Code Blue | By : HobNobsAndTea Category: Individual Celebrities > Tom Hiddleston Views: 2055 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Neither I, nor any of the writers know Tom Hiddleston, his PR people, nor have we ever met him. We do not make any profit from this story other then the enjoyment of writting it. All characters and events are entirely fictional. |
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Written By: Kaiti Courts, Marian K. Welty (TheBlackadder), Jade Hagedorn, Megan O (TwistedTransistor)The Scenario: Tom Hiddleston/Real Time/London
Tom is doing research for a new role he's going to be in playing a doctor in a hospital for a new TV series in just a few short months so he is a civilian volunteer for the community hospital. Shadowing nurses, candy stripers, housekeeping, and orderlies. You work at the hospital as well and see him every day at lunch in the cafeteria. You aren't really sure what to think of him, except you are slightly irritated feeling as though this entire thing is a joke, and he doesn't take the care of the sick and wounded very seriously.
One morning, your boss tells you that Tom will be shadowing and helping you with your duties and rounds for the day. You start to protest only to be told you don't have a choice in the matter and are left with a cheerful, enthusiastic, and eager Tom waiting to hear what you'll be doing first.
You begrudgingly accept your task- as a nurse; it isn't the first time you've had to do something you really didn't want to.
"It's so lovely to meet you, I'm Tom," he smiles at you as he extends his hand. You shake, noting just how strong he is.
"Good morning Tom. Are you sure you're ready for this? It's not expensive suits and elbowing with beautiful people," you respond.
Tom's face gets serious for a moment, and you start to think that maybe there's hope for him yet. "I know just how serious your line of work can be, and I have a great respect for people who do what you do. And I'm really honored to be working alongside you...even if all I'm doing is watching while you do all the hard work."
You look him in the eye as he tells you this, and you're the least bit surprised. You always thought "Hollywood" actors were just in it for the fame and money, and to see and hear someone who gets paid millions to pretend for a living, tell you he respects what *you* do is a bit stunning. His blue eyes reflect so much sincerity and trust, and you know you can't be effective as a nurse if you're holding contempt for the man who is going to shadow you all day. So you do what you know you have to do- you smile at him and say, "Get ready for an eye-opener, Tom. You will certainly learn a lot today.."
Now that the pleasantries were out of the way you felt like you needed to let him know that you weren’t going to tolerate any nonsense and this was serious. Because honestly, everything else aside, you loved what you do and you took caring for people and helping them retain their dignity very seriously.
“You need to wash your hands. Thoroughly, all the way up to your elbows.” You say looking at them. “Both before and after each patient. There are patients that need sponge baths today and their linens need to be changed. It needs to be done quickly, and it needs to be done in a way that doesn’t make the patient uncomfortable or humiliated. Got it?” Tom listens seriously giving a nod to let you know he understood. “People are sick, and they have enough to worry about without being used as some kind of ‘experiment’ or ‘lab rat’ in some actors desire to pretend to be a doctor.”
“I fully understand. I swear to you, I’m here to help not make any one uncomfortable.” He reassures you.
“We’ll see.” You say looking him over in his purple scrubs that matched yours.
“Get scrubbed up. We start rounds in 15 minutes.” You realized that you probably sounded bitchy and a little hard assed but you couldn't help it. Today was like any other day and he was like any other trainee.
Working on a pediatric ward, you needed to be able to smile through the bad news. These kids faced more in a day than you probably would in a year.
"Ok, Tom. This is a very sick little boy. His immune system is compromised by his medication, so we have to wear masks." He nods. Outside the room, there's non-latex gloves and masks that the both of you pull on. You push open the sliding door and move the curtain aside. "Morning, Jacob. How are you feeling?"
"Pukey. I threw up twice last night." There's a faint sour scent of vomit in the room.
"Did you order something light for breakfast then?"
He grins, a surprisingly jovial and innocent grin. "Popsicles!"
"Popsicles? Popsicles. Well if you can keep that down, we'll try something more substantial for lunch. "Jacob, this is Tom. He'll be shadowing me for the day."
Tom knelt down beside the bed to get eye-level with Jacob.
"Jacob, I'm so happy to meet you!" he greeted the little boy with bright eyes and a smile behind his mask.
"What does shadow mean, Nurse (y/n)?" Jacob asked.
"Shadow means, he's going to watch what I do all day, and hopefully he'll learn something," you say, with only a hint of snark. You really did mean it playfully, but as soon as the words left your lips, you couldn't help but feel like it was just a little bit of a pot shot.
Shaking it off as best you could, you got up and walked over to the portable cart to get his vital signs. You wrap the blood pressure cuff around Jacob's arm and explain, "Tom, this is the vitals cart- every room has to have one of its own in case of an emergency."
Tom nods at you as you tell him, and sits down on the bed next to Jacob.
"Jacob, are you ready to test your muscles?"
"Yeah, see if I'm stronger than yesterday!" He exclaims. The blood pressure finishes reading, and his result is low, but still in the normal range. Tom looks down at Jacob's hand to see him playing with a
Thor action figure. The irony not lost on him, he sees his opportunity to connect with Jacob.
"My goodness, Jacob- you're the strongest boy I've ever seen! If you keep it up, you could very well keep pace with our man here!"
Jacob grins, "You know Thor? All the nurses keep asking me who he is." He says glancing at you. "How can anyone not know the mighty Thor!" He says holding up the action figure complete with his red cape and Mjonir. "God of thunder! Savor of Midgard!"
Tom grins finding that Jacob was truly a fan, “Then you’ve seen Thor, Avengers, and Thor 2?” He asks.
“Yeah! My mom bought them for me.” He says motioning to the DVD’s on his nightstand. “They let me watch it sometimes, and the other kids really like them too. But we have to share the TV so not very often.”
“Tom.” You say reminding him he was meant to be helping you not fishing for compliments. He gives a nod as you have clean sheets to change Jacobs bed linens. “Now Jacob you remember how we do this, right?”
He nods reaching over putting his action figure down rolling over as you quickly and expertly slip the current sheets off each corner pulling the new ones on, “Alright.” Jacob rolls over facing you and you motion for Tom to do what you’d just done by taking off the old sheets and pulling the new ones on just as you did.
Tom springs into action, following your lead and making sure the sheet is tucked in snugly. You gather the old ones and throw them in the laundry bag. As you double-check to make sure to got all the vitals in Jacob's chart, Tom watches over your shoulder.
"Thank you again for this. It really means a lot to be able to learn from one of the best," he says quietly in your ear.
You beam internally, feeling a huge sense of validation. But you don't want to let your guard down so easily. He *was* an actor, and it very well could be a line. You turn to him and see his bright blue eyes. He certainly looks honest enough right now.
"Thank you. But let's see if you still feel the same way by lunch- we've only just begun."
You feel two small eyes on you as you finish documenting, and you look down to see Jacob staring at the pair of you. "Do you need anything else, sweetheart?" you ask.
"Can you and Tom stay and watch Thor with me?" Your heart swells. You smile and look over your shoulder to him. Tom looks to you, then down at Jacob. He kneels down by the bed again as he replies. "I wish I could, buddy. I have to stay with Nurse (y/n) today. But maybe later on?"
Jacob looks a little disappointed but smiles and gives a nod. "Okay." He picks up his action figure raising Thor's empty hand, "For Asgard!" signing his chart for the hour you move to the next bed as Tom moves in closer to you.
“What is he in for?” He questions. “What kind of medication would compromise his immune system like that?”
“Chemo therapy. His prognosis looks promising but he’s had a rough time of it. Apparently his father couldn’t take it and walked out on them after it came back the second time leaving the mother to take care of Jacob and his two sisters.” You say softly so no one else can hear. There’s a sadness in Tom’s eyes as he looks back towards Jacob who didn’t seem sad at all. He seemed rather optimistic and happily played with his Thor doll.
“He’s dying.” Tom said softly.
“Maybe not. They don’t know yet. But we haven’t given up on him.” You look towards Jacob. “And neither has he.” You look back at Tom, “Come on.”
Moving to the next patient you come to a little girl who is laying quietly starring at the window her arm draped across her middle, “Good morning Amanda, how are you feeling today.” She doesn’t answer and just turns her eyes away back towards the window. It was quite clear that she was depressed. “This is Tom, he’s going to be helping me out today.”
“Very pleased to meet you.” He says with a smile except the mask he’s wearing is obscuring his beautiful smile.
You start to take her vitals and ask the routine questions.
"I don't want lunch today."
"Amanda, you need to eat. You know this."
"I'm not hungry."
You sigh. "Did you eat breakfast?"
"No. I'm not hungry."
"Amanda, if you don't eat, we'll have to put the feeding tube back in."
"I hate you."
"I know but I'm only doing my job." You close the work station and motion for Tom to follow you. After removing your ppe, you close the door and sanitize your hands. "Amanda is mobile so we don't have to change her sheets. Housekeeping will when she goes for her testing this afternoon."
Tom glances at the closed door. "What's the testing for?"
You frown. "Listen, Mr. Hiddleston-"
"Tom, please."
You sigh. "Tom. I have no problem answering your questions about the job. But I cannot and will not answer anymore about the patients. We have these privacy laws. HIPAA. I can lose my job by divulging patient information. I shouldn't have with Jacob but he likes you. And I think he'll be over the moon when he finds out that you're Loki."
"I'm so sorry."
"I'll print out the information for to read on HIPAA when we get back to the nurses' station. Didn't they have you watch a video?"
"No?"
You sigh. Again. Apparently, you were going to be sighing alot today.
The two of you finish the rounds, seeing a total of seven patients by the time it was all said and done. Since your mild scolding, Tom did his best to keep his distance from the patients without being rude. As you were leaving the last patient's room, Ashlynn, you looked at him. More out of a nurse's "sixth sense" then anything else. And you didn't like what you saw.
His face was drawn, his eyes sad. The light you saw in them earlier that morning was much dimmer. You felt a pang of concern for him. "Tom? Are you all right?" You place a hand on his arm while checking on him, and he pinches the bridge of his nose. You ask again, "Tom?"
He opens his eyes and looks down at you. And you could almost swear he had tears in his eyes. His eyebrows were knitted. He looked like he was in actual pain.
"Tom, what's the matter? Are you all right?" you implore. He certainly doesn't look all right.
"How do you do this? Deal with these poor, sick children day in and day out?" Your heart clenches as he continues. "Jacob, who can't even get out of bed, Amanda who tells you she hates you, and poor Ashlynn, she- she can't even walk to the bathroom by herself. I mean, how do you make it through the day, seeing this?"
You didn't really know what to say, because you *didn't* always make it through the day with your patients. So you just tell him. "I don't always. There are days I go home from here after twelve hours and I drink an entire bottle of wine. There are other days I leave here and cry the entire drive home. I do the only thing I know to do while I'm here. And that is, tell myself they need me to be 100% for the next twelve hours. Because they do. And if I can't give them that little bit, no one else will." You explained with all the conviction you could muster. Every single word of it was true. Tom looked down at you as he processed your speech, and his expression softened. He looked down at his feet for a moment, and when he glanced back up, he looked a little better.
"They need you?" he asked. You nodded. "Some more than others, but yes. What kind of a nurse would I be if I couldn't do my job properly?"
Tom sighed, and you began to see a glimmer of hope in him. He was beginning to see that to you, this was a very serious thing- the thing you had devoted your life to. He exhaled forcefully and looked into your eyes.
"It's not all rainbows and butterflies, but it isn't all sadness and despair either. Just look at your new best friend Jacob," you laughed. Tom smiled again, and let out a small laugh. "Yes...even though I'm pretty sure he likes Thor better than Loki." Now it was your turn to laugh as you comforted him once more. "Don't undervalue yourself, Tom. You may be surprised who his favorite Prince of Asgard really is."
Tom smiled a little bit to hear that. You check your watch, “Lunch time.” Taking off your mask and gloves Tom does the same. “We have an hour then back on duty.” He gives a nod as you both wash your hands and head down to the cafeteria.
After getting your food you’re both sitting down together at a corner table. “You know, I always heard that hospital food was atrocious.” Tom says. “This is actually some rather delicious cuisine.”
“Hospital food isn’t all that bad. The patients feel like it is because most of them are on special diets their doctors put them on and often times it’s not stuff they want to eat. Therefore the end result of public opinion is that hospital food sucks.” You explain.
“Good Lord.” He says taking another bite. “Certainly makes sense though.” Tom seems to drift off lost in thought for several moments.
“What is it?” You ask curiously wondering where he went.
“Is Jacob the only Avenger fan in the pediatric ward?” He questions.
“No, the other kids all like to watch the Marvel movies too. Sometimes they play the parts when they get bored which is more often than not. Kids don’t like to stay in bed, even when they’re sick. Keeping them entertained can be quite the task.” You answer.
“I wonder if . . .” He drifts off lost in thought again.
“You wonder if? . . . . what?” You ask.
He’s gone another moment before pulling back, “No nothing. Just a thought.”
You narrow your eyes at him, “God I hate people who don’t finish their sentences.” It really was one of your pet peeves.
“Sorry.” He half laughs, “My mind does really tend to wonder sometimes.”
"Clearly" you say. "Your mind seems to be off in Asgard rather than here on planet Earth. Or, sorry, 'Midgard'. If you really expect to learn anything while you're here, you're going to have to stop going from patient to patient and seeing if they recognize you."
Tom stops mid-chew and looks at you, his jaw tensing. After he swallows, he puts down his fork and clears his throat before looking up at you again.
"Can I be frank with you?" he asks, continuing when you nod. "You've been quite cold to me the entire morning."
Your brow furrows and you start to say something, but he cuts you off.
"Don't think I haven't noticed it. It's been smart remarks and subtle put-downs since I got here. Now, I usually try to give people the benefit of the doubt, so I let it go the first couple of times. But honestly, it's really beginning to bother me. I get the feeling that you're very irritated with me, or the fact that I'm here, or something. You can correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am in fact wrong, I sincerely apologize. But if I'm right, I'd like to know why." Tom crosses his arms as he finishes, waiting for your response.
You had kept it to yourself all day and when you realized that you were being short with him you did try to stop and reel yourself in. However he opened the door and now he was sitting here challenging you. You put down your fork and meet his stare.
“Why are you here?” You ask directly.
Tom looks like he was blindsided by the question. “Pardon?”
“Why are you here?” You ask again. He didn’t seem like he understood why you were asking him that when he’d just told you. “I’m a nurse. I’m here to help people when they’re hurt or sick. To nurse them back to health. To give them the help that they need to get through their ordeal. Sometimes healing isn’t an option and we have to simply make them the most comfortable we can until their pain ends. You? You are an actor. You aren’t here to help anyone. To make anyone’s life better, to help them because they are sick and need help. You are here to study people who are sick and the people who are helping them so you can mimic them on a camera. So you can pretend to be something you aren’t.” You lean forward towards him, “You’re being here? Is a cosmic joke. The majority of people here, doctors and nurses this is their calling. This is our calling. However glamorous Hollywood or stories makes it, I hate to tell you, the reality of it is that it’s a shitty job. People are sick, people are wounded, people are dying. Day in and day out and guess what? When you’ve done your little ‘study’ or whatever the fuck this is supposed to be, you’ll be gone. Onto your next big movie or TV role pretending to be something else you're not, and us? We’ll all still be here.” You throw your napkin down having lost your appetite and stand. “Shift starts again in half an hour. You better be at the nurses’ station and prepared to work.”
Before he could respond you turn heading out of the cafeteria leaving Tom in a stunned silence. Once you’re out in the hallway you stop feeling sick to your stomach. You didn’t like tearing people up like that, and to be honest he really didn’t deserve it. You took your own feelings, beliefs and opinions and ripped him to shreds. You immediately regret the whole scene and turn back feeling like you should apologize but stop. Shaking your head you turn around again and walk away.
As Tom sits there, a girl he'd shadowed in admitting sees him.
"Hey, you. How's life on the floor?" He looks up at her momentarily unable to keep everything of his face. "Whoa. That bad, huh?" She sits down, moving your tray to the side.
"I'm beginning to feel I made a colossal mistake." He leans back in the chair.
"Why's that?" He briefly gives her an edited rundown of what just happened. "While she was a bitch about it, she's right. So. Why are you here?"
"I wanted to be as true to the job as I could. I didn't want people to watch this movie and say I had no clue and that is rubbish."
"Because you want them to believe you're a good actor or because you feel the job deserves it?"
He sits there and thinks about it. She looks at her watch. "I gotta go. Come by admitting and we'll do lunch sometime." He watches her walk about then glances at the digital clock on the wall. He had another 6 hours with you and he really didn't want them to be awkward and uncomfortable.
Tom took his tray to the return station and walked out of the cafeteria, looking around the lobby. He knew he had to do something to prove to you he took this seriously, that it wasn't a cosmic joke to him. But what? It's not like he had a lot of time to run out and find something. Just then he sees your boss walking out of the administration office. 'Maybe she could help me,' he thought.
"Tom? How is it going this morning? I hope (y/n) has been treating you well?" your boss Deb asks. "It's going fairly well, I'm learning a lot from her. Listen, I wanted to do something for her, as kind of a thank you. Do you know what she might like?"
Deb thinks for a minute, tapping her chin with her finger. "Well, she always did seem partial to daisies and pedicures. That might just do the trick," she said with a smile.
"That simple, huh?" Tom stated. Deb continued, "Oh yes. Nurses are not usually a selfish bunch- otherwise they wouldn't be nurses, would they? No, Ive heard her talk about how excited she was to just sit and have a glass of wine and a pedicure on her weekends off."
Tom grinned down at Deb, so grateful for her help. "Is there a place nearby she likes to go?"
"There's one about two blocks down, and if you hurry," Deb said, looking at her watch, "you might make it back in time to finish the shift with her."
"Thank you so much, Deb, I really appreciate it!" Tom exclaimed as he took off out the front door of the hospital, eager to get his gift together.
You, on the other hand, were not feeling nearly so spry. You had made yourself sick with what you said at lunch. As you sat in the employee lounge holding your head in your hands, trying to fend off what you knew would be a massive headache by mid afternoon, you kept playing your little speech over and over in your head. And all you could see was his face dropping every single time. You were so embarrassed. And you still had six more hours to go. That is, if he didn't request to be put with another nurse. Hell, he would probably demand it after your little show in the cafeteria.
You pulled an icepack from the freezer in the lounge and draped it over the back of your neck. Maybe this would help stem the growing pounding in your head. You looked at the clock, groaning when you realized your lunch was over. 'Maybe it won't be so bad...maybe he'll forget what you told him at lunch. Yeah, and maybe a squad of flying monkeys will fly into the hospital and take it over,' you thought to yourself, laughing at your own ridiculous thought.
You walked out of the lounge not fully prepared to face Tom again, and walked up to the nurses' station. He wasn't there. 'Shocking...' you thought, knowing you probably scared him away. You waited another couple minutes, and nothing. You had been feeling bad for him, but now you were getting a little irritated again. If he were going to bail on you, you at least would have thought he would tell you. And if not him, someone. You drummed your fingers on the counter impatiently as you heard the elevator ding. And when you saw Tom get off the elevator, your eyes doubled in size and your jaw nearly hit the floor.
Tom is carrying a big bouquet of yellow and white daisies in a smiley face vase in one hand, and on his other arm is a massive basket full of cookies, cakes, candy and other goodies. He rushes over to the nurses station putting the things down on the counter. “Sorry! Sorry! I know I’m late, the elevator car took forever to answer the call." he says washing his hands getting a mask and a pair of gloves.
You’re a little stunned looking at the wide array of gifts he’d brought with him. “Uh. What is all this?” You question.
“Oh. Well, I thought that the nurses on this floor needed a treat. You know, something to brighten their day and get them through their shift, but this.” He picks up the smiley vase full of daises handing it to you. “This is for you.” You take it starring at the flowers wide eyed. You look at him quite confused not understanding this when at lunch, the last time you saw him, you ripped him a new one. It wasn’t the sort of behavior that would warrant flowers. However before you could speak Tom stops you. “You’re right.” He begins seriously. “Everything you said was spot on. I am just an actor. What I do couldn’t hold a candle to the things you do for other people every single day. I watched you with your patients this morning. The young ones, the adult ones. You really care about them. Even Amanda who insists she hates you.” He paused a moment, “I apologize, unreservedly if you feel my being here seems to cheapen what you and your peers do in anyway. It couldn’t be further from my intentions. I admire you. All of you for the work you do. I don’t think, to be truthful, I would have what it takes to do all the things you do.”
You just stare at him, properly speechless. What in the world did you say to all of that?
All you could do was blink at Tom as he stood in front of you. You couldn't even find words, let alone the right ones. Or more importantly, the ones to apologize to him for the way you raked him over the coals at lunch. "Um...I don't...I don't know what to say." you stutter. You feel a pair of nosy eyes on you, and look over to see Madge, the nursing secretary staring at the pair of you. You may not know what you want to say just yet, but you know you don't want to say it in front of the floor gossip queen. So you pull Tom into an empty patient room by the elbow.
You shut the door and place the vase on the vanity counter. You look down into the sink with your back to Tom, searching for any words to say to him. You look up into the mirror to see his eyes on you. You can tell he doesn't have a clue what to think. You take a deep breath as you turn around and look up at him. 'God, he's tall,' you think. All you can say is the only thing you've been sick about for the last 45 minutes. "I'm so sorry."
Tom starts to interject, "No it's fine," but you're not having any of it. "No, it isn't. What I said to you was so unfair, and I didn't even give you a chance to explain yourself- I just got up and walked away," you continue, your hands nervously flipping about. "Please don't take what I said to heart. You've done nothing but be kind to me and my patients all morning...I don't even think I deserve these flowers, to be honest." You couldn't hide your nervous energy, and Tom couldn't hide the fact that he was smiling down at you.
You caught his smile as you looked up at him from all your stuttering and regret. You offered up your own little half-smile as you saw his.
"Can you ever forgive me?" you ask with pleading eyes.
And Tom does what you were afraid would never happen- he stretches out his arms to you for a hug. You all but fall into them, afraid he would say no, and make the rest of your time together even worse. You were so grateful, and wrap your arms around him in return. And though you couldn't be sure, you thought you heard him breathe you in for a moment. After a moment, he says quietly in your ear, "All is forgiven, darling." You tighten the hug and respond with a whispered, "thank you," and the two of you begin to separate. And as you do, he catches your gaze. Something in it had changed, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. There was a slight spark in the air suddenly, and you pulled away with a quiet gasp.
"We should, um...go and..uh--" "--check on your patients?" "Yes, we should do that. Jacob is almost due for another dose of something, I'm sure." You finally gather your thoughts, grabbing the vase from the counter and reaching for the door handle.
Four staff stand outside in the smoking area on their cigarette break. Tom has been hovering around the hospital from station to station for almost two weeks now. Opinions seem to be going in different ways. “I don’t know, he seems eager enough.” Jason says taking a long drag off his cigarette. “I mean, he does what he’s told, catches on fast.”
“Because he’s studying for a part.” Jessica responds. “Not because he really wants to help these people. Not because he’s working on advancing his career. This is absolute nonsense. They’re only letting him get away with it because of how much his production company is paying the hospital.”
“We have volunteer workers all the time.” Mary chimes in. “He’s no different, he’s just . . . you know, got other reasons for being here. But he does help people. He’s been spending a lot of time in the pediatric ward with the kids. He seems to want to do what he can to cheer them up.”
“Did you hear? One of the nurses on the pediatric ward ripped him a new one about making a mockery of what we do, that his being in the hospital at all was a joke. How does he respond? He gets a wheelbarrow of goodies and gifts to bring to the nurses on the floor, and brought the one who chewed him out a giant bouquet of daisies and a coupon for a spa day.” Rachel added.
“Jesus.” Jessica said. “Not exactly a normal human reaction. Unless he just excelled at suck up and brown nosing 101. He has to know that a lot of the staff had the same opinion of his being here. Why else would he be buying gifts and everything else under the sun to gain favor.”
“Puft. Who knows. But he’s only supposed to be here a few more weeks then he goes to start filming his TV show.” Mary said.
“I heard that there is talk they’re going to be filming the show here.” Jason said. The three women quieted and looked at him in disbelief. “Depends on how much they’re planning on shilling out for that.”
“Oh great. As if we aren’t busy enough and he’s not underfoot already.” Mary exclaimed.
“It’s probably just gossip. Come on, this is a serious business. They aren’t going to let a bunch of actors get in the way when we have people who are really sick and injured that need help. That’s just asinine.” Rachel said.
Jessica checked her watch and crushed out her cigarette. “Times up. We’ve got to get back to work.” The others took a few last drags from their cigarettes putting them out as well before all four of them went back into the hospital.
“He just better stay away from me. That’s all I gotta say.” Mary said.
“If he’s assigned to us we don’t have much of a choice.” Rachel said as they went inside.
The nurses seated at the nurse's station look up at you as you come out of the break room. Tom's high pitched laughter comes from Jacob's room. Out of all the kids, he'd really connected with him. They talked about superheroes and boy stuff for hours.
"He's back?"
Maggie nods. "He walked onto the floor just after you went to lunch."
"I think it's cute." One of the other nurses crosses her arms over her chest.
"I never said it wasn't." You sanitize your hands, put on gloves and a mask. The closed door whooses as it opens. The reverse air pressure makes a sort of seal. "He look is my favorite nurse."
You smile but you notice the circles under Jacob's eyes are just a tad darker than when you hooked up his IV infusion. "Hey Jake. You feeling ok?"
He smiles up at you. "No, I feel kinda pukey but Tom's been telling me stories about when he played rugby in school."
You check his vitals and the way his pupils react and his tongue. Tom watches you, his mirth slowly fading as you continue your serious ministrations. "Ok, buddy. You know the drill. Call us if you start feeling worse." You give Tom a significant look as you leave.
A few minutes later, Tom joins you in the hall. "Is he alright?"
You both take off your PPE. "He's had his monthly chemo infusion. He's going to be a very sick little boy for the next few days."
"So . . . I should not stop by and visit." He looks down at the floor. He hadn't expected to form a bond but he loved kids. And this kid was pretty special.
"No, I think when you come visit, you should check in with us before going to his room. If he's feeling up for it, you can visit. If not, then you save it for another time."
He nods. "I can definitely do that." He glances up and down hall to make sure you're alone. "I'm only here for 2 more weeks. After that, I'd love it if you'd go for a drink with me."
You blink at him. "I uh, I don't drink, Tom."
"Then a coffee? You've been one of the most helpful people I've shadowed. And the most real."
You glance up the hall looking for rescue but they're just watching you two through the mirrored dome. "I guess."
You start to turn to walk away but stop turning back and looking at Tom. Maybe you had some ideas how his motives about being here but one thing you have learned was that he wanted to make other people happy, to see them smile, to bring them joy. Reaching out you take his arm and pull him into the records room closing the door a moment and he looks at you curiously.
“Tom,” You start slowly, “I know that you’ve become very fond of Jacob and I think it’s obvious he’s fond of you. He’s a very smart and perceptive little boy I’m surprised that he hasn’t figure out who you are yet. He ever gets you side by side with one of those Marvel movies the jigs definitely up.” You begin not knowing how to tell him. “But Tom . . . you have to know something. His cancer has come back twice when they thought they had gotten it all. They thought it was in remission. It’s a very aggressive form of cancer.” You pause again looking down. “We like to stay positive around the children, we like to maintain hopes no matter what but . . . in cases like this . . . .”
Tom closes his eyes lowering his head. “He’s not going to get better then, is he.”
You close your eyes taking a breath not wanting to say it out loud. There was nothing worse than watching a child die of cancer. “Miracles do happen, Tom. . . . just . . . not as often as stories and movies would have you believe. Not as often as we would like them too.” You say honestly.
Tears well in Tom’s eyes as he fights to hold them back, a tight knot in his throat. “But he’s responding to his treatment . . . . isn’t he? This time, he’s . . . it’s working?”
“For now. Like I told you before. He hasn’t given up yet, and neither have we.” You say softly. Tom gives a nod. You feel a twinge in your heart seeing quite clearly that his feelings and emotions for the boy weren’t made up, and they weren’t put on. He really did care and feel deeply about Jacob. Looking down a moment you turn and leave the records room to give Tom a moment to collect himself.
“Some days I hate this fucking job.” You say with a sigh under your breath.
You collected yourself as you left the records room, being far too familiar with what you were feeling. But you could hear Tom through the door, and it was evident he wasn't taking the news well. You pushed in in the handle, and, taking a deep breath to steady yourself again, you entered the room, not sure what state you would find Tom in. But you should have known.
He was leaned up against the racks, his head tilted back looking at the ceiling. With wet cheeks and red eyes. His hair was mussed like he'd been pulling on it. One hand covered his mouth as the other supported his elbow. He didn't even hear you come in- he had just sensed you standing there. He sniffled as his head dropped over to look at you. And it was just about all you could take of this scene. Tom had proved himself a pretty intelligent man, with the ability to make a sound decision. But seeing him like this, reduced to tears over something he could control? It almost broke you.
You reached out to him, unaware of the fact that you had even closed the space between you two, and pulled him close. It was all you could think to do- he needed to be comforted. He wrapped his arms around you and squeezed tight, dropping his head onto your shoulder. A strange instinct kicked in and you started rocking back and forth, shushing him quietly like he was a young child himself. "It's all right, Tom. It'll be okay." It wasn't an admission that Jacob would be okay- it was more confirmation that what he was feeling was okay. And at the moment, it was all you could give him.
After a little while Tom seems just to hug you back and is feeling better. Which only really makes you feel worse. “I owe you an apology.” You say with a sigh. Tom reaches up brushing his eyes lightly before lifting his head looking at you.
“What for?” He asks a bit confused.
You look into his eyes a moment, “For being the loudest bitch and attitude problem about your being here.” He might as well knew it. If he did one more nice thing for you, you were going to smoother yourself with a pillow from the guilt. “A lot of people . . . . not just actors I mean, we get volunteers in here too that are all about ‘showing’ they care rather than caring. There are people actually in this field of work that are just here for a paycheck.” You turn your eyes down, “I’ve apparently worked here long enough I’ve become a bit jaded and cynical.”
A small smile appeared on Tom’s lips while you were talking and you look at him furrowing your brow not aware you were saying anything amusing. Realizing you might be taking his look the wrong way he takes your hand in his. “The people you’re describing are ‘jaded’ and ‘cynical’. From what I’ve seen you couldn’t be further from it. You’re very protective of those in your care, those who need help. As all care workers should be of those in their charge.” He kisses your hand gently looking into your eyes with a smile. “I believe we get off in an hour don’t we?” He questions.
You look at your watch and give a nod. “If there’s no emergencies.”
“Will you still let me buy you a drink? Even if still in your scrubs?” He questions.
You give him a look, “I have street clothes, Mr. Hiddleston.” You’d been thinking about his request since he asked you and really you weren’t sure if you should agree to it. It felt like you’d been waging a one man war on him when he wasn’t even aware there was a battle to begin with. “Yeah, if you’re willing to wait for me to change after I clock out.” He grins and kisses your cheek still holding your hand. “Uh . . . rounds?” You remind him feeling a little funny about stealing away in a closet with him on more than one occasion today, God you really hoped no one noticed. Taking your hand back carefully you open the door and he follows you back out into the hallway.
You grab your bag and sling it across your shoulder. You hadn't planned on going out after your shift so you were in jeans and a tee from the last 5K you did.
Tom waited for you at the nurse's station. You repressed the sigh. Great. Now the entire wing would gossip all night and there'd be rumors tomorrow.
"Ready?"
"Yea. There's a bar just off campus that has fantastic pretzel fries and Guinness on tap."
"Sounds wonderful."
Maggie grins at her computer screen. "Hot date, Nurse Ratchet?"
"Oh fuck." You grin and flip her off. Taking Tom's arm in your hand, you steer him toward the elevator.
"Something wrong?" Tom frowns.
"We're just lucky it was only Maggie at the desk. Good thing she's my friend."
"Why's that?"
"We're going out for a drink. We've been in the records room twice together. You do the math."
"You're worried they'll think something elicit is going on."
"Bingo, Ringo."
He laughs. "Am I so hideous that you wouldn't want something elicit to happen?"
The elevator doors open. You two ride down to the lobby. You make sure to keep your distance. "No, Tom, you're not. And you know that." You walk to your car. "It's nice enough that we'll walk."
"That will give me time to pick your brain."
"For?"
"Why did you become a nurse?"
You walk side by side through the parking lot. "I was a sick kid. Born premature with a bad heart and low lung function. I was in and out of the children's hospital most of my life. My parents worked and I had an older brother and eventually a younger brother that they had to raise. So when I'd have to be admitted for more than a day or two, the nurses got me through it. The doctors dictated testing and care but the nurses cared for me. I had some really great ones."
"And you wanted to do that for another child."
"Exactly."
Tom opens the door to the bar and waves you in ahead of him. He has noticed you're attractive and those jeans flatter your behind and legs.
"Did you want to be an actor as a kid?" You slid into a table. The pleasant evening air and the walk over has increased your appetite. "I'm suddenly starving. "
"Me too. You guys walk alot. If I had known that, I wouldn't have gone for a run this morning."
"You're a runner?"
"Oh yes. You?"
"No, I'm a cyclist."
The waitress takes your drink and appetizer orders. "Back to my first question. Did you always want to be an actor?"
Tom's eyes light up as he answers you. "No, not as a child. I just liked making people laugh. And then I found Shakespeare, and I fell in love with it at thirteen. And I wanted to bring life to those characters. I saw what Leonardo DiCaprio did in Romeo and Juliet, and I was mesmerized- the colors, the settings, the everything."
As he tells you more, you couldn't help but watch him. His hands moving all around telling his story, his face expressing everything with emotion. And somehow he kept that enthusiasm up all night, even when listening to you as he asked you questions. The two of you talked about everything- being middle children, what made you wait up in the morning, his favorite kind of tea, your favorite kind of chocolate. "To be fair, all chocolate is the best kind of chocolate," he says to you.
You sat there with him for almost two hours, before looking at your watch and deciding, "Tom, it's almost 9pm, I've got to get into bed soon if I'm expected to be functional in the morning." He nodded at you, and added, "That's probably a good idea. I'm guessing I should do the same."
"You should if you want to survive day two!" You laughed at him. The server brings the checks around and you settle up, and grab your bag and walk out of the bar back toward the hospital.
As you walk back to your car, you felt Tom looking at you with a bit more intensity. You looked back up at him and inquired, "What? What are you looking at?" with a smile on your face. "Nothing, darling," he grinned back. You faced forward again, but kept an eye on him with a small grin. He walked you back to your car, and you unlocked it and threw your bag into the passenger seat.
"I liked this." Tom said to you. You paused getting into the driver's seat at his words. You smiled and bit your lip. "I did too. Thank you." After a moment, you broke the silence with a quiet, "I'll see you in the morning, Tom." "Bright and early," he responded as you slid into your seat. He pushed your door shut and waved one final time before you started the ignition and he walked back inside to wait for the ride to his hotel.
Twelve hours ago you were rolling your eyes and sighing at the thought of this stranger following you around, interfering with your patients. Now you couldn't quite get the way he looked at you out of your head. You shook it to try and remove the thought, but it wasn't quite working. You sighed again, and pulled out of the parking lot for home.
The next morning as Tom rode up the elevator with several of the other nursing staff, they seemed to be talking amongst themselves and starring at him. To be honest, he was getting used to that kind of behavior since the Avengers took off. But this wasn’t so much being awe struck by seeing a movie star mumbling so much as hot gossip muttering. One of the girls said something and all of them started to giggle. He arched a brow as the car opened and everyone got off.
Going to his locker that he’d been given for his time there he put his things away and pulled his scrubs on. “Woh.” One of the male nurses said coming in with two others. “There’s the guy who likes a challenge. Never thought anyone could get under Nurse Hardass’s skin.”
“Sorry?” Tom said not quite understanding. “Nurse who?” They just seemed to laugh amongst themselves and go on about their business. “This is starting to seem somewhat like primary school.” Tom said arching a brow closing his locker.
Tom stood at the nurse’s station patiently waiting for you. It seems you had gotten there early and had already started rounds. There were still individuals starring at him as they passed and then talking of him as soon as they were out of ear shot. It was all very strange.
When you came around the corner Tom arched his brows seeing how lovely you looked this morning. Your hair was done beautifully, and it seemed your cheeks were positively glowing. “Good morning.” You say with a small smile.
“And a very good morning to you lovely lady.” He says smiling back.
“Don’t get cute, we’ve got work.” You say handing him the chart clipboard. “Come on. Rounds.” You turn and he quickly follows after you.
"You've already done a couple?" Tom asks after examining the clipboard. "I have, I got here earlier than normal. The traffic wasn't as bad as usual for some reason," you replied. You came to a stop in front of Jacob's room, and Tom's eyes get a little brighter. "Oh, you haven't done Jacob yet?" he asked with a smile. "Tom, do you really think I'd be so dense as to check on Jacob without you with me? That little boy would refuse to speak to me, I'm sure," you said with a laugh.
The two of you slipped your masks on as you entered the room and saw Jacob sitting up in the bed playing with his Thor action figure. "Good morning, Jacob," you greeted him as he looked up to you from his spot. "Good morning Nurse Ka- TOM! You're back!!" he exclaimed
“Hey there sport!” Tom said going over to the side of the bed. “Are you feeling better today?”
“Yes, much. I had jello this morning.” He reported proudly.
“It stayed down?” You ask as you begin to check his vitals taking his pulse.
“Yes.” He says to you simply before looking back at Tom, “Did you bring him? Did you bring your Loki action figure?” He asks anxiously.
“Actually I have, he’s in my locker. I thought if you were feeling alright I could bring him to play at lunch?” He questions glancing at you. You give a nod letting him know that Jacob’s vitals were good and if he was eating food that was staying down there was no reason he couldn’t.
“That’s great! I wanted to get a Loki too but the stores are always sold out of him.” Jacob admitted straightening Thor’s cape.
“Really?” Tom says with an ‘ehehehehe’. You give him a look and he clears his throat looking back at Jacob.
“You’re looking pretty good today Jacob.” You report taking off your stethoscope putting it around your neck. “We’ll see about getting you something more substantial then Jello, and see how to go from there. Alright?”
You make a few notes in his chart before you start to turn to leave. Instantly Jacob frowns looking at Tom, “Are you going already?”
“I’ve got to, but I’ll be back at lunch break, I promise.” Tom says sincerely. Jacob smiles and nods. Tom follows you back into the hallway hurrying to keep step with you. “Is he really doing better?” He questioned.
“Yes.” You say with a nod, “His blood count is up a bit this morning which is a good sign and he hasn’t vomited since yesterday.”
Tom grins, “That’s wonderful.”
The two of you walk for a few moments before you could hardly stand it anymore and had to say it, “You really have a doll of yourself in your locker? Really?”
“He asked me to bring it. I have the full set from each movie but he insisted on the Loki from the dark world. Apparently he thinks the horns are silliness personified.” He admits.
“Well isn’t that the main consensus of anyone who sees them?” You question. “They don’t even make Thor wear a helmet for more than like . . . . a minute in the first movie.”
He arches his brows, “You’ve seen them then?” He questioned. “The movies?”
“Yes. Jacob has run them nonstop. The entire floor is very familiar with Thor and the rest of his gang.” You say with a sigh. “This kid would run rings around Marvel’s PR department.”
Tom can't help himself once he'd found out you'd seen the movies. "So, what did you think? Do you like them?" he asked. You looked up at him with a small smile. "Yes...I did enjoy them," you admit a little reluctantly. Tom's questioning face turned up into a grin and he continued, "You did? Did you watch them with Jacob, is that how you saw them?" You closed your eyes in a small twinge of embarrassment, and nodded. Tom only grinned wider at the thought of the scene, and took hold of you by your upper arms. "I'm so glad you liked it, really, I am," he told you.
You couldn't help but smile at him- he was grinning like an idiot at your confession. "Stop it, it's not a big deal," you stammered. "It's a very big deal to me...you liked my movie, my character. The one I got to build from the ground up." "I couldn't very well tell Jacob 'no', not that night when he asked me."
"What do you mean?" Tom asked. Your mind traveled to that evening as you told Tom the story.
"Well...it was a few months ago. Jacob had been admitted for a round of chemo, and things had gotten particularly ugly between his parents the night before. You remember me telling you how his dad left?" Tom nodded. "Well, his sister were at friends' houses, his mother was working a double shift, and his father was God-Knows-Where. He had just gotten the first Thor for his birthday, and he wanted to watch it with someone....but there wasn't anyone. It's all he wanted. All that little boy wanted was a friend to watch his favorite movie with him. So, when my shift ended, I stayed and watched it with him. And he was so happy, Tom. I wish you could have seen it," you finish as you look up to him.
Tom had a hand over his chest and a quiet smile on his face. You waved your hand through the space between you, as if to wave the story away and said, "Anyway, it's not a big deal. Like I said, these are my patients. And I would do whatever I could for them." "On the contrary, I think it's a very big deal, darling. I don't know many people who would do something like that," Tom argued as he took your hands. "Thank you. You have no idea what it means to me that you liked my performance. Truly."
You squeeze his hands back and respond with a very sincere, "You're welcome," and a smile. At this rate with the amount of smiling you had some over the last 36 hours, you were going to look like you had started sleeping with a hanger in your mouth.
The break room happened to be full when you went on lunch. The intense, excited chatter ceased the moment you opened the door. You look back out it to make sure that Tom disappears into Jacob's room.
You close it then place your hands on your hips.
"Look. We have to work together after he leaves." You jerk your thumb in the direction of Jacob's room. "Don't let some Hollywood actor make you forget that we are coworkers. So knock off the gossip."
"But you did go out with him?"
"We went for a drink last night."
"Any other plans?"
"Other than being nice? No."
You grab your sandwich and your yogurt from the fridge. You leave your coworkers in the room and make your way outside to eat your lunch in the sun
Later that evening you’re sitting at the nurses station updating some of the logs for the day when Tom comes around the corner, “Hey, hey, hey.” He says excitedly holding his phone in his hand leaning over the counter, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
You arch a brow looking up at him, “Sure.”
“No, I mean in private.” He says motioning towards the door.
You glance over to the other nurses whose ears were perked trying to act like they weren’t listening. “Why?” His smile fades a little bit looking towards the other nurses who immediately went back to work.
“I guess . . . . well I guess it could wait until we clock out.” He says with a disappointed hung puppy dog look. You sigh putting your pen down standing and going into the records room as his smile returns and he hurries in after you closing the door.
“Oh, you better have won the lottery.” You warn him crossing your arms.
“Even better.” He holds up his phone showing it to you, “I haven’t brought it to the hospital yet, or told anyone else. I wanted to bring it to you first because I didn’t want you to feel like I was going around you or anything, and I didn’t want to spring it on you at the last minute . . . . .”
You hold up your hand to stop his raving and he quiets, “What is it?”
A bright smile sweeps his face and he takes a breath to settle down somewhat, “I just got off the phone with the production people at Marvel, after having already talked to Chris Hemsworth . . .” You just stare at him for a moment, “My co-star, Thor. The blonde muscle one.”
“Seen the movie, got it.” You say wanting to know where this was going.
“Well, he’s willing to fly out here and the production company says they’ll allow us brief use of our Dark World costumes, and I thought it would be pretty neat for Jacob and the rest of the pediatric wing if Thor and Loki came and paid them a short visit.” He says, “And maybe Lady Sif, Jaimie hasn’t gotten back to me yet she had to check her schedule.” You just stare at him in silence. After a minute he’s a little unnerved by your silence not able to read your expression. “Don’t you think it’s a good idea?”
“Immune systems, Tom. Having camera crews and media tromping through here . . . . .” You begin but he shakes his head.
“No, no, no. Because it’s just us, and we’re just doing it, it’s part of the deal that no one knows about it except those involved. Marvel can be very strict which is why I’m amazed they’re allowing us use of our costumes. No media, no cameras. It’s not a promotional opportunity; it’s just for the kids and their families if they wish.” He says quickly. “I understand they’re stick, so does Chris. We don’t want to make it worse, we just . . . . I thought it would be something nice for them. Special.”
You give a slight nod, “It would be special for them.” You admit knowing that Jacob would be absolutely on cloud nine.
“Do you think the hospital will go for it?” He asks.
“Tom, look around. They haven’t said no to you or your production company yet, have they?”
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