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If This World Were Mine	By : sissouthernink1994 Category: Reality TV > American Idol/Pop Idol Views: 1110 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on my love of Adam Lambert. I don't know him. I don't own American Idol. The song "If This World Were Mine" belongs to a Marvin Gaye and his estate. I also don't know actor Hill Harper. Written in fun, no profit gaine

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: The only things I own are:
- OC Sebastian James Kyle, III
- The singing group he sings in
- The record label the group is on
Flash-forward…
                James walked in the living room of the hotel suite, finally in the most comfortable clothing- his pajamas. Adam was already in his and relaxing on the couch, waiting for James. Adam was sitting in the corner of the couch with his legs and arms open to comfort his lover. All was quiet in their suite. Adam could have had music playing, but decided against it. James picked up his glass of wine from the coffee table and took a long sip. He wondered if Adam should have fixed him a stronger drink; he kind of wanted to forget tonight ever happened. But doing that meant that he and Adam never would have been. That’s what all the chaos and fuss was about. And right now, Adam was the glue holding this handsome brother together.
                James nestled himself between Adam’s legs, placing his glass on the table behind the couch. He leaned against his lover’s chest and immediately felt those loving arms encircle him. As he rested his head, he let out the weariest of sighs. Adam kissed James’s temple. James turned his face, kissed Adam’s lips then nestled back into his arms.
“I know this is going to be a weird question, but how are you really feeling?” Adam asked. James shook his head in disbelief at the events of the last few weeks. He never thought his honesty could potentially cost so much.
“Honestly? I’m a huge ball of confusion, babe. I really don’t know what to think. On one hand, I’m angry and pissed. I’m hurt that the fans, our fans would treat me and us that way. On the other, I feel guilty and ashamed that my act of honesty caused our fans to stop believing in us. It’s costing album sales, TV appearances and now concert tickets. If I had just…”
“James, you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are. You were honest with yourself first, then the members of your group then your fans. You wanted to share that part of your life with them, from your heart before some crazy tabloid spun it in a different direction. No one can tell your story but you. And it wasn’t a total loss. You’ve seen the letters from those people that were encouraged by what you said. By coming out to your fans, some of them were able to come out too.”
“But the unsupportive ones don’t realize by trying to hurt and boycott me, they are hurting and boycotting everyone else. We’ve sold out the Garden before. There are a few places that you don’t book unless you know you can fill them. We felt that way about Madison Square Garden. They took pity on us and I thank them for that, but they lost so much money with our show tonight. All we want to do is make music; we wanna sing and write. We wanna bring smiles to people’s faces. But if they don’t support us, what do we have?” James asked as the tears began to crawl down his cheeks. “And the guys are so understanding, more than they should ever have to be. Every dagger that flies at me, cuts them. This is their livelihood too. It’s so messed up.”
                The couple sat in silence for a few minutes. Adam held James closer and gently rocked him as his cried. He could feel James’s hands on his pleading for understanding. Adam loved the way their skin looked next to each other’s. The nail art he work tonight wasn’t black like it normally was; it matched the outfits James wore on stage tonight. He was supporting his boyfriend. Tonight those pale, soft hands were holding James’s mocha brown ones in love and comfort. Southern Gentleman had followed through with their meet-n-greet after the show even though they were emotionally drained from disappointment. The men kept their promise. All the ticket holders, no matter their seat purchase, were treated to a floor show. They received the same energetic, we-love-our-fans performance they would have received if the Garden had been sold out. They signed tour books, tickets, and t-shirts. They took so many pictures with their fans, the ones that were supportive.
                It was after the fans left that James made his speech to the group with their managers, band, label CEO, friends and family. He was thinking about leaving the group. Maybe if he left, people would buy their music and concert tickets again. Maybe they would regain their respect in the R&B world. Maybe.
“I don’t know how to fix this one.” James sniffed as he slowly stopped crying. Adam was gently stroking his face and arms.
“Maybe you guys should do a conference or something. A talk show maybe.” Adam commented.
“I don’t even think Oprah can fix this.”
“Maybe not Oprah, but it would be a start.”
“I thought I explained everything that night on Twitter and in the video and the articles. What more do they want from me?”
“I don’t know. I guess most of them don’t understand why you waited so long to come out to them.”
“But I keep thinking about how little album sales we would have had if they had known from the beginning that I was gay. You see how they turned on us? They only reason we had sales was because I kept myself in the closet.”
“Do you regret it?” his lover asked kissing his hands.
“Concerning us? No, never that. Never, you.” He returned the kiss to Adam’s hands. “You are the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I love you with all my heart. I cannot imagine being in love with anyone else. But I just wish it had turned out differently for my career.”
“Jaybaby, it’s not over yet. I think there’s still time to fix it.”James turned his head to look at Adam.
“How?”
“By staying. I don’t think you should leave the group. I mean, have you ever really looked at any footage of you guys singing? It’s magic but it’s magic with all five of you, not four. I mean my favorite song is ‘Love’. Your a cappella voices blend so beautifully and for the life of me I still can’t figure out why you decided against releasing it as a single. The recording gives me goose bumps; can you imagine what I get when you sing it live? It’s moments like that, that makes what we do worth the shit and craziness we have to go through.” James pulled Adam’s arms closer around him.
“You think I should stay?”
“Yeah I do. I don’t know what your contract says, but I think this can be fixed. No one wants to see the end of Southern Gentlemen, I know I don’t. Focus on the fans you do have, venture out for new ones. However, in the end if you decide that leaving is the best, I will support you. No matter what.”
“Thank you sweetheart. I had no idea that coming out to my fans would cause all this! It seems so much easier for other artists. Ellen’s career is fine. I don’t remember Melissa Etheridge losing fans. Dave Koz said he actually gained fans. Even metal god Rob Halford still has fans. Nobody stopped buying their records, their concerts weren’t boycotted. Even when you officially came out, things were fine.”
“Yeah, and I thought it was obvious to everyone that I was outrageously gay, but there were a lot of people who didn’t know. Had no gaydar what so ever.”
“Even Congressman Barney Frank is still being elected after coming out over 20 years ago. Being gay didn’t change things for them or you, why me? Why am I suffering?”

“I wish I knew Jaybaby, I wish I knew.” They spent the next hour or so trying to relax with their glasses of wine. But it was spent mostly in comfort and question. After a while, Adam convinced James to go to bed. Nothing was going to be solved that night anyway. They might as well get some rest and recharge their batteries for the next fight.

A/N: If you don’t know the people I mentioned- Rob Halford (from Judas Priest), Melissa Etheridge (I guess you consider her a rock musician), Dave Koz (jazz musician), Ellen DeGeneres (comedienne), Barney Frank (D-MA) are all openly gay.
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If This World Were Mine