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The Guidelines of Sex & Friendship	By : delicatektheory Category: WWF/WWE > Het - Male/Female Views: 1888 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the WWE current or former talent. I do not own any of the lyrics featured later on. I am not making money from writing this. All I own is Lil, Jas, and Jenn.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
After our intense love-making session, everything was silent. Matt and I were lying on our sides, facing one another. He had both arms wrapped around my body, and I had my right leg draped across his waist. I couldn't recall how long we had been in this position, but neither one of us seemed to mind.
The sun was just starting to come up. I could see glints of orange through the drawn curtains. We had been awake all this time, not talking, just staring. If we didn't have a flight to catch in a couple of hours, I would have preferred to stay in bed. As long as I got the opportunity to spend my mornings like this, I would travel with him until the end of time...or until he finds out about this baby and decides to leave me in the middle of the Sierra Desert.
"You should probably try getting some sleep," I said as I shifted my body to allow him to get comfortable enough to take a nap.
"Yes," he nodded, pulling me close. He recreated our previous position, but left his hand on my right thigh this time. "But, that's what the plane ride is for."
I laughed. "So, you just want to blow off a solid two hours sleep to sit and watch me?"
"Sure," he grinned. "You're very entertaining."
"Yes," I nodded, giggling. "Your morning erection seems to think so, too."
He laughed and lightly pushed me away from him. With a sigh, he rolled over on his back and put his hands behind his head.
We were silent again.
I lay there, propped on my elbow, watching as his magnificent bare chest rose and fell with each breath. Who needed Adonis, anyway? I had a real-life Hercules right in front of me.
"What?" Matt smiled, looking over at me.
For a second, I was dumbfounded. I had not realized that I was laughing at myself out loud.
"Nothing," I returned the smile, "I was just thinking about that great body of yours."
"Oh," he smirked, pushing the bed sheets down, almost to his pelvis, "For your viewing pleasure, my dear."
"That's sweet of you," I snarled playfully. "But are you trying to get yourself sexually assaulted a third time, Hardy?"
He shot me a sexy grin, and replied, "By the sound of it, I was the one doing the assaulting, Merrette."
That much was true. I would have the bruises on my wrists to prove it. God only knows what Jeff, Jenn, and the rest of our neighbors heard coming from this room. I was surprised that someone hadn't phoned the front desk and complained about my boisterous moaning.
"I guess we should get in the shower," he said after a moment.
"Excuse me, we?" I raised my brow. Showering together wasn't part of our arrangements. Well, not when sex wasn't involved.
"Yes, we," he chuckled, slinging off the covers and blinding me with his nakedness. "I don't see you getting in and out of that tub by yourself, so it's better that I'm in there with you."
"And helping lather me with soap isn't going to turn you on?" I asked.
He laughed again as he walked around to my side of the bed. "Only if you want it to," he replied as he helped me get into a sitting position, "but I should caution you. Given the fact that we both haven't slept, there's a huge risk that we could fall asleep during it."
The idea of Matt and I pressed against the shower wall, in mid-liaison, dead asleep struck me as hilarious. I threw back my head and howled with laughter.
"That would certainly make some headlines, if people knew about us," I said, trying to control myself.
Matt was in the middle of helping me get on me feet and then he stopped. He looked down at me with a serious, almost fearful look in his eyes. Here we go…another lecture.
"People can't know about us. I mean, what really goes on between us," he said. It wasn't a request or statement of a fact. He said it as a warning.
I rolled my eyes, trying to not seem offended by his unnecessary threats. "I know. I'm not supposed to discuss our sex life in front of every person and his or her mother. I get it. Must you keep reminding me?"
"I'm not just saying that as a reminder. It's one thing if my co-workers find out. They probably already know, especially after this morning. But it's a completely different thing if the fans find out," he explained as he walked backwards, guiding me toward the bathroom. "Not only will I look bad, but you'll be the talk of the rumor mill. I want you to have a normal life. The last thing you need is to be under the scrutiny of the public."
"Oh, Matt," I groaned as we stepped onto the linoleum floor of the bathroom. "Can't you shut off your protective mode for one second? We don't show any affection when we're in public. If anything, you come across as an overbearing brother figure to me."
He nodded, placing my hands on the bathroom counter as he went to run the bath water. His back was to me, and the running water, muffled whatever he was mumbling, but I could have sworn it was along the lines of, "A sick, perverted, incredibly-turned-on-by-a-nineteen-year-old, overbearing brother figure."
We didn't discuss it any further. I guess Matt didn't want another argument on his hands. We had just made up, and he probably didn't want to ruin the joy we had experienced this morning.
He helped me bathe, which wasn't as erotic as I had imagined it would be. Why? 1) Every time he ran the washcloth over my stomach, I became acutely paranoid that he would feel some abnormality, so that drained any pleasure I could have experienced 2) I imagined that this kind of bathing was considered foreplay for old people and picturing two flabby-skinned eighty-year-olds going at it was a complete turn-off for me.
While I was getting dressed and drying my hair, Matt was packing up our belongings. When he was finished, he came back into the bathroom, carrying my socks and tennis shoes in his hand. He knelt down on one knee, in front of the toilet, and started putting them on my feet. This act was mechanical, but with an air of compassion. And this was a completely different Matt from the one that had helped me out of the car several hours ago.
Sitting there, I envisioned Matt doing the same thing for our child. I closed my eyes to formulate a picture of what it would look like. I could see a little two or three year old, spitting-image of Matt, sitting on the toilet, swinging its legs while Daddy is putting on its Spider-Man or princess shoes. Then, when Matt was finished, he would give him/or her a piggyback ride like fathers do.   The two of them would be carefree, riding off into the sunset...Okay, well, the sunset is probably pushing it, but there would be a happy-ending, at least.
Matt made a whistling sound, causing me to snap out of my daydream.
I stared at him, confused.
He chuckled, rubbing my knees as he stood up.
"You were snoring, honey," he explained as he grabbed the cord to the hair-dryer, which had ended up on the floor. He shut it off and hung it back on the wall. "Maybe you should go in there and crash for a few minutes. It looks like you need to more than I do."
I shook my head. "No, I'm fine."
He gave me a skeptical look.
"I am," I laughed in between a yawn, which only helped to prove his point. "If you can sleep on the plane, so can I."
"Yes, but the difference between you and me is the fact that I will make it on the plane before I pass out. You're going to pass out before we make it down the hallway."
"Well, boo-hoo for you," I gave him a teasing snarl. "So the big, bad wrestler might have to carry my comatose behind to the car…Big deal."
I squealed as Matt suddenly scooped me up into his arms.
"Then carry you, I shall."
I went to laugh, but yawned again instead.
"Put me down," I mumbled as he carried me into the main room. "You cannot haul the suitcases and stuff with me in your arms."
"Sure I can. I'm an excellent multi-tasker...as you know," he grinned, waggling his eyebrows.
"I don't think your bedroom acrobatics will apply to carrying two duffle bags, two suitcases, and my crutches," I chuckled softly, pressing my head against chest and closing my eyes again.
He didn't respond, but I did hear a grunt as he tried to use is foot to open the door. We were moving in a nice soothing manner; it was almost like I was being rocked to sleep. I say almost, because I was disturbed when my foot began hitting a door.
"Pssst," Matt hissed. "Jeff, Jenn, are you guys up, yet?"
Again, my foot rapped against the door.
"I told you that you couldn't do it," I muttered without opening my eyes.
"We've been up," was Jenn's grouchy retort from inside.
"Well good. Would you mind coming to the door?"
"Uh...Just a second. Jeff needs to get dressed."
"I didn't need to know that," Matt chuckled, jostling me in a playful manner.
I grumbled and settled against his chest again, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.
There was some commotion inside and then the door jerked open.
"What?" Jenn barked.
Matt was silent for a moment, clearly uncomfortable.
I casually opened an eye, observed Jenn's sour disposition, and closed it again.
"She's really tired," he explained. I could feel him looking down at me as he spoke. "Do you think you guys could carry our stuff while I'm carrying her to the car?"
I could hear her huff in response, but Jeff agreed to do it.
It took several minutes for them to gather their things, and then Jeff went into our room to get our things. I was being jostled too much to bother sleeping, so I just rested against Matt's chest, watching Jeff as he made haste (as fast as he could go, considering he was being bogged down with four suitcases and my crutches) down the hallway.
Jenn was standing impatiently at the elevator, waiting on us.
"What's the matter with her?" Matt asked, curiously.
"I would usually say mood swings," he replied, "but she didn't sleep last night."
"Hurling?" I asked, trying not to sound like I sympathized with her. In fact, at that moment, I felt like I needed to vomit, as well.
"I wish," he grumbled. "I could have put up with that."
“What is it then?” Matt asked.
“You two,” Jenn snarled, briefly turning to glare at us before she stepped on the elevator.
Jeff sighed, following her.
“Here we go again,” he grumbled. “This is what kept me up all night.”
Jenn ignored his commentary and continued her rant, almost smacking me in the face every time she flailed her hand through the air. “Not only did you two keep me up all night fucking,” she sneered, stressing the last word as she pointed a finger at Matt. “It was the fact that you were even fucking at all, after that stunt Lil pulled at dinner. Mike friggin’ Mizanin! You can’t be condoning this...this whatever it is, Matthew. You’re not condoning this, are you?”
The elevator dinged, and Matt was thankful to escape a small confined space, where a very hormonal Jenn could easily flog him (and me) to death.
"I'm not condoning anything," he replied as he made gentle strides down the long corridor, to the front desk. "Is Mizanin a sleazy, disgusting pig? Yes, but that is for Lil to decide on her own. That was our agreement last night."
"How the fuck can you be so calm and understanding about this?" Jenn shrilled, causing Jeff to shush her as we approached the front desk. "God only knows what John and Mike have up their sleeves. They are not and never have been nice to anyone that's associated with you. So, why now? Can you answer that?"
"I can't really see why you are all bent out of shape about this," I said at last, peeking behind Matt. "It's not like I'm dating you. You don't have a say in whether or not I'm showing poor judgment when I have one innocent dinner with someone."
"She's right." Matt agreed. It took him a second to catch on to what I had inadvertently implied. Technically, I wasn't dating him, either. He looked down at me. "Wait, reverse...What?"
"Well, I'm not exactly sleeping with Jenn here," I explained quickly, whispering so that the lady behind the desk didn't overhear as Jeff checked us out of the hotel. "You do have some pull in who I see and don't see."
He furrowed his brow in confusion. "What happened to that you-don't-answer-to-me-shit?"
"It still applies, but seeing as I concern you so much, I will take your feelings into consideration next time."
"Gee, that makes me feel so much better."
I could hear the sarcasm, but chose to ignore it.
"Good," I grinned, smiling sleepily.
Jenn was silent, glaring at us with an annoyed expression across her face. She calmly fished the keys to the rental car out of Jeff's pant's pocket and stomped her way out the door.
She could not wrap her mind around why Matt had put so much trust in me. To be honest, I don't even know why he put so much trust in me. It shouldn't surprise me, because complications seemed to be following me like a black plague, a cloud even. So, what the hell? Why not add Matt's unwavering trust, right?
Jenn pulled the sedan up to the front of the building and started helping Jeff put in their luggage, leaving Matt to handle ours. He didn't complain; he never seemed to when she was upset. He just went with her moods, unlike me. I usually found cheap amusement out of pressing her buttons, but I didn't feel like it today. I just wanted to sleep, sleep the whole day if at all possible. I didn't want to concentrate on my problems or be bothered by Jenn's problems about my problems. However, I failed to take into account that she wasn't going to be my only headache.
Fans followed and/or stalked Matt (and any professional wrestler in general) on a pretty regular basis. There were three locations in particular where he could not avoid being swamped by fans: the hotel, which we had managed to escape this morning, the airport, and the back entrance of the event venue. During the few times that I have traveled with Matt, the fan experiences had been tolerable and pleasant. Now, they seemed more like an inconvenience and a hassle, but both Hardys took it in stride.
Despite the fact that we were about to miss out flight, Matt calmly filed into the convoy of other wrestlers and signed autographs as he pushed me, in one of the airport wheelchairs, down the terminal. He wasn't being as ambushed as Jeff, so we were able to make it to boarding before him. Since news of Jeff's up-coming venture into fatherhood, fans seemed to be even more interested in him, as if they weren't already. He was the risk-taker of the two brothers and seemed to appeal more to the audience, but that's not to say that Matt doesn't have an equal share of followers. He's an underrated performer, but then again, I'm screwing him, so I could be biased.
Matt fell asleep listening to his iPod about fifteen minutes after the plane departed from the airport. The music he was listening to was playing loudly through the ear pieces, so I couldn't sleep on the flight. By the time the plane landed in Milwaukee, my head was buried in one of those air sick bags. Then, to further my misery, on the way to the arena, I had to listen to twenty minutes worth of Jenn's God-awful renditions to every country song that came on the radio. She was singing horribly and loudly on purpose, just to annoy Matt and me. Jeff was too nice to tell her to stop, so he just discretely put chunks of Kleenex inside his ears when he thought no one was looking.
Matt couldn't provide me much comfort, because he had to attend a meeting with the bosses the moment he arrived at the venue. He found his assigned locker room, which he was sharing with Jeff and three other friends, and then got me settled on the couch and put a trashcan by me. His friend Ken came in a couple of times to check on me, but other than that I was left alone...thankfully. I could finally sleep, or so I thought.
It had been several weeks since I had had one of my surrealistic nightmares, so I was apparently due for one.
I was in a dark room. Matt had me on top of something hard, but flexible beneath my weight...cardboard. We we're in a storage closet, Shannon's storage closet. It seemed like I was recreating my first encounter with Matt, only this time I was eight months pregnant.
"We shouldn't be doing this, Matt," I squeaked as he finally pulled his lips away from mine. He was recklessly fondling me over my clothing. "You should think about Shannon."
"He wasn't thinking about me when he knocked you up and took everything from me," he sneered through his teeth. He didn't stop caressing me, running his hands repeatedly over my enlarged belly.
"He didn't take anything from you," I retorted, trying to push him off of me, but he was far too powerful. I grunted, exerting all of my strength as I pushed the palms of my hands against his chest. "Matt...I've...been here...I've always been here."
"Then why are you with him?" he asked.
"You were too late."
He began to press down harder against my stomach, which made me squirm in discomfort. Then he stopped and yanked my dress up, pulling it over my bump. I squirmed again, still wanting to push him away as I felt a warm hand slip between my open thighs. His other hand was loosely wrapped around my throat.
I stiffened as I felt his fingers inching closer to my vaginal opening. I knew then what he was about to do. He was going to rape me. I could feel it.
"Matt," I was barely speaking above a whisper as tried to reason with him, "What are you trying to do? What is this going to solve?"
"It's simple," he responded, gritting his teeth. "I'll be taking what is rightfully mine!"
I screamed in agony as I felt his hand plunge inside me, evading my womb like a vicious parasite.
He had his hand wrapped around my baby's umbilical cord, pulling on it. He would have succeeded in ripping my unborn child from my loins had my own guttural scream not woke me up.
My heart was pounding inside my ears as I jolted upright on the sofa. I took a few seconds, made an attempt to breathe, and then vomited in the trashcan.
Jenn must have snuck in while I was sleeping, because she came darting out of the bathroom. "What? What is it?" she cried as she nervously tried to wrap a towel around herself.
I jumped, startled.
"Jesus Christ, Jenn!" I wailed. The plastic liner inside the trashcan was shaking and so was my body. It was only until after I looked down that I realized I had a death grip on the trashcan.
Jenn cautiously approached the couch and sat down next to me. She put a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jerk again. "Lil," she began soothingly, “Calm down. I'm here. What's wrong? What is it?"
"I-It was gone. He wanted it, so he took it." I replied, stuttering absentmindedly.
"Who took what?" she asked, confused.
I wasn't given time to reply, as Mike came bursting through the door and dragging John behind him.
Mike's eyes darted from Jenn, to me. He had a clear look of concern. "Is everything okay? We could hear you screaming from down the hall?"
"Huh?" I looked at him, wiping away a few stray tears that were streaming down my cheeks. I slowly nodded as his question finally sank in. "I'm fine."
"She's fine," Jenn echoed, trying to sound friendly, but she was gritting her teeth.
John rolled his eyes, smacking Mike on his shoulder with back of his hand. "See, I told you," he spat. "There was nothing to worry about. Her vibrator probably stood her up, and that's why she's upset."
Mike turned to him, giving him a smack on the shoulder in return. "Grow up, dude."
I glared at John, wanting to throw my trashcan full of puke in his face, but instead I countered with a sarcastic remark of my own, "At least my vibrator can't deflate. Tell me, can she fit right in your carry-on, or do you have to leave her at home?"
"She probably has her own bag," Jenn snickered.
"Oh, and like that's mature," John looked at Mike, rolling his eyes.
He shrugged. "You started it. You can't expect Lil to sit idly by and let you just insult her. She's not that kind of girl."
John arched a finely-groomed brow. "Lil? Since when are you on a first name basis with some snot-nose kid a Hardy is hauling around?"
"Last night. We actually had a nice conversation."
"Dude," John glared at him, appalled at the very idea of his friend crossing enemy lines.
"Yeah, yeah," Mike rolled his eyes as he gestured for him to be gone.
Both Jenn and John were staring at him in shock.
"Are you fucking serious?" John asked, his mouth hanging open.
"No, dude, I'm shooing away invisible bees."
Again, there was another joke at his friend's expense. Did I really leave that good of an impression?
John grumbled something unintelligible, glanced at me, and stalked out of the room.
I smiled, amused by Jenn's expression. She was looking at Mike, blinking continuously as she made an attempt to fully register what had occurred.
"Thanks, but you didn't have to do that," I finally said to him.
He gave me a friendly smile and squatted down in front of me, ignoring the stench of vomit in the air.
"Yes, I did. I let him get away with it once. I couldn't let him do it again."
"Well...thanks."
He nodded, his smile fading a bit when he became aware of the fact that an extra pair of eyes were looking at him. He stared at Jenn, waiting for her to snap and try to kick him out, even though it was not her place to do so.
She cleared her throat and quickly turned her attention to me. "I need to get dressed," she began, "Can I trust you and Mizanin for five minutes, or should I go have someone snag Matt?"
I rolled my eyes.
All of a sudden Mike started sounding as if we were two sixteen-year-olds going out on our first and he had to face the interrogation of my overbearing mother. "I will take good care of her," he said in a respectful tone. "You don't need to worry."
She didn't seem too satisfied with the idea, but she stood up and started heading back to the bathroom. "Be back in a few."
"You look like you've been to hell and back," Mike remarked when he figured the coast was clear.
"I feel like it, too," I sighed, leaning over the trashcan as another wave a nausea hit.
"Well, let's get you laid back down," he said, coaxing me back against the couch. He almost had Matt's touch, except it was a uneasy. He scooted the trashcan closer to my head and then sat down on the sofa himself, putting my feet in his lap.
I couldn't help the questioning look I was giving him. He was acting as if we had been friends all our lives. He was so comfortable in my nauseated presence that it scared me.
"Sleep," he instructed, ignoring my look. "I'll be here when you wake up."
I slept about as well as I felt, but at least I was sleeping a little bit. I kept having that same nightmare playing like a broken record inside my head, but I was more conscious of it this time. I would whimper every so often and then receive a little shake that would wake me up long enough for me to realize where I was. I’d quickly doze off and sleep a few more minutes without interruptions. The dreams seemed to taper off after a while and I finally drifted into a state of nothingness. Well, that was until Jenn's voice broke into my nice quite bubble.
"Don't you have some other place you could be?"
"Shhhh," I heard Mike hiss.
"Don't shush me."
"Fine. Be quite, then. She's had enough trouble sleeping as it is."
"Why are you even here? Didn't Matt tell you to leave?"
"There's a difference between asking and telling."
"Well, don't you have a match?"
"Yes, but not for a few more minutes."
"So, you're just going to stay here until she wakes up?"
"Yes, I told her I would. I keep my promises."
Jenn shouted, almost at the top of her lungs. “LILY MARIE MERRETTE!”
“For the love of Eric Estrada, Jenn,” I shrieked, jolting upright.
She was sitting in one of those folding chairs, smirking at Mike, who was still on the sofa with me. “There,” she said. “She’s up. Now, off you go.”
I grumbled as I pulled myself into a sitting position.
I eyed Jenn. “I know you’re hormonal and all, but do you have to be so rude?”
“Do you have to be friends with,” she gestured to Mike in disgust, “it?”
“Ummm,” Mike put his hands to his chest, “It is still in the room, and he also has a name.”
“Okay, whatever, pissedhead,” Jenn rolled her eyes.
“Jennifer,” I scowled. “Have a little class, huh?”
She shot me an acidic glare, and retorted, “You’re one to lecture me on class.”
“Oh, shove a cookie in that over-sized trap of yours,” I snapped, swallowing hard to keep from vomiting on her.
“Now who’s the one sounding immature?” She smirked as she folded her arms across her chest.
“Get bent!”
“Get some intelligence! Mike is not the nice guy you think he is.”
“Can Mike defend himself?” Mike's weak interjection was ignored as a war of words ensued.
"Why can't you be like Matt and just let me figure that out on my own?"
"Because I don't give a shit about hurting your feelings when I know your dancing you're naive little self into dangerous territory," Jenn spat, shaking her finger at me as she spoke. "Any person with the slightest bit of intelligence would know that, despite what Matt may say, you hanging around with Mike really burns him up. But he can't stay angry at you because you have him wrapped around your finger, and you have the ability to make the poor man feel like scum if he hurts your feelings in any way."
Mike failed at interrupting us again. "Ummm, ladies..."
"Oh, I so do not!"
Jenn snorted. "Like hell you don't. That's a lie if I've ever heard one. I shouldn't be surprised, though, lying is a natural part of your daily life these days."
I rolled my eyes and tried to let her stinging remark roll off my back. "Why does this always have to come back to me? We could be talking about the queen of England and you'd find a way to make the conversation about my problems. And I'm not lying...I'm just avoiding the truth!"
"And you wonder why Matt is so brotherly with you...You're always pissed when people call you a child, but guess what? You're acting childish right now. I don't think you realize how grateful you should be that Matt caters to your little episodes, because normally he would tell you to jump off a bridge."
"Me!" I shrieked, throwing my hands up and inadvertently smacking Mike in the face. "I'm acting childish! You're the one whining about who I'm friends with."
"I'm not the one that's pregnant and hasn't told the father!"
I stopped breathing, and I believe Mike did as well.
"That's my cue," Mike said quickly, leaping up and nearly knocking me off the couch. He started making a beeline for the door.
"Mike," I called, glaring at Jenn. "Hold up a minute."
"No, no, I have a match. I'll, uh, catch you later," he said quickly, not turning around. He was about to open the door when it swung open on its own and smacked him in the forehead.
"Good, skidmark, I'm glad you're still here," Matt grinned as he and Jeff, both in a lather of sweat, came tromping into the locker room.
"I never get tired of the colorful nicknames," Mike grumbled, rubbing his forehead as he backed away. "But you all forgot the ever popular 'meathead.'"
"'Sup, meathead," Jeff gave him a stiff acknowledgement as he kissed the top of a snickering Jenn's head and made his way to the showers.
"In all seriousness," Matt began, in a fake chum-like tone; as he slung an arm around Mike's shoulder, causing him to stiffen, "Let's have a little chat."
Mike shuffled, nervously.
"I have a match. I really should get going."
"Oh, this will only take a minute."
"Matt," I hissed.
"Don't worry," he winked. "I'll play nice."
He gestured, more like, demanded that Mike take a seat on the sofa, and then he wedged himself in between Mike and me.
I glared at him, my teeth clenched so hard that my jaws hurt. Here I had just applauded the fact that Matt was handling this friendship with Mike well, and then he decides to showboat. I could almost feel Jenn relishing in the fact that she proved me wrong.
"So, Mike, or do you prefer meathead?" Matt continued very nonchalantly.
"Mike."
He nodded and pressed onward. "Mike, I have to ask you, what are your intentions with Lil?"
"Matt!" I shrieked.
Jenn burst into laughter.
Mike looked over at me, confused. I couldn't blame him. I told him that Matt and I weren't an item, but me being pregnant, made it look like we were. He was probably trying to wrap his mind around the whole thing.
"I, uh," he squeaked, clearing his throat again, "I'm, ummm, I'm not sure how you want me to answer that."
"Well, a simple, honest answer would suffice," Matt responded. "I would highly suggest that you be honest with me, because I will know if you're not, and then, my friend, we're going to have a serious problem, and I'm going to have to break both of your scrawny little legs."
"I...I really don't think I need to be in the middle of whatever going on between the two of you."
Matt looked over at me, questioningly. "There's nothing going on between us," he said to him, but he sounded like he was talking to me. "Now, if you would, please answer the question, so we can all get on with our lives."
"Mike, just go," I urged, glaring at Matt out of the corner of my eye. "You need to go get ready for your match, so you don't have time for this foolishness. I'll talk to you later."
Mike jumped to his feet and bolted out the door like Matt had been aiming a shotgun at him.
Silence...for half of a second.
Jenn jumped at the thunderous crack echoing throughout the room as my hand smacked, full-force, against the back of Matt's head.
Matt yelped, looking at me with wide eyes. "What the hell was that for?"
"Oh, don't play innocent with me," I snapped, gesturing toward the door. "What happened to me being able to make my own judgments? I was just bragging about how well you were taking my budding friendship with Mike, and here you are interrogating the poor guy. Is Jeff not a good enough tag-team partner for you that you have to go team with Jenn, too?"
"What are you talking about?" he asked, looking over a Jenn for some kind of explanation.
"I'm talking about everyone ganging up on me," I shouted, "Ganging up on me over some guy. I can't always hang around the people you guys do. I need a life of my own. I need friends of my own! I don't care whether you approve of them or not."
"I'm not ganging up on you," Matt said softly, still rubbing the back of his head. "I just want to make sure meathead...Mike knows not to mess with you."
"Yeah, I bet you were," I sneered. "You were hoping to God that you could scare him off."
Matt groaned. "Don't start that jealousy spiel again."
"Well, what do you call being possessive of me?" I countered. Tears were forming in the corners of my eyes. I was on the verge of crying due my elation that Matt felt like I belonged to him, but deeply saddened by the idea that this feeling wouldn't last once all these secrets were unraveled. And if Jenn kept blabbing, the secrets would be out sooner than I had hoped.
"How the fuck am I supposed to react?" Matt spat, trying hard to keep his cool. I had never seen him strain this hard to keep from biting my head off. "After almost two years of knowing you, do you honestly blame me for wanting to keep you safe? That's all I'm trying to do, Lil, keep you safe."
"By doing what?" I laughed dryly, "By sheltering me until I can barely stand the thought of stepping out into the sunlight again? You can't shelter me from the big, bad world forever, Matt. Like it or not I am growing up, becoming a woman, in more ways than one, so you're just going to have to deal with it." I looked over at Jenn, adding, "You're all just going to have to deal with it."
"I understand that, Lily..." Matt nodded, lowering his voice to where I could barely hear it.
"No, I don't believe you do, because if you did, we wouldn't be fighting."
"He's not the one yelling, Lil," Jenn intervened.
"Well, I have no other choice, but to yell!" I shouted, my voice rising. I looked over at her. "If I wanted to be treated like a baby, I would go back to living with Jas."
"Calm down," Matt pleaded, softly.
"I don't get you, Matt," I gritted my teeth, ignoring his plea.
He flinched under my glower.
"You say one thing and do another. You don't want me, but no one else can have me, is that right?"
"Lily," Jenn scorned. "Now you know that's not true."
"It's not?" I spat, matter-of-factly.
I looked over at Matt to see if he was going to rebut my observation, but he didn't. He kept his head down and his mouth shut...like usual.
I was sick of this. I was sick of him sitting there, taking what I was dishing out and not refuting it. When he should be defending himself, he wasn't. Typical, chivalrous Matt.
I let out a low, throaty growl.
"For God sakes, Matthew," I spouted, pushing his shoulder in a demanding fashion. "Get a friggin' set of balls, will you? Say something, defend yourself. Tell me I'm wrong. I dare you to."
Nothing, not even an upward glance.
I laughed, darkly. "What, you can spout off little sarcastic comments when I inadvertently upset you, but you can't say one freaking word when I call you out?"
"Lil, you're acting fucking crazy," Jenn intervened again, raising her voice a little bit this time. "You talk about me being melodramatic. Stop this right now. There's no reason for you to go postal when all he's doing is looking out for you."
I ignored her.
I had my eyes fixed on Matt, seething. He looked as if I had been physically assaulting him. Seeing him like that ripped my heart out, but at the same time, I secretly felt like he deserved it. I wasn't about to let him think that I would be his little play thing forever.
I folded my arms across my chest.
"Look at me!" I demanded in a shrill voice that actually startled him. "Tell me that no one else can have me, because you are absolutely terrified of being alone. Tell me that I'm not some lifelong companion that you think you can screw whenever you can't find anyone better!"
"Lily..." he sighed, but trailed off.
"Is that all you can say?"
"Well, what the hell do you expect him to say?" Jenn was back in Matt's corner, defending him. "No matter what he says, you'll still turn him into the bad guy."
Bad guy, no—inconsiderate schmuck killing me with kindness, most definitely.
"I can't make him look like a bad guy," I snarled at her. "He's doing that all on his own."
Jenn scoffed. "Well, that's the fucking pot calling the kettle black."
"You know what? This has nothing to do with you, so just keep your mouth shut!" I barked, turning my attention back to Matt.
"You do a pretty good job of treating me like I'm Lucas," I continued, my sarcasm was just as thick as it had been before Jenn's unwanted interruption. "So, maybe I should treat you the same way...Speak, Matthew, speak."
As I took jab after jab, Matt remained motionless and every so often said my name, which varied from "Lil" to "Lily."
Jeff came sauntering into the room, drying his hair with a towel. "What's with all the yelling?" he asked Jenn. I could vaguely hear him over my own voice.
"She's trying out for American Idol," Jenn snapped, her anger with me spilling over into how she spoke to Jeff. "What the fuck does it look like? She's flipped her lid. Do something!"
"Like what? Hit her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper?"
"Are you just going to let her speak to your brother like that?"
"...This, this is exactly why we should never travel together! I have half a mind to just pack my crap and go home! That way, you can rest assure that I'm not screwing anyone behind your back."
Jeff didn't have to step in.
"Lil, that's enough!" Matt finally got enough backbone to raise his voice for the first time, and I'm not going to lie, I was completely turned on by it.
"Shut up, just shut the fuck up!" he shouted. He got up from the couch and stood in front of me, staring me down.   This was his way of putting me in my place. "You're sick of me. What the hell makes you, for one motherfucking second, think that I don't get sick of your whining, nagging, selfish little ass?! It's always, 'Matt, you're this. Matt, you're that.' When I give you my home, give you my bed, you're grateful, but God forbid I check into the motives of some asshole to make sure he doesn't stomp on your heart. If I had someone in my corner like that, then I wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now. Excuse me for giving a shit!"
"Mess?" I tried not to sound hurt by the fact that he had just insulted me like that. I grabbed my crutches and hopped to my feet, to stand up to him—both figuratively and literally. I hesitated for a second to keep from vomiting in his face. "Is that the way you feel, Matt? I'm a just a mess to you?"
"Right now," he nodded, clenching his jaw in anger. "Yeah, I would say you're a pretty fucking huge mess. You should realize how lucky you are, Lil." He laughed, but there was no humor behind it. "You're lucky, you are so fucking lucky that you have someone like me to put up with your neurotic-pity-me shit. I'm sick of it, Lil. If you want to go, then go. I'm not going to stop you."
I winced at his colorful choice of words, a variation of what Jenn had just reminded me of. I was lucky and should have been grateful for everything Matt has done for me, emotionally and physically. But for some ungodly reason, I couldn't acknowledge what he had to say and keep my mouth shut. That voice in the back of my mind was taunting me, daring me to make a permanent residence on his last nerve and then watch him spontaneously combust right before my eyes.
“Well, then,” I stuck my nose into the air and started to walk toward the door, but forgot about the trashcan in front of me, and pitched forward, into Matt’s chest.
I thought I heard him laughing under his breath as I struggled to regain my balance. Even though I was flushed from embarrassment, I pushed Matt out of my way, as if I meant to make myself look like an idiot.
“Where are you going?” he demanded.
“I’m leaving, you cum-guzzling half-wit,” I sneered, looking over shoulder.
Matt howled with phony laughter.
“Typical Lil,” he said, “You talk about me, but you’re the one that dishes it out and can’t take it.”
“Please,” I scoffed as I turned around to face him. “I can take as much as you throw at me, old-timer."
"I bet so, and that's why you're trying to leave the room, right?"
"You said I could leave, so I am!”
“Fine!”
“Fine!” I retaliated.
“Leave, all ready!”
“I AM!”
“Good!”
“I KNOW!”
I forgot that I couldn’t open the locker room door; it was too heavy. If I hadn’t been so steamed, I probably would have found my overdramatic exit hilarious. I spent several minutes trying to wedge myself in between a small opening my crutch had made as I pulled the door toward me.
It was no use. I slipped back inside the room.
“Do you need me to open the door?” Matt asked, gruffly.
“No,” I muttered, turning back around to face him. “I can do it myself. I don’t want your help. I don’t need it and I don’t need you…You’re so not worth it!”
Yeah right…It must have sounded convincing, though. The look in Matt’s eyes seemed to slightly shift to sadness.
“And I don’t need you!”
“Well, that’s good!” I turned back around, jiggling the door handle. “Jeff, will you come get this stupid door?” I asked, demandingly.
Jeff hesitated.
Two tears slowly slid down my cheeks. I kept my face to the door, so Matt could not see how upset I truly was.
“I just offered to get it for you,” Matt shrilled.
“Yeah,” I nodded. My voice cracking as I spoke, “and I said I didn’t need your help…Jeff, please come open this door.”
“Suit your fuckin’ self,” I heard Matt mutter. “I need to shower. I don’t have time for this.”
Jeff was still hesitant for some reason, which was starting to irritate me.
I start pounding a crutch against the door, shrieking, “Jeff, please open this friggin’ door!”
I could hear the showers running, so I could burst into hysterical sobs and Matt wouldn’t hear me, but I wasn’t about to do so in front of Jeff and Jenn.
“Go ahead,” I heard Jenn sigh as she encouraged Jeff to comply with my demand.
Jeff pulled me back from the door.
“And Lil…”
Jeff sighed, and I jumped as Matt’s angry tone filled the room.
“What?” I mumbled, begrudgingly facing him.
Matt’s hair was down now and he had a towel wrapped around his waist.
“One more thing,” he added.
He started charging toward me like a mad man. To my knowledge, he had never raised his hand to a woman, but it looked like he was about to pound me into the wall. Jeff must have been thinking the same thing.
“Dude, just let her leave, so you can both calm down,” he said, stepping protectively in front of me.
Matt said nothing as he gently pushed his brother out of the way.
He was staring down at me. His eyes were intense, like two burning pieces of ember, searing a hole through my defensive exterior shell to the point where I felt as naked as he was beneath that towel.
I shrieked, startled as he clutched a handful of my hair in one hand. He wasn’t gripping me in a violent way, but I wasn’t sure what his motives were.
"What the hell are you doing, man?" Jeff screeched as he tried to wedge himself between Matt and me.
My face hardened as I prepared myself for another verbal assault...or physical beat-down, but again, that was highly unlikely due to the loose grip he had on my hair.
"Matthew!" Jenn exclaimed. She had gotten up out of her chair and was standing on the opposite side of Matt. "Let go of her, right now! Just because she's insulted you, doesn't mean you have the right to hit her. What are you...?”
Matt's actions cut her off. He jerked me into him, wrapping his free arm around my waist as he roughly crushed his lips to mine.
At first, I was mortified. My only thought was how bad my breath must be. It didn't dawn on me until several minutes into the sultry, frustrated kiss that I realized Matt was kissing me and not trying to rip my clothes off.
My knees buckled and I fell against the door. Matt followed, his lips never leaving mine.
Part of me wanted to pull away, but his tongue was like a magnet reeling me back in. He was like an animal, consumed by his desire to explore the inner-workings of my mouth. Matt has always been a phenomenal kisser, but at that moment, I couldn't register any kind of thought. I moved my lips with his, succumbing to my own desire to be with him.
"You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel," Jeff started singing in between bouts of laughter.
Matt quickly jerked away.
I grunted as the back of my head smacked against the door. For a minute, all I could do was blink at him.
"What the heck was that?" I finally asked, completely ignoring the other two people in the room.
"I have no idea," he replied, clearing his throat and running a hand through his hair, "I was going be a dick and tell you to write me a check for my TV, but then...I don't know...I don't know...I'm, uh, going to go shower."
I nodded, trying to get my wobbling legs beneath me as I lifted away from the door. "And I'm going to...go somewhere other than here," I squeaked. "Jesus Christ, it's hot in here."
I started scrambling to get out the door again.
"Let me get that for you," Matt said quickly, wrapping his arm around my waist and guiding me back far enough to get the door.
When he touched me, that's when it happened...
Either I had miscarried—which I doubted, because there was no blood—or came all over myself. I was kind of hoping that I could have been like one of those little Chiwawas that pisses all over itself when it gets excited. Urine I could have handled, but the fact that I just orgasmed over a simple touch was ridiculous, not to mention embarrassing.   Goddamn Matt for messing with my head that much.
I staggered out the door and turned around, because I sensed Matt had something else to say.
And he did, a simple, awkward, "So, I'll see you in twenty minutes?"
I nodded as the door slowly closed.
I could hear Jeff snickering, "Please, tell me that you're smuggling a washcloth rack underneath that towel, man."

Framing Hanley, Jenn's favorite band, was playing on the radio as we made our way to the hotel. Matt and I were sitting in the backseat. I had my feet stretched out and my head was in his lap. He was doing that usual, calming stroking of my hair thing, but we still weren't speaking, not that we were still mad at one another. God knows, I should have wanted to push him out of the vehicle the moment it stopped at a red light, but I didn't...I couldn't. I was letting that useless love emotion control me again. I was Olivia Newton-Johnning-up the place with my sappy, hopeless devotion to Matt Hardy. Not to mention, I was desperate for him to kiss me again.
Matt and I really didn't discuss what had happened earlier, but we knew we were going to have to sooner or later. It was just a matter of who was going to lay their cards on the table first.
"You know," Matt began, speaking in a hushed tone so Jeff and Jenn couldn't overhear.
I looked up at him. Apparently, during my silent ramblings, my eyes had been fixed on the back of Jenn's seat.
"All the shit I said to you in the locker room," he continued when he felt he had my attention, "I didn't mean any of it, not a word."
I shook my head in disagreement. "Yes, you did. You meant it, but that's okay. I guess I needed a reality check...It's nice to see you put me in my place. I was beginning to think I had softened you up too much."
I could see him smile a little bit. "So I take it that I won't get an apology out of you?"
"Nope," I replied. "I meant every word I said, too...Well, okay, so you're not Lucas."
"Or a 'cum-guzzling half-wit,'" he added, matter-of-factly.
"I suppose that's true," I sighed, teasingly. "And I obviously do need your help opening doors."
"Obviously," he chuckled softly. "...A truce, then? I for one would like to have a clean slate."
I sighed again.
I didn't want a clean slate. I wanted a messy slate. I didn't want to forget what had happened, what he said, or what we did. The heat, the friction...
"A truce," I agreed, swallowing hard.
Matt waited for the track to change before he said anything else.
Jenn was turning up the volume. I guess the whispering was annoying her.
"And about the..." Matt hesitated and stopped stroking my hair, "the...physical situation I entangled us in."
I almost rolled into the floorboard, trying not laugh. "'Physical situation," I bit my lip to keep my chuckles at bay. "Sex is a 'physical situation.' What happened between us was indecent groping in public. You can call it what it was, a kiss...a really long, make-me-faint-against-a-door-kiss."
"Yes, well about...the," He barely spoke the word, "kiss..."
"Don't," I interjected before he could continue. "If you're going to say what I think it meant, then I don't need to hear it. If you're going to say that it's not what I think it meant, then I don't think I want to hear it."
"Huh?"
"Nothing."
He was silent, stroking my hair again.
I must have started falling asleep during our few minutes of silence, because when he spoke, I jumped a little bit.
"You know I love you, right?" he asked.
"What?"
"I love you," he repeated. "You know that, don't you? I mean, I've told you I do."
"Yes, you have."
"So I don't understand, what's there left to say? What am I missing?"
A lot, Matt. I thought to myself. A whole lot.
- 10
- 11
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The Guidelines of Sex & Friendship