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All We Are is Memories	By : Berlin Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Avenged Sevenfold Views: 1159 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Avenged Sevenfold. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
November 19, 1999

Something horribly, horribly bright hit me right in the eye. Grumbling, I rolled over and tried to ignore it, but it was still there - I could see it, it was taunting me, haunting me, forcing me to wake up. Finally, I relented, extracting myself from Jimmy's arms and stretching my own above my head, slowly cracking my eyes open.
The first thing I saw was Johnny, sitting precariously on the footboard of the bed, smiling like a joker.
"Johnny!" I yelped, shocked to see him sitting there... so awake... with that creepy smile on his face.
"Faith..." he trailed off.
"Johnny..."
This was indeed the strangest conversation I had ever had with my dear step-brother. So strange in fact, that I shook Jimmy, forcing him to wake up. "Mmph... mornin'," he mumbled, voice scratchy (but very, very attractive).
"Good mornin' sweetheart," Johnny chirped at Jimmy, causing him to shoot up out of the bed, stumbling over his feet and his words.
Ok... a six-foot, god knows how many inches, 18-year-old man, is afraid of my 5'5", 15-year-old little brother??
"Oh shut it, Sullivan. I just want to know exactly what your intentions are with my sister here."
"Johnny," I hissed, my face reddening as I, nonetheless, stood up to stand next to Jimmy. A unified front.
He jumped on the bed, literally giggling like a hyena. He scared me. "Aww, don't worry, big sis. I think it's cuuuute! Just don't fuck her over Jimmy, or I'll kill you. I don't care if you're like 13-feet taller than me. I'll kill you man."
Is he drunk?
"Are you drunk, dude?" Jimmy asked, looking between Johnny and me.
"Drunk on love!"
"Ok, well..." I said, backing towards the door of the bedroom, "I'm going to go take a shower and, yeah..."
A long, very long, shower later and I was cautiously walking down the stairs, afraid of what was going to happen next in an already very odd day.
As typical, Matt, Brian and Zack were at the Sullivan's house, raiding the refrigerator. After making myself a Pop-Tart, I took a seat at the breakfast bar and listened (well, only partly) to the boys' conversation. Something about a 'gig' next weekend in Los Angeles. It sounded big - bigger than any other show they had ever played. I could tell Johnny was nervous; it was going to be his first time playing with the guys and his first time playing in a real band. I smiled reassuringly at him. "You gonna be there, Faith?"
"Yeah right!" I chuckled. Rock concerts were definitely not my thing.
"What do you mean you're not going?" a voice that I identified as belonging to Jimmy as soon as its owner reached down and kissed the top of my head, its arms wrapped around my waist, asked.
"What the hell was that dude?" Matt practically shouted, dropping his glass into the sink.
"Huh?"
"What the fuck do you mean, 'huh'? The kissing, the cuddling, the closeness of proximity and... shit! Are you fucking kidding me?"
My eyes narrowed as Matt paced the room, fuming. He acted as if Jimmy and I were something repulsive.
"What do you care, Matt?" Jimmy hissed, his arms tightening around me.
"Because I think it's fucked up, that's what I care!"
"Well guess what, we don't really care what the fuck you think. It's none of your goddamn business!"
"Ok, ok guys," Zack intervened, jumping up and physically standing in between Matt and Jimmy and I. "Matt, it's none of your business and Jimmy, I think it's just so darned sweet!"
"Shove it, Zacky."
Everyone could tell that Jimmy and Zack were joking but I was still more than a little relieved when Johnny spoke up and suggested that they all move into the basement to practice for the show. He was eager to try out his birthday present.
Jimmy's hand stayed tightly wrapped around mine and as a result, I ended up attending my very first practice is Avenged Sevenfold. It was... interesting. Definitely not my style of music, but it was actually kind of exciting to see Johnny and Jimmy play. And for the sake of all of them, I sincerely hoped that most people weren't like me and really enjoyed their music. Being in a band was their dream and I really did hope that it came true.
+++
December 1, 1999
By the time the weekend of the boys' show arrived, I had been persuaded to attend. I still didn't want to go, but it was impossible to stand up to Johnny's begging. After I first said I wasn't planning on going, Jimmy didn't saw another word to me about it. It kind of hurt, in a way. Maybe I was being silly but, didn't he want me to go? Or was he embarrassed of me or something? I'm not exactly what people picture someone like Jimmy dating, after all.
Nonetheless, I stood in the hallway bathroom, gazing at myself in the mirror with harsh scrutiny. I look horrible! What does one wear to a "rock concert" anyways? I always saw Johnny walk out with his normal clothes on. But my normal clothes... absolutely nothing like Johnny's. I smoothed my hair back into a ponytail. It seemed like a small, enclosed room full of people jumping around (or so I've heard they do) would get awfully hot. After staring at my closet for hours, I settled on a pair of jeans, a long-sleeved navy blue t-shirt with a white BYU t-shirt over it, and a pair of white flip-flops.
It seemed far from adequate, but I didn't know what else to do.
"Honey, you look adorable."
"Are you sure? I mean, I don't know what I'm supposed to wear. I've never been to a concert before. What do the other girls wear?" I stuttered, spitting out all of my building doubts. I wasn't quite so sure about going anymore. I hate new situations. They make me uncomfortable. And I hate feeling uncomfortable.
Kathy shrugged. "It doesn't matter what the other girls wear, does it? You're not the other girls. You're you and you like fine."
That means that my outfit was definitely not what the other girls wore.
"The only thing I'd recommend is tennis shoes instead of sandals. It's dark and there's lots of people so you're liable to get your foot stomped on."
Shoes - check. Somehow I still wasn't convinced of my ability to fit in with the crowd.
"Faith, don't worry so much darling!" Kathy implored, tucking a stray hair behind my hair with motherly love. "You will be fine. In fact, I think you just might have a little bit of fun."
"Yo, mom! You ready?? We gotta get going!" Jimmy yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
With a new fluttering in my stomach, I ran into the bedroom and exchanged my flip-flops for tennis shoes as Kathy went downstairs to make sure we were all set to leave.
"Hey you," a husky voice said as arms snaked around my sides to come together and settle on my stomach. "You ready to go?"
I put a strained smile on my face and turned around to look up at Jimmy. It wasn't strained because of him - in fact, seeing him always tended to put a smile on my face - it was because I was nervous. Nervous about the people who were going to be there, whether they'd like me, whether I'd like them... nervous about everything.
"Mmhmm," I nodded and muttered, hoping my reply came out more confidently than it sounded in my head.
He rubbed up and down my arms like he was trying to warm me up in the winter time. "You nervous?"
"Yeah," I finally admitted.
"Yeah, so am I."
Oh god, I'm a horrible girlfriend, aren't I? Not even a week into it and I'm already screwing it all up. How can I be so selfish? Gah. It's the biggest concert they've ever played and I'm sitting here, panicking about my outfit. "Oh, I'm so sorry Jimmy! I'm such a horrible girlfriend - I can't believe I'm being so selfish! You must be petrified! You guys have never played in front of so many people... I bet there's lots of record-type people going to be there too! And it's Johnny's first show with you guys too!"
"Wow, way to make the butterflies worse there, Faith."
"Err - sorry?"
He laughed lightly as a smile graced his face. His smile was beautiful. He doesn't do it often enough... although I'd like to think that he's showing it more often since I've been around. "No, no. It's fine. The butterflies make me play better."
"Really?"
"No, I was just trying to make you feel better."
I smacked him on the arm and he leans down to kiss me softly on the lips. "Did I tell you that I'm glad you're coming?"
"No, but you don't have to say it - I'm coming because I want to be there for you. And my brother."
After Kathy went over the last few instructions with the sitter that was staying with Ashley, the entire gang piled into the family's large conversion van, a small trailer attached to the back of it, filled with the boys' gear. The drive was longer than I thought it would be, but apparently the club was in downtown Los Angeles. And "downtown Los Angeles" apparently meant a big deal to the boys. Apparently you've made it big time in the local scene when you get to play in L.A. and not some little place in the suburbs. I wouldn't know, but this is what they all told me.
Thankfully, it was an all-ages show that night, or else I wouldn't have been allowed to even enter the building. I have to admit - the place was huge! Although then again, I wouldn't know otherwise seeing as this is the first "place" I've ever been too. Johnny stared at everything bug-eyed, feet firmly rooted in the ground. This was his first show. Ever. I think if I were him, I would be hung over a toilet, dry-heaving. Once we finally managed to pull him inside the door, he ran around the place like a... well, like the fifteen-year-old that he is.
I still couldn't fathom why four eighteen-year-olds - adults - wanted a child to play with him. I suppose that means he must be a very, very good bass player?
Jimmy left me at the edge of the stage to go help everyone unload the trailer and get their equipment set up. Looking around the club, I didn't see anything special about it. Actually, it looked pretty dingy. The floor was just cracked, stained cement, as were the walls. Except the walls had graffiti scribbled all over them. There were speakers and wires and electronic equipment all over the place. I had thought that there would be... seats or chairs... or, well, anything! Apparently you stand at concerts.
Finally, I came to the conclusion that it didn't really matter what the building looked like because the lights would be turned off soon enough and no one would be able to see the lack of interior design.
Employees were milling about, as were members of what I assumed to be other bands. The waitresses all wore short skirts and revealing tops, their faces caked with expensive make-up and their hair teased up into death-defying creations. The other band members, oddly enough, looked almost the same. Except for the skirts.
No one came and talked to me the entire hour I sat there. They all stared at me though. They probably thought I was lost.
In a way, I felt lost.
And then, a shadow appeared next to me and suddenly, I was found.
"This is so fucking awesome, Faith."
I smiled and looked over at my step-brother, sitting stretched out on the stage next to me, arms propping himself up, and legs crossed in front of him. I smile larger than I have ever seen, plastered happily across his face. "Don't cuss, Johnny."
Smiling even wider, he sat up and pushed my shoulder. "Shut up, Faith."
And so we sat, two runaways from a tiny little town in Utah, thousands of miles away from home. Still together, and doing pretty ok. In a matter of minutes, thousands of people were going to crowd into this place, all to see my brother play a guitar. In Utah, people would be all but stoning him and he would be miserable for it. But no, we were in California. And in California, people love him. If they don't yet, they will soon enough. I just knew it. And I was thrilled for him.
"Hey kid, we've got to go get ready."
I opened my eyes, still smiling from the thought of Johnny's future adoring fans, and stared into the heavily outlined glare of Matt.
"What are you looking at?"
"Just your make-up."
"It's stage make-up."
"Whatever. It's still make-up, Matthew."
"Don't call me that."
"Call you what, Matthew?"
"Dammit - Jimmy! Come tell your bitch of a girlfriend to shut the fuck up!"
I rolled my eyes and allowed Johnny to pull me up to my feet. Matt had gotten more and more irritating ever since Jimmy and I had started seeing each other. I honestly didn't know what his problem with us being together was. In fact, it was none of his business to approve or disapprove of our relationship. But I had long ago stopped letting it bother me. According to Jimmy, Matt is Matt and there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to learn to live with it.
I didn't understand why they were ever friends to begin with. It seems all one-sided to me.
Jimmy's tall, lanky form stalked out from the shadows of the wings of the stage. Thankfully, his face was free of all CoverGirl products. His hair was... odd looking, but that, I could live with. I don't know what I would do if my boyfriend asked to borrow my make-up. As it was, Matt was wearing more than I do on even special occasions. Someone hadn't taught him how to properly apply it either.
"Matt's right - you need to go get ready, Johnny. We can't be out here when they open the doors anyways."
He shot me a smile that warmed my heart - and made me completely forget the fact that he just let Matt get away with calling me a bitch... again. He took my hand, his thumb lightly, reassuringly rubbing over the top of mine, and led me back to the room that had been designated theirs for the night.
Inside, the boys all sat in various get-ups, but all marked by a predominance of black and metal. It made them all look scary and not the actually kind people that they were. Except for Matt. His outfit resembled his personality. I stood in the corner of the room, sandwiched between Jimmy's legs as he sat in a counter, his hands continually slapping my legs like they were his drum set. Everyone was preoccupied with "preparing" for the show. They were to take the stage in about 25 minutes. Matt clutched a bottle of water as he paced back and forth across the room, humming a melody that was foreign to me. Johnny, Zack and Brian sat in a circle and tuned their guitars. Jimmy's parents calmly sat on a couch, watching a prime time sitcom on a small 13 inch TV. I leaned backwards and looked up at Jimmy. He was chewing on his lip.
"You nervous?" I whispered, not wanting anyone to hear his possible answer.
He shook his head 'no'. "Yes."
I kissed my finger and touched it to the end of his nose. It was something I always used to do with Nat when his family was around - they didn't like "Public Displays of Affection".
"Don't be. You've practiced a lot - you guys are ready for this. You'll be great."
Not satisfied with a finger-kiss, he leaned down and captured my lips with his own in a kiss that seemed too passionate to be had with his parents and friends around. "Thank you."
We sat in silence for about another fiteen minutes until a stage hand knocked on the door and announced that the boys were to "take the stage in five." I moved out of the way as Jimmy hopped of the counter and rustled through his bag, retrieving about eight pair of drum sticks. Overkill much?
Kathy stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, murmuring a "good luck" and then turned to all the boys, smiling. "Go get 'em boys. Rock their socks off!"
I turned and looked at Johnny. He was an unhealthy shade of green. Oh crap.
Our eyes caught each other and he gulped. I knew him - he was on the verge of flipping out. Crossing the room, I took hold of his shoulders and rubbed them reassuringly. "You'll be fine, Johnny. You can do this. This is what you've been waiting for! Remember?"
Suddenly, he had me wrapped up in a bear hug. I rubbed his back. "You'll be fine Johnny."
He let out a sigh and seemed to compose himself. "Yeah, I'll be fine."
They all picked up their instruments and walked out of the room, towards the stage. I had set myself to stay behind, but Kathy grabbed my hand and pulled me along with her, claiming that it was nonsense for me to stick around here.
The boys rushed onto the stage, the curtain still down and a dull roar coming from the other side of it. I peeked around the edge and saw the once desolate concrete floor now swarming with people. They were jammed against one another like packed sardines. I didn't know how any of them could breathe. They all looked similar to the boys - dressed in black and covered in metal and took much make-up. Their hair was black too. I looked down at my own attire, realizing just how different I was from the crowd, and from the boys.
Suddenly lights hit the stage and the crowd and the curtains drew open. At the same instance, Jimmy clicked his drumsticks together, counting them off just as I had seen him do many times before in practice.
And then, they played. Loudly, but with passion. And the crowd ate them up. People screamed and threw their hands in the air. Some were being lifted up and carried above the crowd, others seemed to form a big circle in which they all just beat each other up. It was nothing like I had ever seen before.
They played for what seemed like hours and I watched it all in awe. It wasn't my choice of music but I couldn't deny the fact that they were really good, and that the crowd loved them.
It all ended just as abruptly as it had begun - Matt bid the crowd a goodnight and they all left the stage, sweaty and smiling. We all piled back into the dressing room, the boys talking animatedly and slapping one another on the back. After calming down a bit, they toweled the layers of sweat off themselves and collapsed on the couches. "That was awesome," Matt finally declared.
By the time we had gathered up all the equipment and got the club owner to write a check for the band's share of the proceeds, it was after midnight and everyone was quite rightfully exhausted. I don't recall anything of the ride home except for Jimmy jostling me awake as he tried to lift me out of the van.
"I can walk, silly."
"Yeah," he smiled, wrapping an arm around me, "but you look cute when you sleep. I didn't want to wake you."
Somehow I managed to drag myself upstairs and into the darkened bedroom. Ashley was sound asleep. If the babysitter was any good, she would have been asleep for hours by now. As silently as possible, I changed into my pajamas, only then realizing how much my clothes stank of cigarette smoke. They couldn't just lay there all night, stinking up the bedroom. Wrinkling my nose I picked them up and took them into the hallway, dropping them down the laundry shoot.
The door to the bathroom opened and Jimmy walked out, steam pouring out with him. He had only a pair of flannel pajama bottoms on was rubbing his hair with a towel. His pale skin stretched tautly over his ribs and for the first time, I noticed a black ink design on him. "Watcha looking at?"
Caught. "Oh, um," I choked, stumbling on my words. "Nothing."
"Mmhmm."
He didn't sound convinced.
"Sooo... I was thinking... My parents are in bed already and I'm sure Ashley's asleep. It would be awful of you were to wake her, so... how 'bout you just stay with me tonight?"
My stomach flip-flopped and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. "I'm sorry, what?"
He ran his hand through the wet, black mop of hair on his head. "I mean, I was just thinking-"
"Are you getting fresh with me Mr. Sullivan?"
"What? Honestly, Faith!" he laughed, "who says that anymore - fresh? Come on, you're staying with me tonight."
He grabbed my hand, his own still warm and soft from the shower, and dragged me down the hall and into his room. Johnny lay on his air mattress on the floor with his headphones on, strumming on an air guitar and humming to himself. Absentmindedly, he rolled his head to the side and jumped when he saw the two of us standing in the doorway.
"Hey Faith, what are you doi-- ohhh no! Nuh-uh. Look, I'm fine with you guys dating and the kissing and the cuddling and all that gross shit, but there is no way I am sleeping in this room with the two of you screwing right next to me!"
"Johnny!" I shrieked, my face turning 25 shades of red.
"Chill," Jimmy said calmly, confidently. "We're just sleeping. Sleeeeeping."
Johnny slumped back down onto the mattress, his arms crossed. "Fine. But if I hear any sex sounds, I'm outta here!"
Jimmy reached out and flipped off the light switch, shrouding us in darkness. "Trust me. No sex sounds."
- 9
- 10
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All We Are is Memories