Ai Nante | By : SujiChan Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > NEWS Views: 981 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Absolutely fake. I do not know anyone from NEWS or anyone else in this piece of fiction, nor do I make any money off it. |
Part 10, The Present
Tegoshi’s lips quirked, and after a moment he laughed softly. “I did, I asked her.”
Ryo lifted a hand to halt his friends as the others all started to talk at once. “Wait, wait! You proposed to her? And what did she say?”
“She said yes.” The other five moved forward as one, all talking loudly, each trying to be heard over the others. Tegoshi silenced them all with one sentence, “then three days later it was the end of us.” His brown eyes glistened wetly, and he bit his lower lip.
YamaPi could see the others would soon start to ask all kinds of questions, and he wasn’t sure that his young friend was ready for that. “I’m hungry,” he loudly proclaimed. “Why don’t we see what we have to eat in the…”
Tegoshi shook his head, smiling warmly at the older male. “It’s okay. Really. I think I need to continue since I started.”
“What happened?” Koyama softly asked.
“I destroyed what we had,” the youngest replied.
“Maybe it wasn’t your fault,” his friend, Masuda, tried to comfort him. “Maybe…”
“No, you don’t understand,” he interrupted. “I did it. Me. I destroyed what we had. There are no maybes about it.”
“I don’t understand,” Koyama blinked, shaking his head. “Why…”
“She caught me with one of her students,” Tegoshi blurted.
“What?” several of them gasped as one.
YamaPi scowled, and then stepped forward. “You fought to be with her. You struggled to be with her. I don’t believe you did it just to be with one of her students. You wanted her to catch you.” He saw the moisture overflow in the young man’s eyes. “What happened, Tesshi? What happened to make you do that?”
His brown eyes were full of pleading for understanding and forgiveness. “I was told that as young as I am, and with so many fans, that having a fiancé or wife was not a wise thing. I was told that it could ‘interfere’ with my career and future, and that if I failed to see that then they would need to speak to my fiancé.”
Masuda’s eyes widened. “They threatened Dani?”
Wincing, Tegoshi shook his head. “Not straight out.”
“But it still sounded that way, and they made sure you knew it,” YamaPi nodded, his lips pursing in anger. He’d once been told, and then often reminded, that getting too attached to one girlfriend was not a ‘wise’ thing to do. So he knew where Tegoshi was coming from.
“But Dani would never jeopardize your career so why didn’t you just tell her? Why did you do what you did?” Ryo asked, confused.
“So there’d be no chance of her trying to see him again,” Shige announced, his gaze narrowed and nodding his head, now understanding the situation. “To protect her.”
“She’d often said she’d leave me to protect me,” Tegoshi replied in a choked voice. “I knew she’d do it, but I knew either of us would be lonely for the other and the chances of us gravitating back to each other was too high. I had to make sure that would never happen. I knew they’d be watching us. I knew they’d make sure we didn’t get back together. If she left me herself for my own good she’d spend a lot of time ripping herself up over hurting me, but this way she’ll hate me and get over me sooner. I know it sounds conceited, but…”
“It sounded more conceited when you kept saying you knew she wanted you before she said so,” Ryo quipped, trying to make the heartbroken man smile, and it worked.
“Is she still in Japan?” Masuda quietly asked.
“I don’t know,” Tegoshi honestly told him. “I’ve been too afraid to try to find out. I know she quit tutoring my mother, though she did tell her of another teacher who was very good and who would teach her. So my mom doesn’t even know if she’s in Japan, and she’s afraid to try to find out too. My grandmother was going to go find out, but we talked her out of it.”
The others nodded. Tegoshi reached into his pant pocket and pulled something out, opening his hand to show a gold ring with a simple square cut diamond. “She’d only worn it for three days.” The gold glowed with the orange-red light of the fire, and the stone sparkled. He stared at it. “I haven’t had the heart to return it. I don’t think I will.”
He could still remember when he’d given it to her, and when she’d flung it at him before she ran out of his life forever. The ache in his heart was so strong he fell into a crouch, his hand fisting around the ring, and then lifting to press to his forehead as the tears spilled down his face. He’d held it in. He’d refused to break down. Now he couldn’t stop himself. His whole body trembled, and he held both fisted hands to his eyes, but the tears kept coming, and he was wracked by the loud broken sobs that tore out of him.
………………………………
The near past
He smiled in his sleep. Or rather, that moment between sleep and wakefulness when you were slowly becoming aware of the world around you like sounds or sensations. This morning it was the feel of warm silky skin sliding against his. “Mmmm,” he snuggled closer, nuzzling Dani’s soft hair and rolling more towards her to hold her tight to him. “Merry Christmas,” he greeted, eyes still shut.
She purred in pleasure as his palms stroked up her back and then down again to her waist. “Merry Christmas, Yuya,” she whispered against his neck.
They had exchanged gifts the night before, during dinner that had been brought up to the room. Tegoshi had reserved a large room at a hotel with a wonderful night view that they had enjoyed over dinner. They’d lingered over the meal, talking and laughing. Over dessert they’d exchanged gifts, and many kisses that had led to half eaten desserts sitting forgotten on the table.
She pulled away, and his eyes opened. “Where are you going?”
“I want to take a bath,” she replied, climbing out of bed.
His gaze moved admiringly over the naked length of her back and over her rounded bottom. One hand lifted towards her. “Nnn, not now.” He caught her hand in his. “Come back to bed,” he enticed.
She smiled, leaning over to kiss him, but when he reached to pull her down she backed quickly away. “Yuya, I smell of the love we made all night, and I want to wash and soak.” She softened her words with a smile and walked to the bathroom.
Tegoshi sighed, watching her, and then stretched lazily. He should shower as well, but felt too lethargic still after their long night of loving. He heard the shower going first, knew she was washing, and he couldn’t stop himself imagining that it was his hands soaping her body instead of her own. Tegoshi sat up, pushing the covers back, and on his way to the bathroom he paused, and went to his jacket, reaching inside an inner pocket. He pulled out the small box hidden there, chewed his bottom lip as he debated putting it back or not. After a moment he closed his hand around it, and went to the bathroom.
She was no longer in the shower, but relaxing in the tub with her head back and her eyes shut. She lifted a hand to point to the shower. “Wash before you join me, please.”
He grinned, took her wet hand, and put the box in it. Her eyes opened, and he sat on the side of the tub. “I love you, Dani. I’m happiest when I can hold you as I fall asleep and wake up feeling you against me. I’m happiest when we can share meals together, and when we can sit close together and talk and laugh while we have tea or a drink. I feel incomplete when we’re apart, and I work my hardest and do my best when I have to be away from you so you can be proud of the person I am.”
“Yuya,” she whispered in a choked voice, sitting up straighter. Her eyes were glossy with unshed tears at his heartfelt words.
He opened the box that was in her palm, and removed the ring. “I want to feel complete with you forever. If you accept give me your hand so I can put this ring on your finger.” He waited, and wondered if she would turn him down, but after a good twenty seconds her hand lifted out of the water, and a broad smile lit his face as he slipped the gold ring with the square cut diamond onto her finger. Then he raised her hand higher and kissed her knuckles before leaning forward to capture her lips in a kiss. He’d meant only to kiss her lightly, but she reached up to cling to him, and he leaned closer and deepened the kiss. There was a splash as he fell in, both of them going under, and then coming up sputtering and laughing.
……………………………………
The day was done, and Tegoshi couldn’t wait to get home, change, and then head over to Dani’s. His mother had been rather stunned by his news that he’d proposed, and was now engaged. His grandmother, on the other hand, was excited and already talking about the pros and cons of both a traditional Japanese wedding, and a more modern Christian one. She was also happily going out often to browse cloth shops and flower shops. Tegoshi let her enjoy herself, and even took samples to Dani as she prodded him to do.
Whistling a new song News had been practicing, he was walking down one of the hallways, making his way out when two men neared. “We need you to come with us,” one of them said.
“I’m done for the day,” he explained with a smile.
The other shook his head. “Not yet you’re not.”
He scowled as they motioned for him to turn about, and led him to a room. He entered, and found one of the executives. He bowed politely, and stood waiting, as he was not offered a chair. The other two men remained standing behind him. It gave Tegoshi a rather claustrophobic feeling, and he could feel anxiety rising within him. He doubted this was anything good. The executive made him wait over five minutes, and Tegoshi’s temper was simmering beneath the surface, knowing it was a ploy to discomfit him.
“I hear you’re engaged,” the executive did not yet look up from the papers they were signing.
Tegoshi blinked, startled. He’d planned to speak to them about that in a week or so, once he’d figured out how the hell to handle the situation. Now it was taken out of his hands. “How did you hear that?” he asked, curious. Who the hell could have told? He’d mentioned it to no one, and he knew Dani wouldn’t say a word yet. Unless it was his grandmother proudly proclaiming it about town? He winced, and had to bite back a loud groan of frustration.
The executive finally lifted his gaze to the younger male. “News is just regaining footing, and you’re nearing the top of your career with doramas and concerts and appearances. You’ve only just turned the age of majority. Don’t you think it’s rather early in your life to get engaged?”
“Some people get married younger…”
“Let me rephrase that so you may better understand me, Tegoshi-san. I was not asking you, I was stating a fact. You are a member of Johnny’s Entertainment,” the man reminded.
“There are some members of Johnny’s Entertainment who are married. Kimura-san of SMAP is…”
“Kimura-san is in his thirties, and is not the future of Johnny’s Entertainment.” The man’s gaze narrowed slightly in irritation. “You are the future. There are juniors who would love to surpass you in that esteem. They would thrill to get your dorama offers, make guest appearances, have the concerts in Tokyo Dome, and all the love and attention of the female fans that are the voice Johnny’s Entertainment listens to.”
Tegoshi’s lips thinned, and he glanced away briefly, wanting so badly to argue and defend himself. He could still have all that even if he was engaged. It wasn’t like he and Dani were planning to wed tomorrow! How could they expect him to spend the next ten years or so alone? He’d seen how YamaPi had had to end relationships once they’d become too public. He’d been the one to tell Tegoshi that there were ways to keep it private.
“These female fans spend their days daydreaming about you, their nights dreaming you love them, and their evenings at shows and concerts screaming your name and thinking up new fantasies about you. That’s what keeps you on top at Johnny’s. How can they fantasize and dream about you if they know you’re not available? That small wild hope that you’d fall for them is what keeps them in a frenzy, and keeps you employed.”
He steepled his fingers and rested them against his lips, eyeing Tegoshi for a moment. “It would not be wise to jeopardize all that. I see you’d love to dispute all that. I can see the anger in your eyes and your stance. I’m not here to debate the issue with you, Tegoshi-san. If you cannot be made to see the logic of all this then we will simply have to make Sensei Warukaa see reason. Do I make myself clear, Tegoshi-san?”
An icy fear gripped Tegoshi’s belly, and tightened it. He didn’t think they’d make Dani ‘see reason’ with tea and cookies. There was a very obvious dark threat beneath the man’s words that had him very afraid for Dani. Johnny’s Entertainment was a powerful entity in Japan. They could make or break you. They could bring you to the pinnacle of stardom, and then rip you down and shred you until there was nothing left. He’d heard rumours of others they’d destroyed. Others who had been unable to find any other kind of work in the country. Others who had disappeared from the limelight, and kept a very low profile so you wondered if they had ever existed?
“Very clear,” Tegoshi ground out. His heart was racing fearfully.
“Then you understand the logic in not becoming too attached to one person?”
He almost choked on the words. “I understand.”
“Good!” The man stood, finally, and neared. He beamed at Tegoshi, and clapped him on the shoulders. “I knew you would. Thank you for stopping by. I’m sure you have better things to do than to stay here and keep an old man company.” He led Tegoshi to the door, and guided him out.
Tegoshi bowed, and then began to walk down the hallway. After turning a corner he began to hurry, and then to run. He wanted to run to Dani, but knew he couldn’t. He wanted to run to her and tell her to pack a bag and they’d run away. They’d just disappear. Go somewhere where no one would find them, and where she’d be safe. But he knew he couldn’t. He knew she was probably being watched. And if he tried anything he’d end up in front of the executive again, and Dani…
He didn’t want to think about what would happen to her.
He’d run until he slammed into the driver’s side door of his car, clinging to it and panting, the cold fear in his belly roiling and twisting like some live creature trying to break its way out. With one hand he clung to the car, his knees weak and trembling, and the other hand he fisted and shoved hard into his stomach, trying to hold in the fear. Cold sweat broke out on his forehead, and he gritted his teeth hard enough to hear them grinding.
Tegoshi started to pant, and then to bang his fists into the hood of the car, and finally he let out an enraged scream. He slid down to his knees, and knelt there with his forehead against the cool side of the car, every now and then giving the car a weak slap until his anger had completely spent itself, and he was left exhausted.
He didn’t know how long he knelt there, but it was dark when he climbed into the car and finally drove home. His mother rushed to him when she heard him come in. “Yuya! What happened? Some men from Johnny’s Entertainment were here today. I thought they were looking for you, but they wanted to make me understand how important it was that you never see Dani again!”
He nodded dully, removing his shoes and heading for the stairs. He paused on the bottom step. “They didn’t come right out and say it, but they threatened her if I don’t end this with her.”
“Yuya…”
“I can’t let her get hurt,” he said in a low monotone.
“What are you going to do?” she asked, her hands clasped and wringing worriedly.
“I don’t know.” He started up the stairs. “I’m not hungry.”
……………………………
He’d called to tell her he was working overtime, and was unsure when he’d be off. Thankfully she’d been in class so he could leave a message and didn’t have to answer a lot of questions. Tegoshi hadn’t slept at all, his thoughts roiling all night with images that had left him in a cold sweat. By morning he knew he had to do whatever he could to protect Dani. He didn’t want anyone from Johnny’s anywhere near her, much less trying to ‘make her see reason’. That thought made him shudder.
“Yuya?” his mother had watched him pick at his breakfast and push the food around without touching a morsel.
“I have to protect her,” he stated.
“How will you do that?” his grandmother asked. She had blamed herself for this problematic situation, believing her going to flower shops and fabric shops had started it, though she had never said her grandson was getting married, only that a relative was.
Tegoshi didn’t think it was his grandmother’s fault at all. He was starting to think it was his own idiotic fault. That someone from the hotel had made mention of the fact that Tegoshi Yuya was in a room with his fiancée. He sat back, not even pretending to eat any longer. “I have to make sure there is no chance whatsoever we’ll get back together. It’s the only way. Anything less, and I’d be back at her door in days, or she’d contact me. No, it has to be final. It’s the only way.”
He had debated it, rolling different ideas about in his mind until he’d settled on one. “I’m going to let her catch me in a compromising position with another girl.”
“Yuya!” his mother was shocked.
Tegoshi shot her an impatient glare. “There’s no other way! We once spoke on jealousy. I’d never be able to forgive it if another man ever touched her, and I know she feels the same if another girl ever touched me.”
“But you’re not the type to cheat like that,” his mother argued. “She’d know this too.”
“But she’d catch me,” he reminded. “How could she deny what she sees with her own two eyes? No, this is the only way.”
…………………
The present
“The perfect opportunity came when I found out she was going to teach a later class, a special class that was for that week only.” Tegoshi was still crouched beside the fire, his hands still fisted at his forehead. He’d stopped crying, and now his voice was raw and thick. “I paid the cutest girl in her class to act it out with me. She took the money and agreed. I think part of it was she was thrilled to have the chance to make out with one of the guys from NEWS.”
The others were silent, and Tegoshi swallowed hard, his jaw working as he stared into the flames, but didn’t see the fire. Instead he saw Dani’s face again. The shock on her face was nothing compared to the pain and disbelief. She’d shaken her head, shut her eyes, and he knew she was trying to deny what she’d seen, but when she’d opened her eyes again he was still slowly releasing the other girl. They’d been locked in what appeared to be a rather heated embrace, kissing wildly, one of his hands sliding up the outside of her thigh, pulling the skirt she wore up at the same time. She’d been sitting on a desk, and he’d been standing between her knees, his shirt undone. A very compromising position to anyone who’d come across them, which had been the whole point.
The initial emotions on her face had given way to anger and betrayal, and he’d felt them like a physical blow. She could have stabbed him through the heart and it would have hurt less than putting that look on her face had. The only reason he hadn’t broken down then and there was because of the mantra repeating continuously in his mind; ‘It’s to protect you. It’s to protect you. It’s to protect you.’
“It’s to protect you,” Tegoshi whispered hoarsely. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to find everyone had neared.
YamaPi patted the younger male’s shoulder comfortingly. “What you did was a very manly and courageous thing.” He pulled Tegoshi to his feet, and offered a very small encouraging smile. “Take strength from it.”
Tegoshi nodded, his lips trembling as they curled up into a smile. “Thanks.”
“I don’t think I could have been so selfless,” Ryo admitted, eyeing Tegoshi with new respect. “My temper would have exploded, and I’d be out of work right now and maybe blackballed by Johnny’s.”
“Probably,” Koyama grinned at the most temperamental of them. “Then again, I don’t think I could have done it either.”
“I didn’t think I could either,” Tegoshi admitted. Taking a deep breath he glanced at YamaPi. “How about another drink? I could really go with drinking until I’m numb right now.”
…………………………..
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