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Dead Like Me	By : poe Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 4827 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: gerard is not mine, but if he was, well, then i'd be having me some fu-un.....
**********
Okay, so I kind of omitted one tiny detail when I said that I didn't care about Gerard, blah blah blah.
I forgot to mention that that would kind of be a lie.
I love Mikey. I love him so much, and he knows it. But somewhere deep down, so deep that it never sees the light of day, or at least I try not to let it see the light of day, I know that if I said that I didn't still have feelings for Gerard I'd be lying. No matter how minute and insignificant I might tell myself those feelings are, they are still there, because if they weren't then I wouldn't feel like this. I wouldn't be clutching the blanket to my bare chest like my boyfriend just caught me cheating on him with his brother.
"Like, I fucking live here too, remember? Couldn't you at least have the fucking dignity to fucking not FUCK when I'm coming home?!"
I just sat there in the bed like a two year-old, watching his parents argue. I didn't know what to say, or what to do. So I stared, frozen as Mikey rolled his eyes and got off the bed.
"Jesus, Gerard, fuck off! It's not like I knew you were coming home. I thought you'd be gone all day." Mikey put his pants on, standing in front of Gerard with his arms crossed.
"Well, surprise-- I wasn't! And, newsflash: just because I leave doesn't mean that you and your boyfriend have to fuck!" The way he said "boyfriend" made me silently cringe in place. Like he thought we were stupid, or disgusting or something. How was it that he always made me feel like shit, when he had done way worse things than I had even imagined doing?
"For your information, we weren't fucking." Mikey pushed Gerard out the doorframe, and slammed the door shut, locking it too. "But we're about to, so FUCK OFF!" he yelled through the door.
We heard Gerard storm off, obviously pissed. Well, I suppose I would be too, if I just walked in on my baby brother making out with my best friend.
It's not like Gerard didn't know what was going to happen when I moved in. I mean, Mikey and I had been together for almost a year, and he was the one who suggested it. I thought maybe secretly he was hoping that I would break up with Mikey and crawl after him again. He liked the attention, I know he did. Otherwise he wouldn't have strung me along for so long. But it’s not like I didn’t keep coming back for more. I wouldn't have left if he told me to, I know I wouldn't have.
Mikey walked back over to the bed, a gleam in his eye. I felt bad for Gerard, and between him walking in on us, and the argument they'd had, I honestly didn't really feel like I was in the mood to do anything anymore. I just wanted to go apologize to Gerard.
"So, Frank, where were we?" He moved to kiss me, and I put my hand on his chest preventing his lips from reaching mine.
"I don't know Mikey, I don't think that I really feel like this anymore...." I bit my bottom lip, afraid that Mikey was going to be mad, or think it was because of Gerard or something.
"Yeah, that's okay. Honestly, I'm not really in the mood either...."
"Good. I'd rather just finish unpacking, and get settled in." He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.
Before he left the room he turned around one last time, like he just had a last minute thought he wanted to get out before he left me alone. “So, I guess that means a rain check?” That devilish grin that marked him as a Way brother made its way up his top lip, making him smirk lopsidedly.
“I’ll think about it….” I trailed of mischievously, and blew him a kiss as he winked at me, and closed the door behind him.
I waited a good minute, just to make sure that he wasn’t coming back, and exhaled the shaky breath that I felt like I’d been holding since I heard Gerard’s voice fill the room. I closed my eyes, and fell back on the bed. How did he do that? Make me feel lightheaded all of a sudden, like I couldn’t breathe, without even kissing me?
My cheeks felt warm, and I knew that if I really wanted to, the tears that were blocked up behind my lids would fall. But I shut my eyes tighter against them. I had nothing to cry about. I had my boyfriend, my wonderful boyfriend. I loved him.
Despite that, I felt relieved that Gerard had walked in when he did. I had almost made a huge mistake in the midst of everything going on. Gerard saved me from that. I was almost glad that he interrupted us. But why was it such a big deal to him?
Gerard didn’t want me. He didn’t, and for some reason that makes me feel like I am the one that has the problem. Mikey always tells me good things. Like, how he loves my hair, or the way I squeal when he tickles me, and how he thinks I’m the most gorgeous boyfriend anyone could ask for, and he’s so lucky to be with me. And it’s sweet, you know? He really loves me. And he shows me. But yet, we still haven’t had sex.
I know I said that we were waiting for the right time, and I mean, yes, it’s a big deal. But I know that there’s another reason why I can’t seem to bring myself to do it with Mikey, and I’m afraid that it starts with a “G”.
Why is it that you can have everything you ever dreamed of having-- happiness, security in your relationship, money, love, and a place to live-- and still be miserable? God, I love Mikey so much. He’s been so good to me, so good for me. But he’s not Gerard.
Why is there a difference?
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- 12
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Dead Like Me