Kiss Me

Ville’s heart stopped in his chest. Those blue eyes were boring straight into him, and he saw the sense of confusion in his face. He felt it through his skin. He searched through his mind for something, anything to say.

But what can you say to that? Hey, guess what, I’m a drag queen? And I was dancing with you, because I think you’re really hot. I’m also gay, and the way you’re laying on top of me is putting some ideas into my head that I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be in there.

Yeah, that would go over incredibly well, wouldn’t it? Ville very wisely kept his mouth shut.

“I don’t know you.” Bam said flatly, staring down at the boy beneath him. The green eyed one squirmed a bit and shook his head urgently.

“Of course you don’t.” he tired to make sure their eyes didn’t meet again. Maybe he wouldn’t make the connection. After all, lots of people had lovely green eyes, didn’t they? Oh God, please don’t let his eyes give him away. Please don’t let anything give him away.

“I’ve never seen you before in my life.”

“Except maybe you’ve passed me in the hall or something.” Ville offered. Bam rolled off the other boy and sat on his heels, his sweating palms resting on his denim clad thighs.

“Yes. That must be it.” The younger boy’s voice sounded automatic and rehearsed, almost like he was reciting from a script.

“I’ve seen you in the hall. And that’s the only reason that your eyes look so familiar to me. That’s the only reason, the only explanation.”

“Of course,” Ville agreed. Blue eyes turned to his face again, as he remained where he was, laying flat on his back there in the seldom used hallway.

“No,” Bam disagreed slowly then. “You… I… You…”

“I have a sister!” he blurted.

“You do?” Bam was intrigued now.

“She---she goes dancing a lot. Maybe that’s why you think you’ve seen me before.”

“Oh. Okay then.” He was trusting, far too trusting, the older boy saw. His heart ached, because he knew Bam could be hurt far too easily. And he knew that right now, he was contributing to some pain that was coming in the future. For the both of them.

“What’s her name?”

“My sister? V—Violet.” It was the first name he could thing of, and anyway, it was his mother’s favorite flower. It was a name that was easy for him to remember. Besides, he thought, I’ve never given myself a name for when I dress up. Maybe it’s time that I give me—her, an identity.

“Violet,” the name sang on Bam’s tongue. He smiled as he stood up. He looked down at the thin boy, laying there. He offered his hand.

“If you give me her number--.”

“She doesn’t have a cell phone. And our parents don’t like boys to call. As it is she sneaks out to go dancing.”

“Will she be there this weekend?”

“Saturday night,” Ville promised.

“Will you tell her I’ll be there?” he helped the other boy to his feet. He marveled at how the older boy seemed to weigh almost nothing. Ville nodded several times. Bam flashed him a grin before fairly skipping off, backpack slung over one shoulder. Did he ever have something to tell the guys!

“It’s a date,” Ville whispered.

**

“You are in so deep,” Burton sighed that night on the phone. Instead of a deck of cards, Ville had several containers of makeup in his hands.

“I know! But he’s a homophobe. Or at least, he doesn’t know anything about what it is to be gay. He’s so far in denial…” he ended helplessly.

“What are you going to do? You can’t change your voice into something more feminine. Hell, Ville, you’ve got one of the deepest voices I’ve ever heard!”

“Simple,” he’d thought ahead. “Violet doesn’t talk much. She’s too scared.”

“This isn’t going to end well.” Burton predicted.

“You don’t know that.” His friend countered. “Now, tell me, do I look better in midnight blue, or deep purple?”

***

“Her brother goes to your school.” Lotus said flatly.

“Yeah! Isn’t it amazing?” Bam said dreamily, flopping back on his bed.

“Yeah, really amazing.” She agreed. She shifted the phone to her other ear as she stirred her pot of foot on the stove.

“You don’t think it’s a little too… I don’t know, coincidental?”

“No. I just think its fate.”

“Have you been swiping my Harlequin Romances?” she asked sharply. She could almost hear Bam blushing on the other end.

“When you sleep in and there’s nothing on TV, I have to have something to do.” He defended. She rolled her eyes and chuckled.

“Listen, Lotus, I know he’s related to her somehow. It’s in the eyes. I’ve never seen eyes like that before in my life. Who else could have them but her brother?”

“If you say so. I just hate to think of you getting hurt, Bam.”

“I know,” there was a silence for a moment, and Bam’s heart throbbed. Sometimes he didn’t feel like he deserved to have a friend like Lotus. Sometimes he felt like… Well, it didn’t really matter, did it?

“What did you say her name was?”

“Violet. Isn’t that such a pretty name?”