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Amnesia and Star Child	By : coldblood Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Linkin Park Views: 1666 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Linkin Park. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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I blink and grab my hair with both hands, twisting the clumps I have hold of until some strands started pulling out.
This fucking headache!
I pace around and look out the window, only to be struck with more damn memories.
It’s insane!
It’s all roaring in my ears, sounds of screaming and alien calls, rumbling that seems to be coming deep within the earth’s core - I feel like a maniac, I’m listening to things I know are real but I can never prove - if I tell anyone I’m going to be dumped in a nutters camp and forgotten.
But I can’t let that happen - there’s something going on, I can feel it and I know Rosie can’t - I just know it’s coming and it’s bad - real bad.
Of course, I still don’t know what it is...

I walked through the forest, at last reaching the road I had been so desperately searching for, in the early dawn, with the sun just peaking over the hills in the distance.
At last, there it was, the road. It was Hell’s Highway sure - but after spending what must have been weeks in the forest after being dug out of the grave by Rosie, I wanted human contact again.
I didn’t think I’d ever trust again, but somehow Rosie had given me hope - at least enough hope to make me want to head to a town or somewhere.
I walked onto the road and looked from one way to the other, wondering which way was the right way.
Rosie pointed.
“Thanks Rosie.” I turned that way and started jogging up the road, happily listening to the blood pounding in my ears as I hurried along the black bitumen.
Rosie was loping easily by my side.
We passed a few cars, and then there was one going in the same direction as us pulled over.
“Need a lift?” A woman sitting in the car asked.
I stopped and checked her car.
It was a Nissan type with an empty trailer which Rosie quickly filled.
“Yeah okay.” I replied, going along with Rosie’s suggestion and getting in the passengers side of the car.
We got going and after a while of silence she started asking questions.
“So... What’s your name?”
“Blue. Yours?”
“Kim. Why are you on the way to Agoura? ”
“No particular reason.”
“Where you from?”
“Around.”
Kim looks at me, pulling her sunglasses down so she was peering over them.
“What would your parents think of you being so far away from town? Don’t you think it’s a little bit silly to go wandering the highways like this? Kid, it’s a long road you know.”
I shrug.
“Don’t have no parents.” I say at last.
She looks at me again with a raised eyebrow.
“So who are you with? You don’t look much older than fourteen.”
“Fifteen in six - five months. No one. I go it alone. I’ve got no one.”
I was lying of course, but I was good at it.
“Do you have a last name?”
I avoided my real name and -
“Sternkinder. Blue Sternkinder. What about you? So we’re even.” I look back at her, waiting.
“Kim Shinoda. So then Blue Sternkinder, you an orphan?”
“I guess so.”
“Why aren’t you in an orphanage then?” She asks suspiciously.
“Never was sent to one, actually, they never mentioned it. Parents just croaked and I hiked it. Nowhere else to go.” I reply, sounding totally relaxed - which probably wasn’t the right emotion at all.
Shouldn’t I be sounding teary or something?
“You sound pretty calm over the entire thing.”
“I was pretty young, eight or so I guess. Don’t remember them well. Getting upset over it would kill me.”
“I see.”
We sit in silence for ages.
“You like Blondie?” Kim asked.
“Dunno. Who’s Blondie?” I shrugged my shoulders.
“You don’t know Blondie?”
“No. AC DC?”
“You like them?”
“S’pose so.”
Kim shook her head with a smile and put the tape in.

We came into Agoura and pulled into a driveway of a reasonable suburban house.
“Hop out Blue.” Kim said, waving me out with her hand.
“What?” I look at her sideways.
“Well I’m not going to let you wander the streets. You’re staying here.” Kim smiles.
My throat constricts.
Good idea? Bad idea? Accept? Decline?
Shiiiiit...
“Um - o - okay. Just for a little while. Don’t want to be a problem or anything...” I managed to say.
“Don’t worry, you can stay as long as you like, but I’d feel better if you weren’t wandering the streets. It’s no happy valley in these parts.” She replied.
No kidding.
I get out the car and follow Kim into the house.
There’s a man sitting in the den on the left, heels kicked up watching some movie on T.V., he looked at me when we walked in.
“Who are you? Who is he Kim?” He looked at me then to Kim.
“His name is Blue. I found him walking the highway to Agoura.” Kim replied.
“Agoura hey? Where from?” He sat up and looked at me with interest.
“Nowhere particular.” I replied vaguely.
“Heh. One of those kids then? Homeless?”
This man is frank isn’t he?
He sure is, I thought, catching Rosie’s eye out the corner of mine.
“You look like a Mike. You mind me calling you Mike?” He asked.
And get rid of my old name? Hell yeah!
“Sure.” I reply happily.
“Kim’ll set you up in the guest room and you can sleep there. Okay?” He said.
“Right, hey, what’s your name?” I asked.
“Lesley.”
“Okay.”

I hit my head against the wall, pleading for the memories to stop - they just made me feel even worse, even though they’re the happier ones.
As usual no one’s listening, and the flashbacks keep nagging me.
I pace around the room, fighting nausea - suddenly I feel something heave in my guts and I can’t wait any longer - I dash to the bathroom and heave violently into the toilet until my knees feel weak.
The room tilts a bit when I stand up, but it only takes a few minutes to right itself.
I gargle some water and cradle my head pounding head in my hands wondering why the blasting headache won’t go away.

I lay in the bed that night listening, hearing Kim and Lesley talking amongst themselves.
“... We could adopt him. If he really doesn’t have any family, then we’d be allowed...” Kim.
“We’ll have to check first. Did you see the look in the boy’s eyes? He’s not a stupid nut - he could be lying. We’ll check and then if we can get the all clear, we’ll adopt him, but you’ll have to talk to the boy, who knows how he’ll take this? Don’t forget you have a baby on the way...” Lesley.
“I know honey, but no kid should be without a family.”
“Yeah. Just wait and we’ll see. We’ll see...”
I roll over, my heart’s pounding, but I’m happy.
Rosie touches her muzzle to my nose.
“Do you think it’s a good idea Rosie? I - I don’t want it to all happen again...” I mutter.
Rosie pulls back her lips and a horsy toothed arrangement smiles at me.
It’s safe here, listen to how they speak... It’s safe...
“I hope so...” I smile back and close my eyes.
I curl up tighter on the bed and after a while, barely even realizing it, I’m fast asleep.
The next few weeks were weird; there was no fighting, no shouting, breaking vases, drunkenness, violence or molestation - nothing.
Rosie kept flooding me with waves of what normal family life was like and I felt like I was almost riding on cloud nine, feeling like there was really happiness out there. Not that I didn’t feel it before - well, I was calm at least in the forest after the attack.
Rosie had killed him, then gave me the shovel and I buried him in what was meant to be my coffin.
I didn’t feel any remorse for doing what I did, I didn’t feel guilty about wiping away the evidence, nor scared that the law might catch me.
I had lived there in the forest almost like Tarzan, and I was content there, not ecstatic or thrilled or anything like that - just... Peaceful, living with coyotes and deer and whatever else was lurking there, without a care.
Here though I felt almost overjoyed - so close to excited that Mike became my name - Shinoda became my last name and the Blue Theboron that I had been vanished into the depths of my memories.
The Blue Sternkinder however, remained.
But everything, despite nightmares and my disfigurements, was getting better.
A month passed and there were constant visits from the police and social workers as they tried to work out what to do with me. In the end they decided I could stay, so Kim and Lesley signed the adoption papers and I became Mike Shinoda.
I wasn’t ever normal, but with Rosie by my side, I learned to control it so others never knew how different I was.
I started going to school - for the first time in ages - and there, I met Brad Delson, the popular guy, the guy all the girls liked to hang around with, the guy who looked like a bad ass, the guy who, despite everything he appeared to be, became my buddy.
Rosie set up my past, spreading telepathic waves around that modified people’s memories so it seemed that I had been with Kim and Lesley for ages, that I was adopted, but... Just such a long time back that I was pretty much not adopted... And by doing that, somehow, Rosie severed the connections between me and my past life completely.
I wasn’t Blue Theboron, he was someone else - I was Mike Shinoda - and always had been.

I crawl to the bed, exhausted beyond description, my entire body’s shaking as though I’m cold and I feel so weak I’m sure I can’t stand upright anymore.
The headache fades as my head hits the pillow.
“My life as a psycho. The end.” I whisper into the darkness.
With one last surge of energy, I heave my legs up onto the bed and then close my eyes, promptly slipping into a dreamless sleep.
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- 13
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Amnesia and Star Child