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Five Finger Death Punch	By : mmarc56 Category: Celebrities - Misc > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1552 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not know Five Finger Death Punch or any of its members, this story is a work of fiction, and I made no money writing it.

Chapter List
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Chapter Eleven: The Solution

Jason kicked Zoltan lightly with his foot, and then harder when he didn’t wake. The younger guitarist groaned, brought a hand to his face, felt the barf dried on his skin, and then groaned again in disgust.

“Get up asshole,” he said groggily, kicking the man again. Zoltan turned his head to see Jeremy collapsing onto a table chair, and swatted at the air.

“What happened?” he moaned.

“A lot of shit…” Jason said with hesitation, “I don’t remember details.”

They was a long pause before Zoltan asked, “D—did Ivan and—”

“Would you shut up?” Jeremy said from the table in the background.

“Eat a bag of dicks,” he mumbled as he sat up. “Oh, my head…”

Jason spoke up, “Yeah, we saw everything.”

“Jason!” Jeremy censured, “Shut your ass!”

“What’s your problem?”

“Guys! Shh…” Zoltan groaned, cradling his head. “So, what? Did they do it?”

“They did something…”

“Jason,” Jeremy warned again, “Just stop talking about it.”

“Why? What’s your problem?”

“What’d they do? I can’t believe I missed it…” Zoltan added under his breath.

“I—I don’t remember details…”

The drummer exhaled loudly.

“I remember Ivan pissing himself, though. And barfing.”

“He pissed himself?”

“Yeah.”

Zoltan opened his mouth, hesitated, and then asked, “Was it hot?”

“Heh, fuck yeah.”

“Jason!” Jeremy scolded again, “Shut your damn mouth! I don’t want to relive last night!”

“Oh, like you didn’t like watching Ivan and Chris awkwardly rub against each other,” he sneered. Ivan and Chris stepping into the room caught his attention and everyone froze.

“What?” Ivan asked, fingers twitching.

“I—I…” Jason stammered. “G—good morning, guys…”

“You saw us last night?” Chris asked with sharp and fearful eyes.

“W—Well, I mean, you left the door open, so we just, like, caught some of it walking by,” he rambled, “But, like, it’s cool ‘cause we know you were just drunk and that you’re not into each other like that so there’s no reason to worry, because, like, you didn’t even really do anything from the little bit Jeremy and I caught. You guys were out in a matter of seconds.”

“I thought you were just walking by,” Ivan said through his teeth.

“Uh… Ideal timing? No?”

He raised his voice, “Did you stop by for the show, huh?! Jerk yourselves off to some live porn? Or did you just want something to EMBARRASS US WITH LATER? Y’ALL ARE DISCUSSING IT NOW, AREN’T YA? WANNA FILL US IN ON WHAT THE FUCK WE DID?” Zoltan threw his head into his hands.

“N—nothing!” Jason pleaded.

“NOTHING?!”

“I—it was, like, kissing! It was hardly fucking!”

“You-fucking-son-of-a-bitch,” Ivan slurred quickly as he stepped towards the guitarist and grabbed him by the collar.

“Ivan!” Chris shouted. Ivan screamed into his face until he was pulled back by the bassist.

“Fuck off, Chris!” He yanked himself free and then randomly sent a hand flying into Jeremy’s face. “Don’t think you’re getting away with anything either!” Jeremy fell off the chair and onto the floor, and Ivan said, “Ah, my fucking headache!” He then covered his red face with his arms like he was about to start a full-blown temper tantrum.

“Sit down!” Chris commanded, “I’m just as pissed off as you, but you gotta get a hold of yourself!”

“Stop yelling!” Zoltan requested earnestly.

Ivan kicked a chair and then sat down in it without responding or uncovering his face.

“The rest of you!” The bassist swept a hand out to reference the other members of the band, “Sit your asses down! I wanna know what the fuck went on last night.”

“Nothing—” Jason started.

“Sit down!” Chris shouted again, and the three men obliged, quickly taking a seat around the table.

The bassist sat down beside Ivan, whose shoulders were shaking with bottled-up rage. “Alright, what happened? What did you guys see?”

“I didn’t see shit!” Zoltan exclaimed throwing his hands up in a display of innocence. “I was passed out! I’ve still got barf on my face,” he added, furiously wiping his cheeks on his t-shirts sleeves, “See?”

“Really, honest! Jeremy and I didn’t see anything major—” Jason claimed, but the singer uncovered his face, slammed his fists on the table, and shouted at him.

“Liar! Fucking liar!” Spit flew out of his mouth and his eyes were visibly watering, yet on fire at the same time.

“What’d you see?” Chris implored, “If you’ve got the balls to talk about it amongst each other, you better have the balls to tell it to us.”

“Just—” Jason exhaled and gave in, “We were horny, come on, man. We were all horny last night.” Chris waited. “J—Just—” He exhaled loudly again, “You guys just sort of undressed each other and… rubbed against each other…” he mumbled the last part shamefully. “I—I’m sorry we watched, but fuck, man, I don’t even remember most of it. I was too drunk.”

“And I regretted it last night, too, so don’t think it was, like, anything glorious. It was a disaster, really,” the drummer threw in. Jason nodded in agreement.

“What’d you guys do then?” Ivan seethed, “You fuck each other outside the door or something?”

“I— well— no, but we were horny, so…” Jason’s voice trailed off briefly, “W—we may have, like, you know,” he made a motion with his hand to signal masturbation. Everyone was quiet. “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

After that, Zoltan decided to speak when no one else would, “We’re not gonna hold anything against you guys. We know you were drunk. We all were. So let’s just cut everyone some slack and pretend this didn’t happen, alright?”

“We can’t pretend this didn’t happen,” Chris said, and Ivan looked at him with concern. “You two saw something personal, and it’s fucking sick that you tried to make it happen last night. But guess what? It happened – you got what you wanted – but now you regret it. Well, maybe you should’ve just kept to yourselves. If you really wanted to see two men kiss and fuck each other so you could get your rocks off you could’ve just searched for it anonymously on the internet.”

“C—Chris, I mean, Jason and I have kissed each other sober, so… we’re not gay either, but it’s okay to be curious, right?” Zoltan said.

“Yeah, and how many times did you do that?” Ivan said suddenly, “Twice? I’ve kissed Chris over and over again, even before last night, because he and I are more than just ‘curious’ for each other, and you know what they say right? Curiosity killed the cat, so if you keep getting ‘curious’ you just might wake up dead. And I don’t even care what you think about me now. I ain’t gay, but I’m making an exception, not just being ‘curious’. So go ahead: say something about it.” No one said anything. “You all are pussies.”

“Ivan,” Chris said to him, “Why’d you tell them that?”

“Who gives a shit?! I don’t! I know they know better than to go telling anyone,” he shot them all a threatening glare, “so I’m not worried! Fuck all this, Chris,” he stood up, “They fucking exploited us, and I don’t wanna feel dirty about what I’ve done with you. I didn’t before, but now,” he stammered some and his voice cracked, “now this ain’t just between you and I like it should be,” he sniveled, “now everybody knows about it and there’s no turning back from it now!” He started to whimper angrily, and Chris gestured for him to sit down.

“Ivan,” Jeremy started gently, “We all got something to be ashamed of: I mean, Jason and I jacked ourselves off to you two fucking – which I am thoroughly ashamed of – so if you guys love each, we’re not in any position to judge that.”

“Whoa, don’t go throwing around words like that,” Chris said with a shake of his hand.

“Yeah, we never said anything about love,” Ivan concurred.

“So, what, you guys are just fuck buddies?” Zoltan asked. “‘Cause that sounds fine to me,” he laughed.

“Yeah, like you two still wanna fuck women, but then you also got each other for something different?” Jason added to the question.

The bassist and singer looked at each other, nodded, and smiled. “Yeah that sounds about right, I suppose,” Chris answered.

The five men laughed.

“Well, hell then,” Zoltan said, “Why are we treating this like it’s such a big deal? I don’t have a problem with that. I don’t have a problem with kissing you either,” he told Jason.

“Okay, settle down.” The guitarist patted his shoulder.

Ivan exhaled and relaxed in his seat. He wiped his eyes one last time and looked at the ceiling with relief.

“So I’m guessing we’re all a little gay then?” Jeremy said.

“Yeah, seems like it.” Chris nodded. Everyone agreed. “Do you feel better?” He asked the singer. He nodded silently. “Eh, come on. You’re fine.” He put an arm around him and pulled him in, but he fought against it.
“So, um, just to be clear,” Jason said, “We’re all in agreement to never talk about the disastrous events of last night again, right?” Everyone agreed with enthusiasm. “Alright, then. We’re good.”
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Five Finger Death Punch