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Tainted Love	By : FlameWolf666 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Marilyn Manson Views: 3468 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Marilyn Manson or anything affiliated with him or the band. I don't know any of these famous people in real life and none of this story happened. This is fiction and just for fun. I make no profit from this.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Author's Note: I know not a lot happened last chapter story wise but sometimes exposition is needed. I promise something happens this chapter!

Chapter Ten: Here Without You
Everything had been unpacked and Amanda was currently trying to get Mystery to chase a laser when there was a knock on the door. Raven shot to her feet immediately, going to the door to open it. On the other side stood Johnny, a goofy smile on his goateed face. “Hey Johnny! Come on in!” Raven exclaimed, her eyes flicking to the large bags in his hands as she moved out of the way.
“Thanks! Hey Amanda!” he called cheerfully, waving to the woman who was peering at him shyly over the back of the couch.
A sharp bark startled all of them as they all looked at the medium sized canine sniffing Johnny's jeans. The fluffy dog wagged her curly tail once before simply trotting back to the room. “Well, Lady has deemed you alright,” Raven chuckled, reaching for the sketchbook on the table in the dining area.
“Of course she has!” Amanda chirped, coming into the kitchen. Her green eyes wandered over Johnny's sleek form in appreciation. Of course, with her friend being about as subtle as a bright neon light, Johnny noticed right away that she was ogling him. His eyebrows quirking in a mischievous way, the actor straightened and smiled at the curly haired woman.
Raven groaned and face-palmed as she watched Johnny. He was about to attempt to fluster Amanda, something that was admittedly a very bad idea. Something Johnny was about to find out the hard way. Pulling out a page of her sketchbook and hiding it behind her back, the black haired female turned to watch. Oh, Johnny was gonna get thrown for a loop!
Amanda was watching Johnny's body language as well, the gears in her mind turning. She wasn't as easily flustered as her friend. In fact she often turned the attempt around on the person. A small smile curled her lips as Johnny approached. The man had the look of extreme confidence on his face and she nearly snickered.
Instead of letting the actor come to her, Amanda marched up to Johnny and wrapped her arms around his waist. The look of utter surprise on his face was priceless and they all broke into laughter, breaking the silence of the moment. “Unlike my friend there,” Amanda quipped with a jerk of her curl haloed head toward Raven, “I stand up for myself.”
“I resemble that remark,” Raven replied dryly with a wide grin. She lightly punched Amanda's arm in mock anger before turning to look at Johnny. All of a sudden she wasn't so sure about giving him her gift.
“What are you hiding there?” he asked, raising a delicate brow as he looked at the hand she still held behind her back.
“Oh! Erm, uh well,” Raven stammered, blushing and scuffing the floor with a platform boot. Suddenly she felt very small and awkward. A sharp nudge in the ribs from Amanda broke her out of her panic cycle. With a grateful look to her friend, Raven looked up at Johnny timidly.
“I wanted to er… thank you for the hotel room and the limo driver. I know you went through a lot of trouble to set up our rooms the way you did,” Raven murmured, her voice getting quieter and quieter as she brought the hand around to her front. In her hand was a piece of paper with something drawn on it.
With gentle hands, Johnny took the large piece of sketch paper and examined what was drawn on it. It was a picture of what looked to be some sort of animal/human hybrid that looked eerily like him in some ways. “I drew what I thought you would look like as an animal. You’re a fox/ferret hybrid because you’re so mischievous,” Raven explained, unable to look at him out of mortification. What had she been thinking?! There was no way Johnny Depp was going to like being drawn as an animal.
“Huh, I can actually kinda see that. You did a great job making it look like me too. Thank you Raven,” Johnny responded gently, giving her a loose hug.
“Y-you’re welcome,” Raven stuttered, a light blush coloring her cheeks. Today Johnny smelled of an ocean breeze mixed with musk and she had to resist the urge to rub her face on the green material of his t-shirt.
“I got you a present too. Well, more like a present for all of us. I also brought the games you left behind,” Johnny announced, letting go of Raven to walk over to the bags he set down on the floor.
While both females watched, Johnny pulled out the two games he had gotten for Raven just yesterday. With everything that had happened, yesterday felt like a million years ago to the black haired female. All of a sudden she found Manson’s absence all but unbearable. Trying to distract herself by watching Johnny dig around in the other bag, Raven couldn’t help but wish it was Manson there instead.
Finally, with a flourish, Johnny set two systems on the table. One was an SNES and the other was an N64. Three controllers for each system as well as a few multiplayer games were also placed on the table. “I thought it would be nice to have something to do while you’re waiting for your house to be fixed,” he announced with a huge grin.
“Oh thank you! This will make the whole thing even more fun!” Amanda exclaimed, hugging the tall actor around his waist.
“Thanks so much Johnny. Why don’t you guys go get set up? I want to make a call,” Raven murmured with a small smile. All she wanted to do right now was to hear Manson’s voice or even know that the tour bus hadn’t crashed in the few hours he had been gone.
The forlorn look on her face didn’t escape Johnny. With a look at the now distracted Raven, the actor wrapped an arm around Amanda’s red t-shirt clad shoulders and began to whisper in her ear. The curly haired female looked confused at first, then began to grin. What he had in mind would definitely distract Raven from missing Manson.
‘Last Day on Earth’ began to blare from the singer’s black phone and he nearly dove to grab it from his dresser. Flipping the phone open, he nearly pressed the answer button when he thought the better of it. He had to be in a certain mindset while on stage, which meant he had to stay in character as much as possible. Something he knew he couldn’t do around Raven. So, with a huge wrench to his heart, he called for Ginger and gave him the phone.
The make-up wearing drummer took one look at the name on the display and immediately answered it. “Hey Raven,” he greeted as cheerfully as he dared with Manson still glowering at him from the bedroom door.
“Oh, hey Ginger. Why didn’t Manson pick up?” Raven asked, trying and failing to hide her disappointment.
“Oh, he wanted to but he has to stay in character. A character that can be a bit nasty,” Ginger responded, looking at Manson nervously. If looks could kill, the drummer was sure he would be nothing but a pile of cinders.
“Does that mean I won’t get to speak to him the whole time?” Raven whispered, feeling her heart crash through the tile. She wasn’t sure if she could handle a couple months with no contact at all.
“Well, most of the time. Its the times he does answer that you’ll have to worry,” Ginger sighed, running a shaky hand through his bleach blonde hair. He could feel the singer literally glaring daggers at him and he hoped he would be able to get out of this in one piece.
Raven took a moment to ponder Ginger’s words. A whole slew of possibilities flew through her head, almost all of them dirty in some way. A delicious shudder going through her frame, Raven found she didn’t object to any of them. “So, did Amanda like her room?” Ginger whispered shyly, obviously trying to hide what he was saying from the others.
“I thought you had something to do with that,” Raven responded, a smile on her pale face, “Yes, she loved it.”
“Good. Well I have to get going. Manson is starting to look really antsy,” the drummer stated, sounding nervous. Manson loomed over him, his mismatched eyes glaring down at the smaller man.
“Okay, be safe. Tell him I love him,” the black haired female whispered into the phone, closing her hazel eyes as two tears escaped.
After Raven had hung up she was immediately swooped down upon by Johnny and Amanda. “We’re going to have fun and try to forget about our worries,” Amanda grouched playfully, steering Raven toward the living room. Then she was promptly forced to sit on the couch and had an N64 controller shoved into her hands.
“Okay, what’s first,” Raven replied in defeat, feeling very grateful for the presence of Johnny and Amanda at that moment.
A water bottle flew across the dressing room as Manson let out an especially venomous curse. The band watched their leader warily, looking ready to run at a moment’s notice. It had only been a week and his temper had steadily gotten worse and worse as the tour wore on. All of them suspected it was from him refusing to take any groupies. Manson had always been a bit of a sex fiend and for him to outright refuse free sex when it was thrown at him was highly unusual. Certainly the added tension didn’t help the situation.
His performances had also begun to get downright sexual. Often he would begin to grind against his mic stand and devolved from there. It almost turned into him outright masturbating on stage, not that any of the fans had minded. Apparently word had gotten out about his odd performances and tonight’s show was utterly packed. Ginger, who was one of the members that bore the brunt of Manson’s less testosterone fueled stage tantrums, almost dreaded taking the stage.
John and Tim were exchanging wary glances while they put on their bright red lipstick. Since both of them were on the ground with Manson they would bear the brunt of his sexual assaults. After what had happened the past two shows, they also dreaded taking the stage. Only Pogo seemed to be completely at home. He even whistled as he gelled his bleach blonde mohawk. The other three members stared at him like he was insane while Manson tightened the ties on his corset. “Let’s get this shit over with,” Manson hissed, his shoulder length hair hanging in his make-up covered face as he stomped to the stage.
“I should have picked the photograph. It lasted longer than you,” Manson hissed the last lines of the song into the mic. He lay on his back on the stage, a hand between his legs while his hips thrusted lewdly. His burning, lust-filled, mismatched eyes were fixed on a black haired female in the front row. She caught him looking at her and looked away shyly, exactly like Raven would have done.
Jumping gracefully to his feet, showing off his g-string covered, rock hard erection to the screaming audience in the process, Manson waved for a security guard’s attention. Once the man was looking at him, the singer pointed to the female who was now looking at him with utter disbelief. “Bring her to the back,” he hissed into the mic before tossing it into the crowd. John, who had been grinded against, humped and generally assaulted throughout the show, watched the singer warily as he stalked off the stage. John felt very bad for the poor female who was going to be his companion for the night. Manson had never held off on sex for so long, so no one knew exactly what the singer would do.
Raven sat on the white couch, wrapped in a deep red blanket and staring blankly at the dark TV set. She hadn’t eaten in a couple days and hadn’t slept in one. With a sigh, the black haired female looked at the deep red phone in her hand. She hadn’t called in a week, thinking it was best to just leave Manson alone right now.
Amanda watched Raven’s still form with concern on her pale face. She had taken the last few days off just to keep an eye on her friend. Despite Johnny and her best efforts, Raven had slipped slowly into a deep depression. It didn’t help that Johnny had gotten called to do a movie. That actor hadn’t wanted to go but had eventually caved due to Raven’s insistence. As Amanda watched her friend, Amanda began to wonder if she should call Johnny or Manson.
Ginger stared at the dressing room door with concern written on his make-up covered, acne scarred face. Female wails and male growls came from behind the shut door making him even more concerned. It almost sounded as if the singer was hurting the female. John, who was leaning against a wall opposite the door, shook his head sharply when Ginger reached to knock. “He’ll be done soon. You know as well as I do that it isn’t smart to interrupt him,” the guitarist grumbled, looking off to the side.
As if on cue all the noise within stopped and the door opened. The female Manson had dragged from the crowd was practically thrown out of the room, stumbling on her feet before crashing into the wall John was leaning on. She whipped her head around to stare at the door with hurt filled hazel eyes as it slammed shut. “Wh-why,” she squeaked out, her legs shaking badly as tears rolled down her pale cheeks.
“I’m sorry. Come on, lets go get you something to eat,” Ginger suggested gently, leading the distraught female away by the arm.
John 5 watched the sobbing girl’s retreating back with sympathy before turning to glare at the closed door. He didn’t like what he had to do but for the girl’s sake as well as Manson’s he had to make sure the singer hadn’t raped the woman. “Manson, open up,” John yelled, pounding on the wood of the door.
The door slowly opened, revealing an ominously dark room. “Marilyn?” John whispered, suddenly feeling very unsure as he slowly stuck his head in. His brown eyes flitted to a dark figure sitting on a couch with one leg propped up on the other.
“I know what you’re going to ask,” came a hoarse, throaty hiss from the silhouette. Slowly the shadowy figure got to its feet, moving across to the silhouette of a large mirror dresser.
“W-well?” John asked timidly, liking the atmosphere of that dark room less and less. There was a distinct feeling of danger in the room as the shadow of the singer looked like he was leaning on the counter of the dresser while facing the mirror.
“Everything we did was consensual. She was just upset that I called her ‘Raven’ when I came,” he snarled, his voice oddly quiet, “Now, get out.”
John didn’t have to be told twice, pulling his head out of the room as he shut the door. In his rush to get away he backed into Tim. The bassist looked at him with a concerned look before looking at the door. Understanding came into his brown eyes as he turned back to John. “Buckle up buttercup! Its gonna be a rough night,” exclaimed Pogo with glee as he approached the pair. Apparently the keyboardist had seen everything from a hiding spot around a corner.
“Pogo, although utterly insane, you’re right. Manson wasn’t acting normal in there. We’ll have to start preparing for a situation even worse than Dita calling,” John sighed, rubbing his temples as a headache began to form.
After much convincing as well as coercion, Amanda had finally managed to get Raven to go out with her. Keeping a close eye on her depressed friend as she trudged along, the curly haired woman inwardly sighed. She hoped that a normal day at the mall would be enough to distract Raven from missing Manson so much. Even in her other relationships Raven had never been good with separation.
Raven browsed around a little asian store they had found in the mall, stopping to sniff the various incense. Despite still feeling like there was an aching void in her heart, the melancholy female began to enjoy herself. She loved looking at all the dragon statues as well as the few Anubis ones they had. Picking out a few of her favorite scents, Raven went to the counter to purchase them.
The asian lady behind the counter stared at her with her mouth open for several moments before beginning to scan her purchases. Wondering what had caused that reaction, Raven caught a glimpse of a magazine laying open near the register. ‘Marilyn Manson’s New Lover Seen with Actor Johnny Depp at Love Nest’ the bold black headline of the article screamed. Doing a bit of a double take at the title, Raven looked at the picture they had gotten. It was of Johnny arriving at her hotel room with the large bags and her opening the door for him. “That will be two dolla,” the cashier said in a thick asian accent, having the decency to look properly abashed for what she was reading.
Effectively broken out of her mortification, Raven quickly handed her the money and nearly ran from the store. Running to another store front and stopping to wait for Amanda, Raven leaned against the cool brick of the store. As Amanda poked her head out of the asian store looking for her, Raven noticed more and more people looking her way. Almost all of them had a look of recognition and some even began to point her out.
A familiar feeling of panic beginning to fill her, Raven made a hurry up motion to Amanda while keeping an eye on the ever growing crowd around her. More and more of them were beginning to mutter about her, some of the women looking over her body with a sneer on their faces. Raven could just guess what they were thinking and felt a desperate need to flee. Thankfully Amanda wasn’t blind to the forming situation and hurried to her friend’s side. “Er, let’s get you out of here,” Amanda whispered, looking at the steadily growing crowd with unease.
“That’s the best idea I heard all day,” Raven replied, beginning to speed walk to the exit with Amanda close on her heels.
Manson slammed the door to the tour bus open, stomping into the huge, camper-like vehicle. Pogo followed right behind the irate singer, whistling merrily while carting one of his drums over one shoulder. The other three followed several moments later, giving Manson a huge berth. They had never seen him in such a temper and they were honestly afraid of their leader. They watched him warily as they sat in chairs far away from him.
Still clad in his stage clothes, Manson dug in the cabinet until he pulled out two familiar looking bottles. Ginger made to stand, looking ready to say something, until a hand harshly gripped his wrist. Stopping halfway out of his chair, the drummer looked over to see John staring at him with wide, fear-filled brown eyes. His bleach blonde hair swaying, John gave a single, sharp shake of his head. Still looking at Manson with concern, Ginger sat back down.
Gathering the bottles against his near bare chest, Manson retreated to the back room and slammed the door. As the tour bus started with a loud rumble, the singer took a long swig from the Vodka bottle. A low growl escaped him as he pulled the bottle free from his black lipstick smeared lips. Setting the bottles on the floor near the bed, the performer let out a low moan that sounded like a growl. Lines of kohl running down his white cheeks from unbidden tears, Manson gripped his head in both his hands as he hunched forward. “I’m sorry Raven,” he hissed quietly through gritted teeth.
Underneath all the rage was a deep guilt that ate at him like an acid. A guilt he couldn’t feel right now. He had several more shows to go and he had to stay in character through it all. If he slipped even a little, his reputation would be gone. With a frustrated growl, he took a deep sip from the Absinthe bottle and shuddered. It baffled him that he even felt guilt. He had been blindsided by it before he left but he had never expected to feel it while in his carefully crafted stage persona. “What the fuck is she doing to me?!” he snarled, taking another hit from the Vodka bottle.
Raven leaned against the closed and locked hotel door, panting heavily with a pale hand fisted in the black material of her t-shirt. The entire way back from the mall she had been extremely paranoid, hunching low in the seat of the taxi whenever traffic slowed. As soon as they had stopped she had bolted out of the yellow car and up to their room. With her heart still beating entirely too fast, the black haired female went into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water from the fridge with shaky hands.
Going to the living room on unsteady legs, Raven sat on the white couch and took a sip of the icy water. Lady came trotting out of the room, making a concerned noise before hopping in her master’s lap. Beginning to calm down, the black haired woman smiled and began to pet the mutt in her lap. Soon after that Amanda came in, locking the door behind her. “You okay Megs?” she asked unsurely, heading towards the couch.
“My name’s Raven,” came the tired, yet exasperated response.
“Okay ‘Raven’, are you okay?” Amanda repeated, looking extremely frustrated as she moved to sit by her friend.
“Yeah, I guess,” Raven responded quietly, scratching behind one of Lady’s floppy ears.
Amanda looked at her room mate closely, not liking how pale or strained she looked. What had happened today had really unsettled the shy woman beside her. She found herself wondering how her friend would handle it when Manson made their relationship official. The press would explode and poor Raven would more than likely get caught in the explosion. “It’s just a lot to take in ya know. Just a few days ago no one would have looked at me twice. Now…” the still shaking woman started to say, cutting herself off with a shudder as her black hair hung in her face.
“Hey, it’ll be okay,” Amanda tried to assure, her brown curls moving around her neck as she gather Raven into a tight hug.
“Will it?” she asked quietly, the emotionless tone of her voice scaring the shit out of the other woman.
“Wh-what do you mean Me- er, Raven,” Amanda whispered, tightening her hold on her friend. The fluffy black dog on Raven’s lap, sensing the tension, looked up at the two women with dim concern.
“Amanda, the guy is a highly sexual, rage machine. He’s powerful, sexy and the press follows him around like a pack of rabid hounds. He’s infamous for his temper as well as his appetite for groupies,” Raven murmured dully, her black hair hiding her expression from her friend.
“And…?” the curly haired woman asked, blinking her green eyes in confusion. Her friend had known all of this before getting into a relationship with the singer. Why was she suddenly having a problem now?
“Amanda, I can’t even bare to look at myself in the mirror while clothed, let alone letting someone I’ve admired for most of my life seeing me naked. I don’t know if I’ll ever give him the relationship he deserves. Also there’s the nice fact that angry men cause me to almost have a nervous breakdown. Top that all off with the fact that I’m incredibly shy and the idea of the paparazzi following me around legitimately scares the piss outta me and we got a shit sundae of a situation,” Raven murmured quietly, shooing the dog off her lap as she got to her feet.
Walking over to the huge window that over-looked the city, Raven looked at the curtain rather than the view. Heights always made her woozy so it was best she not look out the window. Sensing Amanda coming up behind her, the dark haired female turned her head to the side slightly and fixed her friend with a haunted look. “Raven, that’s not all that’s bothering you is it,” Amanda whispered, not quite looking Raven in the eye as she fiddled with the hem of her purple t-shirt.
Raven went stiff, turning around to look at Amanda with a mix of shock and hurt. Though she couldn’t exactly say it wasn’t true. A lot of her past relationships had left her emotionally scarred and a bit hesitant to be with anyone. She almost always expected relationships to end horribly now. Anger fading into consideration, Raven actually began to think. Was she dooming this relationship before it started because of her past. Before she could reply back to Amanda ‘Last Day on Earth’ began to play from her deep red phone.
Plucking her phone out of her black jeans pocket and looking at the device with an almost dread, Raven looked up at Amanda. “Aren’t you going to answer it?” Amanda asked curiously, tilting her head to the side so her brown curls flounced around her head.
“I-I’m not sure I should,” Raven whispered, looking at the still ringing phone as if it was a snake that was going to bite her.
“Why not? You’ve been pining over him for the past few weeks and now he’s finally calling you,” her friend huffed, throwing her arms up in the air in defeat.
“Its not that I don’t want to talk to him, its just Ginger warned me about this,” the hazel eyed female murmured as the voicemail finally picked up.
“Oh,” Amanda responded quietly, a light blush on her cheeks. A fact that wasn’t lost on Raven.
She was just about to pry just a bit when the phone began to ring again. Knowing he wouldn’t stop until she answered, Raven flipped open her small phone and pressed the answer button. “Hello?” she whispered, trying to keep her voice steady and desperately hoping to hear Ginger’s voice reply.
“Why the fuck didn’t you answer,” came a deadly hiss from the other line. The pure iciness of his voice caused a lance of fear to pierce straight through her heart.
Her voice left her in a breathless squeak as her hazel eyes went wide and her heart began to gallop in her chest. She had never ever heard him this angry, not even when Dita had spilled her personal information to the press jackals. “You best answer me right now little girl,” came a quiet, darkly deadly sounding command.
“I-I-I… G-G-Gin..,” Raven stammered feeling her speech faculties begin to fail as she began to freeze up. Cold fear and all out blind panic began to fill her at the intense power of his rage.
“Speak up and stop fucking stuttering!” he roared suddenly, tension and rage present in every word he spoke.
“G-Ginger… h-he w-warned m-me,” she finally answered, shaking like a leaf as terrified tears ran down her pale cheeks.
Noticing Raven’s growing distress, Amanda moved toward her friend with a frown on her face. If the asshole thought he was going to bully her childhood friend while she was around, he had another thing coming. “Give me the phone Raven,” she growled, reaching to take the deep red cellphone from her closest friend.
Raven shook her head sharply in response, stepping away from her. She had a feeling that if the phone was taken it would only make things that much worse. “Fuck Ginger and his warnings. You listen to me! From now on you answer when I call you,” the singer ordered, sounding all too much like Raven’s abusive father.
“I-I-I’m s-sorry,” she whispered, her entire body shaking as she fought to stay on her feet. Her extremities had gone entirely numb and tingly from the sheer terror she was feeling. The memories that flashed through her mind didn’t help either. She knew she was going to have horrible nightmares.
“Raven, give me that phone!” Amanda yelled, lunging for the phone her friend yelled. Whatever Manson was saying to her, he was going to cause a complete break if he didn’t stop. She also wanted to give the ass a piece of her mind. No one hurted Raven this badly!
Raven dodged away from the curly haired female before using her limited strength to sprint for her room. Once inside, she closed and locked the door behind her. A small sob escaped her lips and she clapped a hand over her mouth. More panic filled her as the thought of the trouble that small utterance had gotten her into. “Raven….?” came a gruff voice that started to sound a bit unsure.
Another, slightly more hysterical sounding, sob escaped her as she went to her knees. Her entire body shook helplessly as fear and panic finally overwhelmed her. All the memories of her father and what the man had done to her filled her mind, breaking the proverbial dam as she began to sob in earnest. “Oh god, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, clutching the phone tightly, “I’ll be good, I promise.” She nearly finished with ‘just don’t hurt me daddy’ but remembered who she was talking to just in time.
“Raven?! Oh god what did I do? Oh shit, Raven, hun please. Oh fuck, I’m so sorry,” Manson responded, guilt and regret filling his voice. From the sounds of it, what he had said to Raven while in his stage persona had brought up some bad memories. He had uttered those same words many a time himself in his parent’s ‘loving home.’
Raven froze a bit at the apology, a bit of the sheer panic fading. “M-marilyn, I have to go for a bit,” she whispered, closing her hazel eyes as more tears escaped. What had happened had brought up a lot of painful memories and all she wanted was to be alone. She also wanted some time away from Manson to calm down. Without waiting for his response, she simply closed the phone.
Manson looked at his black phone with a mix of extreme guilt and sorrow. The things he had said to Raven, let alone the way he had said them, made him feel extremely bad. Throwing the phone off to the side, Manson took a long drag out of the Absinthe bottle. He was beginning to think that maybe the best thing he could do for Raven would be to let her go.
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Tainted Love