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When You Go	By : poe Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 2385 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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No knowie, no ownie, no suee.
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He found her on the bathroom floor.
Her work had called the band's house looking for her that night, said she was supposed to work the late shift, but had never shown up. Frank had immediately driven to their house. It's not because I care, he told himself. I just want them to stop calling me....
The front door was locked, and there weren't any lights on. His first thought was that she had packed up and left town. No, that doesn't feel right. He knew Luca. That wasn't something she would do. What if she'd gone and done something stupid? Who cares? It's not my fault. I'm not the one who fucked Gerard right after I left her....
He unlocked the front door and stepped inside the house. It seemed as quiet as a tomb. Everything was exactly the way he had seen it when he'd left three weeks ago. Except the couch. Blankets and pillows were strewn accross it, like someone had been sleeping there. What's the matter? Couldn't sleep in our bed anymore? Good, he thought I hope you can't sleep at all....
He was in agony even as he harboured those thoughts. He thought it was bad before, well, he felt infinitely worse now. He had seem them.......together. He couldn't get the image of her straddling Gerard out of his mind. The way she'd called out his name, slammed her body onto his...It made him want to vomit everytime.....How could she even pretend she loved me......
That thought in mind, he'd checked every room in the house, with no sign of Luca anywhere, other than the couch. He was about to leave when he'd caught a glimpse of something through the slightly ajar door to the bathroom. He pushed inside, and felt his heart stop instantly, his blood turning to ice in his veins.

He saw her body draped over the tub, blood dripping down to the drain from her blatantly slit wrists that hung limply over the tub side. Red stained the whole front of her nightgown, and pooled underneath her on the floor.
She looked pale.
She looked dead.
"LUCA!!!!" Frank screamed, leaping accross the room to grab her. She was still warm as her pulled her into his lap, ripping strips off of her nightgown to tie around her wrists in an effort to staunch the blood flow. Tears streamed freely down his cheeks as he grabbed his cell phone with a bloody hand, frantically dialling 911. He told them his girlfriend had slit her wrists trying to kill herself. There was a lot of blood, on the floor, in the tub. She was still warm....
They promised him through his hysterics that an ambulance was on its way as fast as it could drive. So much blood......
He rocked her still form back and forth in his arms, sobbing, not caring about anything but her, praying to every God he could think of to keep her from succumbing. He studied her face for signs of life, any movement or indication that she was still with him. He pushed the hair off of her face kissing her forhead, smoothing her hair down.
"YOU STUPID GIRL, LUCA!" He cried into her hair. "Why would you go and do something so STUPID?!" He cried harder as he shook her, trying to get her to wake up, to see that he was there. Nothing.
He looked around the room, searching for the object she had used to cut herself. It was so hard to focus......Something on the counter caught his eye. He reached up and grabbed it. An envelope. Addressed to him. He opened it up, the blood on his hands smudging the words....
Frank,
If you are reading this, then I have finally fixed the horrible mess I've made: I've freed you from me.

I'm sorry that it had to come to this, but I'm sure that deep down you know you wanted this to happen. I know you hate me, and I would expect no less, if the situation was reversed. But I want you to know that I loved you. I always did, I just never realized it until now. And I love you even as i hold this razor blade to my chest. I love you more than you will ever know. And that is why I have to do this. It's for you.
I have killed you with my actions. And maybe you aren't physically dead, but it is a worse kind of death. I have murdered all the trust you placed in me, all the things you found in me, and all the love and hope and kindness that you gave me.

I have killed everything we ever had. The only punishment I have now is death. To let you go on without me and everything that we were.
I always loved you, Frank. I will always love you. And please, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, for all of this, rest assured that I will know it.
Then, maybe one day, I can be free as well.
With all of my love, for all of eternity,
Luca......
"NO!" He screamed as the paramedics tried to pull him away from her. "YOU CAN'T!!! I HAVE TO STAY WITH HER!!!" He was hysterical, kicking and screaming as one of the medics sat him down in the hallway, telling him to breathe. They were going to take care of her.....
He finally remained sitting after they told him that if he didn't then he would have to leave, or be sedated. He couldn't leave. He had to be here. He had to be here for her.
He grabbed one medic's arm as he ran by. "Is she going to be okay?!" he demanded. The medic looked at him grimly.
"I'm sorry, sir, I just don't know...." he trailed off with a look that said more than he did, and ran into the bathroom.
Frank sat in silence. The noises of people moving and shouting had now dimmed in his mind. He saw them running about, wrapping her wrists, putting a blanket around her, lifting her onto a cart. Everything unfolded in slow motion, as he just sat on the floor, numb......Oh, Luca.....No.....not like this.......I forgive you.......,
He looked up as they carted her off to the awaiting ambulance. He ran out just in time to watch it speed away, throwing up a cloud of dust.
"LUCA! I FORGIVE YOU!!!" He shouted as the ambulance left his sight, hoping and praying that she had heard him. That she knew she had a reason to live.
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- 13
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When You Go