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In Love And Death	By : VenusMoon Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 1741 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Gerard lit up a cigarette and stared out the bus window, lost in his thoughts as he watched lifeless trees whiz by against the backdrop of an overcast, February sky. The Taste of Chaos tour was turning out to be a big success, and he was finally getting used to being a sober front man again. The success of their second album seemed to relieve some of the pressure that had driven him to drink heavily and use drugs in the past. He felt like they had finally made it and he was now content to sit back and enjoy the ride.
But there was a bittersweet flavor to this tour, a sense of longing that could never be sated as long as he was forced to relive the events of his relationship with Bert every night during their performances. Their cover of Under Pressure was well-received by the fans and Gerard was elated to be touring with The Used again, but it killed him to know that each night when their duet was finished, Bert wasn't going back with Gerard to his bed, but to his own. A rolled up comic book to the back of the head pulled him from his stream of melancholy thoughts.
"Hey, what are you doing up so early?" Mikey asked as he dropped into the seat beside his brother.
"Just thinking," Gerard replied absently as he flicked his cigarette out the window.
"Well stop. You think too much," Mikey teased as he turned on the TV. "Besides, you should be happy. When we get to DC we have a whole afternoon off. Jeph called last night and said there's some hot new band playing at the 9:30 Club and he wants us to go with him to check it out."
"Sounds like fun," Gerard said flatly as he turned his attention back to the passing trees. He knew he should at least make an effort to sound happy, but the truth was he was finding it a lot more difficult to adjust to being friends with Bert than he anticipated. Sometimes when they were performing or just hanging out after the show it seemed so much like old times, like he and Bert were still that same happy couple. But then someone would start flirting with Bert or he would accept someone's number and Gerard was sent back to reality with the force of a killing blow to the face. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep these feelings to himself without going insane. What made it worse was that Bert didn't seem to be having any trouble at all. In fact, he actually seemed much happier just being friends. Unable to keep thinking about Bert, Gerard forced his eyes from the window and curled up with the comic book Mikey had abandoned, hoping his brother didn't notice the single tear that had managed to escape.
******** Gerard woke to persistent knocking on his hotel room door. He could hear the aggravation in Frankie's voice as he made his way across the room. "Come on, Gee, get up! We're gonna be late!"
"Alright, I'm coming!" Gerard snapped back as he opened the door. Frankie took one look at Gerard wearing his skeleton pajamas and his hair still a mess and sighed, shaking his head sadly.
"Okay, what's the excuse this time?" Frankie asked as he pushed his way into the room. "Bad headache, you haven't gotten enough rest, what?" he continued as he rummaged through Gerard's suitcase.
"Whatever Frankie, I just don't feel like going out tonight. Don't you ever have days when you just want to veg out and watch old movies or anything?" Gerard asked as he dropped back onto his bed.
"Yes, but not every single night. Jesus Gee, you've only hung out with us twice since the start of the tour. How the fuck are you supposed to get Bert back if you never spend time with him?" Frankie asked as he tossed Gerard's best jeans to him. "Now, you're gonna get in the shower, get dressed, and then we're going out and having fun. You remember what that is, don't you?"
"Yes," Gerard huffed, rolling his eyes at Frankie's sarcastic tone. "But I've given up on Bert. He makes it obvious every time I see him that he isn't interested in anything more than friendship anymore." He headed for the bathroom.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Frankie asked, following Gerard into the small, tiled room. "Dude, have you seen yourselves on stage? You could power ten amps with the amount of electricity between you two. There is no doubt in my mind that Bert is still crazy in love with you."
"Whatever you say, Frankie," Gerard said, sending him a half-hearted smile as he turned on the shower.
"That's more like it," Frankie grinned as he left the bathroom. "Now hurry up. The show starts at eight. We'll be waiting in the lobby."
"Hey, beauty like mine can't be rushed," Gerard joked, shooting Frankie a wink, although he was still irritated with his friend. He didn't know why Frankie wouldn't just let him be alone with his misery. "Oh well," he said to himself as he stepped into the shower. "If I can sing with the guy every day, I can make it through one night at a club."
******** "Is he coming?" Bert asked when he saw Frankie approaching.
"Yeah, he tried to weasel his way out of it again, but I made him an offer he couldn't refuse," Frankie said in his best Godfather voice.
Bert laughed at the impression, but turned back to the lobby bar as everyone had a couple of drinks while waiting for Gerard. He knew why Gerard was reluctant to go out with them, and he couldn't blame him. Although he was happy that there was still at least some kind of friendship between them, Bert couldn't help but want more. He'd never stopped loving Gerard and wanted nothing more than to be with him, but he feared the thought of Gerard losing control again. He really seemed to have changed, but every time Bert felt ready to give him another chance, that annoying little voice would pop into his head and remind him of how much Gerard had hurt him in the past. He knew he wouldn't be able to go through that again.
"Look who finally decided to join us," Jeph called across the bar when he saw Gerard approaching. Then, leaning in so only Bert could hear, he added, "and doesn't he look good."
Bert glanced in Gerard's direction and his heart skipped a beat. Good was an extreme understatement. He looked fucking amazing. He was wearing his tightest t-shirt, his favorite jeans that made his ass look incredible, and he'd done his hair so that it fell mysteriously across his face so that he had to keep tossing his head to get it out of the way, a move that always drove Bert crazy. He realized he was staring and turned back to the bar, hoping Gerard didn't notice.
*********** Gerard felt better than he had since the start of the tour. It was amazing how much his mood lifted when he actually put some effort into his appearance. He was grinning all over himself on the way to the club and actually managed to laugh at Jeph's relentless teasing of his little brother.
"Oh my god, what was that?" Bert asked in mock-wonder when Gerard bursted out laughing at Quinn and Frankie when they started doing the chicken dance in the middle of the dance floor.
"What ?" Gerard asked, confused.
"You actually remember how to laugh, I can't believe it," Bert continued. Gerard shot him his best 'I'm oh-so-offended' face. "Now, let's see if you remember how to dance," Bert said, pulling him to his feet.
Gerard suddenly felt very nervous, but managed to hide it as they made their way to the dance floor. "Uhh, what if I never knew how to dance in the first place?" Gerard asked as he pushed his way through a crowd of people on their way to the bar.
"Don't even try it," Bert said. "You're dancing with me."
They met up with Quinn and Frankie on the floor and spent the next half hour cracking jokes and laughing at each other's horrible dance skills. When Bert finally said he had to go to the bathroom, a very winded and sweaty Gerard made his way back to the table and drained the rest of his drink in one gulp.
"Umm, Gee?" Mikey asked when he sat back down.
"Yeah?" Gerard answered, still catching his breath.
"I suggest you stay in the music business," Mikey teased as he stood up, darting out of the way of the lighter Gerard threw at him as he made his way to the bathroom. He looked up to see Jeph watching him with a cheesy grin on his face.
"What man?" Gerard asked.
"I was just thinking as I watched you guys attempt to dance..." He let his voice trail off like he wasn't going to continue.
"What?" Gerard asked again. "That we should never do it again?"
Jeph laughed. "No, I was just thinking... it's times like these that make me wonder why the two of you ever broke up."
Gerard failed to formulate a response, but thankfully the waitress arrived just in time for Gerard to hide his grin behind his new drink. Maybe Frankie wasn't just trying to make him feel better earlier. Maybe those glances Bert had been sneaking at him all night weren't just his imagination. Maybe he actually did have a chance to win the love of his life back.
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- 11
- 12
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In Love And Death