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Tony Loves Benji	By : MyBloodItches Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Good Charlotte Views: 2466 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Good Charlotte. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Slut. S. L. U. T. I looked in the mirror at myself. How Disgusting. I was absolutely appalled by the way I looked in the reflection of myself. I didn't deserve better because I was no better, than the disgusting label on my chest. He was right.

I think people started to notice- the change in my behavior- the paranoia that I sometimes developed around others, the lack of motivation. It should have been painfully obvious- in my own opinion. I stopped showing my face at social functions, an action completely opposite of something I’d normally of done. I was becoming a person who was nothing like the person I really felt inside. Something inside of me just broke.

And my family- that was the worst of it all. I’d still not spoke to them, I guess mostly out of fear. Fear that they thought of me as being just as sick as I felt. It was like I was trapped in some dream and I couldn’t seem to wake up- isn't it funny how that is an analogy that gets used so often? I had no reason to complain- because this was what I’d wanted right? This was who I’d sacrificed everything for- and still, I wa hap happy. Isn’t it funny how sometimes we long for something for so long it becomes a desire. But then once we’ve got it- it doesn’t seem to shine as beautifully as it had been built up in our minds to be.

Tony Lovato was a beast- deep down inside him was a nasty disposition, something kept him from being at peace. Something made him come the monster he was, and it was something he kept locked inside.

Whatever the reason- he’d never opened up to me- he’d never even admit he had a problem. Because of people like me, caught in his trap. He was well away that I was crazy for him- I guess he kept me around for that reason. I let him kick me around- he loved itt wht what about me?

I was going crazy, I think. I couldn’t eat- let alone keep weight on my frame. Had troubles sleeping- had anxiety most of every second of the day. I was just a mess. And physically it was taking its toll. I looked almost dead, eyes sunken into dark discolored sockets- mouth dry, cracking around the corners- split in every area I’d received a hit from my significant other. I just looked so worn out. Drained- I’d been completely drained of ever ounce of emotion.

“Get out of here, I gotta piss.” Tony’s less than comforting voice brought me from my daze- and of coarse I felt the bathroom come colliding into my side- as he pushed his way through the doorway. I frowned holding my arm as he looked at me in the mirror- standing directly behind me. He smiled to me- that million dollar smile- teeth glittering in the light. I sighed wishing I could be as beautiful as he was, just for once I could know what being perfect felt like.

“You look like shit.” He snickered before planting a kiss along my cheek. My face flushed red burning slightly in the spot where his lips had previously rested. I Felt so self conscious in his presence, so unsure.

“And you’re so fucking beautiful.” I reply unfazed- still gazing at myself through the mirror as he proceeded to throw up the toilet seat to relieve himself .

“You’re perfect too ya know?” He mouthed to me as he leaned himself against the wall- bracing himself with his free hand. And that’s how he did it- each and ever time- he could make my heart just melt. A comment thrown out so randomly, if you’d of blinked you’d of probably missed it- but it was there. Perfect- what a dream, to be absolutely perfect to him.- for him. “You just fuck up from time to time- but its okay.” He went on to explain while zipping his pants- making quick to flush the toilet before sauntering back to me- running his inked hand across the lacerations on my chest. The grotesque markings slightly lighter in color than the rest of my skin. A permanent reminder of the things I’d done wrong. More so- the label I’d brought on myself.

He smiled admiring his carefully done work- almost as if to him the tagging made me more attractive in his eyes. Like a two year old who’d gotten a shiny new toy.

“I’m disgusting.” I announced to no one in particular, never taking my eyes from the reflection of myself. I half expected hi agr agree- before making a hurtful remark. But then as his eyes connected with mine for the first time- I saw something in those blue eyes- that I use to see. A soft glimmer. Those deep blue eyes heavily blood shot and sedated, just lazily gazing to me.

“You aren’t disgusting. You’re beautiful.” He assured me while trailing his hands down my bare back. The sensation of his tinngernger tips on my spinal column sent a chill following directly behind. How crazy his mere tououldould seem to make me.

Fitting though- the one and only time he could see fit to be anything less than horrible to me was the times that he was nearly too fucked up to stand. But this time it was something different in his eyes- something that made him look a slight bit more than just drunk. Something else hung heavy in his eyes that night.

“Come here...I want to show you something..” He urged before hooking his fingers into my belt loops- yanking me from where I stood. I regretfully followed him quickly trying to keep my balance as he directed me to my bedroom floor. Part of me was alittle scared ois ais announcement- because 9 out of 10 times if Tony said he had something to show you- it wasn't good. But I still obeyed the man sitting patiently with both legs crossed Indian style on the floor. I could feel my heart rate speed up as he began to shuffle around in the bedside table’s tiny drawer. This was where the last fiasco had started out as well- and the end result was anything but enjoyable.

“You need to learn to just accept the way that life is Benjamin. You’re too high strung. Sometimes I think I’m going to have to work the hardest on getting you to listen.” He stated calmly- turning around to face me- two tiny objects in his hand. I instantly recognized the both and my eyes formed into two distinct surprised features. I didn't know what the hell was going on- but I felt like throwing up. This wasn’t happening.
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Tony Loves Benji