Without You I'm Nothing (Chapter 39 up now!) | By : urbanephoenix Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Placebo Views: 5829 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction! I do not know any members of Placebo or their families, and I do not profit from these writings. |
I wish there was a reply option in comments, but since there isn't I'll answer questions here.
1. Thanks for pointing out my Molly/Mandy typo =p That's what happens when I update at 3 in the morning. Stef's "girlfriend" is named Mandy.
2. Regarding IM, this story takes place when Brian is 19 turning 20 so the year is 1992. Don't worry, I did my research and yes IM existed then in a basic form. That's why I didn't say MSN, or AIM or anything =p See, I get it right sometimes lol. The first IM existed in the 60s but by the late 80s early 90s was more accessable to the public. The way I'm writing it, Brian and Stef both come from well-off/wealthy families so it doesn't seem unreasonable to me that they'd each have computers/internet access.
3. I realise there's a lot of drama going on, but I promise it wont be that way forever.
4. If you want to call me out on something, please do. Most of the time I'm writing these chapters very early in the morning (after doing my uni work) so I'll be tired and just want to get my ideas out in writing. Suggestions, criticism, corrections, etc are welcome. I can hack it lol.
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STEFAN.
Saturday couldn’t come and go fast enough for Stef. Once again, he’d been the one to upset Brian. Goddamnit, why was he such a massive failure? He knew Brian would assume he’d walked out on him the previous night online. Truth be told his father had needed to use the phone. Internet was too slow anyway, not a great way to talk to someone about… well… this. Maybe one day someone will invent something so it’s possible to use the phone and the internet at the same time? Stef rolled his eyes, yeah right. That would make life way too easy.
Pulling on his jeans Stefan couldn’t feel more disgusting. He was actually going out with a girl. Mandy was nice enough, but it felt so wrong. What was worse was the reason he was doing it. Brian was right, he cared more about what these idiots thought of him than those who matter. It made him sick to his stomach. Walking out the front door, Stef felt something pull him back.
“Where are you going, young man?” his father demanded.
“To a party with some people from school.”
“A party? Where? With who?”
That was a good question. Stefan knew he was meeting Mandy on Angus Street but didn’t actually know where they were going. “Uh, it’s a school thing.” Those words sounded so fake coming from his mouth, but Stef knew they were his ticket out.
***
Mandy was waiting for him, Stef knew it was stupid for him to have hoped otherwise.
“Hey.” He muttered, trying to avoid having to kiss her again.
“You ready to go?” she squeaked. Oh god, that voice.
“Yeah sure um where are we going?” they started heading into town. Stef was confused, there was no way everybody was old enough to go to clubs, surely they were going somewhere else.
“To the Mars Bar,” Mandy smiled. “it’s the only club in town that doesn’t give a toss how old you are, as long as you’ll be buying lots of drinks.”
Stef couldn’t hold back his laughter. “Wait, we’re going to a GAY club? Far out, Matt’s going to shit himself.”
“Actually it was his idea. It’s not just for gays, Stef. Besides, we don’t have to socialize with them.” She hugged his arm tight, making Stef flinch. “What’s important is we’ll be there together!”
***
Mandy had been right. The pair walked into Mars Bar, no questions asked, greeted by the rest of their group from school, many of whom already had drinks in hand.
“There’s the happy couple!” Ryan announced on their arrival. Stef had been trying to avoid having to hold hands with Mandy, or be close to her at all, but he knew that was now not an option. Looking around the club he should have felt perfectly at home. While not an exclusively gay club, there were plenty of young men Stef could tell in a second were gay, many of them not half bad. Maybe if he didn’t spend too much time with the others he could talk to a couple?
“Let’s dance!” Mandy said, pulling Stef’s arm towards to dancefloor.
“Na um, you go ahead, I’m going to have a drink.”
Reluctantly she left and went to dance with some of the other girls. Stef hung back by the bar, sipping his beer slowly. If only he could slip away for a while, go and talk to some… his train of thought vanished as something caught Stefan’s eye. A couple, not too far away who were dancing together. They looked so… majestic.
The taller of the two had long blonde hair, almost reaching his waist. His tight white jeans would have stood out a mile away, contrasting perfectly with his dark eyes. The buttons on his silky shirt were undone enough so Stef could make out some kind of tattoo on his chest and a few on his arms. The other boy was quite a bit smaller, had long black hair and wearing leather pants which left little to the imagination. He was running his glittery nails through the blonde hair, draping over his small face. Neither of the pair could have been much older than Stef himself. Hell, that smaller boy wasn’t much bigger than… Stef almost spat his drink out. The black haired boy was wearing a lot more make-up than usual and moving his hips in a way Stefan had never imagined, but it was Brian. He was sure of it. Did he follow them there? Was this some kind of payback? Stef looked around hurriedly, nobody else had noticed. Hopefully it would stay that way. Mumbling something to his friends about going to the bathroom, he slipped away. He just wanted to leave. ‘Maybe I could fake sick?’ he wondered, pushing the door to the mens’ room. He stopped, feeling somebody tap him on the back.
“What are you doing here?” Brian asked. “Don’t you have a ‘girlfriend’ to take to some party?”
He was visibly pissed off, and rightly so, Stef though. “Yeah, they’re all here.”
Brian laughed. “What? You and your gay-bashing friends are at a GAY club? Are you guys even old enough? That’s priceless.” There was callous in his voice as he spat those final words.
Stef saw Brian’s friend coming to join them. “Hey, baby,” he said, looking down at Brian. “What’s keeping you?”
“I just ran into a friend.” The smaller boy smiled, but it wasn’t the warm or cheeky smile Stef was used to. “Michael, this is Stefan.”
“Nice to meet you, Stefan.” Michael smiled, holding out a hand. God he was beautiful, his blue eyes so full of warmth.
“Yeah, uh same.”
“Michael, how about we leave? I think Stefan has some ‘friends’ he needs to get back to.” Brian said, still looking at Stef. Not waiting for a reply, he grabbed Michael’s hand and led him out. Stef rested his head on the wall. This night was not going well.
BRIAN.
Oh the nerve. This was supposed to be his chance to get over Stef for good, and he turns up at the same club. A GAY club no less, with all of his homophobic buddies. Brian was pissed off but determined not to let this run-in ruin his night. He’d only met Michael earlier in the evening, but they’d hit it off instantly. He was sweet, funny and totally gorgeous. Everything Brian wanted. He didn’t need Stefan bloody Olsdal. “Where should we go?” he asked sweetly, looking up at his new friend.
“We could always go back to my place,” Michael smiled wickedly. “it’s not far.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“What’s the deal with that friend of yours anyway? I would have thought he was ga-“
“He is,” Brian sighed angrily. “He’s too scared to tell his idiot friends though. So scared he’s even got a girlfriend.”
Michael laughed. “Shame, he’s a good looking guy.” He laced his fingers through Brian’s and quickly added, “But he hasn’t got anything on you.”
This cheered Brian up. He hadn’t felt so wanted since… well, when? He had thought Stef wanted him for him, and not just because he was horny. Who knew what he really wanted now. Brian could have dealt with them having a secret relationship, he could have dealt with them being just friends, but he wouldn’t tolerate being with a gay boy with a girlfriend. That was too much.
After walking for about ten minutes, the pair came to a small apartment block. It wasn’t much, but who was he to judge? He would have killed for a place of his own. Michael’s apartment was exactly how Brian would have his. Everything in perfect order and absolutely spotless. The only exception being a corner of the main room where dozens of pieces of poster paper were laid out on the floor, some hanging from the window, covered in paint, drying. Michael’s paintings were hauntingly beautiful, Brian thought. They reminded him of his own music.
“So,” Michael started, “welcome to my humble abode.”
Wandering through the rooms, Brian noticed there wasn’t a single door besides the one they’d come through. All the wardrobes and cupboards were like open shelves, each room leading directly onto another.
The bedroom was the nicest room in the house. The large bed was covered in beautiful purple sheets, paintings hanging from the wall, everything was perfect, and looked very expensive. Brian had to ask, “How can you afford this?”
“Drugs.” Michael replied casually. “Wait, is that a problem?”
Brian shrugged. “No, just wondering. You sell, then?”
“Not many options for a 21 year old college student who wears eyeliner and has hair longer than most girls.” He smiled, running his hand softly down Brian’s back, making the smaller boy shiver.
“Can I see your tattoos?”
Michael laughed, taking off his shirt. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Brian couldn’t help but gasp. Michael had a gorgeous body. He was very slim, but his strong, broad shoulders made him look bigger. Tattoos covering his shoulders, chest and upper arms, wrapping themselves around the skin.
“Can I see YOUR tattoos?”
“I don’t have any.” Brian blushed.
“Can you take your shirt off anyway?” Michael asked, slowly undoing the buttons. “Mmm, don’t get any tattoos,” he said softly, looking down at Brian’s now bare chest. “you’re perfect as you are.” He gently pushed Brian back on the bed, kneeling over him.
STEFAN.
“Stef, you alright mate?” Ryan asked. Stefan snapped out of his daydream, realizing he must have been leaning against the wall for far longer than he’d intended. “Come on, we’re going back to Nate’s house.”
“Wha? Oh, yeah sure…” Stef muttered, following him back to the group. He should just go home before he had time to screw something else up.
***
By the time they arrived at Nathan’s house, a dozen or so people were already there, well and truly drunk. “Come on, I have something for you!” Mandy said excitedly, pulling Stef out of the cab and into the house.
“Oh god…” Stefan muttered, grabbing a beer as he was dragged up the stairs. He was going to need it.
“Sit there.” She instructed, pointing to the bed, before they were even fully in the bedroom.
Stef did as he was told. He knew where this was going and that was definitely not going to happen. “Mandy…” he said as she started undoing her dress.
“Yes, baby?”
“Mandy don’t.”
She looked confused, but didn’t stop fiddling with the zipper. “Why not?” her dress dropped to the ground, leaving her standing in skimpy red lingerie and heels. “You know, Stef,” she said seductively, taking a few small steps towards him. “I’ve always really fancied you.” She was leaning over him now and Stefan couldn’t have felt more uncomfortable.
“Uh, Mandy, could you put your clothes um… back on?”
“But why would you want that?”
“Look, Mandy just stop it!” Stef yelled, getting up and pushing her away.
“What’s wrong with you?! Most guys would jump at this chance, you’re not even the least bit turned on!” her face dropped suddenly. “Oh god, I’m ugly!”
Stefan sighed, rolling his eyes. He was gay, he shouldn’t have to put up with this female bullshit. “You’re not ugly, Mandy. It’s just… I…” ‘DO IT! TELL HER!’ Stef’s mind was screaming. This was the perfect chance to just tell her, and the rest of them. Get it out there, over and done with. No… he couldn’t… “I’m just not ready. This is moving too fast.”
Mandy smiled. “Aww, aren’t you sweet!” she started pulling up her dress. “Well, baby, I can wait until you’re ready.”
‘You fucking wuss,’ Stef could have kicked himself. ‘that was your chance!’
“Um baaaaaaaaby,” Mandy cooed. Oh god, why couldn’t she just drop it? “is it ok if I tell people something DID happen? I mean, I kinda already told my girlfriends that tonight was the night.”
“Yeah, fine, whatever. Look Mandy, I gotta go home.” Stefan said hurriedly, not really paying attention.
“But we just got here!” she protested.
“I’ll talk to you on Monday, gotta run.”
BRIAN.
In what felt like no time at all, Brian found himself lying on his back, naked on Michael’s bed. The larger boy pressed up on him gently kissing his neck. He was so gentle, and clearly knew exactly what he was doing. “Wait,” Brain breathed softly, pushing long blonde hair out of his face. “Michael, I… I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I like you a lot and I don’t want something to happen now that’ll mean we can’t umm…” Brian you idiot, stop sounding like a child.
Michael smiled. “Bri, are you saying you want something more than just a mindless shagging?”
“Yeah, I think so…” he muttered before he felt those soft lips back upon his, warming him from the inside out.
“I’d like that. Very much.”
MICHAEL AND BRIAN.
That was all Brian needed to hear. He wrapped his arms back around Michael’s neck, pulling him close and rolling on top of him. He ran his hands down the larger boy’s chest, tracing the outline the dragon who lived there, making its way down to his stomach.
Michael grabbed hold of the smaller boy’s behind, pulling him up to his hips, shivering as he felt their semi-hard cocks rub together. “What do you want, gorgeous?” he asked. “Anything you want.”
Nobody had ever asked Brian that before. More often than not he’d just been a convenient fuck. “I don’t really know.” He said honestly.
“Tell you what, I’ll do my thing, and if you think of anything, let me know.”
He was falling in love with Michael’s smile. It was so warm and genuine, it lit up his whole face.
The taller boy pulled Brian off him, handling him like he might break. Just looking down at his perfect figure was almost enough to get Michael aroused enough to go for it. Gently rubbing lubricant on his shaft, he could just make out Brian’s face, dimly lit by a lamp outside. It was so innocent, looking up at him with those beautiful eyes. “Are you ready?”
Brian nodded and almost instantly felt a wet finger pushing into him. Cringing slightly, he tried to relax and get used to the intrusion. He felt another finger enter him, and then another. He smiled at Michael, letting him know he was ready to take him, and spread his legs open wider.
Michael leant in, planting a soft kiss on Brian’s forehead. “I have to be honest with you,” he whispered. “I don’t know how long I can last with someone like you.”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
Ever so slowly, Michael pushed his way inside of Brian, watching his face scrunch up at the pain. “Ok?”
“Yep.” Brian replied through a clinched jaw. “Ahh, yes, all good.”
Michael started thrusting, holding his lover’s legs against his chest tight. He could tell he was doing something right. Brian’s hands were gripping the pillow under his head hard, pulling at it in pleasure.
Michael pulled almost all the way out each time, slamming back in hard, causing Brian's entire body to shake. But it wasn't violent, it was almost sweet. Brian could tell the taller boy was trying his hardest to hold back as much as possible, that he didn't want to be selfish and actually wanted Brian to enjoy himself.
Brian had had several sexual partners before this, but Michael was different, he had technique. He’d hit the jackpot. “Faster.” He commanded, well aware neither of them would last very long. It didn’t matter, it felt good.
Speeding up, the blonde slipped his left hand down Brian’s leg and took hold of his erection. His hand still partially covered in lube, it slipped up and down the shaft easily, causing Brian’s eyes to widen, and his body tense up at the touch. “Michael… that’s… so…” not knowing how to finish that sentence cohesively, Brian just moaned as he felt the pace speed up, Michael’s cock ever so slightly brushing against that sensitive spot inside of him.
“Bri… I don’t think…. I…”
“It’s ok, me neither.”
“Quickie it is then.” Michael smiled, tilting his head back and grabbing hold of Brian’s legs again. He pushed himself inside of the smaller boy as far as he could, forcing his delicate body up the bed and almost into the bed head. “B…Bri if… you’re not careful… I’m gonna…” but before he could finish the sentence, Brian exploded all over him, just in time too.
Brian felt his entire body warm up as his orgasm hit him. Sweat rolling down his brow, his limbs limp and useless. Seconds later he felt that familiar warmth in his behind as Michael collapsed half on top of him.
“Tha…t was pretty intense… for a quicky Bri.” He said breathlessly.
“I'd been almost ready to blow since we were at the club, dancing with a sexy guy like you." Brian giggled. "I’ll make you work for it next time.” he smiled, kissing his partner's cheek.
Rolling over, Michael placed his hand on the back of Brian’s head, running his hands through his hair. “Brian? Will you… stay?”
“You mean it?” he asked, sitting up slightly in surprise.
“Of course. I would love nothing more than to wake up next to you in the morning.
”
Brian was speechless. This was just too easy. He lay back down and snuggled into the pillow, arms wrapped firmly around Michael’s waist. “Yes… I’ll stay.”
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A/N: I was starting to make myself depressed with all of Brian's bad luck so felt it was time for his fortunes to change. Thoughts? Comments? Criticism? All that jazz...
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