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The Moon and the Sun	By : soleil Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Malice Mizer Views: 3125 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Malice Mizer. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Mizu who played muse for me and helped me see Gackt through other eyes.

Chapter 11

Gackt had lost himself in his thoughts as he was driving back to Tokyo with the silent Mana next to him in the passenger seat. He would call himself lucky if he'd hear more than another 3 words from the object of his affection that night. Dinner hadn't probably gone as Mana had imagined it and he was currently sulking silently with his head turned away from him.

Gackt had to suppress a snicker as he recalled Mana's face becoming almost purple out of shame at Közi's announcement that he had to leave early because he had promised his GIRLFRIEND he wouldn't be late..

Mana had been never known as one to lie easily and if Mana had lied to him about seeing Közi (which he obviously had), that would mean that the dark-haired man was taking desperate measures in his attempt to avoid him.

He was desperate because he was scared - scared of being hurt - by him.

After all it looked like Mana was really unbelievably fragile and shy. Gackt decided to take pity on him and not to push him anymore for that night.

Közi's words hadn't stopped swirling in his mind the whole evening through..

'It was always you...'

'He changed because of you... '

'He loved you..'

'So much time lost..' Gackt thought bitterly, his heart drowning in regret. 'So many years we could have been together. If only I had known.. If only he had said something..'

They both had been so stupid..

Gackt had set his mind now, more than ever to get through to Mana.

They were already nearing Mana's house when Gackt almost involuntarily spoke in a quiet whisper so full of unspoken emotions and ridden with pain: "Please give me another chance."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mana glancing unsure at him. "Did you say something Gackuto?"

Gackt realised that his words must have been covered up by the sound of the roaring car-engine.

"I said: we are almost there." he said louder this time sticking to his original plan not to push the other man any further for today.

"I will have to do some recording tomorrow, so I won't be able to meet you." he continued apologetically as if they originally had plans with each other for the next day. Mana just threw him an annoyed and exasperated glance before rolling his eyes. "Oh, such a pity.." he murmured sarcastically. Gackt ignored him completely and went on with what he wanted to say: "So unless I will finish early - which I doubt, we'll be able to see each other the day after tomorrow again. I'll try to come up with something nice for us to do. Maybe a long walk in one of the parks - you need to get more out, you are so pale.."

"Thank you," Mana snapped "I'm rather proud of my paleness. It's nice to hear that you think I look sick."

"Come on Mana, don't be childish. You know that I think you look stunning.. I loose my breath when I am looking at you." Gackt almost whispered the last sentence and Mana turned his head quickly to the passenger window again in an attempt to hide the light blush creeping up his cheeks, but Gackt had already seen it. Those unconscious slips from Mana, however small they were, gave him hope, convinced him to not give up.

Never again give up like he had back then.

When he stopped the car in front of Mana's house, he saw the other man moving as fast as lightening while opening the door and slipping out of the car into a safe distance.
"Sayonara(*)." Mana said dryly leaning shortly against the window to hear Gackt reply: "Oyasumi nasai(**), enjeru. Dewa matta(***)!"

Gackt took off not bothering that his love still showed him the cold shoulder - because a plan had suddenly started forming in his mind.

---

'There is no use in arguing with the insane. There is no use ..." Mana chanted to himself while he fished in his purse for his keys to the front-door.

The screeching sound of tires stopping abruptly on asphalt and a car door being shut made him turn around to see Camui approaching with quick steps. Mana's heart started to beat frantically and he fought the urge to start running. What did he want now? Why did he come back? He had been so proud of himself that he had managed to exit the car before Camui had the chance to give him a good-night kiss or do something stupid along those lines. Maybe if he found his keys right now he could quickly open the door and vanish behind it before...

"You forgot something.." Gackt said from a few feet away holding out the vicious roses he had given him earlier that night.

"Oh." Mana said and was relieved that Gackt hadn't come back to attack him. He held out his hand to take the bouquet in his arms careful of the thorns this time and turned his eyes to the man in front of him again.

"Oyasumi nasai." Mana said waiting for Gackt to turn away and leave, but the other man kept on standing there and staring at him. When Mana was about to turn to the door again Gackt took another step forward invading Mana's personal space.

"Stay away from me please" Mana whispered almost panicked before he could stop himself while unconsciously taking a step backwards. He was afraid. He was confused and tired and he just felt the urge to cry in frustration. Gackt seemed shocked at first upon hearing Mana's whispered plea, but then he raised his hand to cup Mana's cheek.

"I can't." he simply said.

Gackt's words reminded Mana of the time when he used to say the exact same words before pushing Mana away, before turning his back on him and he felt his eyes tear up.

Before Mana knew it he was engulfed in Gackt's arms, the bouquet of roses crushed in between them. He was about to push him away when he realised that Gackt was singing in his low voice next to his ear so he stood completely still and listened to the voice he used to love so much.

"If I ever hurt you until you want to cry
At that time, I'll sing for you until your tears dry up.
If it's the dream that you chased
Don't be afraid of getting hurt
On nights then you tremble, I'll hold you close
And so
Stop with that sad looking face
Let me see your smile
It's more wonderful and more precious to me than anything else, that smile"

Mana found himself relaxing against his will in Camui's arms. He realised how much he had missed hearing him sing. His voice had become a little rougher along the years but it had the same calming effect on Mana as it used to. Intrigued he murmured into Gackt's shoulder: "Is it one of yours?"

"Hai." Gackt answered. "You never heard any of my songs, did you?"

"Iie." Mana said forcing himself to not feel guilty about changing hastily the radio station or TV channel for the last seven years whenever a song of his was on.

"If you had it would have spared us both from lots of pain." Gackt said quizzically but when Mana raised his head to ask him what he had meant by that Gackt said: "Nevermind. It's late, I should go."

Mana just nodded and tried once more to turn to his door but Gackt's arms didn't let go of him. "Mana?" he said waiting for the dark-haired man to look at him again. "Promise me that you'll willingly meet me again."

Mana just stared at him with an expression as blank as his mind currently was.

"Please." Gackt begged.

"Why?" he asked after a while.

"Because I want it more than anything else." Gackt said with so much honesty that the guitarist was tempted to believe him.

"What if I don't want to?" Mana insisted but he was already lost in Gackt's eyes, not knowing what he really wanted anymore.

"Please.. I'll do whatever you want. I'll wash your car, I'll walk your dog, whatever. Just promise to meet me again."

"I don't have a dog." Mana said reflexively, a warm feeling spreading in his gut when he saw Gackt smile at his words.

"Oh. Than we'll have to walk Belle!"

"You are so sneaky, Camui!" Mana accused but actually cracked a smile.

"Maybe, but it works. So?" big blue orbs were begging Mana to give in.

"Only if you promise to not try anything funny again." he said before he could stop himself.

"I promise that I won't kiss you again unless you want me to." the grin on Gackt's face grew even wider as he saw Mana blush madly while he remembered that he himself had been the one to initiate the kiss earlier in the car.

"Ok. It's a deal. See you soon." Mana said hastily just to get away from Gackt. Breaking rather forcefully away from the arms that were still holding him he turned to the door to hide his red face. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so embarrassed. He unlocked the door and slipped inside the house as fast as he could. One last glance through the small window next to the door showed him Camui waving happily goodbye with a big grin on his face.

Mana sneered a little(out of habit)and proceeded to go upstairs.

* : sayonara = goodbye
** : oyasumi nasai = good night
*** : dewa matta = see you soon

Note: The song Camui-san sings to Mana-sama is called 'Kimi ga oikaketa yume'(and belongs to him and Nippon Crown-not me). I originally planned to use the Japanese lyrics but decided against it because I thought it was important that everyone (including those who don't speak Japanese and those who don't know this song) would be able to understand what Gackt was singing to Mana without having to search for the notes and interrupt the flow of the story in the process. Here are the lyrics once more in romanji:

moshimo kimi ga nakitai kurai kizutsuitara
sonna toki ni wa namida ga kareru made utatteageru
kimi ga oikaketa yume nara
kizutsuku koto ni osorenai de
furueru yoru ni wa kimi o dakishimete ageyou
dakara
kanashisou na kao wa yamete
kimi no egao o miseteokure
dare yori suteki na boku no taisetsu na sono egao o..
- 11
- 12
- 13
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The Moon and the Sun