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Pixie Dust and Dark Voids	By : shibbydm Category: Individual Celebrities > Gerard Butler Views: 4192 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Gerard Butler. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Once home, Jade sat, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Feeling the sudden urge for a Disney movie, she had thrown ‘Mulan’ on behind her. Right now, the lyrics to one of her favourite songs were being propelled from the TV. Never before has Jade really looked at herself while listening to this, it seemed to fit with her her emotions right now.

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day it's as if i play a part
Now I see if I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show whom I am inside?
I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart
But somehow I will show the world
What's inside my heart and be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show whom I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal what we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide

Crying softly, Jade wanted Gerard to run in and save her. She wanted him to fix her life, to strip her of her past and love her, make her feel safe. But that would never happen. Jade was stuck in her life, being in love with a man she could never truly belong to, in fear of her father. Wiping makeup from her water logged eyes, Jade turned and looked at her door. Praying Gerard would burst through it. Even if he appeared to tell her to go to hell, she wanted to hear his voice. Why she had run out on him would plague her all night.
As the ‘Mulan’ song came to an end, Jade threw her remote at the television, consequently switching it off. Turning off her light, she stripped herself from her dress and crept under her covers. Holding Gerard’s pillow close, she hugged it close and breathed in its scent, trying to fool her mind into believing he was here with her.
He had offered her everything she wanted, and she threw it back. Marriage to someone she loved had seemed the impossible, but Gerry seemed to think they would do it. Jade knew it wasn’t fair the way she was pulling Gerard along. It was obvious he had been turning down movie parts to spend time with her; he hadn’t filmed for almost a year. But now it was time his life got back on track, Jade knew she couldn’t be a part of that life. Through all of her screamed out for it, freedom wasn’t something she could beg for.

Gerard stood outside Jades apartment. Staring up at the open window, he had watched her walking around, clearly distressed. The light had flicked off and her outline had vanished.
Half of him urged him to go indoors and hold her, the other was past caring. What more could he do?
Every time they fought, they fixed it, and for a few weeks it’s all perfect. But it’s inevitable that her past would rear its ugly head, and then he was thrown into uncertainty again.
Ignoring the dull ache of pain in his chest, Gerard stood to his feet and did something he never thought he would. He walked away.

Early next morning, Jade paced the floor, gulping down coffee. After a long drawn out dream where Gerard had appeared in several forms telling her how much he hated her, then how much he loved her. She decided it was time to sort this out. Fear was hiding in every decision she mused, and she felt sure she was going to throw up by the end of the day. Gerry hadn’t come to her last night, which had been a kick up the backside. How much more could she hurt him? She either had to leave him or sort out her past.
Jade decided leaving him wasn’t an option; just waking up without him upset her. Jade turned as Jake stumbled through the front door, the smell of booze on him.
“Hiya chick! Sorry I didn’t call, it was late and I stayed at Tom’s.” Now relatively sober, Jake threw off his jacket. “Why are you looking at me like that? Is Gerry here?”
“Jake, I want a divorce.” Jade smiled, she had finally said it. Although to be true, this was the easiest part.
Jakes face was blank, then he leapt off the couch and hugged her as hard as he could.
“Oh, thank god!”
Jade laughed, “We are the most dysfunctional couple ever.”
Jake was still taking in this news, “So, you’re leaving me for that bitch!”
“I am leaving you for that bitch, yes” Jade smiled at the thought of Gerard’s face when she told him. “I have been so wrong about all of this. I walked out on him last night. I have hurt him so much. At this minute in time I have nothing else left to lose, except you, my dear husband.”
Jake smiled, “I think I’ll do the angry spurned lover thing and kick Gerard’s ass.”
“Oh puuurlease, your skinny arse would be flattened.”
Jake laughed, leading Jade to the couch, “True, I remember the pain he inflicted when I wouldn’t change the channel. I was shouldered out the room. Very rude young man, I don’t approve.”
Jade fell silent, and tears threatened. “Jake? How do I do this? How can I get away from our fathers? I want Gerard so much. This has to work.”

A few miles away Gerard sat in an airport. His decision to leave early and return home hadn’t been easy. But his heart hurt, and like a child he wanted his mummy.
As he boarded the plane, he smiled when some girls were staring at him, but moved quickly to avoid them. He didn’t feel like a fan encounter right now.
Gripping his carry-on bag, he boarded his plane and waited for take off.

”Ladies and gentlemen, we hope you enjoy your flight. Our in-flight movie will be the Phantom of the opera.”

”Oh, for gods sake” Gerard groaned, but not failing to see the irony, he smiled and hid his face behind a book, praying the people around him weren’t feeling observant.
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Pixie Dust and Dark Voids