The Small Hours | By : lunavin Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Metallica Views: 2952 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Metallica. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
"The new album cover is the closed fist which represents us," Lars told Carson Daily. "People have been calling us that for years, and when our design team came up with the idea of making it the cover we were all for it. We've gotten a lot of criticism through the years on our music, the whole Napster thing, the symphony. But we've pulled through it together and Metallica's been around for almost 20 years now. The album cover is about how committed we are to each other and just playing the music we all love."
Metallica was promoting their new album titled St. Anger. They were being interviewed by MTV TRL and although all four members were present, Lars' mouth reigned supreme.
All four members were standing in the show’s set right in front of the window that overlooked New York City. The fans were cheering on the show; the fans below on the street could be seen holding signs in support.
Kirk was standing next to Lars, his hair already grown back. He hadn't wanted to cut it in the first place, but when Jason explained he'd cut it cause it was all burned out, Kirk had to see his point and cut it with the vow that he'd take better care of it when it grew out again.
Then was James, who hated doing interviews, but as the lead singer could never get out of it. He always thanked his luck he had hooked up with a drummer with such a big mouth. Jason stood next to him, with his characteristic smile and occasional outburst of energy.
"Some people have mentioned that the new CD is a big break from what you guys normally do. Am I right that and Kirk doesn't even have any guitar solos in it? How do you respond to that?" Carson asked.
"Well, people started criticizing us back when we released Load and we still went platinum and sold out a bunch of stadiums, right?," Lars answered. "With everything you put out there's going to be those people who criticize it, but I don't think this album is that far of a stretch for us. It's still a heavy sound and I think everyone should just give Kirk a break with the guitar solos. There's no law anywhere that says you need a guitar solo to have a good song. Besides, we all know Kirk can play and in every show on every tour he has guitar solos and we play all our old songs. Kirk will get plenty of time to do solos. This album is just a new way of us experimenting with the music and we're all real proud of it."
The crowd cheered at Lars words and the rest of the band clapped from where they stood next to him.
"Okay, so now we're going to open up the floor here, and some of your fans want to ask questions," Carson said.
Carson walked over and gave the mike to a young fan in an and Justice for All... t-shirt.
"Yeah," the guy said, "I was just going to ask why the record sounds nothing like the clips that were being passed around the internet. Did you guys purposely send out decoys to fool the people who try and pirate the music?"
"Actually, those clips had the sound we were originally going for," Kirk said. "It was real unpolished and gritty."
"We did go ahead and clean it up a bit later on when the songs got out on the net," Lars said. "I thought it sounded all right though the way it was."
"Man, I was completely off key," James said.
The crowd laughed.
"We wanted a less polished sound, and that's what we got in the end," Lars said.
"Nothing as gritty as a garage recording with a tape recorder, but something a little less produced than Load or even the black album," Jason said.
"Something that sounds on CD almost the same as if it were being played live," Kirk said.
"Okay," Carson said. "Who else has a question for Metallica?"
Carson handed the mike to another guy wearing a black hoodie and a Metallica beanie.
"Hey, guys, love the new album," he started, "I just wanted to ask when are you guys going back on tour?"
The crowd cheered.
"That's going to happen pretty soon," Lars said. "Our tour manager is already working on it and we've almost got everything worked out. It's going to be another long one. I don't know if anyone's noticed, but we love being on the road."
The crowd laughed.
"Can you play ‘Orion’?" the same guy asked.
The crowd cheered.
James stole a glance at Jason. "Orion" was a song they had never played live with Jason, not all the way through. The band had always considered it Cliff's song. The fact that they didn't play it all the way through on the Load and re-Load tour was not a diss to Jason. At some point they had just stopped playing the instrumentals live.
"We always play parts of the instrumentals live in our solos," Kirk said. "But I suppose if everyone wants it we can find it in our hearts to perform it live at least once all the way through."
"Yeah, we'll have to record it on video," Lars said.
Jason felt James’ eyes on him and looked back over at him with a genuine smile. James smiled back.
"Okay, anyone else has a question?" Carson looked around and handed the mike to a girl wearing a modified Metallica "Sad But True" shirt.
"So speaking of 'Orion'," she said with a little smile, "which of course means thinking of Cliff Burton, I don't see James wearing Cliff's ring or chain anymore. I was wondering if there was a reason why?"
James smiled in his nervousness. "I locked up the wolf pendant now, I'm really afraid of losing it somewhere and it's a miracle I haven't already. There's no clasp on that thing, I just knot it together."
"And the ring?" the girl asked.
"Um, I have that," Jason spoke up. He held up his right hand to show the skull ring nestled on his middle finger.
Lars had given Jason a big “I told you so" speech when they had come in to work two days after getting together. And Jason had to just stand and nod and take it. Lord forbid Jason interrupted Lars, he'd lose his momentum, and then start all over.
Kirk had congratulated them. To this day he still stared at the two of them sometimes in disbelief, but always with a wistful smile.
James and Jason had never moved in together officially. They didn’t want the possible scrutiny from the press. But their neighbors were thankfully discreet or just didn't give a damn what the guys did as long as it didn't bother them. Anyhow, they had rarely spent a night apart in all the years. On the Load and re-Load tours they had always booked rooms with adjoining doors. After making sure to mess up the one hotel room bed, one would sneak into the adjoining room and slip into bed with the other.
They didn't actually remember what date it was they had ended up on Jason's living room floor after that night of pool and Exodus, but they had narrowed it down to a particular week. It wasn't until the second year that they even started celebrating an anniversary anyway.
On their fifth year anniversary in 2001, James took Jason to the same bar they had been at when they got together. After a few rounds of pool and beer, they had also revisited what happened on Jason's couch.
"We could do this every year," James had whispered in Jason's ear afterwards.
"I could live with that," Jason grinned.
"I'm being for real, Jase," James said seriously.
"Me too," Jason replied. "Wait, what do you mean?"
"I could do this every year," James said again. He moved on to his side and raised himself with his arm to look over Jason. "I don't mean having sex over the arm of the couch, although we could do that too if you wanted."
"So then what do you mean," Jason asked. He looked up at James with confusion, but also with trust and with love, and that's what made James irrevocably positive about what he wanted to say next.
"I mean us, together, every year, every day," James said. "I know that’s the way we’ve been living, but I wanted to say it."
"Oh, well, yeah, James. I wasn't thinking of this as a trial run," Jason said with a smile. "I love you."
James smiled. "I love you too."
James leaned down and gave Jason a few chaste kisses.
"I have something for you then, but I'm afraid you'll freak out and take it the wrong way," James said.
Jason gave him a quizzical look. "Tell me you didn't buy a wedding band."
James laughed. "No, not exactly."
"Oh, god," Jason laughed.
James grabbed his jeans off the floor and reached into the pocket and pulled out a ring. He held it up to Jason in between his fingers.
"Oh, my god," Jason breathed when he saw what James was holding. "That's not what I think it is, is it?"
"It's not Cliff's ring, if that's what you're thinking."
"Then what is it?"
"This is the ring that Cliff gave me," James explained. "People think of it as Cliff's ring, but that's not the real story. Cliff gave me this ring, a few months before he died, when we realized that we weren't just fooling around anymore, and what we had was real."
"And you're giving it to me? Why?" Jason could feel his eyes starting to water. He could see how this could be easily taken the wrong way, but James had warned him not to. Still, his guard had been down, as it usually was now in the presence of the Mighty Het, and he was having a sudden flash of that first year with the band. He tried to calm himself down, tried to trust in James.
"I thought about getting you your own ring, I did. And if that's what you prefer, I'll understand. But I want you to keep this anyway, even if you don't wear it, because this ring means so god damn much to me," James gazed at the ring. "I use to look at it and think of Cliff and all that I had lost. But for years now, I look at it and think of you. This ring has so much history, and so much love, and right now all my love is you."
"Fuck, James," Jason choked out.
"I hope you don't think it's me trying to make you be Cliff or anything. I'll always feel love for Cliff. But that's my past," James looked back at Jason, "you're here with me now, and I want to be with you for the future, too. And this ring says all that. That's what I think when I look at it."
Jason grabbed the ring slowly from James.
"Where do I wear it?"
"Wherever it fits," James shrugged. "It's not like I ever wore it on my ring finger on my left hand."
"Too conspicuous?"
"Yeah, back then that's how I felt. It's a skull which is only romantic in heavy metal I guess," James laughed a bit. "But you just wear it wherever it fits. If it's the wedding ring finger then so be it."
Jason tried it on various fingers and decided it fit best on his right hand middle finger. It wasn't too bad on the left hand, but a little too loose and Jason didn't want it slipping off. He stared at it for a second; the feeling was kind of cathartic. There was no doubt in Jason’s mind this was the most important piece of jewelry in James’ small collection, and that he had given it to Jason said a lot. James didn’t want to give him a random meaningless ring, he gave what he loved most.
"Thank you," Jason said. "I get it. I love it."
James smiled then before leaning down to kiss Jason again and wrapping himself around him.
The crowd didn't really know how to react to Jason’s proclamation, and it was a few moments of silence before Carson stepped in to avoid dead air. The rest of Metallica was unfazed, but of course that's because they already knew. Perhaps Carson Daily knew a little Metallica history and was equally speechless at Cliff's ring on Jason's finger.
"Okay, I want to thank the guys from Metallica for joining us today," Carson said to them and then turned to the camera, "we'll be right back with the rest of the countdown."
The crowd clapped and Metallica joined in as the show faded into a commercial.
____________________________________
The band was sitting in a limo on the way to the airport after the TRL show. It was time to head to LA for some more promotional work before starting the tour.
"Wake me when we're there," Kirk sighed and dropped his head on Lars lap.
"I think that went well," Lars said.
"Nothing could be worse than the press for Load," James said.
"As long as the CD sells it means someone out there likes it," Lars mused. "When the Stones tour I think it's been studied that only half of the people at the shows own anything new they put out. People just go to hear their favorite old songs being played."
"That's not very comforting," Jason quipped.
The band laughed, even Kirk who was laying sprawled on the seat in front of James and Jason.
"Don't laugh, man," Lars said. "You're vibrating on my lap."
"Ooh," Kirk said."You wanna do it here or on the plane?"
"For the love of god wait until you get on the plane," James said.
"I'm just teasing him," Kirk said.
"They know," Lars said. He ran a hand through Kirk's hair. Kirk and him were not a couple, not like James and Jason were, but after almost two decades, every once in awhile, they ended up in bed together. It was a comforting thought to know that no matter what he and Kirk may have been doing in their personal lives, they could still find comfort in each other if they needed it.
"Hey, what was up with that girl asking about your ring," Kirk said. "Did you notice everyone went dead quiet when you showed them, Jase."
"Can't blame them for being shocked," Jason said. He looked at the ring on his finger. "I am too sometimes."
James intertwined his left hand with Jason's right and gave him a light squeeze. The skull ring brushed against the ring on James' finger; a silver band with the Metallica logo on it. Jason had given it to him on their sixth anniversary, "so I don’t feel like someone's bitch," he said. James had laughed and slipped it on.
"Whatever man," Lars said. "We're the closed fist. It's us against the world."
The rest of the way was made with small talk about the upcoming tour. JFK airport was coming in to view through the limo window. James looked down at his hand intertwined with Jason's, a closed fist, and smiled.
THE END
Author's note: I might or might not go back and do Interludes. But the story itself is finished. I hope you enjoyed.
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