out the window.
And through my blurry eyes I can barely see anything at all.
Only his shocked face after he heard my name pronounced remains in front of my eyes.

TBC

So… what do you guys think? :))) I haven’t posted anything in ages, so this is rather exciting… and scary XD
Comments would be lovely!!! ^^
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The Moon