You Can't Control Destiny (Completed) | By : pensfan100 Category: Casts RPF > Star Wars (all) > Star Wars (all) Views: 12132 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the people I am writing about in this fanfiction. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
You Can’t Control Destiny – Chapter 13
Spring had finally blossomed in Australia. New flowers bloomed; birds sang different songs, even the smell of spring floated in the air, that indefinable scent that announces winter has lost its hold. It also brought with it the end of principal photography, something that Hayden dreaded. An awareness trickled through his dreams at night, slipping through the mental barriers he’d constructed to keep it from polluting his mind. Yet, an ominous, dark cloud filtered through the cracks in his psyche warning of terrible changes on the horizon. If he didn’t run for shelter, it whispered to him in his sleep, he would be swept away from himself. While he could never quite figure it out in the mornings, the apprehension took root in the dark corners of his mind like a virus preying unseen on the healthy tissue, weakening and dividing.
Natalie still had a few days’ shooting to go when Hayden finished. Over the last couple of weeks they had decided to fly home together, but Natalie always remained hesitant about looking beyond that day. On the outside she appeared to be her l, cl, cheerful self, but more and more Hayden saw the changes; the biting of her lip, the distracted stare, the loss of concentration, the furtive, fearful glances when she thought he didn’t see. Everyone else went on about his or her business, seeing nothing different, but Hayden was too close to her now to not see her agitation. When alone together, she still burrowed into his arms and lost herself in him, but with a desperation of something precious slipping out of her grasp in spite of herself. The loving grew fiery, demanding, and when he tried to talk to her about it her face hardened with a firm resolve and she scurried away from him emotionally. He had lost the oars to his boat and now floated with no chance for direction, hopelessly adrift. If he advanced, she retreated, if he retreated to reassure her, she advanced. Bewildered, he was a dog on a chain running around in circles.
Hayden had packed some of his things so when he left Australia he wouldn’t be throwing them into suitcases haphazardly and leaving things behind. As he sat at the small kitchen table going over his packing list his eyes absently fell on Natalie’s script. The night before she had come over to have him help her rehearse but one thing had led to another and they had gotten into another argument. If he said something was black, she said it was white; if he said the day was sunny, she assured it was cloudy. And when he had the audacity to ask her if she was ready to start her period and had PMS she’d exploded and stormed out.
Sighing heavily, Hayden picked up the script and gave it a wry smile. I might as well go smooth things over, he decided. She must have the worst case of PMS I’ve ever seen. Worse than either of my sisters!
The knock on the door interrupted Natalie’s senseless chewing on her bottom lip. With eyes smudged from another bad night’s sleep she stared listlessly at the door. She knew it was Hayden and she knew what she had to do and she knew exactly how unreasonable he was going to be at her perfectly logical plan. She rolled her brown eyes as she thought about his PMS comment the night before and got up to let him in. Ironic that he would accuse her of PMS when no one else but him would know she had just finished her period yesterday. He could be such an idiot she smiled to herself, but such a sweet idiot.
When the door opened Hayden noticed the tired circles under Natalie’s eyes denoting lack of sleep, but the pretty little yellow sundress she wore distracted his eyes to the beauty of her form. The color lent a golden sheen to her skin and drew attention to the golden brown of her eyes. His eyes lowered admiring her slender legs and a smile quirked his lips as he caught sight of the ankle bracelet around her delicate ankle. Desire shot through his veins reminding him it had been days since they’d made love and why it had been so long. Mentally whapping himself in the head he gave her a sheepish grin.
“Hi,” he held out the script. “I, uh, am sorry about the PMS comment last night. It just dawned on me what today is.”
Ice melted from her heart at his endearing grimace and she smiled into those appealing blue eyes. He excelled at breaking her resolve without even trying to do it. His grin widened into a smile and he bent and gave her a tiny kiss after the door closed behind him.
“Apology accepted,” she chuckled, throwing the script on the table. “It’s not your fault. I’ve just been on edge.” The smile faded and she bit her lip.
“Are you still worried about us flying home together?” Hayden leaned against the back of the couch, crossing his arms. Natalie said nothing but her eyes spoke volumes. Hayden shook his head a little exasperated. “Who cares if we fly somewhere together, and if people suspect something why does it even matter to you?”
Cold, hard reason settled across Natalie’s features, her hands held out in supplication. “I told you! I don’t want the integrity of our acting questioned by anybody! And they might do that if they find out!”
“And I’ve told you if the critics can’t tell by our performances then to hell with them!” Hayden argued, closely watching her body language. “No one on set could or would argue our professionalism! This has never gotten in the way of our work! Even Ewan never commented on it, and if anyone had noticed it would’ve been him! Or George.”
“I’m not talking about the cast and crew,” Natalie’s mouth tightened. “It’s the rest of the entertainment field that bothers me.”
Hayden shook his head and looked around the room in agitation before staring back at her. “So what is it you want to do? Fly back separately? That’s stupid!”
“I am a Harvard graduate,” Natalie sniffed, brown eyes narrowed in offense. “I am NOT stupid.”
An accusing finger pointed at her. “I didn’t say you were stupid! I am saying for us to fly separately in order to placate others is stupid.”
“That’s not what it sounded like,” Natalie fumed, whipping up her anger to sustain her through this next bout.
Helplessly, Hayden threw his hands in the air striding to the other side of the room on his long, lean legs. “You have been like this for the past two weeks. Something is going on behind those pretty eyes of yours. Care to enlighten me?”
They faced each other across the room like combatants ready for war. Inside Natalie shook with the import of what she had to say, but it had to be said. If he did not like it, too bad, but they could work it out. She was sure she could convince him to come around to her way of thinking. After all, he was the one who said he was a sucker for her whenever he gave into a whim of hers.
Natalie drew a deep breath and unconsciously crossed her arms in defense. “Ok,” she stated, patient and businesslike, “hear me out before you say anything and go off your rocker.” He gestured with a hand for her to go on, his face darkening. “What has happened between us happened so fast…” Hayden’s mouth dropped open in disbelief and she hurried on, recognizing his astonishment. “It just happened! How do we even know if this is real? How do we know it’s not one of those awful on set trysts that die after a shoot is over?”
“Tryst?” The word fell out of Hayden’s mouth like a stone, his voice strangled, incredulous, and dangerously quiet.
“You know what I mean,” Natalie rushed on, nervously watching his body still and harden into a statue. “I don’t think ours is, don’t get me wrong, but how can we be sure? I have an idea.” Silence frosted from across the room, blasting her confidence. Angered that he could unsettle her, she squared her shoulders. “Look. You have a movie to do in Toronto. I have to go to Montreal for mine. That’ll be how long, two, three months? I think it would be wise not to see or speak to each other during that time. If we still feel like this, which I’m sure we will,” she added hastily, “then we’ll know and the press won’t be any the wiser either. They’ll think it happened after we left here.”
A black hole swallowed all the sound in the room as a great chasm opened between them. Thinking her argument sound and congratulating herself at her intelligent choice of words and her good common sense, Natalie watched Hayden patiently, waiting for it to sink in and melt the expression from his face. How could he not agree with her? A smug pride in her logic and a certainty of his capitulation swelled within her.
The silence stretched and tightened ominously not letting up. The longer it lasted, the harder Hayden’s face froze. Shock initially held him rigid. Shock that she would even suggest such a thing so lightly appalled him. Down in the depths under layers of goodness, a fury dormant his whole life began to bubble and boil. And with it a pain so exquisite he thought he would bleed to death internally. For two months he had confronted her logic and reasoning, hammering at it with every beat of his heart and he thought he had succeeded. Failure flushed his pride and shattered it. Could she not see what she was doing to him? Did his feelings mean so little to her?
When he managed to find his voice it was deep and brittle, his words so slow he thought his tongue had swollen to twice its size. “Let me get this straight,” the words dragged out of him, his eyes wide, disbelieving, and cold, “you want to end this?”
A prickle of unease at his tone settled between her shoulders and warned her she was not getting through to him. “No, no!” she assured in a rush. “Just through the next shoot! So we can decide how we really feel.”
“I know how I really feel,” the words splintered in a monotone. “What you mean is you want the leisure to dissect and examine every piece of ‘us’ and put it in a nicely labeled bottle under your control. Control,” the word hissed at her hatefully. “You’re afraid someone’s going to steal it from you and make you give from your heart. I’ve gotten pretty damn close, haven’t I?”
“That’s not it at all!” Natalie denied hotly, jamming her fists on her hips. “Let’s be adult about this!”
An ugly sneer flashed across Hayden’s face, but even that accentuated his beauty, Natalie noted absently. “So, now I’m not being an adult?” He questioned, warning her with his advance. “And just what do we do during this time off that you’ve so cleverly conceived?”
“What do you mean?” She asked warily.
“If we decide we want to go out with others during that time it’s Ok?”
“Oh,” she rushed, feeling a woosh of relief, “we’ll be too busy for that!”
“Really?” He drawled, drawing up closer and looking down at her. “I don’t see it. After all, I found time while here, didn’t I?”
The sly innuendo caught Natalie unawares. Surely he wouldn’t…! “W…w…well,” she stammered suddenly, hatefully unsure of herself, “then, yes, I guess so.” Determined, she straightened herself to stand as tall as possible against his imposing height. “If we want to.”
Hayden considered her thoughtfully for a long moment, head tilted to the side. “And if we want to have sex with our date?”
A feather brushing her skin could have crumpled her to the floor. Shocked at this turn of events she could only murmur, “S...sex?”
“Yes, sex. You know,” he went on in a nasty tone, lip curled, “that physical release that rids us of tension. The stuff we guys only care about.”
A hard, unforgiving lump lodged in Natalie’s throat, discouraging any swallowing. It didn’t matter. Her mouth had dried up like water in the Sahara. The desire to laugh in his face hit her, but died instantly at the cold, hard look in his eyes. The blue irises had faded to a dead pewter, the ever-present spark extinguished.
“I…doubt that will happen,” she answered, no confidence in her statement. Memories of his skill in wringing every drop of response from her, glared in her mind. Could he, would he, do that to another? Knocked off balance she read his mind manipulation and fiercely stirred her own fire. “Ok. Fine. If you want to I guess you will…and so will I!” She finished with bravado.
Hayden snorted. “So, a one or two night stand will suit you just fine?”
Natalie tossed her hair back and smiled nastily. “Guys aren’t the only ones who need to make love.”
“Make love?” Hayden laughed, bewildering Natalie. “Make love? That’s not making love, that’s sex!”
“Fine!” She yelled back at him, unable to stop herself. “Sex! Girls like sex, too!”
A dangerous, loathing entered his eyes. “Well, then,” he breathed softly with a hint of malice. “I guess I can go taste the wares Anna was offering me so blatantly without worrying about you!”
Blood drained from Natalie’s face leaving it stark and shocked. The beat of her heart thumped in her ears and she felt faint. Pictures of Anna taking Hayden inside of her and him reveling in it shattered all her carefully built armor. Stricken she glared at him.
“You bastard!” She hissed, her hand flying to his face.
But Hayden was faster. Inches from his cheek his fingers grabbed her wrist suspending her movement. “What’s the matter?” He goaded, twisting her arm behind her, forcing her body against his. “It’s ok for you and not for me?”
“Let go of me,” she spluttered in demand.
Hayden didn’t seem to hear her. “You just wanted screwed? Well, why didn’t you say so? I would’ve been more than happy to oblige. In fact, let’s compare the difference, shall we?”
The import of his words hit Natalie like a punch. One look at his face confirmed his intent. “No!” Natalie exploded, shoving him with one hand. Hayden let go and she turned to run to her room and lock herself in. She had barely gotten into the hall when a hand grabbed her arm and swung her around.
“What’s the matter, Natalie?” Hayden glared angrily. “Not coarse enough for you? Well, I can fix that.” The force of her back against the wall blasted the breath from her as Hayden pinned her and explored her body with knowing, unforgiving hands.
“Stop it,” she whispered up at him. Almost detached he watched the movement of his hands as they circled over her breasts. The only sign of emotion the muscle twitching in his jaw. He heard her breath hitch in her throat and smiled a sneer. Lowering his head he bit her neck and ran his tongue up to her ear.
“You like it,” he accused, his hot breath causing her to quake. “I can hear it in your breathing. I bet you’re growing wet just thinking about being fucked by me.” At his harsh words her heart skipped, but a betraying wetness dampened her underwear. The hard arousal of his cock pressed against her and she whimpered. “Let’s see, shall we?” In one blinding movement his hands grabbed the hem of her sundress and ripped it over her head. A surprised gasp escaped her and shamefully she faced him, his eyes on her puckering nipples.
A bright, feverish flame sparked in his eyes as one hand reached out to rasp and rotate a nipple. A ‘no’ moaned from her but her hips slid forward seeking his hardness. He only laughed and threw off his shirt, pulling her away from the wall and running his hands down her back and over her behind.
“Oh, yes,” he breathed, eyes glittering wickedly down at her. “A thong. I find girls very sexy in t” W” With one last futile effort she swung at him, but he tumbled her to the carpet, stripped off his shorts and trapped her with his body.
When his lips opened over a nipple she cried out her surrender. Licking and sucking he lashed at one then the other until her hands splayed in his hair clutching him closer. He laughed against her breast as one hand trailed up her thigh and over her damp panties. A very appreciative animal sound growled in his throat as his fingers brushed back and forth over the damp silk. “Oh, yes,” he whispered against her skin, kissing his way to her navel. “I definitely want this.”
His fingers hooked under the straps of her thong and slowly and deliberately eased them down, his eyes holding hers as he trailed them off her legs. Feasting his eyes on her, he fit himself back between her legs and resumed kissing her below her navel.
Natalie’s body escaped from her mind long ago and focused only on what he was doing to her. Her mind cried out ‘traitor’ but her body softened and begged for his touch. Why was it she could never resist him? When his tongue slid over the oversensitive nub between her legs, her body bowed off the floor, a wild cry shattering the hallway. Slow licks of his tongue trailed around it and slid between the folds of her sex. Over and over he licked her, flicking the clitoris and soothing it with hungry rasps of his tongue.
Everything tightened inside of her. She didn’t care anymore. Her hips moved wantonly against his tongue, seeking the release he was teasing her towards. Her heartbeat accelerated, her breathing harsh in her ears. A strangled plea to her Maker brought Hayden’s head up. The breaking of contact filled her with a frightening spear of disappointment. But he was slowly crawling up her body, positioning his rigid flesh against her opening.
“God won’t help you now,” he evilly whispered, slowly, smoothly sliding into her. His name groaned from her as he began stroking her again towards completion replacing his tongue with his hard shaft.
She wanted him to kiss her but he wouldn’t. He would run his tongue around her ear, nip at her neck, but denied her his mouth. Still his hips kept that maddening pace and she twisted against him.
“Yes,” she whispered incoherently, “yes, yes, yeess…” Her hands curled around his shoulders as her legs tightened around his waist, but he grabbed her hands and pushed them over her head, holding them in one hand, relentless in his pursuit.
It was coming, the release, rushing through her like a freight train, overtaking her thoughts. “Look at me,” Hayden commanded, forcing her glittering, heavy eyes to his. She wanted to twist her head from side to side but the look in his eyes held her head still while her body writhed desperately under his. “Now, Natalie,” he gritted between his teeth, watching her closely, “you fly alone.” Bewildered, her eyes widened just as the orgasm ripped through her, slamming into her so fiercely a fiery pain blazed through her head. His name screamed from her lips as her head dug into the carpet in sweet agony. Hayden’s hand slipped over her mouth, muffling her cries, only exciting her more, his eyes watching her with a dead and broken heart.
Before the last of her contractions ebbed, Hayden pulled himself from her, still excruciatingly hard. Giving her no chance to recover he flipped her over, one hand sliding under her and drawing her to her knees. Without warning, without waiting, he pushed into her and began the process all over again. Natalie’s heartbeat hadn’t yet regulated and shuddered into overdrive. Crushing her hips with his hands he sed hed her, concentrating on the tight, hot, wet core of her. He moaned, she answered. He pounded; she gripped his penis tighter within her. Lightheaded she began to race, pushing ast hst him whenever he strained forward.
Bright colors flashed behind her eyes as she neared the top again when suddenly his tempo changed. One, two, three…A grunt of agony fell out of him as his penis pulsed and he spilled himself into her. The fingers dug into the skin over her hips hard enough to leave his prints marking her. Then his body slumped over her while his chest ed wed with exertion. The feel of him curved around her was almost comforting.
Natalie’s body screamed to finish. Instead, he pulled away. She lay on the carpet stunned while he yanked his clothes on. Rolling onto her side she turned her head to see his eyes boring lifelessly into hers. “Well, thanks, Natalie,” he could barely utter. “You were a great lay. I’ll call you sometime, hmmm? Say, oh, two months from now? Maybe.”
Stunned, she watched him walk away, but not before she saw under the veneer of anger and loathing the deep pain in his eyes heightened by the sudden sparkle of a sheen of tears that the light caught when he turned away. Her mouth opened, but no words would come out, so she lay there hearing the soft, decisive click of the door. He was gone.
How long she lay there she didn’t know. Her body hummed with the arousal that still craved a release only he could give her. If she touched herself she would find it, but it wouldn’t give her the completion she needed. Dry-eyed and shocked she finally crawled to her bed and climbed in, the smell of him on her skin, his essence sticking to her thighs. It was for the best, she tried to reason, but the haunting image of his tear-filled eyes burned in her mind. She had hurt him. Badly. That ‘little boy lost’ look wetting his eyes. And that hurt her. He had been brutal in his own way. Brutal, not physically, she knew he’d never hurt her that way, but in the way he withheld his emotional distance from her. Yet, he had still made sure that she had reached their place at least once. Unfortunately, he had damned her to that place alone. He couldn’t even take from her without giving something! Tomorrow she would go make it right. What had she done? The hurt in his eyes tore at her soul. Tears begged for release and she buried her head in her pillow and reached for the one his scent clung to hugging it fiercely to her face. She would not cry. She would not.
Numb, Hayden drained the glass of water, one hand braced against the cabinet above the sink. Dispassionately, he stared at the empty glass in his hand for long moments. In a daze he watched the glass angrily fly against a wall and shatter into pieces. As if it hadn’t happened he turned and walked into his bedroom to fold a few more things into a suitcase. It took him by surprise when drops of tears burst onto the clothing in the case. A few moments passed before he realized they were coming from him. Defeated, he carefully sat down on the bed and put his face in his hands. Only then did the dam burst and he cried, his shoulders bobbing with the effort.
Later, far into the night, Hayden sat defeated and lost staring out into the black expanse of nothingness. Everyone else slept, but Hayden’s unseeing eyes stayed gazing out the window as the jet raced its way across the Pacific towards home.
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