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Forbidden	By : n4n4mi Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 2209 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
A/N: Another chapter, hope you like it! It took a while because I had so much things to think about... but here it is! It isn't what I hoped it would be but... anyway, enjoy!

Chapter 10

The same evening Daisuke was walking home with Shinya after they had left the café where they were supposed to spend their evening with Kaoru and Kyo. Kyo hadn't been there and neither had Kaoru. Daisuke had got a text message from his best friend which told: "I won't come to hang out tonight. Anyway, hope you'll have a good time. See you tomorrow at school."

"I wonder what's wrong with him", Daisuke muttered.

Shinya rolled his eyes. He was tired of talking about Kaoru. Daisuke was boring when all he could think of was his friend. All evening Daisuke had been thinking about was Kaoru sick or on a date with Gackt or had something serious happened! Shinya couldn't take it anymore. He had hoped to have a nice, relaxing evening but no, Daisuke had ruined it with his worries.

"Stop that already", he finally sighed, glaring at the older boy. Daisuke seemed to be shocked. "What do you mean?"

"Stop worrying about Kaoru! He is old enough to look after himself!" Shinya groaned. "I think he has a good reason for not coming tonight. Kyo didn't come either and I'm not worrying about him because I know he can take care of himself though he's a lot younger than Kaoru is. So just calm down already."

Daisuke nodded. "Okay... But I'm going to make him tell everything tomorrow."

"Well, that sounds good! As long as you forget about him for today."

***

At the same time Kyo was removing his clothes off at Toshiya's house (A/N: No, it's definitely NOT what you think. You pervs ;D). He was staying for a night because Toshiya had asked him to. Toshiya's parents hadn't been happy for it though. Kyo knew what they thought about him, they were thinking just like everyone else was: that he was a stranger who shouldn't have any friends. And at least they didn't want him to be near their son in any way possible. But Toshiya had still wanted him to stay so he had. He could still hear Toshiya talking with his parents on the other side of the door. Toshiya's parents were trying their best to get him out of their house.

"Toshimasa, who do you think you are talking to? We are your parents and we have a right to say who you ask to visit us! And there is no way that boy is staying here for tonight! He looks like some criminal, where did you find him?!" Toshiya's mother hissed.

"His name is Kyo and he isn't a criminal!" Toshiya shouted. "He is my best friend and you have no right to talk about him like that! Leave him alone, he sleeps in my room tonight! And there's nothing you can say to change my mind!"

"Don't shout at your mother like that!" Toshiya's father started.

"I shout if I want to! I hate you, hate you both!"

"Stop that! You're not talking to your parents with that tone! And he isn't sleeping in our house! What has happened to you? You used to have good friends! What happened to those nice boys Kei and Mizuki and who was that third one? They seemed very nice!" Toshiya's mother was almost sobbing.

"They proved to be everything else but nice", Toshiya answered. "You think I should hang out with people who almost killed Kyo?!"

Toshiya's parents went silent and neither of them said anything. They were wordless. "So you're not going to say anything?! Fine then!" Toshiya hissed and opened the door to his room, shutting and locking it after him. Kyo was there, sitting on his bed and looking at him with wide eyes. And... oh God, Kyo was almost naked! The older boy seemed to be a little ashamed but didn't ask him to leave or anything.

"Oh... I'm sorry", Toshiya breathed and started to stare at the floor, blushing brightly. He couldn't help it, Kyo's half naked body drove him crazy. He couldn't watch his body, just couldn't.

Kyo didn't say anything, he just pulled a t-shirt - that Toshiya had borrowed him - over himself and yawned. He was a little tired after a long day at school. He had went to Toshiya's house when they had came from the café (not the one where Kei and his friends had been). That's why he hadn't went to hang out with Shinya and those two geeks, not that the company of those older boys had interested him at the first place. He had rather spent time with Toshiya. Toshiya sat next to him on the bed, not knowing what to say.

"Maybe I... should leave after all", Kyo whispered then in a quiet voice. Toshiya shook his head in amazement. So, Kyo had heard everything...

"No, I don't want you to leave", Toshiya breathed and grabbed his friend's hand with his own. "I want you to stay. So... please stay?"

"Your parent's don't want me to stay", Kyo answered sadly. "I don't want your parents to get angry at you because of me. So it is better for me to leave. I don't want to cause any troubles to you. I can spend my night at home, it's okay really."

But Toshiya disagreed. "There's no way you're going home now. I really want you to stay and I do not care about what my parents say. You shouldn't either. They are my parents and I care about them but they can't decide who I am friends with. They don't know anything about anything. And they don't know you like I do... If they knew what kind of person you are, they would want you to stay. I'm sure of it. My parents just..."

"Yes, I know... Your family is rich and they don't want you to be a friend with a poor guy like me."

"But you must stay. Please? I feel bad if you leave. You know you are my best and only friend. Or... if you go, I'll come with you. I'm not staying either if you're going to leave me here all alone."

Kyo sighed heavily and thought for a moment but nodded then, not saying a word. Toshiya lifted his eyebrow curiously. "What did that mean?" he asked.

"I'm staying", Kyo answered shyly with a cute smile on his lips. "But... where am I sleeping then? On the floor?"

Toshiya shook his head but didn't say anything for a while. He didn't know what to say. He didn't have any other bed in his room because usually he didn't have any night visitors. But there was no way he would ask Kyo to sleep on the floor! "I was wondering if... we two could share my bed tonight?" His voice was very uncertain when he dared to ask it. Kyo seemed to be in his thoughts for a moment before he managed to answer: "Fine. I guess it's okay."

***

It was already very late, almost 11 pm when Daisuke arrived at Kaoru's house. He had called his best friend and asked what was wrong when he hadn't come to the café that evening. Kaoru had been quiet for a long time before he had answered sounding weird and asked for him to come over to his house.

Kaoru's older brother Hideyuki came to open the door with Kaoru's little brother Kenta in his arms. "Oh, it's you, Daisuke. Come in, come in. Kaoru is in his room I guess. He hasn't really showed up this evening, I wonder if he's okay", Hideyuki started babling. He was always like that, very outgoing and always talking though Daisuke didn't even know him that well.

"Thank you. I think I'll just go up there to check for him. He called me and asked me to come see him", Daisuke sighed and passed over Kaoru's two brothers.

Hideyuki still spoke, though. "Daisuke, I... You are his best friend and I know he tells you everything so... I would just like to know if he has told you what is wrong with him. Please, I am his brother and still he never talks to me. He doesn't want to tell me anything. We used to be so close but now he is in his own thoughts. And... he really doesn't seem happy. Not today at least, the one second I saw him come home from school. If you know anything, please tell me. I haven't been as good brother as I hope I had been... But I'm worried about him."

Daisuke smiled a little. Of course he knew Hideyuki cared about Kaoru and it was natural he was worried about his brother. "I know you care about him but I don't know anything. That's why I came here, to talk to him. I think you should just ask him if you are worried. But I'm sure that he's fine really. I'll go now."

***

When Daisuke knocked Kaoru's room's door - which was locked - he heard few slow steps from behind the door and it opened soon. Kaoru was standing there and looking... awful. Daisuke couldn't believe his eyes. Well, Kaoru never cared too much how he looked but...

"Kaoru-kun, what has happened?" Daisuke whispered. Kaoru really wasn't okay. Something was definitely wrong and he would find out what it was. And he could almost swear Kaoru had been crying.

"Come in", Kaoru said quietly and when Daisuke had stepped inside he locked the door behind them once again. Kaoru sat down on his bed and pressed his face on his hands. Daisuke became very worried now and he sat next to his best friend. After considering a second he touched Kaoru's shoulder carefully, not knowing if it was alright for him to do something like that. He had always known Kaoru was sensitive but the older boy had never really cried when he had been around. So this was quite an awkward moment.

"Kaoru... please, tell me what is wrong..." he tried again but Kaoru just continued sitting there face in his hands, crying very silently but still so that Daisuke could hear him doing that.

Nothing happened for a long time and Daisuke moved his hand carefully to his friend's head, caressing his messy hair. "Kaoru-" That was when Kaoru wrapped his arms around Daisuke's body and started to cry against his shoulder loudly. "Everything is okay... Please don't cry..." he tried to calm his friend down.

"No, nothing is okay! Everything is..." Kaoru sobbed against him and couldn't even breath well. "Gackt-sensei is... Yoshiki said..."

Daisuke sighed heavily, still caressing his friend's hair gently. "I knew it. I knew this had to be something to do with Gackt or Yoshiki. No one never makes you cry, only they can do that. But... wouldn't you want to tell me everything? You know you can always trust me..."

Kaoru lifted his head from his shoulder and took a deep breath. Slowly he started to explain. "Yoshiki came to shower after our sport's class today. He found me and Gackt and... You don't believe... what he said... Even I can not believe it though I was there...! He said that... Gackt-sensei isn't what he seems to be. He made it very clear that... all Gackt wants from me is... my..." Kaoru couldn't finish his sentence. Instead he started crying again and pressed his face against Daisuke's shoulder once again. But he really didn't have to finish his sentence because Daisuke already knew what Kaoru meant.

"Oh, Kaoru..." he breathed worriedly and wrapped his arms tighter around his friend. This was just what he had been afraid of. He had known this would happen. It had only been a matter of time when something like this came up. "But... are you sure it is true? I mean... you said Yoshiki told you that. And you've seen how Yoshiki has changed. Don't say you believe him... Yoshiki hasn't been himself for a long time now and I'm sure he's still in love with Gackt. So... that's propably the reason he said something like that!"

"But what if he really is right?!" Kaoru cried. "If Gackt really only wants..."

"Come on, this is just how Yoshiki hopes you are taking it. I can't say I know Gackt is innocent but... the truth is that you can't trust either one of them. I mean... what does your heart tell you? Who should you believe more?"

Kaoru was quiet for a long time. Then he whispered sadly: "That's just what shocks me the most. Because... somehow my heart says I should believe... Yoshiki."

***

Toshiya was laying on his back in his bed, staring at the seiling in silence. Kyo was laying next to him and he was already sleeping or so it seemed. And so... Toshiya was awake alone and couldn't sleep. It wasn't that he wouldn't had been tired but... Toshiya turned his head to side, looking at his best friend. It was impossible to sleep when Kyo was sleeping next to him and looking so... cute. I am crazy... he thought but couldn't take his eyes off of his best friend.

What was wrong with him? How had he fallen in love with his his friend? He had always thought he was straight. Oh wait a minute! What was he talking about? How many girls had he been dating? No one. How many girls had he kissed? No one. How many girls had he hold hands with? No one. And how many girls had he looked at that way? No one.

Oh dear God, he was SO gay! How could it be he hadn't understood it before? He should have! And now... Now he was in a big trouble. He should never have moved to this place. He should have moved to somewhere else, anywhere else! So he had never met Kyo and...

Toshiya sighed heavily. A sad smile appeared on his lips. If he hadn't met Kyo, his life would be so boring and horrible. And still... it would have been better if he never had seen Kyo. That way he hadn't ever fallen in love with him. Damn, if Kyo would ever get to know about it...!

No, it wouldn't happen. There's no way he would tell him. He would keep his secret, no matter what it would take. If he told Kyo how he felt Kyo wouldn't be able to even look at him. Kyo would absolutely start to hate him and he wouldn't stand it. He would kill himself if Kyo began to hate him!

"Nnnn... Toshiya..." Kyo muttered sleepily and opened his eyes a bit, seeing him staring at him with a strange look on his face in the dark. "What is... wrong?"

"It's nothing..." Toshiya answered immediately and turned his back on his friend. "Just sleep..." And soon he could already hear a snoring come from his best friend's mouth. I have to get him out of my mind... It is the only option I have. He is my friend and will always be. He'll never be anything else.

***

Daisuke was walking through the school's hallway towards the lunch room when he heard a yawn from his left side and stopped right away. His head turned to side and he realized he was looking at Shinya who was leaning against the wall near him.

"Hiya", he said quietly staring at the younger boy.

"Well, there you are", Shinya sighed and took a step away from the wall, walking closer to him. There was a weird expression on Shinya's face and Daisuke didn't really know what to think about it. Somehow it just seemed that... the younger boy was... Well, he really didn't know. He couldn't read what Shinya's expression meant.

"I tried to call you last night", Shinya said calmly. "But you didn't answer. Why? I had something important to tell to you."

"Umm... Sorry", Daisuke answered. Shinya wasn't satisfied with his answer. "Sorry? And that is all you're going to say?! I REALLY wanted to talk to you but no... It seems you had something much more interesting to do, didn't you?!"

"I... I wasn't at home", Daisuke managed to whisper. "I was... at Kaoru's house. You see, he called me and he asked me to come to his house right away. He sounded so weird and of course I got worried. I had to go and..."

Shinya glared at him and didn't seem sorry for Kaoru, not at all. And oh boy he was SO angry. "So you were at Kaoru's house you say?" Shinya hissed and Daisuke nodded. "You answered to Kaoru but not me! All you care about is KAORU!"

"You... you don't understand the situation he is in..." Daisuke whispered. "You have no idea what he has been through. He needed his best friend so of course I was there for him. I'm always there for him."

"And that's just what I'm sick of! I'm so SICK of KAORU! It's ALWAYS KAORU! You always think about him, you always talk about him! And when the only thing I do is to call you, you HANG UP. Because you don't care about me a bit. It seems you don't even see I'm here! All you see is KAORU and it seems you want to spend the rest of your life running after HIM!"

"That's not true", Daisuke muttered in shock. "Kaoru is my friend. He's my best friend and you should understand it... You are my friend too but-"

"Just FUCK YOU!" Shinya hissed and turned his back on him, starting to walk away. Everyone looked at the younger boy with wide eyes and so did Daisuke. What had he done wrong?

***

At the same time Kaoru was also walking towards the lunch room in the other side of the school. He hadn't seen either Gackt or Yoshiki today and was quite happy about it. He had slept only few hours that night because he had been thinking about this whole thing between him and his two teachers. Why did he have to be in a situation like this?! What he done to deserve this? He was a student like everyone else in this school and for some reason all his happiness had been ruined. Was it Yoshiki's fault? He had always trusted his mathematic's teacher. Yoshiki had always been like another dad for him. And now it seemed like Yoshiki wanted to ruin his life. Obviously Yoshiki didn't want him to be happy or loved. Or was it Gackt? What if Yoshiki had been right and all Gackt wanted from him was his virginity? God, he trusted Gackt so much so why did Yoshiki have to ruin everything by speaking nonsense?! Now everything seemed wrong and he couldn't help but to feel scared of Gackt too. And he didn't deserve this! After all, he was just a boy though he was almost 19 years old.

What should he do? Who should he believe? Daisuke had said that Yoshiki was the one that shouldn't be trusted. Maybe he should believe Gackt and continue his well started relationship with him.

"Kaoru..." he suddenly heard a manly voice from behind him and he didn't have to turn around to recognise who it was. It was Yoshiki, who else?

Kaoru stopped there and stared at the floor, not turning around. Yoshiki walked in front of him, trying to make an eye contact with him but he couldn't watch his teacher into eyes so he kept his eyes fixed on the floor. "Kaoru, I need to talk to you. In private."

Kaoru was quiet for a long time before he could answer. "If you are going to talk about me and Ga-"

"Ssssh! Not here!" Yoshiki hissed and grabbed him from his wrist, starting to lead him away from the hallway. Other students were staring at them with surprised expressions and whispering something to each other but Yoshiki just fastened their speed. Kaoru was unable to make Yoshiki let go of him, Yoshiki was holding his wrist so tightly and leading him to... where was Yoshiki taking him to?!

It cleared to him when Yoshiki opened the principal's waiting room's door and lead him there. "But sensei-" Yoshiki shut the door behind them and sat to the waiting room's sofa with him, finally letting go of his hand. Kaoru pulled his hand far away from his teacher quickly. Yoshiki had hurt him. "That hurt", he whispered, still not looking at Yoshiki.

There was a short silence and then Yoshiki finally spoke. "I'm sorry. I just need to talk to you. I wanted to ask if you have thought about what I said yesterday?"

Kaoru sighed. Yes, he knew it. He knew Yoshiki would start talking about his and Gackt's relationship once again. It didn't make this any easier for him. He had actually been almost ready to go and apologize Gackt but now he was alone with Yoshiki and... "Yes, I have been thinking about it. Actually it is the only thing I have been thinking. I couldn't even sleep last night. All I could think about was what you said yesterday. I'm so tired..."

"I understand it must be horrible to hear something like that", Yoshiki sighed. "But I had to tell you. You need to know what kind of man your lovely Gackt-sensei really is. After all, all he has said to you is a lie."

Kaoru shook his head. "I don't believe you", he said and finally dared to look at his teacher. "All you say is a lie. You just want me and Gackt to break up. And because that is what you want, I have to tell you: it won't happen. I'm not going to give you that joy to see us apart."

"You don't see this at all, it seems. God, I'm too late", Yoshiki hissed. "That slut has already brainwashed you too much. Good for him, not for you. Because he already has gained your trust and soon he's going to take what he wants from you. He almost got it yesterday, don't deny it. I saw what you were doing with him in the shower!!!"

"You hate me", Kaoru suddenly said calmly. Yoshiki went quiet and stared at Kaoru in shock. "I can't believe you're saying that", he whispered.

Kaoru nodded. "But I am. And I know it is true. But I'd like to know why exactly do you hate me this much?" he continued calmly. Yoshiki was even more shocked. "WHAT?"

"I know you hate me. You hate me because you think I stole your lover which isn't true. You hate me and that is why you're trying to ruin my life, ruin everything I have. I finally found someone who cares about me, who loves me. Everyone hates me and thinks I'm some stupid geek. But not Gackt-sensei. He loves me and you want to take him away from me because you are jealous. You don't even care that I am your student. You want to hurt me and you've succeeded in it."

Yoshiki's expression was sad. "I don't hate you. Kaoru, I care about you. I never want to hurt you or make you feel bad. I'm trying to protect you." After thinking about it for a while he lifted his hand and touched the boy's cheek, caressing it gently.

"If that is true I appreciate it but I love Gackt and you must understand it", Kaoru answered. "And Gackt loves me too." Yoshiki immediately removed his hand from Kaoru's cheek and stood up from the sofa, looking at him sadly. "You don't understand... He doesn't love you. He doesn't know what the word love means like I said yesterday! When he looks at you, I can see that he doesn't love you. It is lust, not love. You must be careful or you'll get hurt."

"Don't say that..." Kaoru whispered. Yoshiki's words made him clueless once again. He didn't know what to think, once again he was ready to believe Yoshiki. "Gackt isn't a bad person..."

Yoshiki shook his head. "I have to be completely honest with you, Kaoru... He wants to fuck you. And when he has, he leaves you. Don't believe his words about love", he said and Kaoru's eyes came wet. Kaoru put his hands over his face. He didn't want Yoshiki to see him crying. "Oh Kaoru, please don't cry. That is... That is just the way it is."

Kaoru couldn't help but cry. But before Yoshiki could say anything more, he stood up and walked to door, opening it. Yoshiki turned to look at him worriedly. "What are you going to do?" his teacher asked.

"I wish I knew."

***

It wasn't a surprise when Shinya didn't spend any of the breaks with Kaoru or Die. But to Kyo it was really weird because lately he had gotten used to always seeing Shinya with Die. That's why Kyo couldn't believe his eyes when Shinya arrived to spend his break with him and Toshiya.

"What are you doing here?" Kyo asked immediately and stared at Shinya with a questioning look in his eyes. "Shouldn't you be with your dear friend Andou?"

Shinya glared at his best friend with a deathly expression. "Don't even mention his name!" he hissed. "He makes me sick with that stupid Niikura."

Toshiya's eyes widened but Kyo didn't seem to be shocked at all. "Hah, so you finally realized those two geeks don't have other life than studying, whining and being stupid together." Shinya nodded. "First I seriously thought they are nice but now I've realized what kind of people they are. Especially Andou makes me angry. I fucking hate him."

Toshiya rolled his eyes. "You change your mind quite quickly", he commented.

"Shut up. I don't like you either", Shinya hissed back to Toshiya.

Kyo slapped Shinya to the back of his head. "Stop that right away. Leave Toshiya out of this because he has nothing to do with this", he snapped.

"So you are against me too though I used to be your best friend! Fine then! Besides, he started it," Shinya hissed. Now Kyo looked like he would explode any minute. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! If you have problems don't have to be asshole to everyone."

Toshiya nodded. "Yes, you are acting like a little brat. Calm down."

"Fuck you! I hate you both! I'll find other company then!" Shinya hissed and turned his back on Kyo and Toshiya, leaving them standing there alone. Kyo shook his head. "Shinya has always been a little different from others but god, now he's completely out of his mind!"

***

It was already three o'clock when Kaoru's and Daisuke's school was finally over. Their last class had been sex ed and of course Gackt taught them that school subject. That's the reason why Kaoru was really pissed off after the class when he was pulling his jacket on. Daisuke was listening to his whining of course and rolling his eyes.

"Kao-kun, you are overreacting!" the red head groaned. "Gackt didn't look at the other students the way you think. He's in love with you! Besides, you shouldn't be jealous because you said you're going to leave him anyway..."

Kaoru blushed. "I am NOT jealous. And yes, I'm going to leave him. Yoshiki made me realize what kind of person our teacher really is. I can't believe I got so fooled by him. He's nothing but a selfish pervy man lusting after his students. I wonder who's the next victim after I leave him. But I'm not going to be his whore. He has to find one from somewhere else. I hate him", Kaoru hissed but soon he noticed that Daisuke was staring at him with wide eyes. "Huh? What is it now? Why are you looking at me like that?! I-"

"So that's what you're thinking about me, Kaoru."

It felt like Kaoru's heart had stopped for a moment when he heard his sex ed's teacher's voice right behind him. He turned around and saw Gackt standing there locking the class room's door. "Sensei, I-"

But Gackt looked at him with a disappointed and sad expression and he couldn't finish his sentence. "There's no need to start to explain anything. I understand everything very clearly. You've decided to believe Yoshiki's lies over me and it's okay. I really understand. As long as you won't speak things like that so that the whole school knows."

Kaoru couldn't say a thing and Daisuke saw it was wise to just flee as quick as possibly. "Kaoru, let's just go already. Please...?"

"No. I need to talk to him", Kaoru answered calmly. "You can go already, Dai. I'll follow you soon."

Daisuke nodded and started walking away, leaving Kaoru and Gackt alone in the hallway. Gackt started to talk immediately. "I can't believe you are doing this. You know me, you know I care about you! I thought you trusted me!"

"Yes, I did trust you. But not anymore. I was ready to forgive you this morning but then I talked to Yoshiki. And I'm glad he found me and made me realize what you really are. All you want is to fuck me, right? You would enjoy it, wouldn't you?!"

"You are completely mental", Gackt said, shaking his head, not even looking at him. "I don't even want to know what he has told you. But you should already know that everything he has told you is a lie!"

"He said exactly the same thing about you!" Kaoru whispered. "So how am I supposed to know what is the truth?! And that's the reason we can't continue doing this. Everything we had isn't anymore, do you understand? I can't trust you anymore."

Gackt stared at him for a while but nodded then. "Fine then. Let's act like nothing ever happened. But I want you to know..." Kaoru frowned when Gackt took his face between his palms and continued softly: "Whenever you change your mind... I'm ready. I'll be waiting for you. Even if it takes years. I love you."

"Enough." Kaoru took a step away from his teacher and turned his back on him, starting to walk away, not turning to look behind him, not even once. This had to end.

TBC...

A/N: The next chapter may take a while... I'll try to be quick but I still have that school to worry about and I can't promise anything. And if anyone reviews, I'll love them! ^-^
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