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In Love And Death	By : VenusMoon Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 1741 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Bert stood with his hands stuffed in his pockets, watching his friends record the last song for their album. When Quinn found out they still had recording to finish, he insisted on coming along to watch, and naturally Bert and Jeph joined him.
Bert couldn't take his eyes off Gerard as he helped Mikey tune his bass. His long hair was falling in his face as he leaned over the instrument, and he kept tossing his head to get it out of the way-something Bert knew Gerard did completely out of habit, but he looked so sexy doing it one would swear the move was calculated. He saw Gerard smile at something Mikey said, and an unexpected wave of longing washed over him. It was the first genuine smile Bert had seen on Gerard's face since the beginning of Warped Tour. He allowed himself a moment to wonder if Gerard had actually sobered up for good before the sound of Gerard clearing his throat to get everyone's attention brought him back to reality.
"So, Mikey and I have been thinking... since this song is still untitled, we thought we could call it 'Helena.'"
Everyone nodded in agreement, their faces showing that their minds had traveled back to that horrible night when Gerard and Mikey's grandmother passed away.
"Good idea, Gee," Frankie said, pulling his friend into a quick hug.
Bert felt a tiny pang of sadness and guilt at the thought of him not being there for Gerard when it happened, but he quickly pushed it aside as the band started playing. Bert lost himself in the song, closing his eyes as he allowed the almost palpable sense of pain and loss in Gerard's voice wash over him. As the song built toward its climax, Bert felt goose bumps sprinkle across his arms and neck. If this song was affecting him this much, he couldn't wait to hear what else was on the album. As they finished their first run-through, Bert felt Quinn's arm fall across his shoulder. He turned to see him studying his face knowingly as his mouth curved into a tiny hint of a smile.
"What?" Bert asked, unable to figure out why his best friend was staring at him like he knew some great secret. Quinn smiled wider.
"Oh, nothing. But, you know that song was written before his grandmother died, right?"
Bert's eyes widened in realization and he blinked, taken aback. He looked back at Gerard and felt hot tears sting his eyes. So, Bert wasn't the only one to use his band's sophomore album to exorcise Warped Tour demons. He quickly left the room before anyone could see the tears that were threatening to fall.
************** Gerard grabbed yet another case of beer out of the back seat and headed inside. He searched for room in the refrigerator before giving up and heading to the living room where the rest of the intoxicated musicians were gathered.
"Why is it I'm always stuck toting around the alcohol when I don't even drink anymore?" he asked, trying desperately to sound angry.
"Because you love us so much," Mikey giggled, blowing his brother a kiss. Gerard laughed and rolled his eyes as he dropped into his chair.
"Well, as accurate as that statement is," he said as he kicked off his shoes, "that was my last beer run of the night." The entire room laughed at Gerard's serious tone. "I mean it, you bunch of fucking lushes." He winked at Bert, earning a grin in response.
"Whatever you say," Frankie grinned, cranking up the stereo.
The band had officially finished recording Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, and since it was the last night The Used would be in New Jersey, it seemed only logical to have a big ass party. Gerard watched the people he cared about laughing and drinking together, and he smiled. He hadn't felt this content with the state of his life in a long time. There was only one thing missing, and he vowed to win Bert back, he just had no idea how to do it.
The shrill sound of a phone ringing filtered through the mind-numbingly loud Best of David Bowie cd Frankie had cranked up broke Gerard's reverie, and he disappeared into the kitchen to answer it. Bert followed him, as his cell phone had started to ring as well.
"Hello?" They both answered at the same time. They stood in silence, their eyes meeting as their managers told them the news. They grinned at each other when they realized they'd just gotten the same phone call.
"Hang on, let me get the rest of the guys," Gerard said, holding the phone against his chest as he waited for Bert to mutter something similar. Gerard grabbed Bert by the arm and pulled him into the living room.
"Hey, turn that down for a minute," he yelled over the music. Frankie grabbed the remote and hit pause.
"What's up," he asked, obviously wondering why Bert and Gerard were both holding phones and grinning at everyone like a couple announcing their engagement.
"The powers that be want us to headline a winter tour together with Killswitch Engage," Gerard screamed, jumping up and down like a twelve-year-old girl.
"Holy shit! Did you tell them yes?" Frankie asked, leaping from his seat.
"Now we will," Bert replied, grinning as Quinn pulled him into an enthusiastic hug.
They told their managers everyone was in agreement as cheers, hugs, and not too few kisses where passed around.
"Oh my God, we have to call Branden," Jeph said over the noise.
"Oh my God, we have to call Mom," Mikey and Gerard said in unison before collapsing in giggles.
"But first," Frankie said as he disappeared into the kitchen, returning with an armload of glasses and a bottle of champagne.
"We have champagne?" Mikey asked, cocking his head to the side like a confused puppy.
Gerard giggled at his brother's expression before replying. "Remember? It came in that gift basket the record company sent."
"Oh yeah." Mikey took the glass Frankie was offering. Gerard looked at Frankie like he'd sprouted an extra head when he waved a glass in front of him.
"Dude, it's a celebration. I think you can handle one glass of champagne." He shoved the glass into Gerard's hand. Gerard stared at it like it was a loaded gun. His head snapped up as Frankie cleared his throat and raised his glass.
"To another six months on the road with best friends."
"To Bert, for being one hell of a screamer," Quinn added, giggling as Bert blushed.
Gerard smiled, delighted to see that not all of Bert's bashfulness was gone, and raised his glass. "To my friends and brothers, for helping me get sober and for creating such a kick-ass album." Everyone fell silent and smiled at Gerard. He wasn't usually this sentimental.
"To Gerard," Bert said, catching his eye and smiling warmly. "For coming back to us. We missed you, Gee." He kept his eyes locked with Gerard's, causing a lump to jump into Gerard's throat.
"To Gerard," everyone chorused, draining their glasses.
Gerard was a little stunned by Bert's words, but he managed to hide it as more hugs were passed around.
"Okay, enough of this mushy shit," Jeph said, grabbing the remote. "Let's really celebrate." He pushed play, grabbing another beer as David Bowie's voice blasted through the house again. When the famous duet with Queen came on everyone started singing along, laughing as Bert launched into a Ziggy Stardust impression.
"We should do this," Bert called over the music, glancing at Gerard who was still singing along.
"Do what?" Gerard asked.
"This!" Bert squeaked, gesturing to the speakers. "This song. We should sing it together on the tour."
"That would kick so much ass," Mikey chimed, clapping his hands together.
"Not for you," Jeph teased. "I'm playing that baseline."
Mikey smacked him with a pillow and folded his arms across his chest, pretending to pout. Jeph chuckled and pulled him into a hug, kissing the top of his head.
"Okay, we're so going to," Gerard said, grinning at Bert.
Bert let out a 'woohoo' and pumped his fist as he jumped around the room. "Let's practice again!" He pushed the back button, starting the song over. Everyone laughed as Jeph pretended to be playing the bass while Bert and Gerard sang the two parts.
********** Gerard sighed as he walked around the living room, gathering beer bottles and dropping them into a trash bag. It really sucked being the only sober one at a party. They were always stuck cleaning up. Quinn and Frankie had gone upstairs an hour ago, claiming they were tired. Everyone knew it would be a long time before either of them got any sleep. Gerard giggled as Jeph let out a loud snore. He was curled up on the couch with Mikey, their arms wrapped around each other as Mikey drooled on Jeph's shirt. Bert had stepped outside when his cell phone rang for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. At least it had been Branden calling back the first time. This time Gerard knew it was Kelly. She always seemed to call just when he was starting to believe he had a chance of getting Bert back, when it seemed like both of them were only remembering the happiness they'd shared instead of the pain.
After he'd disposed of the last beer bottle and empty pizza box, he dropped into his chair and turned on the TV. He settled on Nick at Nite as his mind was once again filled with images of Bert with Kelly. He was overjoyed about touring with him again, but apprehensive as well. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to see him every day for that long, as hard as this three-week visit had been. Gerard jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Bert giggled. "I thought you were asleep."
Gerard smiled up at him. "Yeah right. When have you ever known me to fall asleep before 5 am?"
Bert grinned back and took a seat on the chair arm. "I'm glad you're awake. I wanted to ask you something."
Gerard turned toward Bert, suddenly uncomfortable. He wasn't used to having Bert this close to him anymore.
"Do you think we'll be okay, touring together again?"
Gerard sighed and looked at his hands. He really didn't know how to answer that, since his mind was endlessly repeating the same question.
"Umm... I think we'll be fine. I mean, we're friends now, right?" He looked up at Bert, who nodded. "It'll be fun, all of us hanging out again."
Bert looked at the floor, his face unusually sad. "Yeah. I'm glad we're able to be friends. I missed just being able to talk to you. It took me a long time to figure out why I was so sad after we broke up," he paused, looking back up at Gerard. "Then I realized I'd lost the best friend I ever had."
Gerard's eyes welled up. "I know what you mean." He sent Bert a warm smile as he stood up. "Well, I think I'm going to bed." He turned away, hoping to make it to his room before the tears started.
"Wait..." Bert touched his arm, stopping him.
"Yeah," Gerard said without turning around.
Bert wrapped his arms around Gerard's neck and stepped around to pull him into a proper hug. Gerard took a deep breath, reveling in Bert's scent as he willed his tears not to fall. He slowly wrapped his arms around his love and fought the urge to press his lips to Bert's.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when your grandmother died," Bert whispered as he clung to Gerard. "I never wanted to give up... I-I'm sorry, Gee..."
"No baby," Gerard said, pulling back to look into Bert's eyes. "I'm the one who's sorry." He turned toward the stairs, unable to meet the longing in his eyes as he said his next words. "Goodnight Bert. Tell Kelly I said 'hi.'"
Bert watched Gerard with tear-filled eyes until he'd almost reached the top stair before an overwhelming compulsion caused him to speak.
"I wish things were different."
Gerard winced as the words stabbed through him and he turned around.
"You don't know how often I've told myself the same thing." He smiled, hoping to lighten the burden he could see settling on Bert's heart. Bert smiled back, more with his eyes than his lips.
"Maybe they will be one day." It was more a question than a statement. It made Bert sound like a child begging for reassurance.
"Maybe," Gerard replied, sending Bert another smile, a real one this time. "Goodnight, kid."
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In Love And Death