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Bromance: A Hiddlesworth Story	By : flagfish Category: Casts RPF > Thor (movies) > Thor (movies) Views: 4616 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not know Chris Hemsworth or Tom Hiddleston. This story is a work of fiction, and I make no money or profit from it.

Chapter List
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“It…was…”
“It was what? Go on already…!”
Elsa’s accent was especially pronounced when she was impatient; she was on her way out of the house when Chris called, but stilled in her tracks on hearing he and Tom did it.
What, like really did it? Like— you know— did it…?
Then Chris wasn’t exactly certain; did that count as doing it…?
He found himself oddly enthusiastic to bring it up, like it was every bit as exciting to talk about as it was utterly humiliating.
She wanted to be sure she heard right, that she wasn’t jumping to conclusions, before she let it become her big fantasy for the year.
No, they really did it. And now Chris wasn’t quite answering how it was.
She already had visions of Chris slamming Tom on the mattress, the two of them impatiently ripping at each other’s clothes and kissing relentlessly, muttering between breaths about why did we wait so long...?
Nah, she knew it couldn’t be like that. But just the fact they really did it was enough.
“It…wasn’t… exactly great,” Chris finally said, and Elsa frowned; she didn’t want to hear conclusive proof that her fantasy held no legitimate basis; she was ready to defend it, with fully elucidated arguments on why she won’t be convinced they didn’t want to.
“You slept with Tom and it wasn’t that great…?!” She asked, like the very concept defied all logic.
“I heard that,” Tom laughed from the other end of the couch, “I’m perplexed, myself.”
“Fuck, he’s right there?” Elsa gasped, fighting embarrassment; she snickered and called hi to him.
“She says hi,” Chris said, and Tom replied, “Yeah, I heard. Hello…!”
“She wants to know how it could have been bad.”
“Yeah, why was it bad?”
Now both Chris and Tom went into deep speculation, humming while rubbing at their mouths, looking at each other for the best explanation.
“Think we don’t really know what we’re doing,” Tom said after some time, and it was the cutest thing Elsa had ever heard. “You don’t know what you are doing?” she asked, sounding very Spanish, “What do you mean, you don’t know?”
“This is embarrassing,” Tom murmured to Chris.
No, that was the cutest thing she’d ever heard.
“You ought to be here to instruct us,” Chris told her, and even Tom agreed that would be a good idea.
Tom could hear her laugh hopefully, like she were saying, don’t get my hopes up. She promised she could tell them exactly what to do if they wanted. She could draw complete diagrams.
They didn’t mind so much if it was for her. They didn’t mind if it became something sexy and appealing, or even empowering, instead of disgusting and ridiculous. They told her in intimate detail everything that transpired, all the embarrassing parts they wanted to forget, they argued with each other loudly about exactly how it went down.
“That’s not what happened, I’ll tell her what happened,” Tom said, trying to take the phone from Chris; he managed to get it close to his ear while Chris still was holding it and trying playfully to pull it away.
“I don’t know how you manage with him, Elsa,” Tom said, all cordiality and pleasant manners, “your husband… is… colossal…”
She was nearly in tears laughing, she went on about how she was fanning herself.
“He is, isn’t he…!” she said, Chris was actually flushing.
“But doesn’t it hurt?” Tom continued, and now Chris finally pulled the phone away, grinning big, playfully shoving Tom away. “Give me that,” he said, “you’ve had your fun… talking about my… attributes…”
“Your attributes. Very nice attributes.”
“Fuck off,” Chris said pleasantly, still red in the face.
He went on to tell her how they agreed to switch for the next try. “No… really?” she asked, like at first she couldn’t envision it, but became ever more intrigued the more she thought of it. “Oh, now I’m really sorry I can’t be there to watch!”
“To watch me be properly humiliated?”
“Oh, it’s about humiliation now, is it…!” Tom cried, “is that what it is!”
“No…! No, no… not like that…”
They spent the next half hour discussing it with her on the phone, and she had plenty of ideas. Ideas that sounded more like fantasies than anything they could imagine doing, to the point where they’d stopped taking her seriously and were listening for sheer entertainment value.
“Should I be writing this down?” Tom asked, like he were really about to grab a pen and notepad, “was that a bare-handed spanking or more like, you know, with a belt…?”
“I never said that! Where’s he getting that…!” She laughed.
She did give them some helpful advice, but was also reluctant to push them too much— she didn’t want them to feel pressured and try to distance themselves from the whole thing.
“Do you know the amount of pain I’m about to go through for you?” Chris asked jokingly, and Tom huffed, “It’s not that painful…! Stop being such…”
“Such a baby…!” Elsa interjected, and Chris laughed, “Yeah, I know, I’m being a baby.”
“Yeah, I went through it, now man up.”
“That’s right,” Chris said, comically flexing his muscles, but it was an unintentionally realistic reminder of how built he really was.
“Jesus,” Tom laughed, reaching to feel his arm, “You really are so…”
“Are you two starting in there?” Elsa asked, “should I let you at it?”
“No!”
“No, no, nothing like that…”
“No, Chris was just… he was… flexing… his biceps…”
“Ohh… Yes, he's pretty hot!” Elsa laughed.
“Don’t let it get to his head,” Tom grinned, and Chris assured them he would never.
“It’s like you’re talking about me… right in front of me,” he said, cutely embarrassed.
“Only good things,” Tom assured him, and Elsa added, “Yes, only good things…!”
They hung up on a good note and in much better spirits; she had somehow made them feel better about the whole thing.
Tom observed as Chris sorted his phone, checking email quickly before placing it down on the coffee table. He started getting up after that, but Tom tugged him briskly by the wrist, they snickered knowingly as they fell on the couch without grace.
“You are bloody heavy,” Tom said against his lips, “how much do you weigh, like a million stone?”
“Yeah, says the guy who pulled me…!”
“I did pull you, didn’t I,” he could tell Chris was trying not to put his weight on him after that.
He was determined he was going to do this well. Like a personal challenge. Like that time he went down on Chris and made it his mission to appear like he’d fully enjoyed every minute, even though it was frightfully dull to do— he quite thought he succeeded in making it seem pleasant.
That’s what he’d do now. He’d man up and actively look up how this was meant to be done, without shame, and—
No, could he really do that? How it felt for him the day before, that was bad because the whole thing was weird. Because, it occurred to him now, it’s probably an acquired taste. There was probably no way to make it anything but strange the first few times, and it would be unnatural to pretend to do it otherwise: he and Chris knew each other too well to fool each other in that regard. All the romantic stuff he’d learned through life to charm and enchant women just wasn’t relevant here, and he’d just have to hope he wasn’t going to screw it up too bad.
“Stay in my bed tonight,” he asked, and Chris smiled against him, “Yeah, we’re starting to get used to that.”
(On to Chapter 13)
- 11
- 12
- 13
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Bromance: A Hiddlesworth Story