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Forbidden	By : Firithfalaswen Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Panic! At The Disco Views: 1324 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Panic! At the Disco. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 11

Sunny’s POV

Spencer and I sat up startled and he went to crawl out of bed.

“What the fuck was that?” Spencer said while pulling his pants up.

A slurred yell came out from outside my door. “Sunny!”

“It’s Ryan.” I deadpanned and pulled my shirt on. Spencer just froze there and looked at me, confused. “He’s drunk.” I tried to explain, but truth is I was as confused as him.

“Sunshine, open the door.” Ryan tried to speak again with another loud bang on the door. “Quit fucking that boyfriend of yours and come the fuck out!”

“Hey!” Spencer said opening the door angrily.

“Spencer, no!” I yelled just as he gripped Ryan’s chest and pressed it against the wall. I practically hung from Spencer’s arm and he softened the grip. I glared at Ryan. “What?” He chuckled, like he didn’t even mind Spencer being there.

“What? I’m a little drunk and horny… so…” He chuckled again. I rolled my eyes, but at the same time started shaking. Mostly out of rage.

“So what?” I spat, trying to sound indifferent. But Ryan knew me better than that, even if he was drunk off his ass. “Besides, you’re completely wasted. I think you should go to bed.”

“C’mon!” Ryan slurred again, running a hand up and down my arm. I stepped back. “Sunshine, there’s no possible way you can pick him over me and we both know it.” He said smirking smugly and nodding to Spencer’s direction. “But now that we’re both here, tell me… us… who goes down better on you?” My fists turned into two balls of fury and I knew my face was going red.

“Ryan, shut the fuck up.” I said quietly. Spencer just looked back and forth between us.

“What?” Spence whispered.

My ears went numb as Ryan kept rambling about the couple of nights we spent together. Suddenly my brain just shut down, I wasn’t thinking, I wasn’t feeling anything but rage, I didn’t hear when Spencer asked me for explanations or when Ryan gave them to him before I did. Everything going in slow motion. And then, I just grabbed one side of Ryan’s head and smacked the opposite against the wall. His laugh instantly stopped and instead he started cursing. I didn’t register that either and holding the back of his neck I dragged him and literally threw him into his room. I watched him fall to the ground yelling things I didn’t quite catch before I slammed the door closed.

Only then I came back to reality. I slumped on the wall and slid down, my legs turning to jelly. And I started crying quietly. Spencer sat beside me.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered without looking at him.

“You know? I always thought there was a thing going on between the two of you.” He said gripping my hand.

“And I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. I feel like I was using you. You’re too great of a guy to do that.” I sniffed and wiped the tears, still not looking at him. He chuckled.

“If you say so.” We just sat in silence for a couple of minutes.

But I had to ask. “This is it then?” I said, trying in vain to keep my voice from shaking.

“I guess.” Spencer gripped my hand before standing up. “I better go.” He went to get the rest of his stuff from my room, I was still on the same spot on the floor when he came back. “So…”

“I’ll see you around, then.” I said looking up and giving him a small smile, fairly framed by my tears. I probably looked pathetic and I pretty much deserved it. Spencer knelt in front of me and cleaned my cheeks with his thumbs.

“Yeah, see you around.” He kissed my forehead and stood up, sighing before walking down the hall and out of the house.

Out of my life.

Ryan’s POV

The sun shining on my face woke me up. I was in my bed, pjs on and one hell of a headache. I grunted and rolled over away from the light, just to roll back. The right side of my head hurt like a bitch and I felt a bump there, I swear it swell even more under my fingers as the memories came to me. Cause I remembered everything, from the lasagna dinner till I passed out on the floor in my room, jealous and angry and sad and with a brand new bump on my head. I didn’t remember getting into bed, or even getting my pajamas on… I slowly sat upon the bed and saw a coke can and painkillers on the nightstand. I sighed.

I didn’t deserve it. But still she did it, picked me up from the floor and tucked me into bed, left me aspirins and coke for the hangover and the headache. And what did I do? Turn everything to shit. I swallowed the painkillers and the coke through the lump in my throat and groaned as I got up and dragged my pathetic self to the bathroom. My hair smelled like an ashtray and my whole body hurt when I moved, not as much as my head did, but still.

After 30 minutes in the shower I went to check my face in the mirror. Sunny must be even skinnier than I am, but when she was mad, she suddenly got a lot of strength. Not only I had growing an extra head above my ear, but also the outside of my eye, my cheekbone and my temple were now a rather fashionable shade of purple.

For half a second I considered to cover it up with make up, then I decided to throw it all to hell and simply dragged myself back to my room, got dressed and changed my sheets. I realized it was time to do laundry too. With another big sigh I walked to the kitchen, Sunny was there, cleaning, in the same shorts and tank top she was wearing the day before. I held my breath watching her, ready to run and hide. But I couldn’t.

“Sit.” She said without looking at me. I obeyed silently and faced the table, while she put a new can of coke in front of me, something inside the microwave and got an ice bag out of the fridge. The last thing came roughly on my head, making me flinch and hiss from the sharp pain that caused. “Hold it there.” Sunny said. A ding coming from the microwave let her know the food was ready, so I replaced her hand with mine.

“Thanks.” I mumbled still facing the table and she placed lunch in front of me. Lasagna left overs. My stomach growled happily, but the lump in my throat got it completely closed. Sunny held the ice pack on my head again as I picked on my food, her forehead falling on my hair.

“Are we always going to hurt each other like this?” Sunny said, her voice plain and unexpressive. I wasn’t sure if it was really a question or just something she needed to confirm.

“I’d like to say no, but…” Truth is, I didn’t know. I had no idea what to say. I wanted to say I was sorry and I wanted to be with her, but she was right.

“Okay…” She said softly. Now her chin was against the top of my head. I picked on my food again, unable to swallow.

“I’m sorry, Sun.” I turned on my sit, but I still couldn’t look at her. “I… last night…” The words kept stumbling in my tongue. “I don’t know…”

“Don’t.” She shook her head. “Don’t try to explain what you did.” I finally looked at her and she looked down at me. Her eyes were a green pool of nothing and I felt a cold shudder run down my spine. “I can act like it didn’t happen, I can keep taking care of you, I can keep being your best friend, from cradle to grave… but don’t explain and wait for me to forgive you.” I nodded, still looking at her. I knew there was more to forgive me for than what happened the night before, I knew now what I had for months and was stupid and blind enough to not realize and let it go. To take her for granted. “I love you, Ryan Ross, but I’m not going to forgive you. And I’m not going to let you hurt me anymore.”

Said that, she took my hand and placed it over the ice pack, giving me one more empty look and walking away.
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